Dying Embers
by Rise of the Blossom
Summary: Two months ago, Konoha had fallen. She'd done everything in her power to protect him, to protect them all. But what happens when the ones she'd once sworn to protect become her enemies? What happens when she can no longer tell the difference between reality and the lies her mind had been fed?
1. Prologue

**A/N - You can find the two prequel one-shots in the collection of ShisSaku one-shots. The collection is called _Want Me Like That_ and the one-shots are called _Back to the Future_ and _Back to the Future II._**

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 **Dying Embers  
By: Rise of the Blossom**

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 **Prologue**

Two months ago, Konoha had fallen.

It had been a bloodbath. It was only supposed to have been the Uchiha Clan who was attacked, but the second Danzo turned his sinister gaze on their precious Hokage, Senju Tsunade, everyone had become involved, refusing to bow to such a sadistic man.

"Please. Please stop. She can't take any more."

The arms around her tightened, fighting against the men in a futile attempt to spare her from more suffering, but they responded with a quick blow to the head, rendering the dark-haired woman who had fought for her unconscious. Even then, even as she fought against the darkness taking hold of her, Hyuuga Hinata reached for her weakly, tears filling her desperate eyes.

"Sakura-san!"

As always, everything was a blur and she didn't fight the operatives who were dragging her down the hall. After the first week she found it was pointless. By herself, there was no escaping the maze that was ANBU's headquarters, even if she somehow managed to defeat them in her weakened state. Danzo never allowed her to have access to her own chakra. He deemed it too risky. With her chakra, she could reduce the entire place to rubble even if it meant killing herself in the process. He wisely knew that she wouldn't falter if it meant taking him out. Not after all he'd done. Not after he murdered her shishou and sibling disciple.

Oh, he made sure to prove that to her. On the night of the attack, to try and get her to talk, he'd used Tsunade against her. He'd had her kneeling beside her bloodied body with Shizune mere feet away from them, demanding answers. According to him, they couldn't kill her because she was now Konoha's best medic, therefore a valuable asset. But they could torture her. They could break her. They could manipulate her into working for him.

The now familiar room had ice cold fear shooting through her veins, had her gripping at the arms holding her. Expecting her to react in such a way, they ignored her, using more force than necessary to throw her into the bed that reminded her of the salons she and Ino used to visit. The restraints they used on her were laced in chakra, holding her down. It was precautionary, just in case she managed to access her reserves and use her strength. As always, it had her feeling sick to her stomach, turning those pleasant memories with her best friend into torture scenes that wouldn't let her sleep peacefully even when they were done with her.

Danzo entered once she was secure, followed by a giant of a man who had her shrinking back in her reclined position. She knew who he was. Unlike the operatives, he refused to have his face covered. Was it to freak her out? To emotionally torture her of the fact that the man who was her best friend's shishou was now inflicting torture on her? Was he still teaching Ino? Sakura could vaguely recall them telling her she was still in Konoha.

Just as she was now the best medic, he was the best at his job. There was no one more skilled at torture and interrogation than Morino Ibiki.

"Are you still refusing to talk, Haruno?"

She couldn't find her voice. Never could nowadays. It was like the mere sight of Ibiki took away all her achievements, stripped her of everything she'd become. Just looking into his dead eyes returned her to that day in the chūnin exams, where she'd been too weak to do anything, too weak to save her teammates. To when she'd been alone.

And that was when the torture started. As always, they got stuck in, not starting off with something small as they already knew it wouldn't work. For the longest time, she tried to remain silent. Tried to bite her tongue, but like they always did, they managed to break her silence.

"I don't know anything," she cried helplessly.

Her voice was hoarse, her throat aching terribly from screaming so loudly. However, the pain of her throat was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the pure agony her body was currently in.

"Do not lie to us, Haruno."

The torture continued, her bloodcurdling screams echoing down the corridors.


	2. Awake and Alive

**Chapter 1 – Awake and Alive**

Many things had happened in the past two months, all of which were bad.

Glancing out of the opening to his hideout, staring at the downpour of rain that was simply refusing to let up for even a second, red and black eyes narrowed fractionally, the only show of emotion on his otherwise detached features. It had been raining for days now without a break, making it difficult for them to do many things.

Their village, their home, was no more. Of course, it was still standing, still filled with life, but it was the kind of life living within the village that destroyed it, that destroyed everything Konoha used to be. Not a single soul within those walls was happy. From the reports he'd been receiving from inside rebels, living in Konoha was more like living in a concentration camp, of sorts. That was not how Konoha was supposed to be. People were supposed to feel free and safe, they were supposed to feel like they could be themselves and happy. But all of that had changed on the night of the attack, the night the Godaime Hokage had been assassinated.

There were now public punishments and executions for anyone who dared to disobey – intimidation tactics in a sad attempt to bring order to the chaotic village, to allow Danzo to feel as though he was in control. And the shinobi still living there were worked to the bone, going on back to back missions, never allowed a break. More than likely because Danzo's foolish actions had cut the number of shinobi by half, if not more.

That night had been…

The second their guards were down, hidden enemies had sprung on them like starving wolves, showing no mercy, not even to the elderly who were unable to defend themselves, or the innocent children who could not fully understand what was happening or why. They'd been ruthless, slaughtering anyone who opposed them and stood in their way. Starting with his clan.

The Uchiha Clan had fought hard for as long as they possibly could, knowing that not only would they all be annihilated either way, but also to protect Konoha once Danzo set his sight on their Hokage and anyone who tried to protect her. Even after all their talk on taking over, they had never plotted against innocent people. Just the higher ups, just the ones who hadn't trusted them. People like Danzo.

Those who had been fortunate enough to make it out were in hiding – himself being one of those people. There had been no choice. Had he stayed in the village, he would have undoubtedly been killed just like the others of his clan and there were so many promises he had made. He could not go back on his word, especially not on the vow he'd made to his parents.

Protect Sasuke.

"Itachi."

He looked over his shoulder at the blond standing in the hallway, features downcast as his once cheerful blue eyes looked out at the rain in front of Itachi solemnly.

It was around two or three weeks after they reached the Uchiha Hideout that Itachi was reminded of Uzumaki Naruto's absence from the village. However, as there had been no way of reaching out to him while he was training in Mount Myōboku, all they could do was wait for his return, hoping and praying that he would not go straight to Konoha. Fortunately, he didn't. Itachi had left one of his crows by a well he'd managed to find, one that he'd discovered was used frequently by one of the elder toads. Once the female elder revealed herself, he'd managed to relay his message, warning her of Konoha's downfall. Not even an hour had passed before Naruto was appearing at the hideout, panting harshly, red in the face and demanding answers.

"My brother is continuing to stay silent?" he asked, going back to watching the rain.

During the attack, Itachi had all but dragged his younger brother out of Konoha, picking up other escapees while their parents acted as decoys. In his condition, without his Sharingan more specifically, Sasuke had been useless to him and Itachi's priority was saving his life, even though that meant he'd left without knowing the status on his family and friends.

Every night, attempting to sleep was a losing battle. He would stare up at the ceiling, unwillingly recalling the way that, once he'd realised their parents weren't with them or planning on meeting them, Sasuke had snarled and yelled like he was nothing but a child, screaming that they couldn't leave them behind, they couldn't leave their parents to die. How he could say that given all that he'd done before the attack, Itachi didn't know. He'd abandoned their parents before. Left them to an unknown fate. How was this any different? It was safe to say that his younger brother hated him now. There was simply no getting around it.

 _"Instead of running like cowards,_ " Sasuke had spat at him the next day, when he'd finally found his voice and was capable of standing by himself without support, chakra slowly returning to him, " _we should have stayed with them. Even if it meant dying alongside them."_

Did his brother truly believe that, though? What would come of the village if they were to turn their backs on it? What about the innocent civilians, or the shinobi who weren't strong enough to fight back? Their parents' sacrifices had been noble and every day, Itachi reminded himself that they would not be in vain. One day, Danzo was going to pay for what he had done, but for now, they had to bide their time. They had to grow stronger before attacking that man and his ROOT operatives, especially now that they didn't even have a tenth of the manpower they'd had that night.

Despite his palpable hatred, Sasuke had chosen to remain by his side as they came across more stragglers from Konoha, bringing them to the hideout. There wasn't enough food or supplies for so many, but they made do. They had to out there.

They had to now that they were all living as rogue-nin.

Many were unable to accept their new titles. They couldn't adjust to life on the run. Living in Konoha, they'd soon come to realise, had sheltered them despite their professions. They were unused to the idea of there not being a store on every corner, or constant flows of missions to earn themselves some extra money when they needed it.

Unfortunately, because of being the heir to the Uchiha Clan and the fact they were staying in the Uchiha's hideout, they all looked to him for guidance. Itachi wished they wouldn't. Sure, it was probably the best of a bad situation – he was an ANBU captain before the attack, had the most experience out of all those at the hideout – but… Perhaps it was selfish of him, maybe even weak of him, but he preferred not having such a large group of people relying on him. Not in a situation such as theirs, where death was right around the corner. Perhaps he wouldn't have made such a great Hokage after all.

Apparently deeming it as okay to walk out a little further, Naruto did so, leaning against the opening of the hideout. They'd made it a rule that the blond was only to leave the hideout if they had no other option – Naruto was their trump card. They needed him when they were taking back Konoha, so couldn't risk having Danzo find him.

"Being his usual doom and gloom self," he sighed heavily, dropping to the ground. Itachi glanced at the younger man, assessing his haggard features and suppressing his own sigh at the sight of him. Being locked in all the time was weighing down on Naruto. "His attitude is freaking a few of the kids out – nothing new there, though." With yet another sigh, he muttered, "I don't know what I was expecting, really. I knew he wouldn't be thrilled about being dragged back, but I just…"

Itachi's eyes returned to the downpour, going off into the distance when he saw a strike of lightning, one that was shortly followed by a booming crack of thunder. "You thought he would return as the child he once was."

Naruto's laugh was not cheerful or embarrassed. It signified his exhaustion, his sombre mood, and it made him regard the blond more closely out of the corner of his eye. When he'd first come to them, Naruto had been tanned, but now he was almost as pale as Sasuke. There were dark circles surrounding his eyes and they all knew of his sleepless nights, they knew of his nightmares. They had him crying out helplessly as he imagined over and over again what could have happened to his loved ones that night.

"I always thought it'd go back to being like old times," he mumbled brokenly, no matter how hard he tried to hide his pain. "Back when we were all together as a team. Me, Sasuke, Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei. Before all the bullshit that tore us apart."

A stab of inescapable guilt shot through Itachi at the sound of her name. They'd become friends – she'd been one of his closest and dearest friends, in fact – and he had left her behind. He wished, more than anything, that he had gone for Sakura and Shisui once he had Sasuke. More than anything, he wished to know that they were alive and safe. However, the fact that they weren't at the hideout told him all he needed to know. Shisui would know to go there, regardless of the fact he'd disappeared for eight long years. It was their clan's last resort should they ever have to scatter and regroup. Due to never being necessary, it was never used, therefore, remained a secret.

Although it made his heart ache viciously at just the mere thought, after all the time that had passed and the fact they'd been incredibly vulnerable at the time of the attack, Uchiha Itachi knew that the most likely outcome of that night, for Shisui and Sakura, was their deaths. He simply wished it wasn't true.

"What should I do, Itachi?"

There wasn't much they could do with him. Not out there. Itachi didn't want to think of his brother so negatively, but what choice did he have when in charge of the others? They were all his responsibility. He had to keep everyone safe. "Keep watching him."

Naruto nodded once, blue eyes serious and determined.

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 **A/N - The response for the prologue was amazing! I've only got a few minutes (I'm actually posting this while on my break at work, as I wanted to thank you all for such kind reviews), so I can't reply to reviews at the end of this chapter, but that's going to be my way of responding to the reviews as I'm always getting lost about who I've replied to and who stills needs a response. This way is so much easier.**

 **Okay, so here's my plan for those of you who might be worrying that this story is going to be in Itachi's perspective: it's only going to be the first few chapters that are from Itachi's P.O.V and it's simply to try and set the tone, if that makes sense to you all. I realised only when I started writing the story that there's a really good one already out that's fairly similar (minus the Uchiha Clan and a few other things). Will of Fire, for those of you who might be wondering what it is. It's KakaSaku, but it's still about Danzo taking over and people having to run to save themselves. I recommend it to those who like the pairing, though saying that, it's a really popular story so you've probably already read it.**

 **Anyways, I've got two minutes left of my break, so I'm going to end it here. Thank you all again and I promise, next time I update, I'll reply to your reviews! :-)**


	3. Still Worth Fighting For

**Chapter 2 – Still Worth Fighting For**

It was one of the coldest mornings they'd had so far.

Itachi regarded the large space critically, watching how the others shuffled closer together for warmth. Unlike their homes back in Konoha, in the hideout there were no heaters. No warm beds to snuggle into. In the large room that occupied a single chair (almost a throne, really), they were able to light a fire, one that stubbornly fought the cold, but it could only do so much when there were so many of them. Fortunately, the shinobi were thoughtful and raised to endure such hardships. Civilians were sat in front of the fire, children in front of them.

It sickened him that such innocent people were dragged into the mess Danzo had created – that his clan partly created, too. There were children as young as two in the hideout, their features dirty, clothes smelling strongly of sweat and in some cases, urine and faeces. None of them complained about the smell, understanding that it was a stressful time for the children (one who wasn't even toilet trained yet, although the mother was working hard to try and change that). If they, grown men and women, were struggling to come to terms with what happened, were plagued with vicious nightmares, then one could only imagine how horrifically the children were suffering.

Still, he couldn't help but feel a small slither of hope wedging itself into his heart as he saw two of the younger children playing, managing to talk the older children into joining them. There were obviously no toys for them to play with, but they had their imaginations, which were somehow still so innocent. It strengthened his resolve more than anything. Made him more determined to protect them, to take back Konoha. He had to give those children a future. A chance to live, to experience life and make something of themselves.

A small dog suddenly running into the hideout captured their attention, but nobody reacted negatively, instantly recognising the pug as one of Hatake Kakashi's ninken. Turning, Itachi knelt before the dog, holding out his hand and accepting the scroll he'd been carrying in his mouth. It was easy ignoring the drool by now. He'd grown used to it.

"How's everyone holding up?" asked Pakkun, gaze drifting throughout the group.

Several of the children brightened as they recognised his voice, eyes widening with delight, but they knew better than to rush at him while Itachi still had business to discuss. They hadn't understood at first, wanting nothing more than to play with Pakkun, who'd in all honesty looked as though he'd wanted to be anywhere but there, however, after the first couple of weeks of tugging and rough petting, he'd grown used to the treatment, noticing the happiness in their eyes, knowing it was a distraction from their situation.

Keeping his voice low as the children resumed playing with one another, Itachi told him, "We're running low on supplies. Our strongest have been leaving the hideout to try and find missions for rogue-nin, but due to the oncoming war…"

"You'd think that'd mean more business," the pug huffed and sat down. He continued to pant from the journey and it made the Uchiha wish they had water to spare for him. Sighing, he pulled out his own canteen, opening the lid and tipping it up slightly, allowing Pakkun to drink it. He did so happily but stopped himself from drinking too much, understanding that they had to make it last. They couldn't leave the hideout more than what was necessary. "You've got a few newcomers." His intelligent eyes went around the room again, settling on Naruto for a moment, before then moving to Sasuke. "But still no Sakura, huh?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Naruto dropping his head low, hair shielding his eyes, whereas his brother didn't seem overly concerned, continuing to listen in on the conversation with a dispassionate stare.

"What is happening inside Konoha?" Itachi asked, not wishing to answer the question. He almost wished he could copy Naruto's example, but instead of hanging his head with sadness, his own would be in shame. Guilt. He should have done more that night. Like he'd said: running was unsightly.

If Pakkun noticed the less than subtle change of topic, he chose not to question it, although Itachi knew he'd heard a short-lived whine. "There's an underground group of rebels," he informed him and then nosed the scroll in his hand. "Kakashi thinks Danzo's closing in, though. He's readying the suspects, preparing to run."

Of course. It surprised him that it'd taken Danzo so long to find an excuse to rid himself of Kakashi. The Copy-Nin was his biggest threat, as the villagers would lay down their lives for the man without hesitation, whereas with Danzo, they resisted. They hesitated in taking orders, only taking them to save their own lives. Unlike how they feared Danzo, they respected Kakashi. If anyone was going to overthrow him, then it would be him, even if he was reluctant to do it.

"Ensure Kakashi-san knows where we are," Itachi told him. "Although it is already hidden, as you are aware, I have enveloped the hideout in genjutsu as an extra precaution. To outsiders who happen to stumble across it, it appears as nothing more than an empty building."

Pakkun nodded. "Only reason I knew you were in here was because of your scent, kid. Kakashi'll know, too."

Allowing his lips to pull up faintly at the corners, he reached out, giving the pug a well-deserved ear scratch. Over the past two months or so, he'd done so much for their group, going out of his way to check on them and bring supplies. However, he couldn't bring too much as Konoha was on strict rations. It was precautionary because they were preparing for war and despite the fact they were all so hungry, none of them wished to leave their comrades with empty stomachs, not when they were working under Danzo and unable to rest properly.

"I'll try and find more stragglers before I go back." Standing, Pakkun paused and then licked his hand in a surprisingly comforting gesture. "But don't rule Sakura out yet, kid. Don't forget how strong she is."

He knew better than to underestimate Sakura's skills, but he also knew better than to underestimate her heart, too. That night would have been tortuous for her, having lost her sibling disciple and shishou.

"How are her parents?"

The dog stretched out his legs, preparing himself for another run. He wouldn't be returning to Konoha as it would arouse suspicion. No, Kakashi sent Pakkun whenever he left for a mission, whenever he was certain he was alone and it was safe. "Understandably worried. I don't get to see them much, but that blonde girl's keeping an eye on them. The one who smells like flowers."

Yamanaka Ino. He shouldn't have been surprised. "And her team?"

"Holding on." Once again, his eyes searched the hideout, waiting until Naruto was looking up at him before he said more loudly, "Don't go rusty there, Naruto. We're gonna need your skills."

"Doggy!" one of the children suddenly yelled.

Sighing, Pakkun sat back down, nodding once. "I suppose I can wait an hour or two."

Itachi nodded and gave one last ear scratch, telling him, "Rest after this, Pakkun."

He smiled at that. "I will when you will."

* * *

The inside information was useful, there was no denying that. If Kakashi truly was to leave Konoha then that would leave them in the dark, as there was no other shinobi there that he trusted enough to send information to them. It was too risky to have anyone beneath Kakashi's skill set find out where they were or send a summon to them, as it could, in turn, lead Danzo to finding their location. They were still weakened, unable to fully replenish their chakra due to lack of food and rest.

From what he was aware of, the Inuzuka Clan remained in Konoha, but as he'd previously stated: it was too risky. Their ninken were hardly inconspicuous and while Itachi knew Pakkun stood out, it wasn't to the extent that their ninken did, for they were always by their masters' sides. Pakkun was a summon who didn't even have to return to Konoha or Kakashi once his task was complete.

They couldn't chance sending one of his crows, or Naruto's toads. Again, Danzo would be watching for them. He would notice them in a heartbeat. He more than likely had eyes all over Konoha and its walls, waiting for the moment they revealed themselves.

The scroll itself wasn't overly worrying. It simply informed him of who Danzo's lead suspects were – they had someone even further inside, apparently. Someone who was willing to go against the man while working alongside him. Itachi attempted to guess the identity of the person (only in his mind, of course), but it was impossible. There were too many people surrounding Danzo, mostly his ROOT agents. According to Kakashi, he always had his guard with him, dismissing the Yondaime and Godaime's guard for they apparently weren't to be trusted. In fact, Shiranui Genma was second on the list of suspects, coming straight after Kakashi.

It made sense, in all honesty. Genma and his team had always been loyal to their Hokage, both Namikaze Minato and Senju Tsunade. They would have died with their Godaime had they not already been away on a mission during the attack. To make matters more personal, Itachi could recall a rumour he'd once heard around the village of Genma and Shizune being romantically involved. From what Hyuuga Neji had told him, however, Shizune had died that night protecting Tsunade. Genma – his team, too – would want revenge for not only the death of their Hokage, but for Shizune, too. That was neither here nor there, however. They were all out for revenge.

Looking back to Kakashi's scroll, Itachi narrowed his eyes. While it wasn't too worrying, it meant that their numbers would expand once more. If they continued to grow then they would have no choice but to find a bigger place to stay. There were several rooms, sure, but they'd found that they preferred to stay close and not entirely because of how cold it was becoming. They chose to stay close for comfort, the shinobi wishing to let the civilians and children know that, despite their circumstances, with them, they were safe. They could sleep – or at least try to sleep – with them watching over them.

The most worrying factor was their supplies, which were already running dangerously low. Several of them were going without food simply so that the civilians and children could eat.

"A run?"

He nodded once at Hyuuga Neji's question. "I will go. Neji-san, I would like you to accompany me, but Hanabi-san, I would prefer for you stay here. It will be unnecessary for two Byakugan users to accompany me."

The girl nodded, features detached, but eyes determined. "I will watch over the group."

For someone so young, she was more reliable than most he'd come to know over the years. Then again, age meant nothing. Not in their profession. "Keep watch over the surrounding area, also. Nobody should be able to make it through my genjutsu." Shisui had taught it to him, had helped him perfect it. Aside from Tsukuyomi, it was his strongest genjutsu yet. "It is precautionary, but-"

"We cannot take the risk," she finished for him.

"Precisely." Gesturing to the scroll, he murmured, "Kakashi-san stated that he and a handful of others will be joining us."

"For definite?"

Again, he nodded. "Danzo has grown suspicious of the inside rebels and plans to eliminate his lead suspects. This list starts with Kakashi-san."

"And will be followed by the Hokage's former guard." Neji's gaze narrowed. "To not gain unwanted attention, he will eliminate them one by one, coming up with countless excuses as to why it was necessary."

"That or publicly execute them to prove a point," Hanabi added, her eyes moving to the scroll. "If Danzo can kill strong shinobi like them who are a massive advantage to the village, then he will have no qualms in killing the weaker ones who don't truly benefit him."

She was smart, too. Regarding her silently for a moment, inwardly thankful that he didn't have to dumb himself down or coddle her and hide her from the truth, he turned his attention to Neji. "Which suggests he has even stronger ROOT operatives at his disposal, making the others replaceable."

"Making us all replaceable."

They all looked over to Naruto, who was standing in the archway to the small room he and the two Hyuuga prodigies were sitting in, though it didn't surprise them. Naruto had a tendency to eavesdrop. What surprised them was Sasuke standing a few feet behind him, his unemotional stare a complete opposite of Naruto's frown. As he'd previously pointed out: the hideout had several rooms, but they'd chosen to remain in the largest, staying together in case of surprise attacks. However, they did not discuss Konoha's state or any news regarding Konoha in front of them, for it would only cause more panic and worry. They continued to stay close, but not close enough for any of them to overhear.

"Will Kakashi-sensei make it out?" the blond questioned, not giving them a chance to reply.

Itachi couldn't make any promises, not when he couldn't keep them. He couldn't give Naruto false hopes, either. If something went wrong, if Hatake Kakashi died after he promised the boy that he'd make it out, that he'd survive, then…

Then what, exactly?

"Kakashi-san is a strong shinobi, Naruto-kun, with many skills-"

"That doesn't answer his question."

Itachi resisted the urge to sigh, having grown used to his brother's constant need to question him. It was aggravating, sure, but he understood his reasons. After all, he was the one who had dragged him out of Konoha, abandoning their clan and parents who'd fought valiantly to create an opening for them. Sasuke had every right to distrust his authority, to question everything he said and did. He probably seemed like a coward more than the powerful older brother he'd once adored.

"The probability of Kakashi-san escaping Konoha is as likely as our own escape, if his sources are not giving him false information." Although that was unlikely, given the level of difficulty to flee. Had the information been a lie, they would have decreased the number, allowing Kakashi to believe it would be simpler and leading him into a false sense of security. "As I was saying, however, Kakashi-san is strong and has a wide range of skills, some of which I am certain you know nothing about. Do not underestimate him."

The words seemed to ease some of the worry Naruto was feeling, because he nodded once, frown smoothing, if only by the smallest amount. "And this meeting is because…?"

There was no harm in telling him. At most, the blond would demand to go with them, wanting to be of use. That was easily dealt with. "In his scroll, Kakashi-san mentioned that others would be joining him. We are already low on supplies and will need to try and replenish them."

"But I thought nobody could get any missions?" questioned Sasuke suspiciously, his gaze attempting to pierce a hole through his head.

Itachi wouldn't lie. His distrust, his hatred, hurt. It was his little brother, after all. He was supposed to be able to trust his brother with his life, whereas at that moment, he didn't even trust him with the smallest amount of information. Instead of showing the hurt it caused, he languidly met his eyes, raising his eyebrow a fraction to show that he was growing tired of constantly being questioned, despite earlier stating that Sasuke had every right to do so. "We are shinobi, Sasuke. I believe it isn't below our skill set to hunt for food." Turning his head to the side dismissively, he added, "If it comes down to it, those most skilled at henge jutsu will disguise themselves and ask around once more for missions."

There had to be work somewhere and if they dissociated themselves from Konoha, the probability of finding work would grow higher. Most clients didn't care about where rogue-nin came from, didn't care about their pasts, but Danzo was manipulative. He was dangerous. He would do whatever necessary to achieve his goals. If pressure was placed upon clients, they wouldn't want to go against the Rokudaime Hokage for fear of what would happen to them.

A scowl took over his brother's features, his chakra spiking, but the sudden hand clapping down on his shoulder followed by Naruto's warning glare had him huffing with annoyance and turning, walking away from them without another word.

"How childish," Hanabi muttered, pale eyes leaving the Uchiha crest on the back of his shirt before moving back to Itachi's. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather Neji-nii-san and I trade places? Perhaps it would be better to leave the strongest Byakugan user here, since you will be leaving, also. Otherwise we will be leaving the group considerably weaker."

"That may be so," Neji argued quietly. He didn't even spare the retreating Uchiha a single glance. "But out there is just as dangerous, Hanabi-sama. Itachi-san's genjutsu is protecting the group, however, should he run into trouble and is defeated, the genjutsu will drop, leaving everyone vulnerable – if they even notice the genjutsu ended."

While he disliked admitting such a thing, Neji was right – he needed defending, to a degree. As he'd stated, should anything happen to him, everyone at the hideout would be put at great risk. They didn't have enough energy to continue running, not when children and civilians were involved.

"Do not doubt your abilities, Hanabi-san," Itachi murmured in reply. "You are more than capable of defending them."

At his side, Naruto grinned, scratching the back of his head. It brightened his expression, there was no doubt about it, but Itachi could still see the exhaustion clearly, no matter how hard he was trying to hide it. "Hinata always spoke so highly of you, Hanabi. She's really proud of you, y'know."

"She's," the young girl repeated. She looked down between them, not meeting their eyes and beside her, Neji sighed, hand coming to her shoulder. "O-nee-sama stayed behind to help others escape, even though it meant her death or capture." Hanabi looked back to Naruto, expression returning to showing her detachment. Itachi could understand the need to shut those emotions down, though. "It's not _she is_. It's _she was_. O-nee-sama _was_ proud of me."

"Don't say that."

If Hanabi was surprised by Naruto's sudden seriousness, she didn't show it. Instead, she continued to stare up at him unfalteringly. "Why? It's the truth. O-nee-sama knew what would happen, yet she still stayed behind. She sacrificed herself-"

"Don't _say that_ ," he snarled, blue eyes finally alight for the first time in months. It had Itachi narrowing his own eyes on him, had Neji shifting slightly, their gazes meeting for a split second before returning to the pair. If the seal was ever going to be weakened, it would be right then when Naruto was most emotionally unstable. It gave the Kyuubi the opportunity to take control. They couldn't risk that happening. There were too many innocent people nearby. "You're supposed to be her little sister. How the hell can you say that, huh?"

"You are an idealist, whereas I am a realist." Even as his anger seemed to grow, she remained unmoved. Pale features composed, serious. "What makes you so sure she's alive?"

"Because Hinata is…"

When he trailed off, she raised an eyebrow. "O-nee-sama is…?" Hanabi pushed, then shook her head, annoyance becoming as obvious as Naruto's anger. "O-nee-sama is O-nee-sama, therefore, I love her. However, I know she was mentally and emotionally weak. To save others, she would have given her life to ensure their escape."

Another face came to the front of Itachi's mind, just as he was certain it did Naruto's. It was the face of a woman the same age, a woman who was also emotionally weak. Someone who was more than willing to sacrifice herself to protect others, otherwise she wouldn't be able to sleep at night, her heart in too much pain to allow it.

Those kind green eyes would forever haunt him, of that he was sure.

"It is nice to believe she may be alive," she continued. She seemed completely uncaring of the fact Naruto was now gritting his teeth, almost grinding them together, completely uncaring of the trembling of his fists and the reddening of his face. "But it has been over two months now. O-nee-sama would have tried to contact me if she was alive, even if to only tell me she is well."

"You…!"

"Enough, Naruto," Neji ordered calmly. "It would be best to leave the argument at that."

Everyone had lost someone that night. People they knew better than they knew themselves. While that hadn't been the case towards the end, what with his disappearance and whatnot, Itachi had always known Shisui that way. He knew his friend would have known which hideout to go to, just as he knew his friend had been at a major disadvantage that night. He would have fought alongside Sakura had he thought, for a single second, that she needed help. And that would have ended in his death if he'd gone against Danzo or his strongest ROOT operatives.

As Hanabi had said: it was more pleasant and preferable to view them as alive, but deep down, Itachi knew that, should Shisui and Sakura be alive and still in Konoha, they would not be the same people if he happened to cross their paths once more. Danzo's need to eradicate the evidence of his hatred towards the clan would mean Shisui's death and due to her being there that night and undoubtedly protecting Shisui, it was the same for Sakura. If not, they would just as undoubtedly be experiencing some of the worst kinds of torture imaginable until they relinquished all information and control to him, until they willingly served him and became his mindless puppets.

"Hinata is alive," Naruto muttered, but the Uchiha was fairly certain that it was another's face stuck to the front of his mind. Spinning on his heel, he stomped out of the room and while the subject had been painful for them all in their own ways, Itachi couldn't deny that he felt somewhat… lighter, if that was the right word to use, to see the fight back in his angry eyes. "You'll see."

* * *

 **A/N - So because it's one of my closest friend's birthday today, I decided to update earlier than planned with this chapter. Nena, happy birthday and I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this out after promising it to you earlier this morning. You know how needy boyfriends can be, always demanding our attention ;-)**

 **Anyways, have a good day, beautiful. I hope you get spoiled like you deserve to.**


	4. Prayer of the Refugee

**Chapter 3 – Prayer of the Refugee**

It was around mid-afternoon when they decided to leave. The short hour or so had given Itachi the opportunity to increase the strength of his genjutsu as a precaution, allowed him to ensure there were no pressing matters requiring his attention before leaving. One of the children was coming down with a cold (flu at worst), but other than that, there was nothing to worry about. He simply made a mental note to try and find spare blankets and perhaps soup, too.

The small team he'd put together was filled with capable shinobi without taking too much power from the group, should they be attacked. The others weren't people he'd spoken with while living in Konoha – in fact, until the night of the attack, he'd never seen any of them before in his entire life. Two of the three were older than himself, one being in their early forties while the other late thirties. The final person was fairly young, around the same age as Hyuuga Neji considering they were teammates.

"Are we splitting up once we reach the town?" the youngest of the two kunoichi asked, brown eyes glancing at the last-minute group.

Itachi nodded though didn't look back as they began walking away from the hideout, bodies tense, senses reaching out further than ever to be certain there was no one around. There wasn't. The realisation had him breathing out an unnoticeable sigh, grateful that they'd yet to be discovered. Staying at the hideout for as long as possible, especially now that others were on their way and a child was sick (even if it _was_ only a cold), was imperative.

"If we can't get any missions or food, what's the plan?" one of the other jōnin asked.

"What else is there to do?" the older woman demanded with a roll of her eyes. "We scavenge. Take what we can."

While he didn't relish the thought of stealing from people who were trying to earn a living, trying to run businesses, he had a hideout full of people who were hungry, cold and in need of clean clothes. Children were starting to get sick from the harsh conditions and while that sickness was limited to one child for the time being, Itachi wished it to remain that way. If the children were getting sick, then the adults would eventually get sick. If they were attacked while ill-

"Itachi-san?"

He'd asked them not to add the honorifics 'sama' or 'senpai' to his name, as some had in the beginning. They brought back unwanted memories of his time in the academy. Made him feel like something he wasn't. A false hero, he supposed.

Sighing, he murmured, "Do not take from struggling businesses." Feeling incredulous stares boring into his back had him refraining from sighing a second time. "Do not steal unless it is a last resort. We all have our own lists on what we must collect. Neji-san and Tenten-san, you are responsible for procuring clothing. Etsu-san, Fujita-san and Genzou-san, medical supplies." Narrowing his eyes fractionally as he sent chakra to his feet, aiding in the leap to the branch ahead of him, he said, "I will focus on food."

"Wouldn't it be best to send another with you, Itachi-san?" Genzou asked. When they first met, three days after the attack, his curly brown hair had fallen into his eyes. Now, it was slicked back, the curls dropping with the build-up of oils in his hair. Itachi knew he couldn't comment, though. Not when they were all in similar positions. "I'm sure Fujita and Etsu-san can manage-"

No, he worked better alone. Instead of saying that, he interjected quietly, saying, "It will look suspicious if there are several pairs travelling and entering stores but never buying anything." An idea struck him and Itachi added, more to Neji and Tenten, "When looking for clothing, Neji-san, please try to find spare bedding. Tenten-san, I chose you due to your skills in storage scrolls. You are capable of storing great amounts of items in a single scroll, are you not?"

The brunette nodded and he commended her on her professionalism. Not once did she fall out of line, or look away from the space she had been ordered to watch. Itachi almost felt foolish for presuming she would be the same as her sensei and teammate, when she was, in fact, more like Neji. "Yeah. I emptied all but two before we left, so I have around six or seven to spare."

Good. "Visit inns and see if you can acquire anything from there." It made him feel like a petty criminal, but he supposed that was what life as a rogue-nin was all about. Constantly looking over his shoulder, doing whatever was necessary to keep himself alive. Only, unlike most rogue-nin who chose solitude, he had many who were relying on him. He had to keep himself alive to protect the rest of them. "Bedding and toiletries, more than anything else."

They nodded in understanding before Neji asked, "What about water? Should we all carry as much as we can?"

"Yes." Activating his Sharingan, Itachi glanced around, watching the rustling leaves as a strong breeze blew through them, tearing many from the branches and up into the air. He noticed Etsu pluck a leaf from in front of her, dark eyes saddening. Was he supposed to say something to boost morale? To try and comfort the others? Was that even possible? "Etsu-san, Fujita-san and Genzou-san, focus mainly on pharmacies. If you cannot find what is on the list, use the hospital as a last resort."

"Why a last resort?" questioned Fujita, foot touching down on a branch for a fraction of a second before they were leaping again, one after another. "It'll be quicker going straight there, not to mention they'll have more medicine."

"While that is no doubt true," Itachi began, pausing as he took another leap. "We are trying to keep a low profile. There are too many people in the hospital for it to be a complete success and I do not want any of us gaining unwanted attention, or making any unnecessary encounters." For more the innocent peoples' sake than theirs. Should Danzo catch wind of their being in the town, he would interrogate the villagers, demanding answers. It wouldn't only put the villagers at risk, but also his group back at the hideout. "Which brings me to my next point."

For a few moments, there was tense silence, each of their eyes focusing intently on his back. Due to not wanting anybody to recognise his clan's emblem, he was wearing his plain standard issue ANBU cloak, but the others were all wearing their usual outfits. There was nothing tying them to Konoha in the least and he would prefer it to remain that way. On the night of the attack, he'd been wearing his ANBU uniform to avoid arousing suspicion while breaking Sasuke out of his cell. At the hideout, there'd been a few spare items of clothing lying around and since his clan's shirts were less conspicuous than his ANBU uniform, he'd chosen to wear it. Now he couldn't risk that being seen, either.

"We will be using a henge before entering the village as a precaution. Danzo could potentially have undercover spies watching." Sparing a single glance over his shoulder at the rest of them, he said, "Make yourselves look average – no distinguishing features."

"Such as…?" Genzou pushed.

"For starters, my Byakugan and anything that links me to my clan," Neji stated before Itachi could and behind him, Tenten rolled her eyes, like it was the most obvious answer. "Itachi-san will have to change his entire appearance due to being in the Bingo Books."

Etsu wasn't too bad, Itachi noted and neither was Tenten. They both appeared ordinary and didn't stand out – the latter's youthful appearance could be a bonus for them, also. But would she be prepared to use her looks to get what they needed? Every shinobi did so at one point in their lives, but he understood that Tenten was still young (only a year older than his brother, if he wasn't mistaken). Could he expect something like that from a seventeen-year-old?

Pink hair flashed through his mind, followed by bright green eyes and an innocent, cheerful smile.

Momentarily shutting his eyes, Itachi banished her from his thoughts. It was necessary. He wouldn't tell Tenten outright to use her femininity to persuade others to give her missions, or give her the items she needed. If she used it, then that meant he could rely on her to give her all to protect their group, to provide for them. If not, then they would find missions and the items on their lists some other way.

The other men's appearances, Fujita's and Genzou's, were also ordinary and Itachi knew that they weren't in any of the Bingo Books despite their skills being great. They wouldn't need to use a henge like himself and Neji.

When they arrived just outside of the village, Itachi signalled for them to stop and turned to face them. "Etsu-san, you can sense chakra, correct?"

She nodded once, features stern as she pressed her hand to the trunk of the tree she was stood on, dark eyes narrowing on the village before them. Her ash brown hair was scraped back into a high ponytail that rested on the top of her head, making her eyes appear more slanted and smoothing out a few of the fine wrinkles on her face.

"There's a lot of people," she informed them and then raised her hand, creating a single hand sign. Shutting her eyes, Etsu focused intently on the chakras she could sense, the rest of them remaining silent to better her concentration. "More civilians than shinobi, but there _are_ a few powerful chakras in the village. None I recognise, though."

Itachi wouldn't have expected her to recognise any of them. Her rank in Konoha wasn't high enough to grant her audiences with Danzo or his ROOT agents. Still, it was comforting to know they didn't have to worry about crossing paths with their comrades – or former comrades, he supposed.

Opening her eyes once more, Etsu looked back to them before focusing on Tenten. "How old are you?"

The question seemed to shock her, because the younger kunoichi was frowning, glancing around at them all. Knowing what Etsu was after, Itachi didn't intervene. It was probably easier coming from another woman rather than himself. "What does my age have to do with anything?"

"Once you reach a certain age, you're trained in the art of seduction," Etsu informed her, features composed and serious. "In the academy, you receive lessons on how to act like a woman, also. So?"

She sighed, head turning away from her teammate. "Seventeen."

"Good." Again, the older woman created a hand sign, her appearance changing until she was much younger. She looked a lot cleaner, too and seemed to have been wearing makeup. Itachi had to admit: he'd never seen the henge jutsu used to apply makeup before. "Tidy yourself up-"

"You're not suggesting-"

"Neji-san," Itachi cut him off smoothly, body turning slightly so that he could face him. "Tenten-san is trained for this and at one point in all our careers, this is expected of us."

By the Hyuuga's side, Tenten smiled faintly and took his hand, focusing on him entirely as she looked at him, pleading with him to understand. "It's for the people at the hideout. The civilians and the children."

"I know," he replied quietly. "But despite seduction lessons, you have never been on a mission that required you to use those particular skills."

She nodded in understanding, still holding on to his hand. "I'm okay with that because I have you with me, watching my back." Itachi almost felt the need to turn away, to give them some privacy. It surprised him that he hadn't noticed how close the pair were in the past two months – they were definitely more than teammates. It reminded him of the day he'd interrupted Shisui's and Sakura's moment on the sofa and in response, he felt a horrible pang of regret in his chest, one that was impossible to ignore. It made him ache that they never had the chance to explore their feelings. "If something goes wrong, I know I can rely on you to have my back."

Neji hesitated in his reply, his eyes never leaving her features for a moment, until he sighed and nodded, watching silently as Tenten passed a storage scroll to each of them and used the henge jutsu. Instead of her more reserved clothing, she was wearing a dress that was feminine while still practical, still allowed her to move more freely and her pack was gone, hiding away her remaining storage scrolls. Itachi was surprised with how well she held it, how she instantly knew what features to enhance and exploit.

The rest of them followed their examples, cleaning themselves up and appearing more presentable. The Hyuuga's hair remained the same colour, though was much shorter in his henge, almost like Sasuke's – only completely flat – and his eyes were now a deep blue. His clothing was less formal, but like Tenten's, still practical. For himself, Itachi kept his hair long, though turned it dull blond and had it pulled back into a bun, soon followed by his eyes changing to brown and his cloak turning black, covering his clothing completely. He altered his features somewhat, as did Neji, to erase any evidence of them being linked back to their clans.

Confident that they were ready, he faced the village once more, signalling with a simple movement of his hand for the team to move out.

* * *

Three missions, all of which were completed quickly and efficiently. The pay wasn't as great as it would have been in the village – that was merely the clients taking advantage of desperate rogue-nin, not wanting to pay the full price of the hidden villages. Itachi didn't complain. Money was money and it allowed him to purchase plenty of food, although he unfortunately resorted to stealing when he realised it wasn't enough for everyone.

Wishing to view it from a brighter angle (as both Shisui and Sakura had often told him he needed to do), Itachi reminded himself that the sick child back in the hideout was now going to receive the vitamins he needed, along with plenty of soup. Additionally, he would no longer have to endure Uzumaki Naruto's whining about missing his precious ramen, as Itachi made sure to pick as much of it up as possible. It wouldn't keep him quiet for long, but it was a start.

The village was of an average size, but there were many both living there and visiting, reminding Itachi of Konoha with its busy, loud streets. It brought forth a painful sensation of homesickness, leaving him breathless when he'd first arrived. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine he was back home and standing in the market, surrounded by his comrades and fellow villagers. He could imagine he was back in his district with his clansmen. With his parents. With Shisui and Sakura.

Leaning back against the tree trunk, he waited for his group to return, masking his chakra. They had a sensory type in one group and Neji in the other, so he knew they would find him eventually. If not, then he knew who not to take next time they had to make a supply run.

Neji and Tenten were the next to return, both nodding once at his questioning silence, telling him that they'd managed to get everything on the list, if not more. Good. Now, they had food and spare clothes. Itachi debated on whether it was safe to go in groups to the lake – it was half an hour away on foot, taking them further into Fire Country. Would the civilians be okay with that? Or should he have tried to store away a few baths and used water jutsu to fill them?

It was maddening that someone had created a hideout without any plumbing or bathrooms, leaving them to take turns in rushing outside when it was safe to do so. Then again, the hideout was old – he wasn't even sure how long it had been around. When they arrived, everything was coated in thick layers of dust and the only supplies they could find were weapons, which wasn't too surprising considering it was a last resort more than anything else. Clansmen were forbidden to go there unless it was an emergency, the elders wishing to keep the hideout a secret should they ever need to flee from Konoha.

Twenty minutes later, the last three finally returned, breathless and pale. Itachi made sure to thank them for their efforts, grateful that they'd gone to such lengths while so exhausted to ensure they salvaged everything they needed. Unfortunately, they couldn't linger any longer as it was too risky. They understood, not arguing when they set off back to the hideout.

They were eagerly waiting for them and when they returned, several of the civilian women approached them, surprising the makeshift team with cups of hot tea – heated by a fire jutsu, one told them. It wasn't anything fancy and it didn't taste nice, but Itachi was thankful and didn't hesitate in drinking the tea.

 _That_ was what Konoha was supposed to be. Protecting one another, caring for one another. The shinobi protected the village and the villagers with their lives, doing everything possible to give them peaceful, happy lives and in return, the civilians did all they could to assist them. It was about finding a balance, about _teamwork_. While Itachi may not have always believed that, the past two months had taught him so much.

"Itachi-san?"

Smiling, he handed his cup to a child and gestured for the rest of the children to take a few steps back before releasing the seal on his storage scroll, watching their eyes go wide in awe and surprise as huge piles of food were presented to them. The civilians got there before the children, however, assessing the piles with hesitant smiles, exchanging glances of disbelief and hope.

"Amazing," one gasped, holding up the large cut of meat he'd managed to snatch.

"This is great," a man said with wide eyes. "We won't have to worry about food for another two weeks."

"Thank you, Itachi-san."

At the sight of one mother and her son lingering in the background, keeping their distance from the others and the food, Itachi picked up the smaller pile he'd purchased out of one of the mission's pay, approaching them and kneeling, giving the child a smile.

"These are for you," he told them both, placing the food down on their sleeping bag. They'd managed to scavenge enough of them to give the civilians beds, but children were sharing either with each other or with parents, whereas the rest of them slept rough. "I managed to find fruit, vitamins and cough medicine, also."

The young boy was no older than five and was sickly pale, inwardly making Itachi frown with worry. He seemed sicker than earlier that day and he hoped it wasn't anything more serious than the flu, for they didn't have any medics at the hideout. Sure, Itachi knew basic medical ninjutsu, but nothing that would be of any use if it was serious. He wouldn't even know where to start.

"Thank you," his mother gushed. Taking his hand in hers, she gave a gentle squeeze, blue eyes screaming their gratitude. "Thank you so much for this."

He could only nod, unable to find his voice as he continued to assess the pale boy's features. A few moments later, he managed to say, "Get plenty of rest and stay wrapped up. Neji-san and Tenten-san have managed to acquire extra bedding and clothing."

At his words, the pair took them all by surprise by opening not one or two, but four storage scrolls worth of clothing, bedding, toiletries _and_ futons. Enough for them all – more, even. It had Itachi hoping they hadn't robbed a single inn, for they would surely go out of business, but at the same time, he was unbelievably grateful for what they'd done.

"We'll have to use the other rooms," Naruto spoke up from across the hall, his voice low. He was sat back against a wall, legs stretched out in front of himself and eyes heavy. "We won't fit all that in here."

No, they wouldn't, especially not with others due to arrive at some point. Standing up straight and assessing the group, who all watched him curiously in return, Itachi ran through his options. He could put the civilians, who were fewer in number, in one of the smaller rooms, placing a genjutsu around it to further conceal their presence in case of a surprise attack, although that would mean another constant drain on his chakra. There was the option of mixing them up – half shinobi, half civilian. That was probably the best option they had. Splitting their strength equally. A balance.

But before he had the chance to so much as consider who would go where, several shinobi, all with impressive strength, managed to break through his genjutsu. They hadn't hesitated, hadn't been hindered by it in the slightest.

Itachi wasn't the only one who suddenly left the hideout, signalling for the others to remain silent and hidden. Neji, Hanabi, Tenten, Naruto and Sasuke left alongside him. He had a feeling the other shinobi would have, had he not ordered them to protect the civilians with a simple glance of his Sharingan.

They were completely unprepared for the sight that met them, the four opposite them breathing harshly and covered in blood, limbs shaking with exertion and making it obvious they'd fought to escape. What stunned them further was the bloody mess of a woman in their arms, features deathly pale and soaked in sweat and grime, left eye covered with a blood-soaked bandage that was clearly put on in a hurry.

"We found her on the way here," Kakashi muttered as Neji stepped forward numbly, taking the unconscious woman from his arms and holding her close, eyes wide and composure slipping, making way for horror and disbelief.

"I did what I could to stop the bleeding and numb the pain," continued Genma through his pants for breath. "Someone did the main part. Saved her from dying, by the looks of it. But… it's gone. Danzo took her eye."

Hanabi's knees gave out on her, tears filling her eyes.

"O-nee-sama."

* * *

In that moment, Itachi wished Sakura was there with them. She would know what to do in an instant, would know how to treat Hyuuga Hinata's wounds. Instead, he, Genma and Kakashi exchanged what they knew of medical ninjutsu, taking turns in trying to heal the damage. They were useless compared to Sakura, however.

"The Byakugan is much more complex than the Sharingan," Kakashi commented, leaning back against the wall and breathing out a deep sigh. He and the Hokage's guard were still injured and in pain themselves, but they endured it. They were more concerned with the Hyuuga. "The knowledge I'd picked up from Sakura is meaningless, it seems."

Meaningless… "It's not meaningless," came Itachi's quiet argument. Nothing Haruno Sakura had done in her lifetime was meaningless. All the knowledge she'd come to learn about the Sharingan was learned to try and better Shisui's life – to better all their lives. She more than likely gave up her life to protect Shisui. That will never, in a million lifetimes, be meaningless to him. "The knowledge Sakura shared with us will be useful." Turning his head to the side to assess the newcomers, he said, "We will make sure not to waste it."

Speaking of Sakura seemed to dampen the mood even further, not that it really surprised him. The villagers of Konoha had adored Haruno Sakura. They were eternally grateful for the hard work and kindness she'd displayed over the many years as their Hokage's beloved apprentice. They witnessed her heartbreak, her suffering and her perseverance. Not to mention the man standing behind him was her former sensei, a man who'd watched her grow from a weak, emotional child to a powerful and passionate woman. They were bound to grow upset at the mentioning of her name.

"We won't waste it," the Copy-Nin agreed, single eye heavy. How many had Hatake Kakashi lost over the years? It struck something within Itachi to know that it was impossible to grow used to or become immune to death. It still hurt, no matter how many losses a person went through.

"Is there no chance of…?"

Naruto's broken voice had Itachi looking away again, Kakashi's eye squinting ever so slightly. The two Hyuuga were sitting at Hinata's bedside, their legs folded beneath themselves as they watched her relaxed pale features. After trying their best to heal her wounds, Hanabi had asked to be left alone with her sister for a while. When they returned, she was cleaned up and dressed in some of the clothing they'd acquired earlier that day. Wherever she'd been, there hadn't been any spare changes of clothes or washing facilities. Her clothes had been ruined, barely clinging together. It was distasteful keeping her in that state of undress, Neji had muttered, keeping her body covered. Shameful, Hanabi had added before ordering another to gather some water and cleaning supplies.

"If Hinata's been kept captive for the past two months, then Sakura-chan could've been captured, too," the blond added more seriously, voice hardening. "She could still be alive."

It was something he wished more than anything – for his friend to be alive. But if that was the case, then she would be experiencing some of the worst torture imaginable because of her connection to Shisui and many other Uchiha. That wasn't going into the fact that Sakura was a stubborn woman. After the death of her shishou, she would not bend to Danzo's will. She would not allow him to control her or use her. She would fight against him with every fibre of her being simply to spite him, which would bring her more pain.

Perhaps it would be a kinder fate if she had died that night. Sakura wouldn't be the same woman at the end of the torture.

"She-"

"Someone saved O-nee-sama's life," Hanabi murmured softly and tilted her head to the side, eye going straight to Naruto's. "I doubted you once before. I believed, more than anything, that O-nee-sama was dead because of her kind heart. You were right, however. I will not doubt you again."

His features scrunched up for a split second until Naruto nodded quickly. "Thanks, Hanabi."

"I mean it." Pale eyes narrowed fractionally, eyebrows knitting together. "I will follow you from now on, Uzumaki Naruto. If you want to search for her – for Haruno Sakura – I will lend you my eyes. If she truly saved O-nee-sama's life, I will lend you my strength, also."

Smiling in thanks, he put his hand on her shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. "Sakura-chan _is_ alive. I just know it. Team Seven doesn't know how to give up."

Itachi wished he had the same faith as them.

"There was a strange vial in O-nee-sama's pocket, by the way," Hanabi then stated and reached into her robe, removing a small vial from it. "It looks like blood."

"Blood?" repeated Itachi, no matter how hard he tried to keep the uncertainty out of his voice. Standing, he approached the Hyuuga, taking the vial from her hand and holding it up, the flickering flame on the wall only offering a small amount of light. It was dark in colour, though that could have been the colour of the glass, for it held an odd tint. "Her own?"

"Why would she-"

"Look at the state she's in," he cut Naruto off without hesitation. "Though unconscious, she is not dead. With her blood, we could still summon an animal should she hold a contract."

"Hinata-sama does not hold a contract," Neji informed them.

Pushing away from the wall, Kakashi held his hand out, accepting the vial and without pause, he opened it, narrowing his eye. He hesitated in bringing it to his nose, gaze briefly meeting Naruto's, who instantly clicked onto what he was thinking. He straightened up, whiskered features brightening considerably, excitement almost getting the best of him as he bounced in his place from foot to foot.

And then Kakashi was breathing in the scent for a split second before he was nodding once, his hold on the vial tightening.

"It's Sakura's blood."

"Sakura's," Itachi repeated. His hand itched to take it back, his heart impossibly seeming to skip a beat as his stomach somersaulted. She was…

"But why would she-"

Disbelief had Itachi's eyes going wide, had his hands flying through the familiar hand signs before he was all but snatching the vial from Kakashi's grasp, using Sakura's blood to summon Katsuyu.

The fact that the slug appeared, in a human sized form no less, told them all they needed to know.

"She's alive," he breathed and looked back to Hyuuga Hinata. "Sakura is alive."

"That's…" Katsuyu seemed to lose her voice momentarily, her body quivering as she gasped out, "Sakura-chan's chakra is weak – weaker than it's ever been. I am grateful that you summoned me in time."

"In time for what?" demanded Naruto angrily. "Sakura-chan's not gonna die."

"N-Not…" She was still trembling, but they were all stunned when a hand appeared from her side followed by a foot on her other side. "She begged of me to save him. Until now, I have been keeping him in an induced coma, healing his injuries with what little chakra Sakura-chan could send, but he's been fighting it. I can't-"

The appearance of a struggling body had her cutting herself off, the sound of his coughing and spluttering covering her voice and they were all speechless when he fell to his knees, shaking with the force of his hacking. There wasn't a mark on his body, skin smooth and flawless if not a little paler than usual and without a second thought, Itachi fell to his knees beside the older man, hands faltering in mid-air when Shisui's haggard features lifted, wary eyes snapping to his, but then he was yanking Shisui against him, holding him tightly, breathing out a deep sigh of relief.

Alive.

His precious people.

They were both alive.

"I-Itachi," he rasped, hands falling to his forearms. "Sakura is…" Shisui swallowed hard and seemed unable to gather his thoughts. "Where a-are we?"

"Rest," Itachi warned him and pulled back, watching him closely. "We can talk more about Sakura once you are-"

But his words and their surroundings seemed to anger him, his usually relaxed features twisting into a scowl as Shisui grabbed at his arms. His hold was weak, the tell-tale signs of being in a coma for over two months, but the look in his eyes told them what his actions couldn't: he was desperate. It was in the way his eyes widened a fraction, in the down-turning of his lips and the mashing together of his eyebrows. His eyes… He could–

"Where is she?" he demanded darkly.

* * *

 **A/N - I promise I'll definitely reply to you all when I've finally got the chance, so please don't think I'm ignoring you. I've been pretty busy lately and have only been able to write bits and pieces for my stories, hence the slow updates for Saviour and STIL. I have some time off next week though, so I'm hoping that gives me the chance to write and respond.**


	5. Seldom Do These Words Ring True

**Chapter 4 – Seldom Do These Words Ring True**

Darkness. That was all he'd known since the night of the attack – no, not even that. Half of the time he was unconscious or barely even aware of himself. The other half he was struggling to escape the confines that was Katsuyu's body, not fully understanding what or who was keeping him captive.

Oh, he was angry. Livid, in fact. Angry at his situation. At Danzo. At Sakura. Most of all, Shisui was angry with himself. Sakura should never have been put under so much strain, should not have had to make such difficult decisions. Even now, after however long it had been since that night, Shisui could feel her scorching tears that'd only briefly touched his face during their kiss. The decision to give herself up to save his life, to save all their lives, had terrified her. He hadn't needed his sight to know that.

"She's alive," Itachi confirmed and gestured to the slug who'd kept him trapped. No matter how hard he fought to escape, he never could. No doubt in her own world, Katsuyu was able to rely on her own strength, though continued to borrow Sakura's chakra to heal his eyes as much as possible. It made him feel sick with himself. "We are unsure as to where she is being kept – we are waiting for Hinata-san to wake-"

"You don't…" He hardly even registered the blond boy who handed him a canteen of water. Ignored it all as he kept his hard eyes on Itachi's. "You don't know where she is."

His friend didn't look away. "No."

Why he felt so angry, Shisui was unsure. It wasn't Itachi's fault they were in such a mess. Maybe it was because he'd always been so certain about the younger Uchiha's power? Maybe because he believed that, somehow, Itachi would have saved Sakura? Would have done what Shisui himself was unable to do? Maybe that was the true reason behind his anger – his own inability to save her that night, leaving her to hand herself over to Danzo.

"Why are _you_ getting so worked up?" questioned the blond boy, his eyes narrowing. "How do you know Sakura-chan?"

Sakura-chan? Who was the boy and what did he mean to her? What did she mean to him? Shisui's sight wasn't completely healed – only Sakura herself could heal the damage due to her knowledge on the Sharingan – so he remained partly blind. Similar to the final healing session's results, he could see shapes and colours, but everything was blurred. It was enough to move around by himself, but not enough to be of use to anyone should he be needed in battle. He'd proven that on the night of the attack. Instead of helping, he got in Sakura's way.

"Shisui, this is Uzumaki Naruto," Itachi murmured. "Naruto-kun, this is my friend, Uchiha Shisui."

"Shisui?" the boy asked. There was an odd feeling in the pit of Shisui's stomach, leading him to believe Naruto was pouting. "Never heard of him."

"Sakura had been his carer for several months before the attack."

She had been much more – so, _so_ much more – than that. The simple reminder of their almost kisses made his heart do strange palpitations. Then there was the actual kiss and… It certainly hadn't disappointed him in the least. Sakura's lips were full and she had kissed him with just the right amount of pressure – conveying her worry and desperation, sharing with him her feelings. He'd felt her feelings _for_ him.

But now she was gone. She'd been left behind.

His fists clenched.

"I heard of your return," Kakashi spoke up casually. His outline told Shisui that the man was standing further away, leaning back against the wall. Altogether there were nine others in the room and he knew three of them were the Hokage's personal guard. "I wasn't sure whether to believe it."

With a grunt, he pulled himself to his feet, making his way over to one of the walls where he held up his hand, fingers tracing the clan's emblem to make sure what he was kind of seeing was real. "Which hideout is this?" Frowning, he turned his head in Itachi's direction and noticed he was also standing now. Was it okay to give away precise locations, or were they to assume everyone was a spy? "Last resort?"

"Yes." His friend moved closer to him though made no move to reach out. Probably wondering how long Shisui's body was capable of carrying him for. Honestly, he was wondering that himself. It hurt to move around too much, even though he'd only stood and walked a few steps. The coma had left him weakened considerably. "As you have already noticed, there are more than just Uchiha clansmen here."

A weight settled deep in his stomach. "How many Uchiha…?"

There was a beat of silence and it felt like nobody in the room would meet his eye. "Three."

"Including the two of us."

"Yes."

It annoyed Shisui that he couldn't read Itachi's expression. The kid had always been open to him – well, perhaps not always, for not a single person truly understood Uchiha Itachi, but that was beside the point. Danzo would not have risked any Uchiha making it out alive. Any survivors would have been tracked down and slaughtered. The hideout they were in was the last resort, the place they went to if Konoha turned on them. It was the only Uchiha hideout Konoha did not know about. All Uchiha who were there, were all the Uchiha left. Their clan had gone from a population of hundreds to three people.

A wave of despair washed over him, though didn't stop with a single wave. It continued to lash at him, to tear his heart to shreds. The pain damn near brought him to his knees as he thought about all those lives lost. While not every Uchiha was innocent, there _were_ innocents there that night, including children.

And now they were all dead.

"Sasuke is the third, I take it."

From what Shisui could tell, not a single muscle (other than his lips as they moved) in Itachi's features twitched. "He is."

No doubt Mikoto had begged Itachi to save his younger brother. Even if she hadn't, he would have gone for Sasuke. Shisui knew better than anyone not to doubt an Uchiha's love. It didn't matter if that person had been in their life for many years, or mere days. If an Uchiha loved another, then little else mattered to them other than that person. Itachi's love happened to be his brother – the boy he'd cared for since the day he was born. It was always Itachi's responsibility to care for Sasuke, to ensure he got the attention and love he needed.

In his own case…

"What about Sakura?" he quietly demanded, looking to the slug. "Can't you communicate with her?"

"Perhaps if she had access to more of her chakra, then I could use a reverse summoning jutsu," Katsuyu explained and her head dipped slightly, followed by her optical tentacles. "Right now, however, Sakura-chan is too weak for me to try and communicate with her. She will need every drop of chakra she has available. There is also the probability of her not being alone – to drop in like that could put her life in danger, even more so should they so much as suspect you're still alive, Shisui-kun."

There was no use in asking why she would need every drop of her chakra. Shisui knew why. If Danzo stayed true to his word of overthrowing the Hokage, Senju Tsunade, then that made Sakura the best medic in the village, if not the world. He would do whatever possible, hurt her in who knows how many ways, to warp Sakura's mind. Even if he was contradicting everything he'd once said about protecting the village (by attacking said village), he would still be wise enough to try and recruit Sakura. Only a fool would overlook her skills.

More than ever before, Shisui was glad Danzo failed to steal his eyes.

"If he hurts her…"

Shisui tilted his head in Naruto's direction, fractionally narrowing his eyes on the pacing, seething blond. His memory told him that the boy was the Yondaime's only son, otherwise known as the Kyuubi jinchūriki. No doubt Itachi was keeping his trump card well-hidden, waiting for the day they took Konoha back.

" _If_ he hurts her?" asked another. He didn't know the boy's name but could tell that he was a Hyuuga. "Look at Hinata-sama, Naruto. Do you truly believe that there's only a chance of Danzo harming Haruno?"

That was better, a childish, possessive voice hissed in the back of his mind. Use of surnames was far better than saying Sakura-chan.

"Quiet," hissed the other Hyuuga. Were they siblings? They looked as though they were. "O-nee-sama's waking up."

Another Hyuuga? Why were there so many? Okay, three wasn't that many, but it was still more than expected considering it was only the Uchiha Clan that was attacked. Then again, Danzo overthrew the Hokage, no doubt killing her. The shinobi would have retaliated and demanded vengeance for their Hokage, who, from what Shisui had heard, was a miracle worker in terms of healing abilities.

For Danzo to turn on two of the major clans of Konoha was ludicrous. No, it was terrifying. Was he losing his mind? How the hell did he win that night? How strong had ROOT become?

Everyone fell silent as the dark-haired girl in the sleeping bag began to move, as her features scrunched up and her hand swung up for her bandaged face – her eye, perhaps? Shisui tried not to, but he ended up squinting to try and see better, willing his eyes to grant him just a tiny bit more detail. He was wary of pushing them too much, however. Sakura was not there for the time being, meaning he was unable to reverse any damage straining them would undoubtedly cause.

At the faintest of whimpers that came from her, the other Hyuuga female reached out, taking the hand that was trembling on the bandages and holding it between hers, bringing it away from her face.

"O-nee-sama," she whispered.

"I-It's gone," came her whimpered reply, voice shaking almost as badly as her hands. "Danzo took…"

He took her eye. Shisui glanced over to Itachi, not surprised in the least to find his friend already looking to him. Danzo's fascination had always been the Sharingan – his own, more precisely. They hadn't even considered his possible interest in the Byakugan. The fact that he'd bothered taking the eye told Shisui the girl was from the main family, as to take a branch member's eye would be pointless – it was sealed away with their death.

"Hinata-sama," the male spoke up, leaning forward ever so slightly. "What happened?"

The girl, Hinata, swallowed hard, her already pale skin paling further and at the sight of her preparing herself to speak, the others drifted closer though were wary of overcrowding her. The only one who didn't seem concerned with crowding her was Naruto, who sat beside the Hyuuga man.

"The night…" Her voice sounded as bad as his own and Shisui looked down to the canteen in his hand before handing it to the youngest Hyuuga, watching the outlines as it was handed over and sipped from. Breathing out a sigh, Hinata managed to say, "Many were captured, from what I could tell. Anyone who didn't surrender, though were deemed an important asset, were taken to…" She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't know where. There were so many corridors and doors – like a maze."

"More than likely ANBU headquarters," murmured the Copy-Nin.

"ROOT headquarters," Shisui argued. "ANBU's would be too predictable. Only a select few know where to find ROOT's."

The blond kneeling by her side leaned closer. "What happened after?"

He was pushing her for information on Sakura, to know of her whereabouts and what was happening to her, but Hinata didn't seem to notice and if she did, then she didn't mind. Her cheeks reddened when she looked to him (even Shisui could see that and his eyesight was horrendous).

"There were so many of us – they had to place several of us in the same cells and it was never silent. There was always some kind of…" Tears filled her only eye, her breathing turning shaky again. "Sakura-san was with me. Even though it was such dire circumstances, I was grateful for her presence. Without Sakura-san, I have no doubts I would have died. She saved me several times." The tears finally fell and she forced herself into a sitting position, her dark hair hiding her features as her head dropped. "Without Sakura-san, I never would have escaped."

Dread ran up Shisui's spine as realisation took his breath away.

In other words, she…

"You mean she helped you escape and you left her behind."

The new voice had many turning in the direction of the archway, the sight of Sasuke keeping Shisui's stolen breath away from him. The last he'd seen of him, Sasuke had barely reached his hip. He'd been full of smiles and cheekiness, always declaring that Itachi was the greatest and that no one could defeat him. Now, even without being able to fully see his expression due to how far away he was, Shisui could tell Sasuke was closed off. He could feel the cold, muted anger coming from the boy in waves. Whatever had happened in the past few years had hardened him, had made him the total opposite of the happy boy he'd once been.

Now, he was the boy who'd broken both Itachi's and Sakura's hearts on several occasions.

Hinata visibly flinched at his words. "I…"

"Oi, Sasuke," muttered Naruto as he pulled himself to his feet. "Don't put words in her mouth."

"Put words in her mouth?" he repeated blandly, staring the blond down. "She said it herself. Without Sakura, she wouldn't have escaped. You _do_ know what that means, don't you?" When Naruto could only grit his teeth in response, the youngest Uchiha scoffed, further surprising Shisui with how cold he'd become. So _this_ was the Sasuke Sakura couldn't bring herself to visit. "Danzo has just lost a bargaining chip. He's lost someone who could potentially benefit him in the future. A Hyuuga heir, no less. Something to fix his mistake of taking down the Hyuuga Clan."

"Oi-"

"Sasuke's right," Kakashi told them, cutting Naruto's angered growl off. "Danzo won't let that go."

There was a loud whimper, followed by the shaking of Hinata's shoulders. Her sister (Shisui still didn't know her name) shifted forward at the cries, trying to bring her closer, but even to him, the movement was awkward. Like she'd never been in such a position before where she had to comfort someone.

"I-I didn't want to," cried Hinata. "Sakura-san told me-"

"Sakura- _san_ ," came Sasuke's harsh sneer, "is tied to my clan and the Hokage. Her skills are now second to none and demand that she be kept alive. Do you know what that means?"

"Back off, Uchiha." The Hyuuga male's eyes were narrowing, his expression darkening.

But he didn't. He continued to glare at the trembling girl, muttering with clear disdain, "Sakura will be receiving the worst kind of torture right now because of your escape – anything before now will be child's play in comparison." It stunned them all when his eyes bled to red and black, narrowing dangerously. "She won't be given a relief from her suffering, only more pain and _you_ left her behind."

"I didn't want to," she repeated weakly.

"You didn't want to, or you were thinking only of yourself?"

"Sasuke," warned Itachi, voice low.

"You're all cowards," he spat at them.

Shisui had to admit that he surprised even himself by summoning enough strength and speed to turn on the wayward boy, hand grabbing his throat and slamming him back into the wall, leaving cracks on the wall surrounding him. Their faces were mere millimetres apart, both sets of eyes narrowed and deadly – only, his own Sharingan was not activated. For Sasuke, he didn't need it. Never had. Never would.

"Do not use Sakura as an excuse to spread hatred," he muttered darkly, uncaring for the shock and disbelief on the younger Uchiha's face. He didn't care that Sasuke fully relaxed in his grip, obviously knowing that he didn't stand a chance. Even though Shisui was considerably weaker at that moment in time, the fact that he didn't activate his Sharingan would put Sasuke on edge, telling him not to fight back. "How many years has it been since you last saw her? Since you started breaking her heart?" It took everything in him not to tighten his grip, for he could see the faint shade of red Sasuke was growing, could sense the unease of the others behind him. "Do not pretend that you care now simply because you're being ruled by your anger and hatred."

He tried to swallow, tried to pull away, but Shisui held on. What that boy needed wasn't gentle words of love and encouragement to guide him back. He needed someone who wasn't afraid of him. Needed someone who was more than capable and willing to knock him back into place. Itachi, despite how desperately he wanted his baby brother back, wouldn't want to hurt him. The same went for his friends. But Shisui knew that it was necessary when fighting the Curse of Hatred. Faltering in the face of it, or feeding the curse, was not an option if they truly wanted Sasuke back. They had to be strong and determined. They had to endure the long battle.

"You are going to be silent while Hyuuga-san finishes her story," Shisui told him, expression cold and unmoving. "If you can't do that, then leave now. I would like to know what we are up against so that I am better prepared when the time comes to rescue Sakura."

"That's enough, Shisui."

He didn't look away from Sasuke's features as they smoothed out, as he hid his emotions. He could sense Itachi drifting closer, more than likely wishing to separate them, but he wisely didn't reach out.

"Why does she matter to you?" Sasuke somehow managed to demand, voice broken and raspy. "You've been gone for years… Y-You don't even know her."

"Don't know her?" he repeated dangerously and his eyes narrowed further. "I know her better than you ever will." When all that was met with him was silence, he released him while saying, "You can either sit down and listen to what Hyuuga-san has to say, without making the things she's been through that much harder, or you can leave. It's your choice." Turning his back on him, Shisui sat down at a respectful distance from the bed, tipping his head at Naruto's grateful smile. "If it is truly Sakura's well being you are concerned about, then by all means, join us."

It seemed Sasuke was still spooked by Shisui's sudden reappearance. When he sat down, it was at an angle that kept the older Uchiha in his line of sight. Shisui could feel his eyes on him, drinking in his features and trying to convince himself that what had happened, was real. The guy who'd disappeared for eight years without a trace had returned and turned on him.

Shaken somewhat by the altercation, Hinata struggled to force out, "S-Sakura-san is-" She cut herself off, losing the words. They all pretended not to hear Sasuke gritting his teeth with annoyance. "There are always… always four – no, five – guards who collect her."

"Collect her?" Naruto asked naïvely.

His question left Hinata unable to meet his eye, her own going to the sleeping bag that was covering her. On the covers, her hands were shaking. Shisui knew they would be shaking for a while.

"To torture her," came Kakashi's quiet answer. "They need that many guards in case she gains access to some chakra."

"That's Sakura-chan for you," the blond said with a proud grin. "Never goes down without a fight. Right, Kakashi-sensei?" Despite the pain in his single eye, the Copy-Nin managed a faint smile, nodding once. Then, turning back to Hinata, he said, "What else?"

Still unable to meet their eyes, Hinata replied weakly, "They return her to the cell hours later – I'm not sure how long." Swallowing hard, she then whispered brokenly with such a haunting expression that it made Shisui's heart hurt, "The states she returns in is… I can never forget it even if I wanted to. They're…"

"Torturing her," Sasuke muttered impatiently. "Get on with it. Did you notice any more guards other than the ones taking you to Danzo?"

"Danzo isn't the one who tortures the captives," she argued, voice quiet. "It's Morino Ibiki – Sakura-san said he's Ino-san's shishou."

Though it'd been a while, the thought of the giant man sent a strong stab of despair straight through Shisui's heart. If it was that man then…

What was going to be left of the woman he'd come to love?

* * *

 **A/N - I wasn't planning on updating, but one of my closest and dearest friends is stuck in the hospital for an unknown amount of time and is in a world of pain. Nena, this chapter is for you. I know you're crazy fast when you read and will finish it in like two minutes, but hopefully it takes your mind off the pain for at least a short while. Please make a full and fast recovery. I love you!**

 **Reviews:**

Pandapandawoah: **Hmm, I'd say it depends on how long the Uchiha men (and Team Seven, obviously) can hold themselves back from a suicide mission, wouldn't you think?**

meisnot: **Thank you so much, it really means a lot.**

Bsmiles123: **It's adorable, isn't it? They've all made such impacts on one another's lives.**

The White Leopard: **Thank you. I'm doing a lot better now that I've taken two weeks off to recover. I recently had a minor operation and when they handed me a sick note for two weeks, I was like psssh, I'm not even in that much pain. Two weeks isn't necessary. But it's given me so much time to just breathe and write again, which I'm grateful for. I even managed to read a few books on the final year's reading list at university.**

 **Thank you to:** Fluttershy 2059123, TheAliceHuntt, Lonely Athena, Guest, yuzukikuran476, DarkSecretKeeper, Salinia, I'm in here, Uchiha Misaki, yaoi4adollar and -Chan **. I'm really grateful for your reviews and it's nice to see both familiar readers and new readers. I hope you all enjoy the story.**


	6. When I'm Constantly Failing You

**Chapter 5 – When I'm Constantly Failing You**

 _Blood flying through the air, splattering onto the ground and on his face, had him rushing forward, scooping briefly to pick up a discarded weapon before he was landing a firm kick to someone's chest, using his senses to pick up on their movements and positions. Then, in the same second, he swung his hand up, kunai mercilessly slicing through his enemy's lungs._

 _Someone's back touched his, the feeling of her shoulders rising and falling rhythmically with her panting making his worry grow._

" _I told you to stay out of this, Shisui," she snapped quietly at him. "You're not ready."_

 _Like he could stand back while she was being hurt. He knew it was her blood that was being spilled, could smell it on his own face. "You can't face them alone, Sakura."_

" _I-" Sakura quickly cut herself off, roughly grabbing his arm and yanking them both out of the way. He heard the sounds of kunai whizzing by them before falling to the ground, not far from where they'd been standing. "Your eyes-"_

" _If I go blind permanently, then so be it." He used her hold on him to spin her around, just barely seeing her features. It was all so dizzyingly blurry, but he could still see the blood on her face. A head wound, he believed. "As long as you make it out of this alive."_

 _While his sight was still bad, he was certain he saw her eyes sadden only a second before she was watching him determinedly, eyebrows knitting together. Surprising Shisui further, she stumbled in her attempt to pull away, but stubbornly, Sakura reached up, wiping the blood from her split lip, never once breaking eye contact even as her hands ran through familiar hand signs, even as she crouched low and murmured, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu."_

 _The giant slug instantly curled around them, spitting out mouthfuls of acid to try and buy them some time._

" _Sakura," he said shakily, trembling hands coming to her face. "You don't have to do this for me."_

 _Gods, she seemed so exhausted. She'd done so much already while trying to protect him. He couldn't ask any more of her._

 _The surprises didn't stop as she suddenly pressed her lips to his, unknowingly fulfilling a desire of his that he'd been imagining for who knows how long now. How many times had he wondered what it would be like to kiss her? To hold her in his arms? It didn't even matter that her split lip was smearing blood over his, especially not when he felt her hand leave his chin, coming to the back of his head._

 _But then he felt that hand connect with a pressure point on the back of his neck, felt his body go limp as he slumped in her loving embrace._

" _You have to live," Sakura told him quietly._

* * *

He woke up panting and sweaty, hands outstretched like she was actually there, her name on his lips like she'd actually hear him. There was a painful feeling in his chest and in response, he grabbed at it, hand over his erratically beating heart. His emotional pain was so great that he didn't even register the burning sensation behind his eyes, the one that told him his trauma was so great that it was causing a manifestation of chakra.

 _You have to live._

"So do you," he whispered brokenly.

Sakura had become such an important part of his life. How long had she been his carer for? How long had she been his friend? His companion? His source of comfort on his darkest days? It was the first time since he met her that Shisui was not seeing her. She was with him every day. To not have her there with him was… It felt like he was missing something. It felt like losing his sight all over again. Terrifying, because he wasn't sure when he'd get her back. Making him feel helpless, because he knew there wasn't a damn thing he could do to save her.

Danzo wouldn't kill her. That much was obvious. Now that Tsunade was dead, Sakura's skills were second to none. If he was going to stand a chance in the oncoming war then Danzo needed those skills. It was quite possibly the only thing keeping her alive. Had it not been for her medical ninjutsu, she would have died as an accomplice to the Uchiha Clan, for she knew far too much and had too many ties to the clan.

"Shisui."

He didn't physically acknowledge Itachi as the man knelt beside his futon. "She should be here."

"I know."

But did he? No, Shisui wasn't blaming his friend. He knew Itachi had orders to follow. Refusing to follow what could possibly be the last orders from his parents was… There was no way to ask that of him. Shisui simply wished Itachi had… What? Tried harder? Sighing with annoyance, he raised his hand, running it down his face roughly. Itachi was trying his hardest to protect everyone at the hideout. He was making the best out of a bad situation.

"Sakura has been a close friend of mine for many years now," Itachi surprised him by saying. Usually, it took more pushing for him to get to the point. "While it may not be the same pain, know that I am also suffering with the thought of her capture."

"We need to do something." It was impossible seeing anything when it was so dark – all candles and torches had been extinguished due to most of the people in the hideout being asleep. Shisui relied on the light to help him decipher shapes and colours. Without it, he couldn't see a damn thing. "Danzo will destroy her mind, Itachi. You know he will."

There were so many people sleeping at that moment in time and while Shisui knew that a great deal of them were not sleeping peacefully, he still envied them. Despite being in a coma for two months, he was exhausted. Was it emotional exhaustion as well as physical? Perhaps. Still, the sounds of their light snoring and deep, even breaths had him breathing out a sigh of jealousy and frustration.

He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when he was told about the hideout many, many years ago. A safe haven, maybe? Not stone cold floors, walls and ceilings, with the only decorations being their clan's emblem engraved or painted onto the stone. The hideout was freezing and the high ceilings didn't help matters. Every time they started a fire, it didn't fully heat the room up because of how big it was.

Whoever had designed the place hadn't been the brightest of men. Where the hell were the toilets and baths? Why were the pantries that were _supposed_ to be filled with supplies, filled with nothing but weaponry? According to Itachi, all the medical, food and other supplies they had were through risky runs to the nearest towns and villages. The hideout only offered them weapons. Sure, they would come in handy one day, but what was the point in having so many weapons if all the people in hiding were dead from pneumonia or starvation?

Had he been the one to create a hideout, then it would be exactly as the name stated: a hideout. Somewhere for people to run to when they needed to stay in hiding, without having to worry about supplies.

Trust his clan to focus solely on weaponry.

Shaking off the negative thoughts, Shisui sat up with a grunt, the effort of his task causing a dull ache throughout his body. Being in an induced coma for two months was not good for a person's body, he decided. It felt like everything was impossibly stiff. The thought of his stiff muscles had Shisui wishing he never got up, as it brought back the memories of when Sakura would massage his aches and pains away. As his carer, it was her duty to ensure he was relaxed and pain free, she'd told him several times. Even something as simple as a cramp or backache was her problem, she'd said.

"Shisui…"

"We need to rescue her," he said, voice gravelly and wavering under the pressure of his emotions.

Unlike before, this time he felt the pain of his eyes, hand reaching to his face and gripping at it.

"Shisui," Itachi warned seriously and leaned forward, easing him back onto the futon. "Do not activate your Sharingan–"

"No," interrupted Shisui coldly as he fought weakly against his friend.

For the first time since he'd known him, however, Itachi managed to overpower him effortlessly. "We will think of a strategy in the morning," he stated calmly. "At this moment in time, you are thinking more with your heart than your head. Rest."

"Itachi," he growled out warningly. It was frustrating beyond belief that he couldn't fight back. Couldn't find his strength.

"Do not argue with me, Shisui. Sakura did not spend the past few months watching your every move and caring for you just for you to undo all of her hard work in a matter of seconds."

He was right. Shisui knew he was one hundred percent right. It didn't lessen any of his negative emotions, though. Didn't ease the vicious aching of his heart whenever he thought about what horrors Sakura was facing. Didn't better their situation.

"We need to get her out of there, Itachi," came his quiet mutter.

His friend nodded solemnly, eyebrows knitting together over troubled eyes. "I know."

* * *

Gods, were the mornings always so cold? He could see his own breath. Many in the hideout chose to remain in their beds with either their sleeping bags zipped all the way to the top, or the blankets brought all the way to their chins. Shisui would have done the same. He would have stayed in bed all damn day as he had no energy at all. The thought of Sakura's captivity had him getting up without hesitation, however. And the thought of the tortures she was no doubt going through had him fighting through the aches of his muscles, because that was nothing, _absolutely nothing_ , compared to what she was experiencing. He couldn't even imagine.

He noticed Sasuke lurking in the background – well, more like sensed his chakra. If Shisui wasn't mistaken, then he was being watched. Closely and indiscreetly. Like he didn't even care about being caught openly staring. He supposed Sasuke had every right to feel wary about his presence. After all, he _had_ suddenly disappeared for eight long years. More than likely, he'd been presumed dead.

"So, you know my student," a voice said to his left.

Halting in his walk towards the opening of the hideout, where he'd been planning on relieving himself, Shisui tilted his head to the side, vaguely recognising the person's outline as Hatake Kakashi's. There were so many people at the hideout that it was impossible to learn everyone's, although he supposed he was doing well so far.

Even though it wasn't said as a question, he nodded once but gave no verbal answer, prompting Kakashi to then say, "You're too emotionally involved for her to simply be your carer. You're more than that to each other, aren't you?"

He appreciated the present tense used in his sentences. Whenever others mentioned her – even Uzumaki Naruto – they always used the past tense unless discussing her current whereabouts or planning on how to rescue her. Deciding that Kakashi deserved his full attention, he sighed and leaned back against the wall, regretting it instantly as the stone was freezing, but not moving away.

"We didn't have the chance to further explore our feelings," he replied quietly.

"Probably for the best," came his even quieter reply and Shisui felt him move towards him, copying his stance. "Had Tsunade-sama found out about it, she would have forced Sakura to step down as your carer. Might've even suspended her from her duties at the hospital. Medics can't be romantically involved with their patients – it's not just frowned upon, it's one of the strictest rules in the hospital."

Which was why Sakura fought so hard against 'them'. Gods, he felt awful for pushing her, for making her break her oath.

"Don't fret over it," Kakashi told him, chuckling once. "Sakura is an impossible woman to ignore. She'll break you in half just for considering ignoring her."

That… It didn't sound like his Sakura. Not entirely. Yes, she had a temper, but the only times it was ever displayed was when his clan turned on him, when they heard the hateful whispers or felt their piercing glares. Not once had she ever been angry with him. Not once had she ever handled him too roughly. Every touch, every gesture, had been filled with tenderness. To him, she was as delicate as her namesake.

"It was peaceful," he confided in the older man. "Being with her, I mean."

That seemed to amuse him greatly, for Kakashi suddenly laughed. "Peaceful? Are you sure we're talking about the same Sakura?"

The words didn't have him bristling like he thought they would. "Her presence was soothing, something that was definitely needed when…"

As his sentence trailed off, Kakashi sighed, patting him once on the shoulder. "She's always been the mother hen of Team Seven, I suppose. Not to the same extent as with you, but…" Shisui could hear the smile in his voice at his next words, as he said, "She's always been a completely different person when falling in love."

It was impossible to smile back, the pain in his chest and eyes too great. She'd fallen in love with him – or was falling for him. It devastated him that she was taken from him, that she might not even be the same Sakura when she returned. What would he do if that was the case?

"Try not to worry too much – our Sakura is a fighter," Kakashi told him seriously, the hand on his shoulder squeezing comfortingly. "We _will_ get her back."

But what would be left of her?

* * *

"Well?" came an angered, loud demand. "What's the plan? I'm sure as hell not staying cooped up in this place any longer while Sakura-chan's locked away in some dungeon with that creepy-"

"Breathe, Naruto," sighed Kakashi, cutting him off.

The boy was red in the face, returning to his pacing as he ran trembling hands through his hair. Last night, he hadn't seemed worried in the slightest, proclaiming that his Sakura-chan was too strong to be broken. She'd hold onto her fierce nature just to spite Danzo. Now, however, it seemed the sinister reality of the situation had dawned on him and he couldn't help but panic. Shisui wondered who'd gotten to him the most. The state of Hyuuga Hinata, who was currently sitting against a wall, heavily bandaged and still in a great amount of pain, or Sasuke and his vengeful words.

"He has a point," Genma replied and he straddled a chair (they'd apparently recently acquired), arms coming to rest on the back of it. "Sakura's now the number one medic not just in Konoha, but the world. Danzo will do anything to have her fighting on his side."

"Especially considering she knows Godaime-sama's forbidden jutsu," Neji added. He was on Hinata's left, whereas the other Hyuuga (Hanabi, Shisui had later learned) was on her right. "Although many underestimate her, she is, in fact, a powerful asset."

"Damn right she is," snapped Naruto both with pride and fear. It was an odd mixture to semi-witness. "I don't give a shit what anyone has to say." Even Shisui could tell his glare was directed in Sasuke's direction and he wondered why. The night before, he'd been all for saving Sakura, also admitting she was a great asset. Had that not always been the case? "And I need Sakura-chan by my side when we take back Konoha – Team Seven needs to be whole again when it happens. I didn't get that bastard back just to lose her."

He was more muttering to himself than anyone else, but his anger was a cause of concern for many, Shisui noted. Did they have reason to fear his rampant emotions? Was his seal weak? How easily was the Kyuubi able to gain control? Even with Itachi's eyes being as powerful as they were, he knew it was important to be wary of the jinchūriki. The Kyuubi was the strongest tailed beast of them all. It was also the most hate filled. To underestimate its ability to take control was a mistake they wouldn't even be able to regret, for it would surely slaughter them all.

"And it will be," Kakashi replied and stood in front of the blond, forcing him to come to a stop in his pacing. Shisui wondered what expression was on the Copy-Nin's face (not only because of his sight, but also because his back was to him), for whatever it was, it was enough to calm Naruto somewhat. "It's what this meeting is all about, Naruto: how we're going to save Sakura."

He nodded, assessing them all critically. "We're going to need more people."

"Stronger people," Sasuke muttered from his corner. "It doesn't matter how many people we have – we need them to be stronger. What we have now won't even put a dent in ROOT's forces."

At least he was smarter than he used to be, Shisui thought. When he was a kid, Sasuke had been adamant that nobody could defeat his beloved older brother. But now he knew that even Itachi wouldn't stand a chance against ROOT – not by himself, at least. Yes, he was a powerful kid – well, man now, he supposed – but even Itachi had his weaknesses and limits, his stamina being one of the biggest weaknesses.

Speaking of Itachi, he glanced over in his direction, not for the first time wishing he had his sight back completely. It was a pain trying to guess what expression people were wearing. Were they angry? Thoughtful? Shisui was guessing that Itachi was brooding (his usual stoic expression, in other words), but it was difficult to tell. For the time being, he was simply sitting in and listening to their complaining and flawed plots to rescue Sakura, neither piping up with ideas of his own or showing any interest in theirs. Just taking it all in.

"A Byakugan user will be beneficial," Hanabi stated and then looked to her cousin, Neji. "Your eyes see much further than my own, however."

"You should stay with Hinata-sama," he agreed with a nod.

Yes, the Byakugan would give them an advantage, however there was the possibility that Danzo was expecting that. They had to go in with the assumption that Danzo had somehow warded the place against their eyes. He was no idiot, after all. He was a remarkable strategist – which was what made the night of the attack so much harder to believe. Danzo always thought several steps ahead, always had seemingly flawless plans. One didn't get as far as Danzo without working for it or deserving it.

"I'm definitely going with you," Naruto exclaimed. "I'm definitely going to get Sakura-chan back."

There was no advantage to taking the jinchūriki with them, Shisui decided. They needed him too much when taking back Konoha, not to mention the mission to retrieve Sakura required a great level of stealth. It was frustrating, but Shisui understood that even he would not be capable of joining the others in saving her. In his current state he was more or less useless as a shinobi. To go with them would put all their lives at risk, including Sakura's and he couldn't allow that to happen.

"You?" Sasuke snorted. " _You_ are going to sneak into ROOT's headquarters and retrieve Sakura without starting a single fight or making any noise? Idiot–"

"Who the hell are you calling an idiot, bastard?"

"You may have gotten stronger, but you're a pitiful excuse of a shinobi," came his harsh response. "You couldn't be stealthy even if your life depended on it and right now, _hers_ depends on that stealth. Sending you will only cause a disaster."

Again, Naruto was red in the face and Shisui could sense the building anger from his place across the meeting room, which was just a small way away from the main hall of the hideout, where everyone else was currently sitting obliviously. Naruto's anger was more intense than earlier, he noticed. His anger at that moment in time had him shaking, had him gritting his teeth and biting back a feral growl.

"So what do you suggest, huh?" he snarled and Shisui was stunned as he felt a suffocating killing intent fill the room. So _that_ was the Kyuubi's power? "Send someone who doesn't really know or care about her? Someone who sees her as _just an asset_?" He was yelling now, gripping Sasuke's shirt and yanking him to his feet, shaking him roughly. "Someone like _you? Huh?"_

The youngest Uchiha grabbed the hands holding him, pinching the nerves but once he realised it wouldn't break the hold, he activated his Sharingan, staring Naruto down coldly. The blurred sight had Shisui sitting up in his seat, had him squinting to try and see better. Was Sasuke capable of controlling the Kyuubi? How powerful was his Sharingan? From the stories he'd heard while living with Sakura, he was guessing it was pretty powerful, but where did it stand compared to Itachi's or his father's? To his own?

"I'm better suited for the mission," Sasuke muttered. "You're too much of a liability."

Sasuke _did_ have a point there and Shisui could tell the others knew that, too. Unlike Naruto, who was loud and easy to detect, the Uchiha was capable of sneaking around, he could use his Sharingan to place any witnesses under genjutsu, either wiping the memories of him from their mind or stalling them long enough to escape, all the while leaving no evidence of his being there. Naruto, on the other hand, could not. From what he'd learned of the boy: he had no skills in genjutsu.

"You're a liability, too," Genma said without hesitation, mouth fiddling with a senbon. "You're too consumed by your hatred and more likely to go after Danzo."

"You-"

"He's right, Sasuke," Kakashi argued. "It's different for Itachi-san because he's level-headed. Shisui-san understands that he's not capable of going against Danzo just yet, so wouldn't even consider it should he spot an opening. You, however, can be just as rash as Naruto."

He stopped fighting Naruto's grip, turning his glare on the Copy-nin as he muttered coldly, "Stop talking like you're still my sensei."

"Stop talking like a spoiled, cocky brat," he said just as coldly, straightening up. "You've abandoned Sakura before, what's to say you won't do it again? She's going to need a group not only to defend her, but understand her, too. Like you said: she's going to be receiving the worst kind of torture for resisting Danzo and helping Hinata escape. There's no telling what state Sakura will be in when we find her."

The glare intensified, seeming more daunting due to the fact Sasuke's Sharingan was activated. Shisui didn't feel the need to intervene as he had the night before, for he knew Hatake Kakashi was one of Konoha's greatest prodigies. Sasuke didn't stand a chance against him – not yet, anyway. Besides, the kid wasn't using Sakura to spread hatred now. They were simply fighting over who got to be her saviour. Knowing Sakura the way he did, she would probably be blushing over the attention she was receiving, asking them to stop but not truly meaning it.

"The Hokage's guard should go," Genma's teammate, Raidō, intervened. "We know all secret passages and tunnels, not to mention we are capable of using the Yondaime's jutsu, should we need to transport Sakura-san away while we fight. We can leave markings here."

 _That_ was more like it. It also meant less travelling in her weakened, unstable state – if that was her state. Should they find it difficult to escape, they could transport her to them and then fight to their–

No. They couldn't risk their lives for hers. Sakura would never forgive them, would never forgive him for allowing it. He couldn't expect anyone to give their lives to save her, even though his heart was screaming at him to do so.

"I'm going," Sasuke pushed, narrowing his red and black eyes on them.

"Sasuke."

They all turned to face the older brother when he finally got involved and as he stood to his full height, towering over him, they saw a sliver of uncertainty show in Sasuke's eyes (only for a split second before he went back to glaring at him).

"You can't stop me, Itachi," he said darkly. "You might be a coward who runs at the first sight of trouble, but I'm not."

What? "Itachi? A coward?" Shisui couldn't help but intervene, laughing at the absurdity of it all. "He faced more battles throughout a single year of his childhood than you will ever face in a lifetime, kid." He wasn't even ashamed of the sting of condescension in his tone. Who the hell did Sasuke think he was calling his brother a coward? Was he even aware of how far Itachi would go for him? Of how much he would give up without hesitation? "Itachi is-"

"A fucking coward," he snarled in his direction, though didn't look at him. Was he still unnerved by his presence? Still torn between obeying and respecting him, or despising him in the same way the clan had since his return? "Instead of fighting alongside our clan, _our parents_ , you ran away. You left them all to die. _You left our parents to die!_ "

Ignoring his outburst, Itachi stared him down, stating calmly, "You are not going back to Konoha, Sasuke."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do," yelled Sasuke, voice trembling with his rage.

"I will go myself," he murmured seriously and in that moment, Shisui saw what he'd always seen in Itachi: a true leader. Someone to admire and respect. Someone with so much power already, yet so much more that had yet to be tapped into. They all knew not to take his words lightly or believe them to be arrogant. He meant every single one of them. "I will save Haruno Sakura."

* * *

 **A/N - Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuun.**

 **Reviews:**

The White Leopard: **How was the possessiveness in this chapter? ;-) And thank you, she's doing much better now and I'll make sure to pass on your regards.**

I'm in here: **Thank you so much. She's out of the hospital now, which is a good sign. I'll pass on your regards. As for Sasuke, wouldn't you say he has every right to be concerned? Though, saying that, I suppose he doesn't. Like Kakashi said in this chapter: he's abandoned her before. Only time will tell with Sakura, I'm afraid. Will she even be able to fight after all she's been through? Will she be even stronger? Will she be able to function at all? Who knows?**

Bsmile123: **It's so much fun writing Shisui this way, you know. Like, I know in the anime or the manga or whatever, that he preferred not to choose sides and instead remain neutral, but... He's an Uchiha who's in love and his love is currently banged up in a cell with Morino Ibiki screwing around in her head. He's bound to have zero patience for Sasuke's bullshit hahah.**

 **Thank you to** yaoi4adollar, XxTaintedxDaggerxX, wowshutup, TheAliceHuntt, Guest, DarkSecretKeeper, Sakuraqueen, Revanchist21 **and** Uchiha Misaki **for your really kind reviews.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**


	7. It's Gone On For Too Long

**Chapter 6 – It's Gone On For Too Long**

It was going to be risky. Impossibly risky. Wishing to keep that risk to himself, Itachi had decided to go alone, taking only his best weapons with him: his eyes.

More than anything, Shisui wanted to accompany him. It didn't matter how old he was or how powerful he was. Itachi was still a kid brother to him, was still an important person in his life. Knowing that he was going straight into ROOT's headquarters, where Danzo would slaughter him without hesitation, brought forth a suffocating weight to his chest, had him feeling so anxious that Shisui was nearly sick.

Itachi was an intimidating man. Watching him leave the hideout with only a minimal amount of weapons and his Sharingan activated, like he didn't even need anything else to get the job done, left many in a state of awe – his brother included. The second Itachi left, Shisui didn't fail to notice the way Sasuke's eyes continuously trailed over to the entrance of the hideout, didn't fail to notice how he remained seated at the opening like a child who was left behind.

 _That_ was the Sasuke he remembered.

Sighing, Shisui focused on the ground as he made his way over to him, trying to decipher the uneven terrain as it reached the mouth of the hideout. Appearing as just an ordinary cave, the ground was bumpy with large rocks protruding from it, giving it the impression that it was inhabitable. It was one of few entrances, but the main entrance was blocked off, like the hideout had already been discovered and destroyed so that no Uchiha could hide there. Itachi's idea, he'd told him when Shisui asked. Just a precaution.

It had been a few days since Itachi decided to go alone and during that time, several of the others had attempted to change his mind, saying they wished to aid him in rescuing Sakura. Shisui got the impression that it was not Sakura they wished to save, but Itachi. They didn't want anything to happen to their fearless leader.

"He's always been like that," Shisui said lightly as he stood beside Sasuke's seated position. The younger Uchiha didn't look away from the entrance, didn't acknowledge him in the slightest or give any indication of acknowledging him any time soon. "Shouldering the burden alone, I mean."

"He's an idiot," came Sasuke's gruff response.

"I can't argue with that." Breathing out another weighty sigh, Shisui reached for the wall, holding onto it while slowly sitting next to him. Finally, he had Sasuke's attention, could feel his eyes glued to his movements until he was safely sitting without risk of being harmed. It had Shisui biting back a smile. "So," he began quietly, senses stretching out to ensure they were alone. "Are you going to explain why you're so angry with your older brother?"

There was no response other than looking away again.

He wouldn't open up to him if others were around or capable of listening in. Sasuke was too much like his brother in that regard – both like their father, in fact. He'd need to know that they were truly alone.

"Sasuke," Shisui said with a sigh. "Itachi was following orders that night. You know that."

"He's always following orders," he snapped in reply, though didn't raise his voice. Again, his dark eyes were focused intensely on the forest below the cave, narrowing at the breeze that blew through the trees. "There's going to be a storm tonight."

"Oh?"

Sasuke nodded once, but didn't elaborate on how he knew such a thing. Perhaps his affinity was lightning? Could lightning users sense when a storm was coming? It didn't seem possible, but in the past few months Shisui had learned that anything was possible, even time travel.

"Your parents ordered Itachi to save you," he tried again. "He would never go against a direct order from them."

"If he had, they would be here with us." Sasuke's voice had lowered considerably, wavering with his emotions.

It nearly had Shisui sighing again. Poor kid. Had he even experienced the death of a loved one before? And to suddenly lose not only his parents, but an entire clan… While not impossible, it was difficult to understand how he was feeling. It all happened at once for him, whereas Shisui had lost his parents a while back.

"We could've gone back for them. Could've fought alongside them. We-"

"You weren't there, Sasuke," Shisui said more seriously, trying to focus on the forest even when the younger Uchiha's eyes snapped to his face. "There were too many of them even for our clan to handle – and we had outside support from others, too. Anyone who got involved was killed or called a traitor to Konoha. Danzo even killed the Hokage and anyone who tried to assist her."

Leaning back on his hands, he shut his eyes, breathing in the fresh air deeply. It was hard to believe how much he'd missed something as simple as that. After being held captive in Katsuyu's body for over two months, he'd awoken in a hideout he hadn't been able to leave unless it was to relieve himself and even then, they had to leave with others and go at set times, just in case anybody was watching or planned to attack them at their most vulnerable. To merely sit half outside with just the two of them, with a storm brewing in the distance, was refreshing.

"Did you see them?" Sasuke asked, voice almost inaudible. Then, like he suddenly realised what he'd asked, he said, "I didn't-"

"It's fine," Shisui assured him and smirked slightly. "I'm not completely blind – Sakura made sure of that." Tilting his head to the side, he allowed him to take in the sight of his eyes, to notice that they weren't entirely focused or meeting his eye. "To answer your question: yes, I came across your parents. They made an opening for Sakura and myself to escape from Danzo and his operatives."

"Danzo…" He sounded like he was going to be sick. "Mother fought…?"

"Don't underestimate your mother, Sasuke." It felt wrong lying to him, like his skin was crawling and he felt sick to his stomach, but what was he supposed to do? Tell the truth? Tell the kid his parents were both more than likely dead and had their eyes stolen? How was he supposed to tell an obviously already unstable boy that? "She was our matriarch for a reason."

It wasn't out of love that Fugaku and Mikoto were together, although it did eventually develop into love. How could it not when they created two children together? Granted, there didn't have to be love to create another life, but Shisui had seen the couple interact when they thought no one was watching. He'd seen Fugaku put his life on the line to protect his wife and had witnessed Mikoto defend him with everything she had.

It didn't start with love, but it ended with it. In the end it was their love for their children that had them fighting Danzo and his ROOT operatives head on, creating a distraction for Itachi and Sasuke to escape. No doubt Danzo would have wanted to fight Itachi himself. He wouldn't leave such a formidable opponent to his operatives. They knew that and it was that knowledge that had them fighting their hardest to keep Danzo's attention on them, rather than their sons.

"Your parents made the brave decision to face Danzo," Shisui continued gently. "They wanted to protect you both."

"But Itachi-"

"Itachi was only following orders, Sasuke. He knew what it meant to follow those orders, that they were sacrificing themselves to save you both. There was nothing he could do to prevent that outcome." He glanced up at the ceiling of the cave, trying to make out the grooves and spikes. They'd done a good job of making it seem inhabitable and intimidating. Only a fearless fool would try to stay there. "Don't you think he is suffering enough without your anger piled on top of his grief? They were his parents, too. While he doesn't always show it, he loves them just as much as you do. And he has to live with the decision he was forced to make – to run instead of fighting with them. Itachi is a powerful man, Sasuke. You already know this. He knows it, too. It will be weighing on him that he didn't offer his strength to them that night, knowing that he could have made a difference if they combined their strengths."

Sasuke was unable to meet his eye when Shisui looked back to him, once more focusing on the trees. Like the weather was responding to his mood, a heavy rain started and part of Shisui was grateful for that, as it would help in covering Itachi's tracks should he grow sloppy (it didn't seem possible, but he would feel desperate to return Sakura to them – even someone like Itachi could make mistakes).

"Can he do it?"

The question was spoken so quietly that he almost missed it and in response, he sighed. "He won't stop until he does. Sakura is just as much his friend as she is yours, Sasuke. Your leaving brought them together, their love for you forming an unbreakable friendship. All these years, they just wanted you home. They shared their pain and heartbreak, opening up to each other in ways I never thought possible for Itachi."

"And you?" he asked. "I know she was your carer, but why are you so close to Sakura all of a sudden? I know she wouldn't grow that close to all her patients. She…" Dark eyes narrowed fractionally and for a moment, he was certain Sasuke wouldn't continue, but he did so with a sigh, muttering, "Her heart isn't fickle like many believe it is."

That was the Sasuke she'd fallen for, wasn't it? The Sasuke Itachi missed dearly. Beneath that tough, angry exterior, he was lost and vulnerable and because he felt that way, his anger and hatred was multiplied. He didn't want anyone to see how vulnerable he really was.

"No, it isn't," agreed Shisui.

"But she loves you now."

Why did he feel guilty all of a sudden? "We were talking about Itachi, weren't we?" he said lightly, trying to lighten the tension. "He'll bring her back, Sasuke."

"He's still an idiot," came his quiet words.

There was no malice behind them. Shisui could feel the concern radiating from him even though Sasuke tried his hardest to hide it.

Smiling faintly, for he could feel the same worry, he looked out at the forest. "Aa."

* * *

It had been a day and a half since Itachi left. If he was calculating correctly, then that meant he was close to Konoha. He wouldn't go in straight away. Knowing Itachi, he would survey the area for a while, thinking of the best way to get in and out without being detected.

After their talk, Sasuke had remained by his side, deciding without saying a word about it that he would assist Shisui. He simply went from staring at him from across the hall to standing beside him, acting as his eyes. It was definitely useful having someone like Sasuke around, Shisui admitted. Instead of being forced to stay in his bed all night, he was able to move around with Sasuke's assistance.

They chose to sit in the opening of the cave on the first night, watching the storm as the thunder roared in the dark sky, the flashes of lightning somehow soothing Sasuke as he watched it closely. While he was a lot different from the child he'd once known, there were still some traces of the old Sasuke in there. With no one else around to witness his show of emotion, he waited loyally and with obvious concern for his older brother's return. Shisui hoped it meant that it was a turning point for him. No, the Curse of Hatred wouldn't have been broken so easily, but it was a start. It meant there was still something left to salvage.

They hadn't spoken much during the storm. They were comfortable sitting in silence together.

On the second night, when the storm didn't let up, Sasuke spoke more. Asked Shisui about his disappearance and what happened during those eight years, growing pensive when his story was explained to him. Like Itachi, he didn't seem to believe it completely, the two brothers both knowing that he was only telling them half of it. In all honesty, Shisui himself only knew half of the story. He was still trying to understand what happened and why.

Two others joined them on the third night and for the first few hours, he'd been certain that Sasuke would leave. So far, he'd only lowered his guards around Shisui. To lower them around others so soon after letting another in was too much for him. However, because Itachi was due to return shortly (he would be travelling faster if he had succeeded in breaking Sakura out), he refused to leave, even if the comfortable silence was no longer there.

The other two had every right to be there – Sakura _was_ their teammate, after all. They loved her, too. But Shisui couldn't help but feel like he had to share her with them now. Before the attack, it'd been them. Just them in their own little world, only occasionally going outside to face others. Now that they were at the hideout, there was no privacy. Their world, their bubble, had been popped.

Did Sasuke harbour any feelings for Sakura? That was his main concern. _But she loves you now_. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He knew of her love for him and as much as it stung to admit it, Shisui didn't know what tense to use when it came to her feelings for Sasuke. Was it past or present? How would she feel seeing him again? Would it bring old feelings to the surface?

And what about Sasuke? Did he return those feelings? Would he fight for her if he did? He'd broken her heart before – several times. But he'd broken Itachi's also, despite clearly loving his brother. Like many Uchiha before him, Sasuke was unable to control his emotions. He tried to hide them, to appear as emotionless, but the truth was, was that he was an emotional kid. That was why he was so angry all the time, Shisui believed. He didn't want to be like that and it made him angry.

As though it wasn't bad enough that Sasuke could possibly have feelings for the girl he'd come to love, it was painfully obvious that Naruto loved her, too. The fact that nothing had happened despite being teammates since they were twelve offered him little comfort. Feelings developed over time – a fact proven by Uchiha Fugaku and Mikoto. Sometimes the best relationships started out as friendships, building something wonderful on that sturdy foundation.

"Do you think he's got her?" asked Naruto when the silence grew too much for him. His voice was low, his outward appearance nothing how it'd been the other day when he demanded to save her himself. Instead of pumped up and determined, Naruto was reserved. Almost too quiet. The total opposite of what he'd been told about his personality.

He hoped so. More than anything. Shisui wanted them both back by his side, wanted them to remain there so he could make sure nothing ever happened to his two precious people. Of course, he understood that in a world like theirs, that wasn't possible. He would lose them both one day, or they would lose him. It was selfish, but he hoped it was the latter. How would he cope with the loss of a man who was like his brother? How would he live without the woman he'd come to love and depend on so greatly? Just the thought made him feel sick.

"I wouldn't underestimate his abilities," Kakashi answered when no one else would.

To do so was a foolish mistake. Many thought the Uchiha Clan relied heavily on their eyes – which, granted, many of them did. However, Itachi was so much more than his Sharingan. It was his intelligence, his strategies, that made him a problematic opponent.

The sounds of footsteps approaching from behind had their strained conversation growing silent, had Naruto glancing over his shoulder and offering a small smile.

"Neji."

The Hyuuga looked out at the pouring rain, Byakugan activated as he stood in front of them all with his back to them, arms remaining by his sides. "My eyes can see further. If you wish to rest, I will inform you when they are close."

It was disheartening to know they weren't even close. He'd heard all about how far Neji's eyes could see – an impressive twelve miles, that distance only growing greater.

Shisui glanced in Sasuke's direction and knowing he would refuse to leave, he answered for them both, "We're staying until Itachi and Sakura's return."

"Us too."

"Very well."

The silence resumed, each of them feeling unsettled the longer it took for Itachi to return with Sakura. Many in the hideout came to join them in their wait. A few of the civilian women had prepared a room for the wounded (Hinata and possibly Sakura), along with food and tea, whereas the Hokage's guard were readying themselves to go out and search for the pair, just in case anything had happened and they found themselves unable to continue travelling. They'd already left several hidden marks throughout the hideout in preparation.

Tensions were running high. By his side, Sasuke remained still, but he could sense the change in his demeanour, could tell just by Naruto's second glance that he'd activated his Sharingan. It wouldn't grant him the same abilities as Neji's, but he could detect movement. It was probably only activated due to his emotional stress, however. It took a while to stop that from happening – hell, before he'd left, Itachi _still_ struggled with it at times.

"They're close."

Neji's words had them all on their feet within a second, had Shisui nodding once in thanks when Kakashi made his footing louder to give him an indication where to stand. Following the Copy-Nin's example, he took the leap from the opening of the cave, grimacing at his awkward landing. Had it not been so dark-

No. He wouldn't make excuses. He would train instead and fix those weaknesses. His blindness had already boosted his other senses, mainly his sense of smell and hearing. What else could it do for him?

They came to a stop in a clearing and Shisui's breath caught in his throat as Itachi darted out of the trees with a motionless body in his arms, one he was keeping covered in his own cloak.

The sight of his love was almost enough to make him miss the fact that Itachi was being followed. Almost.

Rushing forward, he waited until Itachi and Sakura were behind him before breathing in deeply, his fireball jutsu no longer needing him to weave any seals or mutter the words as it roared through the space between him and the ROOT operatives, the sheer expanse of it refusing to allow any of them through. They couldn't counter it, couldn't get around or through it. All they could do was wait.

Time was a luxury he didn't give to them.

It didn't take long to finish them off and Shisui was critical of how sloppy his transportation jutsu was without his Sharingan. Without his eyes, he couldn't travel at the same high speeds as he previously could for he couldn't read any responding movements. It was too risky. Still, it was enough to dispose of the ROOT operatives.

"Sakura-chan," he heard Naruto's worried shout.

Turning, despite his heart warning him not to, he saw the outline of Itachi's body, saw him holding Sakura close to his chest. Sasuke was already standing in front of him, as were Kakashi and Naruto, but he wouldn't allow them to touch her. When Naruto moved to pull the collar of the cloak away from her features, Itachi moved, pulling her further away.

"Do not."

Shisui's eyes weren't the only ones to narrow, his heart dropping when Kakashi murmured, "They used _that_ interrogation tactic."

"So it would seem."

"What interrogation tactic?" demanded Naruto angrily, visibly shaking. They could tell he was assuming the worst, but they couldn't blame him for it.

"It is used mainly on females," Kakashi explained gruffly and his hands balled into fists, entering his pockets roughly. "A way to play tricks on their minds and create an unbearable paranoia."

"Was she actually ra-"

"Not that I can tell," Itachi cut off Sasuke's question.

He was grateful for not seeing the details for once. Just that morning – hell, the second Neji picked up on their presence, Shisui had longed to see Sakura's features again. He wanted to see those pretty green eyes that he'd fallen victim to, even though he'd only seen the colour and no details. What state was she in? He could only see colours.

There was so much red.

"We should get her inside," Itachi continued and it was only then that they noticed his heavy breathing, the shaking of his limbs. No doubt he'd run without taking a break, trying to lose the operatives instead of fighting them head on. His main concern would have been Sakura's safety. "She has a fever."

"There's a civilian medic inside," said Kakashi. "He can take a look at her."

Shisui remained frozen in his place, his senses being assaulted by the disgusting scent of Sakura's blood, ears focused entirely on her laboured breathing and quiet whimpers. By his sides, his hands shook. His stomach was in knots, like he was about to throw up.

For the first time since losing his sight, he was glad he could not see.

"Shisui," came Itachi's quiet order. "I will need your assistance."

Assistance with what? What exactly could he do for her in his state? He couldn't carry her – what if he tripped? Couldn't care for her wounds – what if he misdiagnosed something and treated it wrongly? He couldn't even hold her – what if he failed to see an injury and then added to her pain?

 _What could he do for her?_

"You're exhausted," Sasuke murmured to his brother, surprising him briefly. "I'll take her."

But Itachi hesitated, his hands twitching on her body. "I-"

"It's the least I can do for her," he muttered and dropped his gaze to her face. "For both of you."

Shisui felt Itachi's gaze flicker to him, though couldn't tell if it was out of confusion for Sasuke's flipped personality, or wary of handing his love over to another man, one Sakura had once loved with all her heart. It didn't matter which it was. A minute later and he was allowing Sasuke to take her from him, angling his body in a way that allowed him to fix the cloak over her more securely without others seeing her body.

And they were all stunned at how gently Sasuke handled her.

* * *

Hinata had left the room when Sakura was placed in the second bed, barely managed to muffle her sob as she left. In her eyes, it was her fault why Sakura was in such a state. How could she not think that way after Sasuke's accusations? After Kakashi had confirmed that Danzo wouldn't let her escape go lightly?

There was little privacy in the makeshift medical room. When she first arrived and was placed on the bed, Sasuke left long enough for Neji's friend (Tenten, Shisui thought her name to be) to dress Sakura, but then everyone piled inside once she was done. Sorry, she'd apologised when they took in her indecency. There were too many open wounds on her body to cover with clothing that might not have been washed. The medic needed to see to them first.

It aggravated Shisui that the other men lingered while Sakura was so indecent. Granted, her most intimate areas were covered, but that was beside the point. All she was wearing was a sports bra and a pair of underwear. They shouldn't be in the room – _he_ shouldn't even be in the room. But… How was he supposed to leave her alone? Not once had Sakura left his side while he recovered. It was his turn to take care of her.

Swallowing at the smell of so much blood, Shisui stepped closer to her motionless body, standing opposite Itachi for a moment before he knelt. He could feel each of their curious stares but refused to acknowledge them, dark eyes straining to focus on her face.

When that failed, he asked in a low whisper, "What does she look like?"

Tenten left at his question, breathing out shakily and covering her mouth as she did so.

"You-"

"Don't say I don't want to know," he cut Naruto off, though didn't raise his voice in the slightest.

"She's filthy," Sasuke responded without hesitation. He ignored the rough elbow shoved into his rib cage. "Hair's matted and nearly red entirely – it'll have to be cut." Shisui nodded and reached out, touching the ends of her hair while shutting his eyes. It felt disgusting. She always took pride in her hair, he recalled easily. Always boasting about how fast it was growing and how luscious it felt with her new shampoo. Would she be upset if it was cut off? "Looks like she's been choked a few times."

He was glad his back was to them as he felt her neck, for the feeling of the rope burns had his eyes stinging despite them being closed (the torture wasn't used as much anymore and it shook him Danzo was still using such tactics – tormenting the captive with the thought of dying, of cutting the noose just before death claimed them). Some of the wounds were fresh and he could feel a worrying substance coming from a few of them – probably an infection. It didn't feel like blood, anyway. Would the medic be able to heal those wounds? He was only a civilian, therefore couldn't use chakra to heal her. Was medicine enough?

"She doesn't have that many worrying injuries, but…"

Hesitantly, Shisui opened his eyes, blinking a few times to try and rid himself of the tears he refused to admit were there. He pretended not to notice the tension in the air as his hand drifted lower, skimming over the valley between her breasts. There was nothing pleasurable about it like he'd always thought there would be, just pain. Even with his sight, he could see her skin was darkening in colour – bruises, perhaps a few cuts.

"Two inches lower," it filled him with dread to hear the mutter, like Sasuke couldn't raise his voice. "You won't be able to see it – there's too much blood. They…"

He didn't need to say it as his fingers met the awful feeling of her blood. It must have been why he could smell her blood so strongly, because there was so much of it. Almost pouring down her sides, soaking the bed beneath her and going beneath her back, filling her belly button.

But that wasn't what caught his attention.

It was what was beneath the blood.

"No." Like Sasuke, he couldn't raise his voice. Didn't even register the breaking of his voice.

"Shisui," murmured Itachi.

The tears finally fell, though they felt thicker than before. Like the blood oozing from her abdomen.

It was like everything zeroed in on what they had done to her, like it was all he could see as everything came into focus, as a searing pain flared in his head.

"Shisui," Itachi said more seriously, voice louder. "Deactivate your Mangekyō. You will undo all of Sakura's hard work."

"Yeah," Naruto added. He sounded slightly panicked, probably because of the killing intent that seemed to radiate from him. "And then she'll kick your ass for it, y'know."

He didn't care.

He couldn't even hear them.

All he could focus on was the Uchiha emblem deeply engraved on her abdomen.

* * *

 **A/N - The response for this story has been amazing so far! It makes me so excited about updating as soon as I finish the next chapter. I usually like to wait at least a week or two before updating again, but your responses have been amazing. Sadly, I don't have time to reply to reviews, as I have work in half an hour and another story to update. I promise to reply to your reviews to the last chapter and this one in the next update. For now, thank you all so much for your wonderful responses! It makes updating so much more fun when I know there's people out there really enjoying my story. Thank you!**


	8. Take A Look Into My Eyes

**Chapter 7 – Take A Look Into My Eyes**

 _There was no time to focus on her heartbreak. No time to grieve for the death of her shishou and sibling disciple, or worry about how Shisui_ or _his body would cope in Katsuyu's world._

 _Breathing deeply as the wind tore through her hair, Sakura continued to travel at high speeds, stretching her senses to try and find that one person. There were battles going on all around her, but it seemed many of them were ending with surrender. It was the wisest choice in their situation, for not every shinobi in their village could fight against ROOT – not when their numbers were so great, anyway._

 _If she wasn't mistaken, both Kakashi and Naruto were out of the village. The former was on a mission with Gai and Anko to try and gather information about the upcoming war, whereas Naruto was away training. She didn't even know where Itachi was but that wasn't unusual. He was always away on highly classified missions. However, she couldn't help but feel if they were there, it could've made a difference. With her boys there, they could've stood a chance in fighting Danzo. By herself…_

 _No. She couldn't think like that._

 _Expression setting into a mask of grim determination, Sakura came a sudden halt, green eyes narrowing on the sight before her as she knelt, chakra levels dropping so she wouldn't be discovered. Danzo was there. Walking around with that cane again, although she was fairly certain it was only for show just like those bandages probably were. Maybe it was wrong of her to judge another, especially about something as serious as being injured, but… Sakura knew what it was like to be underestimated in battle. She knew that it always gave her the upper hand because they never expected much from a pink haired, petite girl. What would one think of an old man wrapped in bandages and walking with a cane? They wouldn't expect much from him, that was for sure._

"Go after the runners _," she heard him order of his operatives. "_ And bring me Uchiha Sasuke."

 _Sasuke?_

 _Her grip on the building's edge tightened, heart palpitating with fear. Had Shisui been right? Was Danzo the one who attacked Sasuke? What was he going to do to him? Why did he want him outside? He had chakra restraints on. His Sharingan was sealed. He was defenceless. Completely at his mercy._

 _She couldn't allow that._

 _Shifting her grip, Sakura used the building to add more momentum to her leap as she shot through the air, fist clenching and humming with chakra. However, just as she was certain the punch would connect, Danzo stepped to the side, leaving her to fall gracelessly to the ground in a last minute attempt to stop any further destruction of the village._

 _Distance was quickly put between them and by the time Sakura was up and on her feet, Danzo was surrounded by his operatives. The only face she could see was Danzo's due to the rest of them being covered in masks and cloaks and it terrified her how similar they looked to ordinary ANBU. There was no way to tell the difference – not to her, anyway. Just how many were her enemy in the village? How many were on their side? Who could she trust?_

 _Gods, she could've done with Kakashi or Itachi fighting on her side. Their experience and strengths would've been a huge advantage for her – for all of them._

" _It looks as though I won't have to go through the effort of finding you," Danzo said, voice low and gravelly. She gritted her teeth at his air of superiority because like hell he would ever be her superior. The man was nothing more than scum. "How wise of you to surrender."_

" _Surrender?" Sakura repeated daringly and then laughed. Straightening up, she stood as tall as possible, willing herself to remember every bit of training Tsunade had given to her. She could not let her shishou down. Not in front of the man who had murdered her. "You should know just by my shishou's name that I am not a submissive woman."_

" _But you are still a woman," he countered without pause. "Meaning you are emotional."_

 _Chauvinistic asshole, she almost screamed at him. However, she knew she needed to remain calm. No matter what, her anger couldn't get the best of her and she couldn't let him rile her up, otherwise she would lose whatever edge she had in their battle. She would only be proving him right._

" _It means you are easy to break."_

 _At his words, two of his operatives appeared in front of him, making her chest constrict painfully when they dumped two lifeless bodies to the ground like they were nothing more than sacks of dirt. Her shishou's henge had obviously faded away with her death, as had her seal and the sight of her true form had tears filling her eyes. There was no mistaking or faking her death. As for Shizune… As much as she wanted to, Sakura was unable to look away._ _They were soaked in blood, bodies broken and beaten beyond repair. From the looks of things, not even Tsunade's seal had been able to save her._

 _What chance did she have?_

 _No._

 _She had to try. For them. For those who had died and for those who were trying to escape. She had to protect them._

 _A near frantic operative returned before she could strike, panting as he told Danzo, "Uchiha Sasuke is gone. His cell is empty and there is a trail of dead bodies."_

 _Itachi._

 _Sakura smirked. That was where he was, protecting his brother just as she always knew he would. She was so glad for that._

 _Danzo met her smug gaze, his eyes cold and features devoid of all emotion as he stared her down. In that moment, he seemed thrice her size, looking like he was towering over her. His aura was terrifying. It chilled her to the bone, forcing her to think of all the levels of pain he was going to cause her._

 _It didn't stop her from attacking in a final burst of rebellion, ignoring the last of the loyal shinobi behind her cheering her on. Soon enough, they joined her in the run towards Danzo, taking on the ROOT operatives to give her the opening she needed. Sending chakra to her feet, she leaped into the air, fist drawing back and a harsh growl leaving her as she swung forward, never hesitating for a second when he dodged. Instead, she followed after him, one punch after another._

" _Your shishou could not defeat me. Nor could her assistant," he said coldly. "What makes you think her inexperienced apprentice can?"_

 _Panting and sending more chakra to her left fist, she snarled in return, "It's_ because _I'm her apprentice that I'm going to take you down." Gritting her teeth, Sakura spun on her heel, willing herself to land just_ one _punch. One punch was all she needed. How the hell was such an old man so fast? He still had his freaking cane in his hand, too. "Not only have you killed my shishou, but you killed my comrades. You've killed innocent people. I can't ever forgive that!"_

 _Seemingly growing tired of their dance, Danzo put distance between them before breathing in deeply, taking Sakura by surprise when he suddenly spun, muttering, "Fūton: Shinkūha."_

 _There was no stopping her cry of pain as the harsh winds attacked her, feeling like real blades were cutting at her flesh mercilessly._

" _Sakura-san!"_

 _She couldn't falter. Despite the agony she was in, Sakura sent chakra throughout her body, coating it in an attempt to minimalize the damage. It was a technique Tsunade had taught her, one that protected their fists, wrists, arms and shoulders against their own strength. It only succeeded in taking a small amount of the damage, but that was all she needed and Sakura wasted no time in rushing forward again._

 _Only to be met with more wind blades._

 _Stumbling backwards while she tried to retreat, she grimaced, trembling. Danzo, on the other hand, wasn't even panting. He didn't look ruffled in the least and it aggravated her. He was just_ toying _with her._

" _Fūton: Shinkū Taigyoku."_

 _What?_

 _There was no defending herself against the wind sphere, it seemed. She was a fair distance from him, but it still landed a hit, viciously cutting into her and sending her soaring into the nearest building, causing it to crumble around her in response to the assault._

Just a little longer, _she willed herself._ Help them escape!

 _It was harder to get up, harder to coax her already beaten body into moving as the pain became extreme. He was too much for her. She was no match._

" _Continue like that and you'll die, foolish girl," he spat. "Hasn't that woman taught you anything?"_

" _Don't," she muttered darkly, body shaking with the effort of standing. Glaring at him defiantly, she used her last resort – her trump card. And as the markings travelled over her skin, she noticed the interest in Danzo's eye growing. "Don't talk about Tsunade-shishou like that."_

 _She ignored the skidding of her foot in the dirt during her take off. Ignored the trembling of her hands before they clenched tightly into fists._

" _Fūton: Shinkūgyoku."_

" _Sōzō Saisei!"_

 _The smaller wind spheres were even harder to dodge than the large sphere, but that didn't matter to her. Not when her seal was activated and saving her life as she continued her run forward, meeting the small bullet-like spheres that cruelly slammed into her body, cutting her deeply. Just as quickly as she was injured, however, she was healed._

" _Try harder, bastard," she snarled and leaped into the air again, leg raising high with her shishou's infamous Tsūtenkyaku. It came down without hesitation and Sakura inwardly yelled with pure joy that the kick connected, smashing Danzo into the ground that soon erupted around them. Knowing that it was her only chance at truly defeating him, she sent a blast of chakra through to her fist, suddenly bringing it down on him and gritting her teeth as the destruction increased around them._ "Shannaro!"

 _She jumped backwards and out of the crater, breathing harshly before she fell to her knees. The spheres had caused more damage than she'd anticipated, taking more chakra than she'd originally thought. Combining that with her reckless attacks in her short lived fight with Danzo and then all her fights before him…_

 _She needed to be wiser. Needed to save her chakra. Glancing over her shoulder at those watching, she narrowed her eyes. Most of them would need healing, if not all of them and there was only–_

 _A presence suddenly appearing to her right had green eyes going wide and she began to turn, ready to defend herself, but was unable to fight against the sudden onslaught of another great wind sphere._

" _Tell me where Uchiha Shisui is."_

 _She screamed in agony as the sphere crushed her into the ground, creating a similar crater to the one she'd caused only moments before. The scream was soon cut off by the blood travelling up her throat, determined on choking the life out of her if the sphere didn't kill her first._

 _It ended shortly after, telling her that Danzo wanted her alive. Probably for more information on the remaining, fleeing Uchiha men._

 _Slamming her fist into the ground, she got the distance she needed as Danzo backed off. It had her growling angrily to find that there wasn't a hair out of place on his head, even though she'd been so certain about hitting her target_ twice. _Weakly, Sakura climbed to her feet, refusing to acknowledge the way her legs threatened to buckle under her weight. Had she missed him somehow? Had he used a replacement technique? What the hell was at the bottom of that crater?_

" _Even if I fail tonight, you're going to die," she warned breathlessly, wincing as her muscles started cramping. It only went to prove his comment about her inexperience. Tsunade would have lasted so much longer, would've fought so much better. "You're forgetting who's out of the village right now." Glaring at him angrily when he simply stared back coldly, she yelled loudly so that her voice rang clear throughout the battlefield that was once her home, "Naruto's going to be out for blood for what you've done. He won't just defeat you. He'll_ destroy _you!"_

 _Movement behind her had Sakura quickly looking over her shoulder and it both warmed her heart and broke it to see many standing with her. They were each standing just as defiantly as she was, each soaked in blood and covered in injuries. She ached to help them, to ease their suffering, but all she was capable of doing was standing in front of them, arms hanging tiredly at her sides and body shaking, blood dripping from her chin._

 _She had to protect them._

 _It was what her shishou would have done until her dying breath._

" _You have one final chance to tell me where Uchiha Shisui is."_

 _Sakura smirked, weakly smearing the blood from her mouth across her face. "Go to hell, scum."_

 _Danzo sighed, making her wary as he reached up for the bandages covering half of his face._

" _So be it," he muttered, eyes shutting during the process. It wasn't until the final bandage was falling to the ground that he opened them, freezing her in her place at the sight of the blood red eye staring back at her menacingly. "I will get my answers one way or another."_

* * *

Green eyes snapped open, barely even aware of the pain her body was in. A cold sweat soaked her skin, but like the pain, she barely registered it. Couldn't when she immediately sensed that she was not alone in the cramped makeshift hospital room. Couldn't when she could sense the pure hatred coming from those around her in waves.

Couldn't when she met an angry set of Sharingan eyes.

They were directly above her, the person's hands pressing down onto her futon as he glared ahead of himself. His lips were moving, but the words didn't reach her ears. The fear the sight of the Sharingan evoked from her made it impossible to hear anything over the shrill ringing and it suddenly became hard to breathe, the cold sweat increasing as she got lost in the depths of the Sharingan, unable to even take in the guy's face as her vision suddenly blurred, as her world returned to darkness just in time as he turned to look at her with widening, bloody eyes.

They were the last thing she saw before unconsciousness took her once more.

* * *

 _Anything but that. She could take anything. Anything except for that._

 _Tears streamed down the sides of her face and into her hair as the liquid fell to her features in thick droplets, some going into her eyes, the others dripping onto her lips and almost making her gag. It reeked. Usually, it didn't bother her as much, simply told her where she was needed when somebody needed healing. This time, since she knew the scent…_

 _Her shishou's face flashed to the front of her mind, along with the reminder of how she'd died. Even in death Danzo wouldn't leave her alone. He'd drained her body of blood, was using said blood against her apprentice and–_

" _P-Please," she tried to beg through tightly sealed lips. If any of that blood went in her mouth…_

" _Where is Uchiha Shisui?"_

 _When a drop of blood was purposely directed to her nose, Sakura's body reacted instinctively and she tried to move out of the way. She only managed to move a measly couple of centimetres. They had her tied down too securely and t_ _his time, she retched as the blood went up her nose, feeling like it was burning her._

" _I don't know anything," came her loud cry, no longer able to keep her mouth shut and she threw up over herself at the taste of her shishou's cold blood. "Please, stop!"_

* * *

The next time she awoke, the room was less busy, but still being occupied by others. Somebody was tending to her, cleaning her wounds and touching the ends of her hair. She didn't care enough to look and see who it was. Danzo enjoyed toying with her too much.

"I don't know anything," she rasped, but before the person touching her could reply, their hands falling away from her in shock, she was out again.

* * *

" _Oh?"_

 _Fighting her injuries, Sakura tried to sit up as quickly as possible, eyes wide with horror at the smirking face standing in the doorway of her cell. After Hinata's escape they'd moved her from the cell she'd been sharing with her, instead dumping her in a place that had a door instead of bars as well as several operatives stationed outside, meaning zero chance of another escape._

" _I thought you weren't a submissive type?" the visitor asked._

 _No amount of fighting could keep the tears from filling her eyes, a shuddering breath leaving her like she'd been punched in the gut. "S-Shishou."_

" _They're going to destroy you, Sakura," she told her sternly. Her amber eyes were hard and narrowed, taking in her appearance critically. "Give them what they want and they'll let you go."_

 _Even though she knew it was all fake, even though Sakura could tell instantly that it wasn't really Tsunade, it still hurt to see her face. Like before her death, she looked beautiful and proud, standing tall in the doorway with her arms folded beneath her ample chest, a single eyebrow raising at her pitiful state. They almost had the expression. Almost. But even if they did, the words coming from her mouth ruined it all._

" _Shishou would never tell me give up," Sakura somehow managed to find the energy to spit at the impostor. "You're nothing but a fake."_

" _Are you sure?" the fake Tsunade asked daringly. "Danzo wouldn't want the village to know of my survival. Surely you must have thought I was defeated unsettlingly easy?"_

 _Yes, but… That was not her shishou. It couldn't be. Tsunade would tell her to continue fighting them, to never break. She had to be strong for the real Tsunade, the woman who'd cared for her and trained her, who took a weak, emotional wreck of a girl and made her into a fine shinobi._

" _Get out."_

 _The blonde smirked, eyes glinting. "No."_

 _Hands coming up to her ears to block out all sounds of the voice that filled her with grief, Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, starting a slow rock that would hopefully take her mind away from the person opposite her._

" _Get out!"_

* * *

"Get out," she cried, thrashing against the futon when hands grabbed at her limbs, pinning them to the bed. She could hear them talking, several voices all at once, forcing Sakura to keep her eyes shut as she fought against them.

" _It's a good thing her chakra's gone,"_ one of them said.

" _She's still putting up a fight, idiot. Stay focused."_

" _Sakura, calm down. Look at me."_

" _Sakura."_

" _Wake up."_

" _Please."_

More ghosts from her past. They were all being used against her now. It was only Tsunade and Shizune to start with, but it seemed Danzo was pulling out all the stops now to screw with her mind even further – not that it really needed any more doing to it.

" _I'm here."_

" _You're free, Sakura-chan. He doesn't have you anymore."_

No.

She would never be free.

Danzo would always be a part of her now.

* * *

 **A/N - Does anyone know of any ShisSaku fan art? I can't find much, if any at all and it's so heartbreaking because I think they're adorable together.**

 **Reviews for chapter 5:**

TheAliceHuntt: **I'm so sorry to hear that. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me, okay? I know what it's like to be in a really bad place. It doesn't feel like it'd help, I know, but sometimes it _does_ help to talk about it. Please take care of yourself.**

wowshutup: **Sasuke has always been pretty whiny, hasn't he? I'm having so much fun writing ShisSaku - more than I ever thought I'd have! It's like rediscovering my love for ItaSaku all over again, though I don't think it's quite up to their level just yet.**

I'm in here: **She's doing really well, which I'm so grateful for! Honestly, I think I'd be lost without her. And now Shisui's the one who's lost without Sakura, who's been with him every minute since he returned to the village, blind.**

DarkSecretKeeper: **It's the best way, isn't it?**

Guest: **Kakashi is one of those who automatically assume he's going too. Like, he doesn't need to step forward because either way he's going, you know? There's no debating it. And who better to talk with him than the man who's seen her at her best and worst? He knows exactly what Sakura's like when she's in love.**

 **Chapter 6:**

WhisperingPen: **All I can ever think of when I'm writing Sasuke and Sakura is what Kishimoto said about him: "If there's one person that Sasuke cannot hurt, it's her. It's Sakura."**

UmbreonGurl: **I was thinking that the other day! There's even fewer fan arts that I can find, as well, which is really sad. If only people could see how cute they are as a pairing.**

wowshutup: **I don't know what it is about this story, I just can't stop writing for it. Even when I'm working, I'm jotting down notes in a little book. I'm completely stuck for other stories, but this one is so easy to write for.**

unspoiledrini: **I hope this chapter gave you a brief inside to part of the torture Sakura went through. Don't worry, it's not horrible of you (if it is, then it makes me even worse, because I'm the one writing it haha), it makes an interesting read, right?**

The White Leopard: **You'll find out about Itachi's rescue mission in the next few chapters, I promise.**

 **Thank you to everyone else who reviewed! I'm so grateful that you take the time to leave kind reviews for me. I'm so happy with how well this story is doing already. Thank you!**


	9. No Turning Back

**Chapter 8 – No Turning Back**

"Move."

They were reasonably wary when Itachi stepped up, easily slipping between Sasuke and Naruto's struggling. Shisui was wary for an entirely different reason, however, when he gently cupped Sakura's face in the same way a man would touch his lover, waiting for the moment her terrified green eyes snapped open and widened at the sight of his Sharingan, tears filling them mere seconds after meeting his gaze.

And then she was gone again, falling into the trap of his genjutsu without any resistance.

Sakura had assured him that nothing had ever or would ever happen between her and Itachi, but the way he handled her, the way he stared down at her, had traitorous thoughts filling his mind. It filled him with a great possessiveness, one he _hoped_ was only heightened due to his Mangekyō forcibly activating out of stress and anger and hatred. But…

Her stomach.

Until Itachi had intervened, Sakura had been in and out of consciousness. Only an hour had passed since her return to him and since discovering what Danzo had done to her, his Sharingan hadn't deactivated once. Partly out of anger, but mostly due to an overwhelming fear of what state his eyes would be in once his Sharingan was deactivated.

It was with a sigh that Itachi stepped back, his hand lingering for a moment until he finally pulled away, appearing troubled by whatever he saw in her mind. "I have placed her under a peaceful genjutsu," he murmured. "The sights in her mind are…"

Itachi was at a loss for words? What had he seen? Whatever it was, it was enough for him to spare only a single, concerned glance down at Sakura before leaving the room, his cloak trailing behind him. He didn't look at any of them. Didn't utter another word. He left his sentence unfinished and their imaginations running wild.

"What the hell does that mean?" Naruto yelled after him as he rushed to the archway, gripping it on each side of him. Whether he could still see Itachi was a mystery to the others, but Shisui seriously doubted it. He would be long gone to try and sort through that head of his. "Oi, Itachi!"

"It means Danzo's done a good job of messing her head up," muttered Sasuke darkly.

Great. The snarling, emotionally unstable Sasuke was back. That was exactly what they needed at that moment in time, wasn't it? And because of his words, Naruto was going to get seriously wound up, with the whole situation undoubtedly escalating into a fight.

"Save your whining for later," Shisui warned them coolly, returning to his seat at Sakura's bedside. He reached out, taking her cold hand between the both of his. According to the medic: it would take a while for her to feel warm again. Having lost so much blood and been left naked in a cold cell was bound to have that effect. "Sakura needs to rest."

"Who put _you_ in charge?" came Naruto's angry demand.

All it took was the narrowing of his Mangekyō for Sasuke to intervene, grabbing the blond by his collar and yanking him out of the makeshift hospital room, warning him not to get involved.

It was only when they were alone that Shisui breathed out a heavy sigh, bringing Sakura's hand up to his forehead. She was freezing, but they had already covered her in several thick quilts and Tenten had returned at some point to dress her in winter clothing once the medic had seen to all the wounds.

" _There's nothing I can do about this, I'm afraid,"_ Shisui recalled the man saying regretfully, his heavy eyes lingering on the clan emblem. " _Even a medic-nin as great as Godaime-sama would be unable to reduce the scarring."_

He'd said that it looked as though it hadn't only been carved into her skin, but it'd been burned there, too. Danzo had branded Sakura like a farmer branded his livestock. He branded her as belonging to the Uchiha Clan, like she was nothing more than a possession rather than her own person. Or was it that he was branding her a traitor to Konoha?

There was no stopping the tears that filled his eyes and Shisui shut them tightly in response, willing away the horrendous aching in his chest.

"Forgive me," he whispered.

She looked so small. Like one rough movement would shatter her completely. It only occurred to him in that moment that it was the first time he was truly seeing her – all of her. The smallest details, _any_ details. How long had he waited for such a moment? How badly had he longed to see her face? He wished it was under different circumstances. Wished her skin wasn't horrifically bruised and cut up, wished there wasn't a thick layer of bandages covering many parts of her body. Her face was swollen and discoloured, neck in bloody, rope-burned ruins, lip busted and a large gash spread across her forehead, only recently stitched up, still angry in appearance. Gods, they'd done so much to her. What scared him most was the state of her mind. Simply _watching_ her in those past few minutes terrified him. What had they done to her?

Unable to look at her startling appearance any longer, Shisui swallowed down the urge to voice his frustrations and pain, eyes squeezing shut against their joined hands.

"Forgive me," he begged brokenly.

 _I should have protected you._

* * *

As Itachi had told them: he placed Sakura under a peaceful genjutsu. Shisui could see through it without even trying, his eyes never missing a single detail of the vision his friend had painted for her. The field of thousands of flowers must have brought some form of comfort to her and after a moment, Shisui could recall how she always had fresh flowers around his home. Always something different. He'd always wondered if they would be vibrant flowers, for they certainly smelled it.

He refused to look any further than the genjutsu. With his Mangekyō, he was more than capable. He could enter her mind and warp it without her ever realising, but Shisui refused. Never would he ever use his Sharingan on her without Sakura's permission, even if he knew it would help her.

It must have been around two hours before another dared to join them. It gave him the chance to calm himself, to try and control his emotions. Others avoided the makeshift hospital room for the longest time and he wondered if his hatred was truly that palpable.

"Forgive me," the Hyuuga girl murmured, hand holding onto the wall for support. Without a medic-nin around, she was left to heal naturally with small doses of medication to help ease the pain. Shisui couldn't imagine what kind of agony she was in, having an eye stolen right from its socket. "I have been ordered to rest." Smiling faintly, she added, "Hanabi seems to have forgotten which of us is the elder sibling."

Ah, so he was looking at Hinata then. It was rude of him, but with all the chaos going on around them, he continuously got the two mixed up. How, he wasn't entirely sure. They couldn't have been more different in appearance, especially with Hinata's injuries.

"How are you feeling?" Shisui asked, though his eyes returned to Sakura's motionless form. There was a faint sound of Hinata breathing out a shaky sigh of relief and it reminded him of how intimidating his Sharingan actually was. He'd have to keep that in mind around the civilians.

"We must wait until Sakura-san awakes for an official diagnosis, so I must deal with the pain," Hinata replied softly and he heard her dainty footsteps before she was lowering herself onto her futon. "Unfortunately, Atsushi-san doesn't have the specialist equipment needed by civilian medics to scan my injuries, meaning he cannot properly treat them."

More than anything, Shisui wished Sakura would be left alone to recover by herself, but he understood that as the greatest medic-nin in the world, she would never have a moment to herself any more. Either because people needed her too much, or she felt the need to always help others. She would never take a break.

He would make it his personal mission to ensure she got enough rest.

Noticing out of the corner of his eye that Hinata was hesitating in returning to sleep, Shisui asked, "Will it cause any problems further down the line if you do not receive the correct treatment?"

Lightly, she shrugged, her single, pale eye going to Sakura's sweating features. "Although I may have lost one of my eyes, I still have the other. I will learn to cope and adjust." Then, more quietly, "Sakura-san never let them inflict much mental torture on me. I suppose she, like others, knows how weak I am mentally."

It wasn't said in a way to gain pity. She stated it like a fact being read from a textbook.

"When she is waking, please inform me," Hinata requested, leaning back and covering herself with the sheets. "If Sakura-san sees me she will no doubt demand to examine and heal me. I cannot allow that in her current state."

Ah, so she understood. She also felt the need to protect Sakura, the woman who had gone so far out of her way for them both. Shisui was glad for that. Still, he couldn't help but say, "The repercussions of not being treated correctly are-"

"I will manage," she said more surely, her voice gaining confidence and when Shisui glanced her way, she didn't falter like she had moments before at the sight of his eyes. Her single eye stared into his, but a second later and he saw her swallow nervously, eyebrows knitting together delicately. "Sakura-san, on the other hand, will not. You weren't there, Uchiha-san, therefore you don't understand the horrors we – no, the horrors Sakura-san went through."

Of course. Sakura had put herself between Danzo and Hinata as much as she possibly could. To make matters worse: she helped Hinata escape.

"What happened that night?" he asked.

To an extent, Shisui understood Sasuke's impatience whenever Hyuuga Hinata spoke. She hedged and stuttered too much, hesitated too many times. When discussing something such as Sakura's experiences, he wanted fast replies. He wanted details. For a moment, despite her mouth opening, no words left her. It was a struggle Shisui had no hopes in understanding.

Then, so softly he almost missed it, she whispered, "It was not long after they took my eye."

* * *

" _Hinata," Sakura cried out, her features a blur to Hinata as she struggled forward, catching her when she was thrown into their cell without a care. Something was dripping on her face and it took Hinata a few moments to realise her friend was leaning over her, crying at the state she was in. "Shit, Hinata."_

 _Even after all they'd done to her, Sakura still had that magnificent heart that drew so many to her. The heart that longed for peace and good health, the heart that broke into tiny pieces continuously at the sight of pain and suffering. It was a beautiful heart and Hinata understood perfectly why Uzumaki Naruto loved her so._

 _Weakly, she tried to reach for her face. At some point during the disgusting procedure, she stopped feeling the pain. They hadn't used any sedatives. Hadn't used anything to numb the feeling. No, Danzo wanted her to feel everything. He wanted her to feel him taking her eye while she was powerless to stop him. Oh, she wished she was stronger like her sister and cousin. She wished she had greater fighting spirit like Naruto._

 _Her hands weren't the only ones shaking, Hinata realised belatedly, squinting to try and see. It was disorientating. Her nose made it impossible to see anything on her left, her right eye straining to make up for the difference._

" _You're getting out of here," she muttered lowly, bringing their bodies closer. Hinata wondered if she was wearing the expression that scared Naruto greatly, or the scared desperation she'd witnessed several times over the years._

" _W-We."_

" _Huh?"_

" _We…"_

 _Hinata only_ just _saw Sakura's shaky smile, though felt her nod. "_ We're _getting out of here."_

 _It was easier said than done. It took at least ten minutes for Hinata to transfer whatever chakra she possessed over to Sakura, who wasted no time in bending the bars on their cell, growling under her breath while doing so. Then, without pause, she scooped the Hyuuga up like she weighed absolutely nothing, even though her own injuries were surely severe, dashing madly in the first direction that registered in her mind._

 _Hinata couldn't find it in herself to worry about where they were going or their chances of being caught. She was lightheaded, her world spinning sickeningly once pain returned to her numbed senses, shocking her into laying rigid in Sakura's arms, blood dripping down her chin due to how hard she was biting her tongue._

" _I-I can't…"_

" _Just a few more minutes," Sakura whispered in hushed tones, panting. "I know I saw one around here-"_

 _They burst into a room just as she cut herself off and Hinata heard her friend breathe out a deep sigh. The smell of bleach and medicines barely registered in her mind. Did little to ease the suffering she was going through. What helped, however, was Sakura placing her down on a vacant cot to the far left of wherever they were. Hinata knew she was in safe hands. Despite being so greatly injured and suffering herself, Sakura was already putting herself to work at healing her wounds._

" _I can't use much chakra," she said apologetically, examining her without any medical ninjutsu. "But I think I can stop the bleeding at the very least."_

 _It nauseated her to know she would continue to be in agony._

" _This will numb the pain, but it'll make you sleepy too," Sakura continued and held up an injection, features puckering with a frown. "You need to try and fight it for as long as you can, got it? If we get separated somehow, you need to keep running. There's no telling when he'll come back for your right eye."_

 _Everything from that moment on was a blur to Hinata. The discovery of their being in the medical room, the fight for escape. She could faintly recall Sakura placing her down long enough to cause a decent amount of destruction, one that granted them an opening to escape, the operatives wary of attacking or getting close as they realised Sakura had access to her chakra._

 _Just as they reached the world outside of their prison, however, they were separated. Something sliced at the back of Sakura's leg, cutting into the muscle ruthlessly but just as Hinata began to turn towards her, intent on grabbing her and running, her friend screamed at her with a face that was flushing red in a mixture of pain and desperation, "Go, Hinata. This is Danzo's attack._ Run!"

 _So she did._

 _She ran._

* * *

"I…"

Shisui continued to watch the features of the woman he loved as Hinata broke down into sobs, repeating her shaky apology. In fairness, she had not only been under the influence of strong painkillers, but absolutely terrified at the time of her escape. Did that stop him from wishing Hinata had ignored Sakura's order and try to save her? No, it didn't. Did he understand why Sasuke had been so angry the other night while listening to her story? Definitely. Did he forgive the girl? Without a doubt.

It wasn't her fault. Unless in that situation, going through the exact same decision making, nobody had any right to judge her actions – himself included. It was all well and good stating what he would've done, had their situations been reversed, but that was pointless. Pointless and upsetting to Hinata, who actually had to live through such difficulties. Just because Sakura fought hard to take on most of the torture, it didn't necessarily mean the Hyuuga was spared completely. Sakura couldn't stay locked in that cell every second of every day and soon enough, they would've grown tired of her constant interference. If they wanted Hinata, they would've taken her one way or another.

"I am going to start training again," she suddenly told him, single eye continuing to tear up but still determined. "Neji-nii-san said he will assist in bettering my vision, even if I only have one eye."

"You still have one eye," Shisui agreed. "A good one at that. Do not let it go to waste."

* * *

He rarely left her side. When the medic returned to examine her healing progress, Shisui merely stepped aside, allowed him to do his job and then returned to his seat the second it was over. The same went for Tenten's duties of changing Sakura's clothing. Only, for that, he turned his back on the women.

Now that he was seeing again, Shisui was hesitant to deactivate his Sharingan. He knew once it was gone, his sight would be too. There was no avoiding it. The stressful circumstances and his negative emotions had broken through the barrier, somehow avoiding destroying his eyes altogether. If he was to deactivate his Sharingan after thirty-eight hours of it being activated, what state would his eyes be in? Would he go back to darkness? Would Sakura ever be able to reverse the damage?

"Sleep, Shisui."

He didn't turn around. Didn't acknowledge the boy – damn it, the _man_ who was like a brother to him. Shisui was no doubt the first to admit that he was in a sour mood, that his lack of sleep in the past thirty-eight hours was making said mood worse. Did he care? Not particularly. Sakura was his main concern. Without her, he may as well be blind once more, because… Well, what would be his reason for living?

She had become such an important part of his life. His every waking moment, before the attack on Konoha and after his return, had included her. Every single one of them. And Shisui wanted every moment after to include her. He wanted to have everything with her, regardless of the fact they'd only known each other a few months. The thought of her waking up and not being the same wonderful, flawed woman that she was hurt him. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

He loved her.

How could he live without her?

* * *

 **A/N - I don't have the time to reply to everyone for this update, I'm so sorry. I'm literally doing like twelve/thirteen days in a row right now between work and university, I'm aching all over and I'm getting kind of stressed. If you haven't already noticed, the updates are going to be much slower now. I simply don't have the time. Hopefully, my timetable won't remain like this forever.**


	10. It's Killing Me

**Chapter 9 – It's Killing Me**

He awoke with a jolt, unaware that he'd fallen asleep in the first place. It was an awful feeling. Disorientating, even. The last thing he could remember was holding onto Sakura's uninjured hand (the other was broken, the civilian doctor had informed them, and looked as though it had been crushed beneath a heavy weight, though wasn't beyond repair – of course, Danzo wouldn't permanently damage one of his best, even if he was reluctant to admit that a woman _was_ one of his best) and hoping more than anything that she would pull through it in one piece.

Hesitantly, Shisui sat up, holding a hand over his eyes as a creeping fear wrapped itself around his heart, making his stomach twist sharply. It was what he'd childishly tried to avoid – sleep, he meant. Having his Sharingan deactivated was the last thing he wanted, as he knew there was every chance of him never seeing again once it was. The strain it caused was unbelievable, causing his head to feel as though it was throbbing, causing his eyes to burn. He swallowed hard. There was no way to avoid it now. No way to prevent it. He'd screwed up massively, wanting nothing more than to be there for Sakura when she woke up, wanting to fight by her side and _not_ be a hindrance when they fought to take back Konoha.

 _What use are you?_

Shisui was tempted to roll over and go back to sleep, just as he'd done countless times since his 'return'. Those days had been his darkest without a shadow of a doubt. Some days not even Sakura's unwavering support had been able to break through that darkness. She'd done all she could to help him, to try and ease his suffering, but it was impossible. Without his sight, he wasn't even a shell of his former self. A shell was too good for the state he'd become.

 _You can't protect her. You can't even fend for yourself._

"–and you're sure she's waking up?"

His fists clenched and he tried to get a feel of the room, still too wary of opening his eyes. No longer was Shisui beside Sakura's bed. Nor was he in the medical room. He recognised the scent of his sleeping bag and futon, could recognise the noise that went on in the background after he welcomed it unwillingly. Children were playing half-heartedly, the women were nattering, trying their hardest not to show their exhaustion and the men were shuffling around, trying to find some way of supporting them all. It was all so miserable to him.

Footsteps approached from his left and Shisui breathed out slowly, already aware of the fact that it was Itachi – he could sense his chakra. Still, he refused to open his eyes. Couldn't. Just the thought of opening them made his heart clench painfully.

"Shisui."

His eyebrows knitted together and he could feel others watching him. "Why am I out here?" he asked gruffly.

There was a sigh. When Itachi next spoke, his voice was closer, telling him that his friend was more than likely kneeling beside him. "You were exhausted and it would have done more harm than good to sleep in such a position for so long."

"You had no right-"

"It has been twenty-seven hours since you fell asleep, Shisui."

Twenty-seven? There was no way that was true. But… What reason would Itachi have for lying to him about it?

"Your emotions are heightened due to the stressful circumstances," he continued without pause. "This means you are not thinking rationally." Lowering his voice so that the others wouldn't hear him, he admitted, "I need you, Shisui. Sakura also needs you. But we don't need you the way you are acting now. We need your judgement, your quick reactions-"

There was no stopping his snap of, "I'm not that person anymore."

But Itachi's response was just as quick as he told him, "Yes, you are. You are simply being oppressed by your depression."

Was his friend suddenly becoming naïve? "It is not as simple as snapping out of it, Itachi."

"I know."

"Then stop talking such nonsense-"

"You have already achieved what Hokage-sama believed would never happen. Not only did you activate your Sharingan, but you activated your Mangekyō. That alone fills me with enough hope to know that the person you once was is still there."

Ridiculous. It was all getting so ridiculous. How in the hell was he supposed to be the same person? How was he supposed to go on living like nothing had happened? Like he hadn't somehow been sent eight years into the future? Or that his eyes hadn't been burned so badly it made the medics' believe they should've been liquefied? Or the crushing depression that never let up for a single moment? How the hell did he come back from that and return to the person he once was?

Either Itachi didn't notice his growing anger or he didn't care enough about it, because he went on to say, "I want you to be by my side when we take back Konoha, Shisui. I will need your strength to defeat Danzo-"

Just thinking of that vile excuse of a man filled Shisui with a deep rage, one he couldn't control. His eyes snapped open, body feeling ten times hotter despite the freezing temperature as he yelled, " _I can't!"_

It was like all movement – no, all life in the room came to a screeching halt. The children stopped playing. The women stopped nattering. The men looked at him as though they'd been wondering who would snap first and when.

Itachi wasn't surprised in the least. In fact, he smirked.

 _And he could see it._ Albeit, his vision was blurred slightly and he had to focus hard on the details, but it was no different than what it was before activating his Sharingan. It was the same. Activating it… Despite what he'd been warned, it hadn't negatively affected his sight at all. Was that because of all the time he'd spent in Katsuyu's world? Was it because of the induced coma? Was it Sakura's chakra being sent to Katsuyu that aided in the miracle?

As for Itachi…

Shisui smirked, lowering his head a little in an apology he couldn't say in that moment. His throat was too tight, chest weighed down with the intense emotions he could feel. That kid knew right from the start how to push his buttons. He knew how to rile him up, how to get a reaction. And understanding how Shisui was feeling, Itachi had deliberately pissed him off.

But none of that mattered.

 _He could see._

"Itachi, c'mon," they heard Naruto yell impatiently from the corridor, too busy rushing towards the medical room. "She's waking up."

There wasn't a second of hesitation in their standing, both men glancing to each other and pausing. It had those traitorous thoughts drifting to the front of Shisui's mind once more, making him question the bond Sakura had with him. Even if it was just friendship for her, was it more for Itachi? The way he'd handled her, the way he always cared for her told him it had to be more. But Itachi had always been a gentle kid, had always taken care of those who were important to him. How was this any different?

No, whatever it was, it didn't matter. Sakura was his main concern.

"Come," he muttered while walking away, leaving his futon a mess and not caring in the slightest. It didn't really matter.

He heard Itachi following him and in response those thoughts continued to try and take control of his mind. Thoughts of the three years they spent together wishing Sasuke would return to them. Thoughts of them bonding over their pain. Thoughts of their relationship developing into more than–

No.

Shisui willed the automatic response to his rampant emotions to stop, willed himself to remain calm. He couldn't overdo it. He had to be there for Sakura. He–

At the same time as his hand pressed to the wall, another reached out for him, steadying Shisui when his head began to swim. His other hand came to his head, covering his eyes. It'd been a while since he'd suffered with dizzy spells and he couldn't remember if they were ever so sickening when he was younger and had first awakened his Mangekyō. It felt like the whole world was spinning and would never be normal again and his stomach lurched in response.

"Shisui-"

"Check on her," he muttered, tongue feeling thick.

His friend shook his head and eased Shisui into a sitting position, helping him place his head between his knees and encouraging him to take deep breaths. All the while he stayed by his side, watching worriedly and waiting loyally. It had Shisui breathing out a shaky sigh, wondering just when the hell he'd been given any reason to doubt his best friend. Itachi had never done anything to hurt him. It simply wasn't in his nature.

"Breathe," Itachi murmured and placed his hand on his back, giving a small smile. It was clear that he was tired, though – no, he was exhausted. "We will check on Sakura together."

He couldn't nod his assent, but as always, Itachi understood him.

He merely hoped Sakura could forgive him for not being there when she awoke.

* * *

The dizziness lifted, but not in time to make it before Sakura woke up. He needn't have worried, however. She seemed out of it for a while, first staring up at the ceiling blankly before slowly sitting up, frowning at her surroundings in confusion. Not noticing them or acknowledging them, Sakura had then assessed her own injuries, her frown deepening by the minute as she tried to piece everything together. Obviously, she couldn't remember Itachi's rescue mission and couldn't remember waking up the other day.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto called out quietly, voice uncertain. He was holding himself back. Seeming uncertain and hesitating in the back, whereas Shisui had been sure he'd be right at the front, all but on top of her the second her eyes opened. Not in a sexual way – it was his tendency to overreact to everything, apparently. "How're you feeling?"

Shisui wanted to step forward, to stand by her side as she warily stood up, but found himself unable to move. Everything was so surreal to him. She was moving around, albeit slowly, and taking everything in with those stunning green eyes that he _still_ couldn't see much of other than the bright colour. He was tempted to activate his Mangekyō to see the details of those eyes but held himself back. The day would come. He would see those beautiful eyes in full force soon. And he would be a goner.

"Where am I?"

Her voice… It was ridiculous, but he felt himself relax somewhat at the sound of it. The familiarity was welcomed wholeheartedly. It reminded Shisui of the days they spent together around his home and he shut his eyes, savouring the moment.

"You're safe," came Naruto's reply and he tried to smile. "We're far away from Konoha."

"Safe…"

Shisui frowned.

"Safe from what?"

"Oi," Naruto said with a shaky chuckle. It was clear from his paling face that he was uncomfortable. "Don't tell me you can't remember anything."

Gods, Shisui wanted to see more. He wanted to witness every little detail on her delicate features and how they looked when she frowned, when she laughed, or when she cried. What made it worse was her sudden turning away from them. Her dainty hand reached out, fingertips running gently on the clan's emblem carved into the wall. Then, that same hand stilled, inching towards her stomach before dropping uselessly to her side.

So, she _did_ remember. A selfish part of Shisui hoped she wouldn't.

"I…"

The words died on her tongue and he noticed Itachi gesture to the table once Sakura had turned to face them. It wasn't too large and was more than capable of seating six people, but when Sakura sat at the table, all alone, it looked thrice its size. It made his chest give an uncomfortable squeeze. That squeezing grew steadily worse when nobody moved to sit with her. He understood their hesitation, though. Even he couldn't make himself move to sit beside her.

"What do you remember?" the blond pushed when the silence grew too much for him.

There was a frown of what Shisui presumed was confusion and once again, he found himself tempted to activate his Sharingan.

Finally, someone approached her and he noticed the way Sakura's eyes instantly met with Itachi's, widening a fraction. Whatever expression was on her face, it was enough for him to stop his approach and sigh. Fear, perhaps? After a moment, he told her, "I find it helps clear my thoughts when I start from the beginning, with easier information, before slowly making my way to the more difficult things."

"Small stuff?"

It was obvious she needed a drink to soothe her throat. Another agreed with him, passing her a canteen that she was hesitant to drink from. For a few moments, she stared down at it, neither reaching for it nor looking away from it, almost like she was stuck in a trance. Sighing, Kakashi unscrewed the lid for her, but made no move to push it closer to her. Something was clearly going on in that mind of hers and they all knew not to pressure her.

"Your name and age." Itachi stepped forward, his back now to Shisui as he watched her closely. "Information such as that."

Slowly, unsurely, she nodded, glancing around herself. He wondered what kind of expression it was to make the others look away so quickly. Keeping his Sharingan deactivated was growing more difficult by the minute when all he wanted to do was look at her.

Then she completely surprised him by going along with Itachi's words, murmuring croakily, "My name is Haruno Sakura. I'm…" It made him ache inside that for a moment, she couldn't even remember how old she was, that she had to work it out like it was an intense mathematical problem. "I'm seventeen years old." Her head lowered and he assumed she was staring down at the table. "Konoha was attacked by ROOT. So…" Her voice broke and in response, Shisui felt his stomach twist. He wanted to reach out to her so badly. "So many people died. I-I couldn't save them."

The pain in her voice was too much. It felt like it was killing him inside.

"I was taken captive, along with many others. I shared a cell with Hyuuga Hinata until I helped her escape." Something hardened in her and he heard the gritting of her teeth. "She had to get out of there. With the way things were going, she wouldn't have lasted another night. Not with the state they left her in."

Shisui narrowed his eyes. He'd never witnessed Sakura's anger for himself but he'd heard it was something to avoid at all costs, especially when he had no way of defending himself. Was he about to see her anger? Just what was she capable of when infuriated? He'd only heard stories – some of which were _surely_ exaggerated.

"Breathe," Itachi murmured like it was something he'd ordered her to do several times in the past. Still, he made no move to sit with her. Shisui couldn't help but question why. "Continue with what you remember."

Sakura stared at him for what felt like the longest time after that and frustratingly, Shisui couldn't understand why. What expression was she wearing? Was she confused? Annoyed? Defiant? Submissive? He wanted to know so badly.

His fists clenched.

"In return for her escape, the torture went up a notch. I finally got breaks between the sessions with Ibiki, though," she said bitterly and on the table, her fists clenched, her eyes still locked on Itachi's. Shisui was unsure whether his friend was staring back. Probably was, though. "He told Danzo the first time they got stuck in that I wouldn't last long with the new level of torture if it was constant. Of course, Danzo didn't like that. He wanted to break me as quickly as possible. Wanted me on his side. But how could I when…"

Finally, Itachi took a step forward, his head dipping slightly like he was trying to catch her eye. Had she looked away? Was there a distant look in her eye? "When?" he pushed.

She got lost again, leaving the rest of the room holding their breaths as they waited for her to continue. For a while, she didn't. And when she finally did, Sakura didn't start from where she left off. She started a whole new memory, blinking several times like she was coming out of a trance.

"There was a glitch in the security. A glitch that came from within the Uchiha District. Danzo assumed it was the clan conspiring against the village."

"What?" Sasuke snarled and pushed away from the wall, causing her head to snap in his direction, those green blurs he could see widening.

"You…"

He grit his teeth and just from the shift in the air Shisui could tell Sasuke was growing restless, no doubt holding himself back. It had him narrowing his eyes dangerously. It was one thing for Sasuke to yell at Hinata, a girl Shisui barely even knew. If he was to verbally attack Sakura…

Sakura's hands were shaking as she clutched at the table, trying to hide the fact she was spooked. "Dead. You're dead. Team Seven's dead. All dead. Everyone. Dead. Dead. Dead. _Dead-"_

Even Itachi looked unnerved by her rushed yell, by the slow rock she began, her wide green eyes fixated on Sasuke's face. While he hadn't seen much of her to know the difference, Shisui could've sworn she was paler than usual.

She was growing hysterical, hands coming to her matted hair and grabbing clumps of it, harshly tugging on the ends. All they could do was stare at the mess of the woman she'd become. Not a single one of them could speak up, could bring themselves to approach her when she was in such a state. They felt their hope crumbling away at the sight of such a strong woman being reduced to an utter wreck.

"Shishou," she whispered and abruptly stopped rocking, facing something they couldn't see and it had Shisui's heart breaking all over again. "What's real? Tell me. _I can't take it!"_

Kakashi was the one who moved, slowly kneeling before her and holding up his hands when she turned as quickly as she could, crouching. She had to be experiencing pain despite the fact she wasn't showing it. Her wounds were still fresh and the doctor hadn't wanted to give her anything too strong due to the state she was in. It only went to prove how frightened she was, in Shisui's mind. So scared that she couldn't even feel her pain.

"I don't know anything," she snapped in obvious fright. "I don't know where they are. They're probably dead. You killed them."

Even though Shisui wanted to warn him not to, for he could sense the chakra steadily building within Sakura as it began to return to her (which, no doubt, meant trouble for them should she attack), he didn't stop him as Kakashi reached out to her, his hand falling to her shoulder firmly. The atmosphere was intense, the fear she was experiencing faltering as she leaned closer to him, shaking hands gingerly touching his chest, then his mask.

"We're real," came Kakashi's quiet words. They were certain. Resolute. There was no way she could question him. "I promise I'm real."

And when she spoke again, Sakura's voice was childlike, her eyes filling with tears. "Make it stop, Sensei," she begged brokenly.

Behind him, he saw Naruto lift a hand to his face, wiping roughly at it. A second later and his shoulders were shaking. The final member of Team Seven was unmoving from what Shisui could see, but his head was facing another direction so that no one could see whatever expression was on his face.

"I can't stand it," she whispered. "He…"

Shifting, Kakashi blocked her view of everyone else, forcing her to focus only on him. In that moment, he managed to make them all feel insignificant, managed to make them feel as though they were invisible. Not wanting to overcrowd her, only Team Seven, Itachi and Shisui were in the room and they _all_ felt unnecessary as Kakashi stole Sakura's entire attention so effortlessly.

"Tell me," he encouraged gently, giving her shoulder a familiar squeeze.

So she did. Like it was the easiest thing in the world opening up to her former sensei. "They thought it would be ironic to torture me with blood – with Tsunade-shishou's blood."

She didn't hear Naruto's breath leave him like a punch to the gut, didn't see the way he fell back against the wall, head shaking numbly like he didn't want to hear any more. Wherever her story was going, he already knew the end and he didn't want to hear it again. It had dread knotting up in Shisui's chest, making it impossible to breathe.

 _What had they done to her?_

"Tsunade-shishou was terrified of blood after her lover died in her arms. They thought it would be…" She paused, breathing shaky. "They wanted me to not only fear blood, but to think of her whenever I smell blood. They wanted me to think that it was hers. That I couldn't save her no matter how hard I try. That I would never be free from it."

Kakashi eased her into a more comfortable sitting position, placing her at the table once more before sitting opposite her, his aura alone still commanding her full attention. Had he always been able to do that?

"He… He said it was something I had to learn to overcome. Something I had to grow stronger from." There was another shake, but Shisui was certain it wasn't from sadness. It felt too dark. "Danzo said I had to be stronger than Tsunade-shishou in every way. Said she wouldn't have been able to stop the Uchiha Clan from manipulating the Kyuubi and staging a coup d'état."

Even Sasuke couldn't argue. Not when she was getting angry again – and not the short burst he'd seen earlier, the one that was no doubt only a fraction of the wrath she usually displayed. He could feel it in the air. Could see the way the others took a step back, the way they were preparing themselves. Naruto shook away his sadness and stood at full attention. Sasuke's eyes focused intensely on her features. Itachi strengthened his stance like he was physically capable of going against the monstrous strength Shisui had only glimpsed at.

Kakashi remained seated with her like nothing was even happening.

"Is that why Danzo took over?" he questioned, like a fool poking an aggravated bear.

"He took over before they could strike. In his eyes, the Uchiha Clan was not to be trusted. They were plotting against the village. Wanted to take over."

All other emotion left her as Sakura struggled to keep a lid on her rage and without his permission and despite the searing pain it caused, Shisui felt his Sharingan activate so that he could take in the sight of her. Her features were twisted into a scowl, upper lip curling and her entire body visibly shaking as she struggled to remain in control.

His breath left him at the sight of such a broken beauty.

"In his eyes, Tsunade-shishou wasn't capable of protecting the village or stopping the Uchiha Clan. In his eyes, she was nothing but a weak, emotional woman."

It was only due to his Sharingan being activated that Shisui saw her leap to her feet, that he saw her fist slamming into the table. Kakashi barely made it out in time.

" _Shishou was not weak!"_ came her screech of pure hatred.

The table didn't stand a chance against her strength, instantly cracking in half and collapsing to the ground. But that wasn't what had everyone springing into action. It felt as though the entire hideout was about to come down around them when the floor crumbled beneath her fist, when cracks ran up the walls and bits of the ceiling fell around them. It felt like the quaking would never end. All the while she panted loudly, eyes wide and expression one of fury.

"Sakura, calm-"

She spun on her heel, glaring viciously at Itachi. "Stay the hell away from me," she spat. Her eyes shifted to Sasuke's and then to his own, freezing him in his place for it was the first time she'd glanced his way, but there was no reaction and Shisui wasn't sure what hurt more. Her total lack of acknowledgement, or her following accusations. "This is entirely your fault. If your clan hadn't been so needy, so obsessed with power, none of this shit would have happened. I wouldn't have had to go through any of that. _They wouldn't have programmed all this shit into me!"_

Realisation had Shisui's knees buckling and giving out on him, had everything around him becoming insignificant as he caught onto what she was trying to say. It explained so much. It explained everything.

They'd programmed her, turning her against them. Against the Uchiha Clan. Possibly against the so-called traitors of Konoha. The rebels.

By his side (for he'd moved when Sakura lashed out), Itachi's eyes widened a fraction.

That was why it had been so easy for him to get her out of Konoha. It was why only a small squad had given chase. They were expecting her to do something, but what? Surely Danzo wasn't foolish enough to believe a kunoichi in Sakura's condition could do anything against so many of them?

Right?

* * *

 **A/N – To the 'Guest' account who was too scared to log into their account to call my plot 'so fucking stupid':**

Thanks for taking the time to read through 33,000 words _and_ leave a review, despite how bitchy it was. If you don't like my story or where I'm going with it, don't read it. Don't waste your time writing a pointless review that doesn't explain _why_ you find it so stupid, because it's worthless to me. There's no constructive criticism there, it's just you being a dick.

 **I feel really bad that that's all I've got time to reply to and I know I'm saying this so many times now: but I promise I'll reply to you all at some point. At the minute I'm juggling full time hours at work (over 39 hours a week), university and family/friends time. It'll be worth it soon enough, I hope. For now, however, some things have to be pushed back and my stories are one of those things, sadly. I still write whenever I get the chance, but whenever I'm not working or at uni or seeing friends/family, I'm sleeping or trying to rest. I hope you all understand.**

 **Thank you!**


	11. The Crows Cry Out

**Chapter 10 – The Crows Cry Out**

Why was she still seeing them?

Shaking hands clenched into fists, her eyes slowly shutting to try and block it all out. They were talking amongst themselves like they were real. Like they weren't brutally murdered a couple of months ago. Reopening her eyes slightly, she glanced over to the right, making sure she was still there in the corner of the room. As expected: her shishou was still there. For that, Sakura was grateful. She wasn't alone in the new hell Danzo had created.

"At least Danzo has one thing right this time," Tsunade muttered, glaring at the arguing group of men. "They're still acting like idiots."

Honestly, Sakura wasn't sure how much longer she could last. The physical torture was one thing. That, she could somewhat handle. Tsunade had taught her to go to her 'safe place' for the duration of those sessions. It was a field of blossoming flowers, the wind gently disturbing them with its cooling breeze, causing the bright colours to look as though they were shimmering. Oh, it was wonderful going there. Every night Sakura hoped she would dream of it, too.

"Looks like this place is secure," she went on to say and turned away, touching the wall. "It's hard to believe Danzo would go through all this trouble to screw with you, kid."

"What're you suggesting?" she demanded through gritted teeth. Gods, she couldn't handle it. There was too much talking. Too much noise. There was _always_ too much noise from the dead. Why the hell couldn't they stay quiet?

"Maybe you really are out of that hellhole." Raising an eyebrow, Tsunade faced the group, narrowing her eyes on them. "They're all powerful men, Sakura. It's possible they-"

" _They're all dead_ ," came her defiant yell, uncaring of the dead people now staring at her.

Any moment, they would be covered – no, _drowning_ in their own blood. She would hear their screams of agony and begs for mercy. She would be forced to witness each and every one of their deaths on repeat for many hours until her mind broke all over again. It was Danzo's favourite pastime, after all. Breaking her.

"Sakura-chan, we-"

She flinched at the sound of Naruto's voice. It always caused her great pain hearing it. He was supposed to become so much more than what he was now. He wasn't supposed to be used to break her. Naruto was going to become Hokage, was going to show the world that he was so, so, _so_ much more than just a jinchūriki, than a tool. He was a person with dreams and aspirations and needs. He just wanted to show them all that he was capable of feeling. That he loved and wanted to be loved.

Her legs shook as she backed away into the wall. The physical pain was bearable. Sure, it hurt, but she would cope with it. She had to. Danzo could mark her body all he wanted, could brand her with as many names as he could think of, but she would not show her pain. She would not-

"Sakura," Tsunade said firmly as she came to stand beside her, glaring at the group of men now watching her closely. "Remain calm. Assess the situation. Remember your training."

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Sakura questioned harshly, hands flat against the stone wall. Shit, why did she back into it? Why didn't she go towards the-

There was a door. An opened door. No, it was an archway.

No one was guarding it.

And she now had access to her chakra for the first time in months.

It was reluctantly that she admitted she wasn't nearly as fast as she used to be, her limbs shaking as she forced them into a dead sprint towards the archway, teeth gritting and fists clenching as she prepared herself to take down anyone she had to, even if it meant fighting those she loved.

 _They're dead anyway,_ a voice hissed in the back of her mind. _They can hardly die a second time._

That was right.

She willed herself to drain every last drop of chakra from her reserves when someone placed themselves between her and the exit, her left fist drawing back. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Naruto's expression turn to one of horror, heard him screaming at her to stop. But why should she take orders from a dead man?

It hurt her heart looking into his face, knowing her fist was about to make it unrecognisable. Hurt that she was going to kill him after all the years of trying to-

No, he was already dead. Sasuke was gone. She was about to kill an impostor.

Short, spiky black hair was replaced with long, straight hair that swayed due to his sudden speed, that continued to sway as he summoned an immense amount of chakra to counter her attack. He knew from experience that, even if she was severely weakened, Sakura's strength was still a challenge. It would still kill him. He caught her wrist expertly, the chakra he'd summoned taking the force of the blow and protecting his bones – just like she'd told him in the past it would. Beneath them, the already damaged ground was further destroyed, crumbling under their feet at the collision of strengths. It didn't matter to her. She didn't care if the whole place came down around them. At least it would put an end to her torment. Her only wish was for Danzo to be hiding somewhere in the room, for him to be trapped. She wanted him to die with her so that he couldn't be a threat to anyone else.

Panting from the exertion, Sakura glanced up, only for all anger and defiance to leave her instantly at the sight of his eyes. It wasn't the intense concentration written all over his face that bothered her. Wasn't the fact he was also panting from having to summon so much chakra so quickly (he didn't have the greatest stamina). His eyes…

Due to him still holding onto her wrist, she couldn't escape. Even if she wasn't physically immobilised by him, just looking into his Mangekyō Sharingan froze her in place. It stole all breath from her lungs.

"Look away, Sakura," snarled Tsunade, her eyes wide.

Her eyes squeezed shut even though she knew deep down it was too late. She'd already looked into his eyes and any moment now the torture would begin all over again. Shit, she should have known. She-

"Open your eyes, Sakura."

He sounded just like him. Used that same tone. He sounded just like the friend she lost. The one who was always there for her, who always, without fail, dropped everything to make sure she was okay. That she wasn't alone in her suffering. They shared their pain.

"Sakura," he tried again.

"Stop it," she begged softly. "Let me go."

The grip on her fist tightened but didn't cause her any pain. "Forgive me, but there are many here who care for you, myself included. I believed you to be dead for two months," he murmured. Sakura was almost tempted to look up, for he sounded just like her dearest friend, sounded just like the man who she shared everything with. "I am not going to allow you to leave, even if that means stopping you myself."

"Itachi-"

She cut the fake Sasuke off, muttering, "Why should I care about a dead man's feelings?"

"We are not dead," came his calm disagreement. "There are many here who were able to flee during the ambush, Sakura. Your friend, the one you went through so much pain to protect, is also here, along with her sister and cousin."

Hinata?

 _They had Hinata?_

"Where is she?" Her softly spoken words belied the rage that had been reawakened inside her. How she kept it from showing on her face she wasn't entirely sure. All Sakura knew was that she had to be smart. She had to tread carefully. In her peripheral, she saw Tsunade nod once, agreeing with her.

"Safe," he assured her.

Was she, though? Did Hinata truly make it out of Konoha? There was no denying that she'd been in an awful state, unable to run in a simple straight line, never mind outrunning ROOT. What if she was captured again but kept in a separate cell? What if they were both still locked in that place and her current reality was actually a lie? What if–

"Sakura, calm down," her shishou ordered sternly and she flinched as the woman's hand came down on her shoulder. "We need to be smart about this if we want to get out."

No. There was no getting out. Everything she was seeing was a lie. It was all another way of toying with her mind, creating more cracks in her structure until she shattered into a thousand pieces, if she hadn't already. How much more could she withstand? Nothing. She couldn't. It was too much. She had to get out. _She had to get out._

Almost instinctively, her leg swept round, determined on taking out Itachi's legs, but he seemed to anticipate that and easily leaped over them. Then, he spun her until her back touched his chest, her arm twisted painfully between their bodies.

"Enough," he muttered more seriously.

"Itachi-"

"Stay out of this, Shisui," he ordered. She could feel his breath on her neck, could feel the warmth his body radiated, could smell him. He was… Her eyes widened. He was real. He wasn't like the clones Danzo sent to her cell on a daily basis. Itachi was real. Her friend was… "You are in no condition to go against us, Sakura and I refuse to see you harmed any more than you already are." She could feel his muted frustration, she knew it would steadily grow if she continued to fight him. "I will stand here for as long as I must to prevent that. Stiff muscles are nothing compared to the damage some of the shinobi here can do."

Green eyes drifted from the floor, staring up at the faces around her. Naruto wasn't even looking at her, his head turned in a different direction like he couldn't even meet her eye. Sasuke was staring straight at her blankly. Kakashi's single eye was downcast, like everything happening caused him pain. Her shishou looked enraged, but Sakura wasn't sure whether that was with her or with Itachi. The last face was…

Shisui.

She quickly averted her gaze as tears filled her eyes, slipping soundlessly down her cheeks. It was all a lie. The Shisui she was looking at was an impostor. The Shisui she knew could barely see a thing, let alone have his Sharingan – his Mangekyō – activated. Gods, she wished she could've seen the real thing. She wished she could've kept her promise to him.

"Sakura."

It even sounded like him, not that she should have expected any different. "Stop it."

"Look at me."

His voice was gentle, loving. It was exactly how he spoke to her in their final days together – no, Shisui had always spoken to her like that, hadn't he? Like she was the only good thing in his life? Or was it? She could remember someone she loved treating her badly. Calling her names. Making her feel worthless. Was it Shisui? Or… Sasuke, maybe? What had Shisui become to her, anyway? Was he just a friend? Had he been her lover?

The presence of another standing in front of her had Itachi loosening his hold, had him stepping away. Knowing exactly who it was, she refused to look up. She refused to acknowledge him. Her mind was spinning as she tried to remember her past, as she tried to recall the forgotten memories that had been locked away.

"Please," he begged quietly. "Don't ignore me."

He sounded so lost and alone. Like she was the only thing that kept him going. Why didn't he sound evil like her mind was telling her he should? Why did he sound almost intimate? Why did he sound like everyone else had suddenly disappeared from the room, like they were lovers? What the hell was going on? She couldn't stand the confusion. It was ripping her apart not knowing what was real or fake.

"This is real," he told her.

"No."

"Sakura."

" _No."_

" _Look at me."_

The feeling of his hand brushing her cheek made her flinch, but it also made her freeze. Her eyes squeezed shut and she mustered every ounce of self-control she could to keep herself from looking at him, even as her mind began to spin with questions that needed answers.

Who was he to her? He was an Uchiha, making him her enemy. But was he really an enemy? No, he had to be. He was trying to use his Sharingan against her just like Danzo said they would, because it always came down to that – the Uchiha Clan _had_ to be in control because they were power hungry. But she could vaguely recall the nights she and Shisui had stayed awake until the early hours of the morning talking about everything and nothing. Were they real? In all the screwing about with her mind, had Danzo planted them there? Had he taken memories from her? Had one of the Uchiha men planted them there?

It took her breath away when his forehead pressed to hers. A mixture of shock, fear and uncertainty stirred within her stomach, but the movement also brought a strange sense of familiarity, one she couldn't place.

 _Was Shisui truly an enemy?_

The others became non-existent to her, like they were outside the bubble Shisui had suddenly created around them, which felt as familiar as his touch.

 _What was he to her?_

"You don't have to be scared of me," he whispered. Was she truly hearing the pain in his voice? Was it real? Was he playing with her mind to bend her to his will just like Danzo had?

Whatever Shisui was or had been to her, it occurred to Sakura that his presence made more of an impact to her than the others'. With words alone he was capable of making her question absolutely everything. Did she like it? No. She didn't like feeling confused and lost, like she was missing a huge chunk of who she once was.

"She's shaking, Shisui," someone said firmly, bursting their bubble. "Back off."

"Sasuke-"

"Shut up, dobe," he snapped. "We're not getting anywhere by confusing her to the point of being frightened. All we can do is try and reverse what's been done."

What?

Her blood ran cold as her eyes snapped open, meeting the tender look that was slowly fading to stunned anger from the man standing before her. The blood red colour of his eyes had her backing out of his hold, but for the life of her, she couldn't look away from his eyes. He'd already caught her in a genjutsu, hadn't he? He was screwing with her mind. Making her see things that weren't really there. Trying to find out where her _real_ precious people were.

"Sakura-"

"Stay the hell away from me," she spat coldly, flinching when her back hit the wall. The others were closing in, each saying something to her but she couldn't hear them – didn't want to. Their words were all lies because they were nothing more than impostors. They were Danzo's henchmen really, all playing a part in finding out her secrets. "I don't know anything!"

"You-"

"Come anywhere near me and I'll rip your eyes out like you did to Hinata," snarled Sakura viciously, fingers digging into the wall behind her, uncaring of the way her nails split in response. She didn't see Naruto's grimace. "And I'll leave you to bleed out on the floor like you've done to-"

"Try it," Sasuke stated coldly, Sharingan activating. "You're useless in your condition, Sakura."

"Sasuke, stop," Itachi ordered, his eyes narrowing. "Do not antagonise Sakura. Even in her condition she is still dangerous – more so when frightened and angered, because she is unpredictable."

Stepping forward in the same way as he had earlier, Kakashi took up her vision, demanding her full attention as he said to her, "Just breathe, Sakura. They're not going to hurt you."

" _Bullshit!"_

Somewhere amongst the chaos, another's presence went undetected until the moment she all but tackled her to the ground, her arms wrapping around her securely, pushing Sakura's face into her neck, all the while gently shushing her. It seemed so routine, like it was something she'd done so many times in the past and as soon as the woman's scent filled Sakura's senses, she quickly realised that it _was_ routine. It _was_ real.

"Hinata," she choked back a sob, returning the hold and crushing the other girl to her.

"I need you to do something for me, Sakura-san," Hinata told her and pulled back, cupping her cheeks.

It hurt seeing the bandage covering her eye, seeing the strain on her bruised features. Throughout their time spent in that hellhole, she'd done all she possibly could to limit the torture Danzo inflicted on Hinata. She knew without even thinking about it that she wouldn't last long. If that meant more torture for Sakura, then so be it. She would deal with it. She would always deal with it.

"Anything."

The hold on her tightened like she was afraid of the reaction. "Trust them."

 _What?_

"They're _murderers_ ," she yelled disbelievingly, switching her embrace to an arm grab, giving her a firm shake. "What the hell have they done to your head, huh? _How can you so easily believe in their lies?"_

Hinata cried out, her features twisting into a painful grimace. "Sakura-san, please let go. You're-"

"You can't trust them," she snapped, shaking her again roughly. "Don't trust any of them."

Somebody grabbed her, another pinching her nerves and forcing her to release Hinata. There were hand prints on her arms which were already turning a deep shade of purple, but that was the least of her concerns. Whoever was holding her was holding her securely, locking her arms behind her back. She couldn't move. The position of her arms made it difficult to breathe in and out, her chest feeling tight. The room began to spin, her breathing coming in short, sharp pants and a dull ringing drowned out their talking.

"Hinata, get out. You can't trust any of them. They'll use their Sharingan on you. They'll use your Sharingan on you like Danzo used his on me! _Get out."_

The hands holding her twitched and Itachi stepped in front of her, looking strangely pale.

"Danzo has the Sharingan?"

* * *

 **A/N - I've had the week from hell. Ever get the feeling something's building and building, slowly choking you? I could feel it all week.**

 **Started with my nightmares coming back and making it difficult to sleep through an entire night without waking up terrified. Then I had the rudest customers at work. I'm falling behind with one of my assignments. I passed my driving test, but my car failed it's MOT, costing me even more on top of the insurance and road tax, etc - money I don't even have and had to borrow from my boyfriend, who I can't thank enough. Then, in the early hours of Wednesday morning (3:36am exactly, actually), when I got up to get ready for another day at work, my mum told me my nan passed away. Thursday, another fail on the MOT even though the car had been worked on. Turns out the first MOT place missed pretty dangerous faults in the car, so it's a good thing I went somewhere else.**

 **Yesterday, when I was stood at my till at work, trying to get rid of a queue of customers that seemed to be never ending, I was serving a couple of guys. One much younger than the other, though no younger than me (21), both pretty big in terms of muscle and both looked like builders. I thought nothing of it, just wanted to serve them as quickly and politely as possible to get onto the next customer, trying to keep my queue down. The item they were buying, a door that had had its packaging removed (meaning no ordinary barcode) and a clearance sticker slapped on the side with a fairly big price drop, told me straight away I had to call the department to double check with one of the guys up there. No problem, he came down as fast as he could and then took the men aside to look through a catalogue to see what had gone on. During that time, I followed my training and continued serving the other customers, but was prepared to let the guys jump the queue when my colleague had finished talking with them.**

 **About two minutes later, he comes up to me, tells me the barcode, walks off. I don't know if he told me to knock it down to the clearance price or leave it as it was, so left it at the price it came up as - wrong of me, I know. The older guy questioned me about it, I said I need to double check, just to make sure, as I'd been busy with other customers when they were discussing it. His response? "Fuck that. Why should I have to wait longer because you're clearly too stupid to listen to simple instructions? Tell you what, fucking take it all back. I'll go somewhere else."**

 **Keep in mind my week had been the shittest in a while, so I wasn't going to let some idiot talk to me like that. I nodded, said okay, took the other item he'd picked up (tub of adhesive, probably 2L I think) and was about to go onto the next customer, apologising for the delay. Then I hear him yell so loudly that it honestly made me jump, "Fucking rude bitch. Acting all high and mighty when you're the one in the fucking wrong. Trying to charge me full price you cheeky fucker." He slammed the his hand down so loudly that several of my colleagues came running over, thinking he'd hit me and then he said, "I still want that adhesive and don't try charging me more."**

 **I was shaking by that point and my chest was feeling all tight, like I couldn't take a deep breath no matter how hard I tried. I ignored that and told him calmly, making sure to keep my voice as level as possible, "After the way you've spoken to me, I have every right to refuse to serve you. If someone else wants to, that's fine. Go to them. But there's not a chance I'm serving you after that outburst."**

 **He came back with, "Are you fucking kidding me?" By that point, the colleague who was speaking to them about the door tried calming him down, all the while the younger guy was apologising profusely to me, looking like he'd seen this so many times before. He was screaming and swearing, getting in the face of another female colleague who's about 60 and has arthritis, screaming and spitting as he yelled, calling me every name he could think of. I couldn't even hear him properly by that point because of this ringing I had in my ears and because I was focusing too hard on trying to catch my breath, because suddenly I couldn't breathe at all. Somehow I managed to serve the elderly couple who was behind him, who were just as shaken up. They were telling me something, but I couldn't hear it. Just about managed to hand them their receipt. I heard one of the bigger guys at work yell back at the customer, saying, "Oi, don't fucking talk to her like that, mate."**

 **Then the guy was suddenly right behind me, shouting down my ear, "Give me the fucking adhesive you cheeky fucker."**

 **Another colleague of mine came running over once the door colleague managed to get him away from me, put her arm around me and got me out of there, telling me to do something. I can't even remember what happened after that or how I got separated from her, I just remember one of the duty managers (we work in a huge warehouse and there's so many of them) finding me in the disabled toilets, collapsed on the floor and panicking so badly I was heaving, because I couldn't breathe and with all the deep breaths I was taking, I was nearly making myself sick.**

 **Another manager drove me home after they'd sat me down for a cup of tea in the cafe and gave me some time to sit there and try and relax. I was shaking so badly, though. And I can remember being so warm that I had to take my work jacket and pinny off. My chest felt so constricted that I tried loosening my bra, thinking somehow that would help. Bless him the cafe guy came over with some victoria sponge and was all like "I won't crowd you like they're all doing, I know what panic attacks are like. Stay here as long as you need, sweetheart and shout me if you need anything. I'll just be over there."**

 **God, it was terrifying. Even now, just writing it and remembering what happened, I'm shaking. I know it could've been worse and some people go through things a thousand times worse than that on a daily basis, but I'm not used to confrontation and I'm not used to someone I don't even know get so aggressive with me. I'll stand up for myself against someone my own size and age, but that guy was easily in his late 30s, nearly twice my size in muscle alone. Not only that, but he was so close to me at one point that I could feel him breathing down my neck. So close that he could have hurt me if it weren't for the guys at work getting involved.**

 **I haven't had a panic attack in over a year. I thought I'd put all that behind me after I closed the door on my ex and all the shit he put me through.**

 **All that over a door - one that wasn't even nice, either.**

 **Usually, me and my boyfriend work near enough the same shifts, although he's on a different department and I'm on checkouts. I'm so glad he wasn't in, even though I could've done with his comfort. The other guys at work were all saying it was a good thing he wasn't in, too. He's not aggressive in the least and has to be the most laid back person I've ever met, but he would've snapped with the way that guy was talking to me. He gets annoyed with the way my sister talks to me when we're arguing, and that's not even a fraction of how horribly that customer spoke to me. And there's no way he would've missed it either, because staff from the other side of the warehouse came rushing over to help remove the customer, and the place is massive. Even knowing his personality and how he lets things slide, one of the guys at work was all like "Good job you weren't in yesterday, you would've beaten the shit out of him".**

 **They've been so supportive at work, though. Loads of people have been asking me how I was today, some saying I should've had the day off to make sure I didn't get too worked up again. Honestly, I kind of wish I had, because it was scary being on the till again and they had to move me to a department for the day because I was getting lightheaded and having chest pains again, but I'm not going to let a maniac like that guy scare me out of work. I enjoy my job for the most part. I get on with most of the staff. When the customers aren't being rude, I get on with the too. And I need the money too much and with Christmas around the corner, it'd take a while to find another decently paying job. I'm just dreading when I have to go back on a till.**

 **Sorry about the rant on my life story, guys. I needed somewhere to put that.**


	12. Walls That We Can't Break Through

**Chapter 11 – Walls That We Can't Break Through**

"Whose?" he demanded angrily. " _Whose eyes were they?"_

"Don't be ridiculous, Sasuke," snapped Naruto, blue eyes narrowing. "Like she'd be able to tell you that."

It had happened. Danzo had gotten his unworthy hands on the secrets of his clan, their most prized possession. He'd stolen their Sharingan. And Shisui, just as the two brothers did, knew exactly whose eyes he'd taken.

"Itachi," Sasuke snarled while rounding on him. The rage made him look deranged, twisting his features into a harsh scowl, his tomoe spinning wildly. "They're Father's, aren't they? That bastard took Father's eyes."

It made sense to take Uchiha Fugaku's eyes. He'd had the Mangekyō, after all. It surpassed all other Sharingan he no doubt collected that night. Just the thought had Shisui's stomach twisting and he felt hot wetness leaving a trail down his cheek as his own Mangekyō activated – the eyes Danzo wanted more than anyone else's. If he'd… What, exactly? Stayed behind? What would that have achieved other than give Danzo an ability-

"Shisui-san, your eyes are…"

He reached up numbly and felt his cheek, frowning down at the blood he found on his fingertips.

"Hinata," came Sakura's frantic shouting from somewhere in the background. "We have to get out of here. If we don't, they'll-"

He couldn't bear to hear any more, his heart begging of him to walk away while he still could. If he walked out now, the pain would be awful, yes, but he would survive. If he continued to watch Sakura disappear into insanity, it would be the final blow. He would not bounce back from something like that. He couldn't.

"Shisui."

Danzo had already taken so much from him – his standing in the village, his authority and reputation, he'd had a part in blinding him, he'd massacred his clan and now, now that bastard wanted Sakura, too. He was well on his way to taking her from him, too.

A deep, sharp pain radiated throughout his chest and it caused his knees – no, his entire body – to feel weak, made his breathing come in quick pants to try and ease the ache. The pain in his chest was nothing in comparison to the one that throbbed horrendously behind his eyes, threatening to immobilise him.

Gods, he was so tempted to look into her mind, wanted to see exactly what Danzo had done to her so that he could fuel his hatred for him, pushing him to train harder, to make himself stronger and more reliable. That way, he could protect Sakura. He would fight for her and his entire clan. He would make sure not a single death within those village walls was in vain.

"Danzo will pay for this," he muttered, ignoring Itachi shifting closer to him, almost like he was shielding Sakura's view of him. Was it so she wasn't given more reasons to fear him? "He has gone too far."

"So what do we do?" questioned Sasuke and his gaze narrowed.

"We do nothing for now," Itachi cut in firmly. As always, he tried to calm the situation. It didn't feel possible. "If we go after Danzo as we are, we'll all die." Like Sasuke's had, Itachi's eyes narrowed, but unlike his brother's, people actually reacted to his frustration. Hinata couldn't even bring herself to look in his direction, whereas the others shifted about, unsure of themselves. Shisui met his stare unfalteringly. "Is that what you both want?" he all but demanded. "To make their deaths worthless? Our parents, Sasuke? Our clan, Shisui?"

His patience snapped, the pain in his head doubling and nearly taking his legs out from beneath him. "Look at what he's done to her," he yelled, hand lashing out in Sakura's direction. "He's _destroyed_ her."

"I wouldn't advise talking about Sakura like that – like she's not in the room," Kakashi warned them seriously, his hand resting on her shoulder. Was he keeping her in place? Comforting her? Shisui couldn't bring himself to look in their direction for longer than a second.

"She's not," came Sasuke's blunt reply. "What Danzo's left of her isn't enough to call a person. That thing before us is nothing. Haruno Sakura is dead."

Was it the truth in his words that had him lashing out? Was it the unfairness of it all? Shisui wasn't sure. All he was sure about was the feeling of his throat in his hand as he spun, slamming him to the wall behind him. Unlike the previous time he'd done it, there was a darkness about Shisui. The blood coming from his eyes, the curling of his upper lip, the waves of pure anger and desperation, didn't help matters.

"Don't talk about her like that."

"Sh-She's-" The reddening Sasuke grabbed at his wrist, searching for the right nerves to pinch.

She wasn't dead. She wasn't. And she was still a person. She had hopes and fears and goals. For Sasuke to say such things… His grip twitched. It was almost a mirror of his own thoughts and it sickened Shisui. Were they all thinking along the same lines? Was there no hope for her at all?

A hand grabbed at his wrist and when Shisui looked up, he met the deadly gaze of Itachi, who despite appearing as calm and composed, was radiating the same aura of anger and desperation.

"Release my brother, Shisui," he ordered softly.

There wasn't much room to argue, not when he found the nerves Sasuke had blindly searched for and pinched them mercilessly, forcing Shisui to drop the younger Uchiha to the ground, barely holding back a hiss of pain.

He hacked and coughed before glaring up at him hatefully, barely managing to spit out, "Sh-She's nothing more… than a shell, i-if that. Look at her – Danzo d-drove her… to insanity. Sakura's _dead_. _She's gone!_ "

At the faintest of movement from his foot, Itachi stepped in front of him, eyes bleeding red. "Is this how it's supposed to work?" he questioned, the softness of his voice belying the dangerous territory Shisui knew he was stepping in. To threaten Sasuke in front of Itachi was a deadly mistake. Best friends or not, he would fight him with the intention of doing whatever necessary to protect his younger brother. That was how it had always been. It was how it would always be. It didn't matter what person Sasuke had become over the years spent with Orochimaru. Itachi would do anything to protect him. "How are we supposed to take back Konoha if we're at each other's throats?"

"He's-"

"Sasuke is cynical, Shisui. He's also a child." His voice grew harder, eyes narrowing. "Despite what he says or how much he angers you, I will not allow you to attack him. If that means fighting with my closest friend, then so be it."

"That's enough," came Kakashi's annoyed order. Nodding once to Naruto, who hesitantly approached a shaking Sakura with a weak smile, he stepped in the centre of them all, standing as tall as one could with a posture like his. "The last thing we need right now is more division. Konoha lost many shinobi that night – powerful shinobi. Family. Friends. Don't let him take anyone else from us."

"He's already taken her," Sasuke muttered and he rubbed at his throat, only just pulling himself to his feet. The look on his red face, despite his eyes being closed, was intense concentration. But then his eyes snapped open, the deep loathing they revealed having nothing to do with their sudden nervousness of the raging boy. "Someone who was innocent in all of this, someone who trained to become a medic to help people. _He killed her."_

There was no denying it, was there? All along, Shisui had foolishly worried about his closest friend's feelings towards Haruno Sakura, when really, Itachi was the least of his worries. Why? Because if there was one thing he would never do, it was hurt Sasuke. If the two happened to fall for the same woman, Itachi would back down without hesitation, putting his younger brother's feelings before his own. And how could Shisui be so sure of Sasuke's feelings for Sakura?

What other reason would cause his eyes to transform? What else would create such an intense trauma that it activated his Mangekyō? Sasuke truly believed the Haruno Sakura he'd come to love was dead.

"Sasuke, you-" Naruto mumbled, only to be cut off by the woman on his other side, who shook her head in silent warning, her single eye wary of meeting theirs.

"She did nothing to him," he snarled. "He had no reason to do this to her!"

Even Itachi was at a loss, although it only lasted for a few moments. Once his shock subsided, he was quick to intervene, watching his brother with hidden wariness. "Whether he had no reason or not, we cannot change what's happened. All we can do is hope that it can be reversed."

No longer feeling vengeful, only numb, Shisui spared the woman he loved a final glance. Her stunning green eyes (more beautiful than he ever could have imagined) were wide, staring between himself and Sasuke fearfully. There was no affection there. No hesitant love. There was only a stone cold fear that wound itself around his heart, squeezing to the point where it caused a vicious throbbing.

Sasuke was right.

She was gone.

The Haruno Sakura he loved was dead.

* * *

He avoided her after that. Or she avoided him. It didn't matter which it was. Either way, they didn't cross paths. Was he being ridiculous? Honestly? Shisui wasn't even sure anymore. He wasn't sure of anything. It felt like something important was missing from his life, something that was equally as important as his vital organs. Danzo had carved a hole in his body and took one of them and now, he was just barely clinging on.

He had no idea it would hurt _more_ having her there but unable to be with her. The distance, the unknown, had made it easier. With the distance between them, it was easy lying to himself that all was well between them. There hadn't been any reason to believe there was anything _wrong_. In his mind, he envisioned helping her through it all. He imagined he was capable of getting close enough to help.

Despite the second assault on the younger Uchiha, Sasuke remained close to him. They understood one another's pain on a level no one else did. Sure, others had lost their lovers, but they hadn't lost them in the same way. They weren't forced to see the shell of said lover every day, knowing that that person would never be the same again. They'd never smile at them in the same way, or comfort them when they needed it. They had to live with the ghost of the woman they'd loved.

Sasuke's unspoken confession had shocked many – including his supposedly closest friend, Uzumaki Naruto. Whatever went on between them, however, was none of his concern, so Shisui avoided them when they were together. He avoided most people, now that he thought about it. As did Sasuke.

It didn't bother him that Sasuke was in love with Sakura. What had struck him was the helplessness that was in Sasuke's eyes. The reluctant acceptance. He believed – no, he _knew_ they'd lost Sakura. Danzo had taken her from him. He'd taken her from them both. And they could never forgive that. But there was nothing they could do. From what he'd heard: Sasuke couldn't get near Sakura, making Shisui question whether he'd tried something already.

Glancing at the younger Uchiha brooding by his side, Shisui narrowed his eyes fractionally, silently pondering how far he was willing to go to bring Sakura back. He'd proclaimed to undo the damage himself, effectively terrifying her. Had he gone through with that? Was that why she was being watched closely by Itachi and Kakashi? Why Sasuke couldn't get anywhere near her? Would it be the same if he was to try? Not undoing the damage, but approaching her. Would he be able to at least talk with her?

No. He couldn't. If he did that, the ache in his chest would increase. It was bad enough knowing she was there with them. In the hideout. Under the same roof. He couldn't even look at her when they were in the same room, for that ache in his heart caused a searing pain to build up behind his eyes, the heartbreak fuelling the fire belonging to his rage and expanding it to new heights.

 _He took her._

 _Danzo killed Sakura._

They were seated in the same place they'd waited loyally for Itachi's return: in the mouth of the cave leading to the hideout. It was easier that way, he believed. They didn't have to see Sakura. Childish, maybe. But it eased the ache somewhat when they didn't have to watch the woman they'd come to love acting like a stranger. Maybe it was easier for him than Sasuke, for he'd barely seen her and only knew her personality, but there was strength in numbers. Instead of drifting further apart due to their feelings for the same woman, they became closer, in a way. They barely spoke a word to one another, but they were there.

The scenery was the same as it always was: the sea of trees rustling in the wind that steadily picked up as the seasons changed. Autumn was almost over, making way for winter, which was sure to cause many problems. There would be illnesses – hell, there already _were_ illnesses. Apparently it started with one child. Now, his mother was also ill, along with a few others. That number would quadruple by the time winter arrived unless they acted quickly. Briefly, Shisui wondered if Sakura would do anything to help, though quickly dismissed those thoughts. What she did was no longer his concern.

The woman he loved was dead.

* * *

" _Me? Hokage?" she repeated with a light-hearted giggle that sounded slightly muffled. Had she covered her mouth with her hand, perhaps?_

" _It's what many aspire to be," Shisui explained. "I assumed you would be one of them considering your connection to the Godaime."_

 _They were sitting in his back garden – her admiring the view, him enjoying the fresh air and the quiet night. Shisui longed to see the night sky once more. He wanted to be able to sit beside Sakura and admire the dark colours of the sky, wanted to look for the star constellations he'd learned about. He wished to see how Sakura looked when bathed in the moon's light. Was she as beautiful as the heart he'd fallen so helplessly for?_

" _Becoming Hokage is Naruto's dream," came her reply and he heard the sound of her hands pressing down behind her, telling him she was leaning back. Then, there was a sigh. Not a negative sigh, as far as he could tell. She sounded content. At peace. "It's a dream – no, a goal – I want to protect more than anything."_

 _She'd told him about Uzumaki Naruto several times before. From what he'd gathered of her stories, he was an unpredictable boy who often ran into battles without realising what he was up against. He'd run in screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs, throwing punches and asking questions later. The kind of shinobi Shisui couldn't respect. He didn't tell her that, of course. To do so would upset her._

" _And that is your dream? Above all else, you want to see Uzumaki succeed in his goal?"_

 _Sakura made a cheerful sound of agreement and he imagined what her smile looked like. It wouldn't be a toothy smile. It would be small – not because she had a small mouth, but because it would be a shy smile. And her eyes would crease, her entire face lighting up. Shisui wondered how close his imagination was to the real thing. Beauty wasn't the most important factor, but it_ was _a bonus, he wouldn't lie._

" _What about you? What're your dreams?"_

 _His dreams? It was a difficult question to answer, in all honesty, for Shisui felt like an entirely different person after waking up in the hospital eight years into the future. Before then, he would have said that his dream was to see the conflict between the village and his clan end peacefully. Now he simply wanted to_ see _. A selfish dream, he would say, but it was still his dream nonetheless._

 _More than likely knowing where his thoughts had gone, considering his silence, Sakura's voice brightened, like she was smiling at him. "I'm getting pretty hungry, are you?"_

 _If he answered truthfully (no), she would only bring him food anyway, as he apparently had to keep his strength up, although he never saw the point. All Shisui did nowadays was lounge around his home, unable to do even the most mundane tasks. One would think that being a shinobi would have prepared him somewhat for suddenly being blind, but it hadn't in the least. Everything was so disorientating._

" _Sure."_

* * *

Heavy eyes stared up at the ceiling that was almost lost in the darkness. Shisui longed for a peaceful sleep, one that wasn't plagued by memories or nightmares. He wasn't sure which was worse: remembering the woman Sakura had once been, or living through the nightmare of losing her over and over again, watching her personality as it was warped into someone else's.

Shisui had accepted that the pain in his chest would never ease up. It'd only been three days since he admitted she was gone, but he knew he had work to do and couldn't continue moping around. Sakura was gone. There was nothing more to it. As much as he wished there was a tiny piece of her old personality in that shell of a woman, there probably wasn't. Danzo would have been thorough in breaking her.

The sounds of someone throwing up to his left had him sighing, the smell causing him to pull the sleeping bag higher, covering the lower half of his face with it. Surprisingly, he felt Itachi's chakra react to the ill boy, felt his friend move closer to him. He'd always been a gentle child, though. Why it surprised him all of a sudden, Shisui wasn't sure. Perhaps because that kindness was usually directed towards Sasuke?

" _He's getting worse,"_ the mother of the child whispered brokenly, who was slowly growing as sick as him. The pain in her voice was undeniable and it had him shutting his eyes. With the way the boy was deteriorating, he doubted he'd make it through the winter. Not unless they suddenly had an influx of medics. Not unless the best medic in the world snapped back to her old self. " _Itachi-sama, what should I do?"_

There was a falter in his reply and Shisui knew it was because of the honorific added to his name. Itachi had always disliked it. " _I will go to the town west of here tomorrow and see what I can gather."_

" _What about that medic?"_ she questioned desperately. " _The Hokage's apprentice?"_

Curiosity had Shisui glancing over at them, though he had to admit he wasn't prepared to find Itachi's gaze already settled on him, the eerie glow of his Sharingan surprising him further. Had he done something? Refusing to look away or appear as weak, he stared back. Itachi had to look away at some point, otherwise he'd be considered rude. His friend disliked that more than the unnecessary honorifics. Finally, he glanced down at the crouched woman who was clutching her shaking son to her chest.

"Forgive me, but Sakura is still severely injured and cannot-"

"But what am I supposed to do?" her voice was rising, temper snapping. The hold on her son tightened when he fell back into her chest, weakened from his vomiting. "This is _my son_. I'm not watching him die here."

Was there really any other choice nowadays? It felt as though they were watching all their loved ones die one by one. It was a pessimistic thought, sure, but it was the truth, wasn't it? They were all helpless. So disgustingly helpless. They couldn't do anything. They couldn't save anyone. They were weak. They were all so, _so_ weak compared to Danzo and his ROOT operatives. There was nothing any of them could do. Not in the state they were in.

They needed to be stronger.

Unzipping his sleeping bag, Shisui silently slid out from it, standing and leaving the area. On his way towards the mouth of the cave, he had to pass the makeshift medical room, his heart leaping into his throat. The candles were still lit and he was a slave to his body as he came to a halt just short of the archway, leaning back against the wall. He could sense several strong chakra signatures within the room – no doubt protecting the injured. Uzumaki Naruto was among them, as was Hatake Kakashi. The third chakra belonged to Hyuuga Neji, if he wasn't mistaken. Wait, it appeared as though the teammate of Neji (Tenten, was it?) was there, too.

" _Get that away from me,"_ came the cold, detached voice of the woman he'd fallen for.

" _Sakura-san, please try to eat something,"_ came the soft plea of Hyuuga Hinata.

It was followed by the other woman as she said, " _We're going to need your strength."_

Yes, they needed Sakura's strength. Her healing abilities (from what he'd experienced _and_ heard of) were phenomenal. There was a reason why she was the best medical-nin in the world, for her skills were now unrivalled. If they were able to utilise her powers, if they had a medic who could also fight on the front lines, fighting alongside them, it would… Their chances of taking Konoha back would rise significantly.

But…

The woman in that room was not Haruno Sakura. She was not the best medical-nin in the world. They couldn't utilise the powers of a woman who was losing her mind. She was too much of a liability.

" _Feed someone who needs it."_

Dark eyes widened fractionally.

While the words were spoken coldly, like she couldn't care in the least, the fact that she wanted the food to go to someone who needed it meant there was just the slightest of chances that–

No.

Haruno Sakura was dead.

Ignoring the stinging of his eyes, he continued on his way to the mouth of the cave, determined on returning to his training and in response to his rampant emotions, his Mangekyō activated almost of its own accord.

Once he was strong enough, Danzo would pay for what he'd done to Konoha, to his clan. He would suffer for what he had done to Sakura.

He would make sure of it.

* * *

 **A/N - So... Never thought I'd say this because after everything in the past, I'd say I'm not much of a romantic, but I'm engaged. My boyfriend and I were relaxing on our day off, goofing around, laughing about something when he suddenly turned to me and said, "I love you so much. Will you marry me?" And I love that it wasn't some overly huge gesture like many videos online show. It was just the two of us goofing around, relaxing and being ourselves. It just feels so right.**

 **Oh, and something that's equally as great: I got him into Naruto. He only started it a week or two ago and he's nearly finished part 1. I'm so proud of him. He's watching it in the English dub, but I suppose I can forgive that. Apparently when he reads subtitles, he's reading it in his own voice and not the character's (weirdo). I just feel bad that he's putting up with Naruto's constant BELIEVE IT. Personally, I think it always sounds like Naruto needs to cough and Sakura sounds like Barbie, for some reason.**

 **Anyways, I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, so it was only a quick update just to let you all know I'm still here and continuing to work on D.E. It's just difficult finding to the time to really get stuck into it, you know? I've been saying this for a while, so I'm going to _stop_ saying it now, because you're all probably getting sick of it: I'm sorry for not replying much. It's so hectic here, but I don't feel like going into it. Just know that I _am_ still writing whenever I find the time, even if it's only 200 words every other day/week. I say this in all of my stories, but I'll say it here, too: I'll never give up on a story or leave it on incomplete. Even if it takes a while to be finished, it _will_ be finished. I promise.**


	13. As Long As I Survive

**Chapter 12 – As Long As I Survive**

Cold. Everything felt cold. And no matter what she did, she couldn't get comfortable. It felt as though something was missing. Like she wasn't doing something. Something that was… important to her? What was it? Why was it important to her? What was she supposed to do?

Glancing up from the meal they'd set on the table, she saw both Hinata and Tenten digging into their own meals. Naruto, on the other hand, was watching her closely. Whenever she met his eye he quickly averted his gaze, pretending to focus on the food. On the other side of the room sat Kakashi, his nose buried in a familiar orange book. He'd finished his meal in a matter of seconds.

Kakashi… On some level, she could trust him. Whenever she thought of the Copy-nin, all Sakura saw were the times he had protected her and kept her safe – as blurry as they may be, she was fairly certain the memories were real. Hinata, Sakura knew she could fully trust. That woman was the reason she was in the state she was currently in, but Sakura would not reverse their positions for the world. Protecting Hinata. That had been her personal mission ever since the torture began. Was it to remain that way? Or was she supposed to have a new mission now?

The others had zero trust as far as she was concerned.

Those with the Sharingan (except for Kakashi) definitely had none of her trust. Would they be able to earn it? Possibly not. Uchiha Sasuke may have been her teammate, but where had he been when she was being tortured? Where was he when she was being mind-fucked by Danzo? He had even tried using his own Sharingan against her, to 'undo what had been done'.

"Bastard."

Naruto glanced up at her and frowned, pausing in his eating. "What?"

Sakura ignored him.

Could she trust Naruto? Like the others, he had abandoned her. When she returned he hadn't acted the way her memories told her he would. Instead of greeting her with grins and hugs, Naruto had kept his distance and stuck close to Hinata. The change… What happened? He hadn't even thanked her for protecting the girl he was interested in.

Realisation had her freezing.

 _It wasn't Naruto._

That had to be it. It wasn't Naruto. Whoever it was, it was an impostor. A fake. The real Naruto wouldn't be acting like that one currently was. Quiet. To himself. Not showing a single ounce of gratitude. Sakura's eyes snapped up to Naruto's and narrowed dangerously, fists clenching. He didn't even notice. Why had nobody else noticed that it wasn't Naruto?

"You-"

"Sakura," a voice suddenly murmured from behind her, making Sakura jump and cut off from her accusation. "Will you join me? There is something we must discuss."

Green eyes narrowed at the sight of Uchiha Itachi. He'd remained by her side since she woke up, always telling her to rest and not concern herself with the others. But she'd noticed the way the others at the hideout watched her whenever they walked by the medical room, like they were expecting something from her. What was it? What the hell did they want from her?

"You really are clueless," came the annoyed mutter of her shishou, who sat on her bed with her legs crossed, leaning back on her hands. "Straighten your thoughts out, kid."

How? Everything was scrambled and it hurt trying to sort through it all. It physically pained her sometimes. Like everything had been locked away and she was only allowed snippets of her own memories or personality. To try and access them without permission brought forth a vicious throbbing so intense it threatened to immobilise her. Whatever Danzo had done to her mind… He certainly didn't want her to have access to her old memories. He didn't want her to remember her old life.

* * *

 _It was way past two in the morning, yet there they sat, drinking tea and talking about their shared pain, confiding in one another about the betrayal they felt. Due to being so busy with missions, it was the only time they could talk. Did it look suspicious? Without a doubt. People would soon start spreading rumours. Did it matter? No. They knew the truth._

 _The night sky was almost fully black, the only thing illuminating it being the odd star. They were seated in the training grounds Team Seven had often used, leaning back against the wooden post Naruto had been tied to. Their sides brushed together and Sakura didn't need the wind to blow his scent towards her for her to know he'd recently showered. Of course, she already knew he would have. He refused to show her the darkness of ANBU, even through something as simple as his scent._

 _Resting her head on his shoulder, she shut her eyes, breathing in his comfort while silently offering her own. He was quieter than usual that night, making her worry grow._

" _We'll get him back," she vowed, free hand pressing to his arm after slipping through his elbow. "Even if we have to drag him home."_

 _Itachi smiled faintly, hesitating for a moment before his cheek lowered to the top of her head. "Aa."_

* * *

Intimacy? That… wasn't right, was it? The narrowing of her eyes slowly subsided, leaving Sakura to stare up at the man unsurely. Was Danzo screwing with her mind or was that a genuine memory of hers? Gods, she wanted to tear her hair out trying to figure it all out.

 _Back to the beginning,_ she told herself. _Remember the small things and work up to the bigger stuff._ But it was all big stuff, wasn't it? From what she'd felt or seen, she'd once been in love Sasuke – with all her heart, if her memories weren't exaggerated or twisted. But if that was the case, then why would she display such intimacy with Itachi, his older brother? Why would they grow so confusingly close? Then there was Shisui, too. Itachi's closest friend. The one she'd kissed and…

It was all so confusing. Out of all the things Danzo could do to screw with her, why did he choose to do something so juvenile? Was there a reason why he was complicating her supposed love life? What the hell was he hoping would happen? The three men would cave to their basic instincts and fight to the death over her? That she'd mess with their heads so greatly that it-

* * *

" _I believe it's deeper than merely wanting more power," Itachi argued gently, awkwardly placing his hand atop of her head, trying to silence her wailing. "Our clan may appear as uncaring and emotionless, but that is far from the truth. Please do not underestimate our love for another, Sakura."_

 _Watery green eyes stared up at him unsurely, expression puckering with a frown. "W-What?"_

" _I believe something may have triggered Sasuke. Something must have happened that pushed him into believing he needed the power Orochimaru offered him. Perhaps someone he loves dearly was harmed and he was unable to help?" He wasn't looking at her, instead staring out at the village, his own features appearing thoughtful. "Have you ever heard of the Curse of Hatred?"_

* * *

Was that it?

The realisation on her face had Itachi's smoothing out, had him holding out his hand. "You've figured it out."

He already knew? Was it true, then? Was Danzo hoping to trigger them? Surely he wasn't that stupid?

"Come," he ordered. "There is something I must show you."

She didn't hesitate to take his hand, dismissing the others as he guided her from the room. Where he was taking her, she had no idea. But he didn't let go of her hand for a second, leading her to believe he'd grown accustomed to handling her in a such a way. Was that right? Or was that the way she'd handled Sasuke? Or was it Shisui? No, it was Shisui, wasn't it? He'd been blind and had no way of navigating-

"I want to show you why you must remember who you are."

What? Yanking on her hand and forcing them to a halt, she glared up at him angrily, unafraid to show her distrust. "Why?" she snarled, yanking once more to force him to face her. He stared her down calmly, patiently, and it made her angrier. "So that you can take advantage of-"

"I would never take advantage of you."

"Then why the hell do you need me to remember who I am? I-"

Once again, Itachi cut her off, murmuring, "Before you try to unravel the mess Danzo made of your mind, you must first remember _why_ he values you."

She was growing extremely tired of feeling so confused all the time. It was as though every time she completed one puzzle, another three took its place, each growing more difficult with every completion. "Values me? Have you seen what he did to me?"

"Notice how he didn't kill you like he did many others who defied him. He needs you alive, Sakura." Turning around again, his hold increased, tugging her along gently. "Allow me to show you why you are so valued."

"If you use that damned Sharingan, I'll rip it straight out of your-"

"You have my word that I will never use my Sharingan against you."

"Smooth," her shishou muttered in her other ear, the blonde standing close to her side. "This one has always had a way with words, Sakura. Watch him."

"I know," she said in reply to Tsunade, unknowingly replying to Itachi, too. Her words had him sending a minute smile over his shoulder, his eyes softening – the only reason why she figured out he thought she'd answered his promise.

Had there been any romantic feelings between them? Or were her memories a lie? Were they exaggerated? Did that mean she'd fallen out of love with Sasuke? What about Shisui? Had she fallen out of love with Itachi for Shisui? Messing with her head was one thing, but her heart… She could never forgive that. It made her hatred for him grow, if that was even possible. Not only was her heart being trampled on like it meant nothing, but so were others-

"Don't pity these men, Sakura," Tsunade snapped. "That's what they want."

Was it? How could she be so sure? As far as Sakura was concerned, her shishou hadn't known any of the three men in the way she had. She'd only seen them as shinobi. As powerful assets for Konoha (or, in Sasuke's case, a pain in her ass). With or without memories, she…

"You… what?" pushed her shishou, honey brown eyes daring Sakura to go against her.

It took her too long to realise Itachi had taken her to the main hall in the hideout. There was so much suffering, she spotted instantly. And for some odd reason many glanced in her direction like _she_ was the cause of it – no, not the cause. Their gazes were far too hopeful for her to be the villain. What was it, then? Their rescuer? How foolish. How in the hell was she supposed to save others when she couldn't even save herself? When she couldn't even finish one meaningful thought without getting confused and angry?

She'd walked by the main hall a few times in the past few days, but never thought to enter it for purely selfish reasons. She didn't want to see the others. Didn't want them seeing her. She didn't want to see their suffering because…

She pulled away from Itachi, shaking hands balling into fists, eyes widening a fraction in response to the sudden clenching of her heart. Why did it make her hurt? Witnessing their suffering, seeing their pitiful faces staring at her with such hope. They looked to her like she could ease all the pain, but why? How could they assume something so stupid?

A hand falling to her shoulder had her flinching, green eyes darting upwards to find Kakashi watching her encouragingly, his single eye then assessing the hall. "This is who you are, Sakura. I believe Itachi was trying to tell you not to worry about the curse until you find yourself again."

But why would he say that? Why would he do something so selfless? It would leave him and the others in pain, wouldn't it?

"Who am I?" she questioned softly, returning to watching the hopeful people surrounding them.

Some were laying in their beds, probably unable to get up if that awful smell she was picking up on meant anything. Was it sickness? It was familiar, whatever it was. Tugging away at something in her mind, leaving her grasping at random thoughts and memories to try and remember why it was so familiar. There was something else her sensitive nose was picking up on, though. Something just as familiar as the other scent, something that had her eyes narrowing. It brought forth a strange feeling in her chest, made her palms tingle oddly, fingers twitching to weave… hand signs? Why?

"Damn it, Sakura," Tsunade snapped with clear agitation. "You're a medic."

A medic?

Taking another deep breath through her nose, she tried to focus on the scents, curiosity begging her to.

* * *

" _Focus, Sakura."_

 _Nodding quickly, she strengthened her stance, green eyes focused intently on the steady flow of chakra she could see encasing her hands and the animal before her. The fish was almost dead, the only thing keeping it alive being her chakra and she had a time limit to resuscitate it. If she failed, it would die._ _Sweat beaded on her brow, slowly slipping down her temple. Keeping her chakra steady was a challenge, even for someone as gifted as herself (in terms of chakra control, she meant). The battle to keep the fish alive was draining and Sakura could feel the tell-tale signs of chakra depletion creeping up on her. She'd only been at it five minutes, if that._

" _Push through it," encouraged Tsunade. She didn't lean forward eagerly in her seat, didn't show any outward excitement other than the lifting of an eyebrow. "If you don't push through that wall now, you never will."_

I know that already _, she snapped back at her (inwardly, of course – she didn't have a death wish)._ _She grit her teeth and willed herself with every fibre of her being to persevere. To hold out just that little bit longer._ Please _, Sakura begged._ Please let me do this _._

 _The effort of keeping her chakra steady was enough to make her hands shake and she began to pant, the edges of her vision blurring. Tsunade was a hard ass, there was no doubt about it, but it wasn't her shishou who was pushing her so hard in that moment in time and the reminder of her words not too long ago had her determination doubling._

"Unless you're willing to push yourself to the edge every time, unless you're serious about this, do _not_ waste my time. I will not have weak medics who give up easily."

 _Harsh? Maybe. Motivating?_ _Hell yeah._

 _With one last burst of chakra, the tail of the fish suddenly sprang to life, soon followed by the entire body as it struggled on the table. After only a few seconds, it managed to bounce its way over to the tank Tsunade kept next to the table._

" _Shannaro," she whispered, the green glow of chakra vanishing instantly._

 _Her world span, her relief and pride only momentary, but her fall towards the ground was just as fleeting as those emotions and she was soon gifted with the sight of her shishou's proud smirk, her honey brown eyes creasing._

" _Well done, Sakura," she said earnestly, holding her up with gentle hands. "I'm proud of you."_

* * *

Tsunade.

Her shishou was…

A weight suddenly made itself known, crushing down on her chest. It wasn't nearly as overwhelming as the realisation that had her backing up, bumping into someone's chest. She was quick to move away, covering her ears because _it was there_. Her blood. They were going to use it against her again. They were going to make her drink it, or drip it up her nose while holding her upside down, or… or…

"Shishou," she cried out, spinning on her heel to try and spot the head of blonde hair. Where was she? _Where was she?_ She needed her. The reassurance. The safety. The person who knew exactly what she was thinking, who helped her sort through her strategies. " _Shishou!"_

Sakura failed to notice the cowering children as they clung to one another or their parents. She couldn't hear Itachi as he tried to calm her. Didn't notice Kakashi trying to usher her from the room. She was far too concerned with finding Tsunade.

 _She wasn't dead. She wasn't. Couldn't be. No._

"Move," she ordered of Itachi when he stood in her way. "I said _move."_

"No," he replied simply, staring her down. "You are terrifying the children, Sakura."

The children? Who cared about the fucking children? Her shishou was nowhere to be seen and she was fairly certain Itachi was the one behind it. She'd been by her side until Sakura foolishly took her eyes off her, after she'd so _stupidly_ ignored Tsunade's warning about him. He'd taken her, hadn't he? It was like Danzo said: the Uchiha Clan couldn't be trusted. They'd taken Tsunade from her. They killed her.

"Sakura-"

"Don't touch me," she warned darkly, keeping both Itachi and Kakashi in her line of view as she slowly backed away from them, blindly reaching out behind her until her fingertips met with smooth stone. Just as Itachi opened his mouth, she cut him off, snapping, _"Don't."_ She felt her way across the wall, eyes narrowing as she called out, "Shishou?"

She had to be there. She couldn't be dead. What would she do if she was? What would become of her? She needed her shishou.

When she finally found the archway, Sakura grabbed the edge of the wall, glaring at the two men one last time before spinning quickly, prepared to run as though her life depended on it (after all, the hideout wasn't as big as she originally thought, so there weren't many places Tsunade could be held captive), only to be met with an unmovable chest. She grimaced as her nose was squashed against it, but fought hard to remain upright, refusing to be knocked down by the coward who attempted to sneak up on her.

"I swear I'm going to-" She cut herself off when she was met with blood red eyes, anger vanishing rapidly until she could only stare numbly at the man who'd stopped her escape without even trying. "Y-You-"

Much like his chest upon the collision, Uchiha Shisui's features were unmovable, though she could have sworn there was a sadness in his eyes as he held her gaze. "Calm yourself, Sakura."

No, he wasn't real. Shisui couldn't even see, let alone activate his Sharingan. So… Was she back in that cell? Wait, where was she? Breaking away from his stare, she glanced around, quickly taking note of the clan's emblem engraved into the wall, just like it was engraved on her. Why? Why did she belong to the Uchiha like the hideout did? Or was she branded because of her feelings for the three men? Was she a whore? Was that what Danzo was trying to tell her? She was the Uchiha Clan's whore?

"Who am I?" she whispered brokenly, meeting his eyes once more. There was an intense fear that threatened to choke the life out of her, but if he wasn't real, then why should she fear his eyes? It wasn't the real Sharingan. They weren't out of her cell. Tsunade was probably being kept in a different, more discreet cell so that the villagers wouldn't find out about her survival. Just like before. " _Who am I?"_

It surprised her when a single tear slipped down his cheek, when he whispered just as brokenly in return, "I don't know."

* * *

 **A/N - I wanted to update on Christmas Day for you all, but unfortunately I was driving most of the day so that my sister could spend Christmas with us (she lives in a different town). However, the good news is that I now have a month off work, so when I'm not doing uni work, I can write.**

 **Thank you so much to those of you who congratulated me on my engagement! It truly means a lot to me.**

 **Also, you may have noticed the new cover art for the story. It was created by TobisSenpai and I'm in love with it. It fits the story so perfectly, right? Thank you for creating it!**


	14. You Will Be Part Of Me

**Chapter 13 – You Will Be Part Of Me**

" _I don't know."_

Gods, why had he said that to her? The look on her face… It was like his lack of faith in her, and his giving _up_ on her, broke her heart – she just didn't know that it did. Oh, she experienced the pain and from the look of things, it was intense. She simply couldn't understand _why_ she was in pain and it made her angry.

But what was he supposed to do? Lie to her? Pretend like everything was okay when it wasn't? When he truly believed it never would be okay?

Watching his hand intensely, he shifted his fingers, changing his grip on a single kunai to several. It happened within the blink of an eye, much too fast for anyone to keep up with.

Resuming his training was now his top priority. He had to become stronger. Had to sharpen his skills. No muscles on his features shifted as the kunai from his hand disappeared, the sounds of them becoming embedded deeply into his makeshift targets being the only indicator of his practice.

He was further into the hideout than what any of the others had been previously – as far as he could tell, at least. Each section of the hideout they'd been living in held some form of evidence of their being there. The part he trained in, however, did not. It hadn't been touched in decades, possibly longer. Didn't they know it was there?

Before each training session, Shisui would start by lighting the torches on the wall with a fire style jutsu. It was imperative to keep it tame. His chakra control had to be precise. Otherwise, he would damage the hideout. If the flame was truly uncontrollable, he could even hurt Sa–

 _Thud. Thud. Thud._

Frustratingly, his kunai never landed on the bulls-eye. His sight wasn't one hundred percent without his Sharingan, but despite that, he continued to train without it. He didn't want to rely so heavily on it again, especially if he ended up losing his sight once more. No, this time, if he was to lose his sight, he would _not_ lose his abilities also. It would take time to adjust, no doubt, but it wouldn't keep him down for the same excruciating amount of time.

He would surpass his previous strength.

He would make Danzo pay for all he'd taken from him.

* * *

Restlessness was a common emotion amongst the shinobi at the hideout. They'd come from back-to-back missions where their lives were constantly on the line, where they were being of use to their village and helping protect it, to sitting around, barely even able to provide for the civilians. Even he – the man who'd refused to leave his home most days after returning – was growing restless. Was it because of his strained relationship with Sakura? Was it her presence at the hideout? Did he merely want space from her to ease the aching of his heart?

What was he supposed to do? Avoiding her was impossible. No matter how hard he tried – no matter how hard the _others_ tried – to keep them separated, they always ended up in each other's paths. Fate was such a cruel thing.

Before losing his sight, Shisui would have dealt with the issue by taking missions – something all shinobi did when their personal lives became too stressful. It was a poor attempt to separate himself from the problem. At the hideout, he obviously couldn't do that. He was at a loss. Trapped. Now that he was back within arm's reach, Itachi wasn't going to allow him the freedom to wander off. Not while he was so vulnerable and Danzo so livid. He would never risk his closest friend's life.

Was it selfish for Shisui to wish he would?

Gods, he sounded so whiny.

" _Mama?"_ There was a horrendous coughing fit that followed the weak voice, one that seemed to drain the person of their energy as they slumped back into their sleeping bag. " _M-Mama."_

Speaking of whiny…

Shisui glanced in the direction of the young boy, concealing his worry as he watched how weak he'd become. When he first arrived, it'd been obvious he was sick. Unable to get out of bed, unable to eat much. Only capable of drinking water, really. Now, he was throwing up anything that he ate or drank. He couldn't even sit up by himself. Some days he could barely keep his eyes open. The yet to be diagnosed illness was freaking many of the other refugees out.

" _Your mother is gathering clean clothing and a washcloth,"_ came a soothing reply.

It wasn't a foreign sight seeing Itachi acting so caring – well, it wasn't acting, for he'd felt the same way towards Sasuke, but that was why it _was_ a little strange. Previously, he'd only cared for Sasuke in such an open way. Was he possibly reminiscing the days when his brother wasn't trapped in the Curse of Hatred?

The coughing fit from moments before still caused his body to spasm, his breathing raspy and uneven. In the dim lighting of the hideout, they could see the faint sheen of sweat coating his body and Shisui sighed, standing from his own sleeping bag to join the two.

" _M-Mama…"_

He'd started to cry, whimpering his mother's name pitifully. It wasn't that Shisui didn't pity the boy – he did, greatly, as he understood the suffering of being somewhere unknown while so vulnerable. However, Itachi was handling the situation incorrectly.

"We have a perfectly good medical room," he mentioned, raising an eyebrow when Itachi glanced up at him. He was in the middle of wiping down the boy's forehead, his own features puckering somewhat with concern.

"Which is in use," replied Itachi quietly, turning back to his task. Then, he said to the boy, "Quiet, now. Your mother won't be too long, I promise."

"Itachi," Shisui said with clear exasperation, surprising his friend enough for him to look back at him. "Hyuuga-san is capable of joining the rest of us in here – like myself, she is only partially blind. She can care for herself."

"And Sakura?" came his demand. Although it was spoken quietly, there was a clear weight behind his words. Almost an accusation. Itachi was no longer looking at him, like he was dismissing his presence completely. Shisui knew that wasn't the case, though. He knew that Itachi was experiencing confusion and perhaps even betrayal for the way things had turned out between himself and Sakura. "Do you think it wise to place a young, defenceless child in the same small room as a woman who, in your own words, we no longer know?"

Oh, that was a dig. One that actually hurt. "Sakura would never hurt a child."

There was a quiet hum of dry amusement. "If you are so certain about that, then why do you continue to claim you don't know who she is anymore?"

"I-" He couldn't argue with that, could he? Not when Shisui couldn't understand _why_ he was sure about the child's safety in her care. He simply… He couldn't see her ever hurting an innocent person, no matter how out of her mind she was.

"Sakura would never hurt a child," he repeated firmly, narrowing his eyes on Itachi for good measure. "I'm surprised you think that she would."

"I don't," he murmured. "But she is not ready to become a medic again. She must first learn to find herself and-"

"And in the meantime this child is suffering," Shisui cut in, glaring openly at his friend's back. "At the very least give him some privacy, Itachi. Away from all these prying eyes – from these people who are more concerned with contracting whatever sickness he has, rather than offering any form of comfort or comradery." Glare deepening as he looked around himself, he couldn't help but feel sickened when the civilians instantly averted their gazes, when the shinobi stared him down for a few mere moments before copying them. "Do not worsen the boy's suffering simply because you want to give Sakura all the time in the world to recover. _Face facts that she will never recover from this."_

His words silenced Itachi. They ceased his movements. For a split second, Shisui worried that he'd gone too far. That he'd pushed a hidden button that was never supposed to be pressed. Itachi was a dangerous guy and many made the assumption that he had limitless patience. Then, he reached out to the boy and tucked his arms beneath his back and knees, standing effortlessly and holding him close. There was no signs of worry about catching the illness, but there was a clear defiance as he stood to his full height, staring Shisui down seriously, almost coldly.

"Sakura will do more than just recover," he stated tonelessly. "She will bounce back from this with a vengeance because that's who she is." Turning his back on him, Itachi said over his shoulder, "Gather the boy's belongings and follow me. If you wish to move him to another room so badly, you will help with the process of settling him in."

Wait, that meant–

"Itachi-"

"Stop believing Sakura is weak when she is far from it," came his cold voice, one that further silenced the hideout as the two most powerful Uchiha stood their ground in their arguments. "She _will_ overcome this."

* * *

Standing outside of the medical room, leaning back against the wall, stood an irate Sasuke, who merely huffed with annoyance at their questioning gazes. He'd been there for a while from the looks of things and from his defensive stance, he didn't plan on moving any time soon. The sight made Shisui inwardly frown, for he'd thought he and Sasuke were on the same page. Was he caving? Was he slowly believing in Itachi's words?

"I wouldn't," Sasuke muttered when they continued to walk towards the room with the young boy. "She's having a bad day."

"What do you mean?" Shisui found himself asking, despite his earlier decision to distance himself.

"I mean," he stated more seriously, his voice growing harder. "If you take that kid in there while she's so restless, there's no telling what will happen."

That fool hadn't known Sakura at all, had he? And if he did, then how the hell could he forget what kind of person she was so easily? To truly believe that she would have it in her heart to harm an innocent child was ludicrous. It didn't matter how badly her head was screwed with, because deep in her heart, she would always be–

No. They were right to question how safe the child was around her and he was a hypocrite for thinking differently after all he'd been saying. She was no longer the woman they once knew and loved. Haruno Sakura was a stranger now, meaning they had to treat her cautiously.

Still…

"I have an idea."

* * *

She wasn't lounging around when they entered the medical room – Sakura was sitting upright against the wall her futon was against, her bright green eyes wide and calculating. She made sure not to miss a single movement, always watching. Always aware. Then, once she took in the child cradled in Itachi's arms, she frowned minutely, clearly unsure about how to handle the situation.

The others were scattered around the room, making it seem smaller and it had Shisui biting back an order to make them all leave. There was no reason to have six people with her. Crowding Sakura wouldn't do any good. It would undoubtedly cause irritation. Then again, three of those six were probably with Hinata. They would find out in a few moments.

"Hinata-san, how are you feeling?" asked Itachi, his voice as gentle as it always was.

She gave a small smile, her single eye darting to Sakura, then to the child in Itachi's arms. Oh? Was she catching on already? "Better."

"I'm glad," he said before asking, "I'm sorry if this feels sudden, but we need a bed for Botan-kun and-"

"No, no, it's fine," she assured him with a smile, already on her feet. "I was wondering what would happen with the boy."

The way Sakura's eyes widened and fixated on Hinata made Shisui shift his weight to his left foot uneasily. They hadn't taken into consideration the bond that was forged between the two. Would Sakura manage without the Hyuuga in the room? After all, it was she who comforted her. Whenever Sakura was in a bad way after a torture session, it was allegedly Hinata who held her, doing all she could to soothe the pain through comfort alone. They were basically taking a safety blanket from a child.

"Thank you." Stepping around her, he nodded in thanks as she pulled back the covers, allowing Itachi to lay Botan down. His dark bangs were stuck to his forehead, but his shaking made it appear as though he was cold. They used that to try and get her attention, covering the boy with a thick quilt. "We might be able to warm him up now."

There was a scoff behind them. Fortunately, the others seemed to understand what they were trying to trigger, for they didn't argue with their poor decision to add more layers. If she didn't respond, they would treat him properly before there were any ill effects.

Turning, he grabbed a spare blanket. Perhaps she needed a push? "Here, Itachi. Use this."

Before it could be passed on, it was snatched from his hand and his heart seemed to skip a beat as he locked eyes with the angry woman stood in front of him. Up close, he could see how green they were and they seemed to hit him at full force, no matter how hard Shisui tried to resist them. Gods, they were beautiful eyes. Like the green never ended, merely allowing a few specks of amber and brown to mingle with its vividness, somehow brightening the colour. Even while so obviously angry, it was hard to look away.

"You're all idiots," she muttered darkly. Brushing past the two Uchiha men, she tugged the thicker cover from the boy's trembling body, her eyebrows knitting together. "You're doing it wrong," she said irritably. "He's too warm, not shaking because he's cold. It's called a fever."

"You remember?" asked Naruto excitedly.

She frowned at her hands, then over to him. "Remember what? I'm only doing what Tsunade-sama tells me to do."

What? "Tsunade-sama?"

Green eyes rolled, like the question was ridiculous, but she didn't elaborate. It had many watching her warily, their minds revolving around a single question: how deep did her madness run? When speaking of her deceased shishou, she'd used the present tense. That alone set off alarm bells in Shisui's head.

He couldn't keep his distance from her, could he? The realisation had him zoning out of the conversation going on around him, had his eyes glued to Sakura as she returned to her seat on her futon. Once she noticed his staring, she stared back, those green eyes standing out hauntingly in contrast to the bruises surrounding her eyes, her skin still worryingly pale from the amount of blood she'd lost.

As much as he wanted to spare himself from the agony of being around her, of further breaking his own heart by watching her descent into madness, he had no other option because behind all the anger and distrust in her eyes, there was also confusion and fear. She truly was struggling to understand all that was happening around her. He couldn't leave her to endure that alone. Not after all she'd done for him. Not when she looked so scared and alone. Not when he loved her so much.

"Help me, then." Many stared at him in shock when he stepped towards Sakura, holding out his hand. "Help me care for him."

Green eyes narrowed. "I told you already. I don't know the first thing about-"

"Then we'll learn together."

"You don't-"

"Please, Sakura."

She fell silent, the wariness in her eyes doubling. It was clear she didn't trust him. That she feared him. Whatever Danzo had done to her head wasn't letting up for a second. It was continuously playing with her mind. One moment she could trust them, the next she couldn't. It was all one big mind game.

He wanted to avoid her. He wanted distance.

But she needed him.

And with those big green eyes staring at him so helplessly, so unknowingly desperate for his help…

Sakura stood without taking his hand, gazing at him suspiciously until she nodded once, slowly, unsurely.

He'd always been a sucker for pretty eyes.

* * *

 **A/N - They've got a long way to go, but Shisui is finally coming to realise what we all already know. Finally.**


	15. Surprise Yourself

**Chapter 14 – Surprise Yourself**

What was life like before she got stuck in such a mess? Gods, she couldn't even remember. Not properly. She could vaguely remember her parents, though couldn't, for the life of her, remember whether she actually liked them or not. Had she gotten on with them? Did she love them? Did they love her?

"Please, Sakura-san," came Hinata's soft beg as she shuffled closer, gingerly reaching out and lifting matted pink hair. "Allow me to cut your hair. You will be much more comfortable."

"No."

What did it mean to be comfortable, anyway? There were many different ways a person could feel comfortable, but Sakura couldn't recall ever feeling such a way. She'd been comforted, sure, but not comfortable. Before Danzo screwed with her head, she'd been uncomfortable with her body. It was pretty amusing, when she really thought about it. What she wouldn't give to have such a pointless thing to worry endlessly about. Nowadays, she felt as though she was a stranger in her own head. She didn't understand half the emotions she experienced. Didn't know _how_ she was supposed to feel. If she reacted a certain way to a certain situation, everyone looked at her like she was an alien, or possibly insane.

"C'mon, Sakura-chan," Naruto said with a wide grin and scratched the back of his head. "Hinata's really good at cutting hair, you know."

"I said _no_."

They seemed to back off at the firmness of her voice. Or was it because of the warning in her narrowing eyes? It didn't matter, really. She didn't care. Standing and ignoring their worried glances, Sakura left the medical wing, needing some space. There was a noticeable breeze drifting through the hideout and it had her pausing once she was out of sight. Was there an opening somewhere? Remaining calm, she followed the direction the breeze was coming from, her fingers running along the wall in a display of innocent curiosity. It got colder the closer she got, the wind biting at her healing skin uncomfortably, but she refused to show the pain it caused.

It was obvious from where she was standing that the sight before her was a disguise of sorts. From the outside it would look like an inhabitable cave and only a fool would try and stay in it. Holding onto a large protruding piece of rock that was easily taller than her, Sakura ducked beneath another, ignoring her body's protests as she forced herself to keep moving.

"Sakura," Tsunade sighed, following after her apprentice. "You're in no fit state to be wandering off."

She couldn't stay with them, could she? She couldn't trust them. She didn't want to trust them. Narrowing her eyes as the opening was finally revealed, Sakura stepped closer to the edge and was unable to stop the widening of her gaze at the three hundred or so foot drop. No wonder the wind was so strong, she thought and held onto the wall for stability.

"What are you going to do?"

There was no hiding her flinch at the sudden voice at her side and when she looked up, she found Shisui standing beside her. He was staring out at the forest, standing on the edge just like she was, only he wasn't holding onto the wall for support. Probably didn't need it, considering how well he looked in comparison to her.

Resisting the urge to move away from him, she muttered in response, "Nothing. I just wanted fresh air."

"Don't." She looked back to him at his deep breath, frowning at the pained look in his eyes when he met her gaze. "Don't lie to me, Sakura."

Don't lie to him? What did it matter if she did? Who was he to her? He was nothing–

* * *

" _Please don't shut me out," she whispered, hand coming up to his hair, running through it comfortingly._

 _Turning to lay on his side, Shisui sighed, leaning into her touch. Up until that moment, he'd remained motionless in his bed for the past two days. The curtains were drawn, leaving the room in total darkness (she'd had his old curtains swapped for blackout ones, just in case he wanted to take off his bandages during the night). Any and all food she offered to him went ignored, along with the glasses of water she kept leaving beside his bed._

" _Shisui, please," Sakura begged. "I know I can't understand how you're feeling right now and I know that nothing I say will ease your suffering, but please, don't do this. Don't shut me out. Don't starve yourself or make yourself die of thirst. Please."_

"… _Why?" came his eventual croak. "What… use am I?"_

 _Tears filled her eyes at the darkness of his words and she continued to try her best to comfort him. Itachi would be equally as heartbroken – no, more heartbroken, if he heard his best friend's words. "What use?" she repeated, like the question as absurd. "Are you saying being useful as a shinobi is more important than having people love you? Are you really that stupid?"_

" _I-"_

" _No, listen to me, Uchiha Shisui," Sakura told him and added more steel to her tone, forcing him to listen. "Itachi loves you. His parents have come to your defence time and time again over the past month. The Gods know I've almost pummelled the hell out of this clan three times over for you. So what if you're not on the best of terms with everyone? You have Itachi and his parents. You have…" She smiled helplessly. "You have_ me. _Are you telling me we're not worth anything?"_

 _Slowly, with obvious difficulty, Shisui managed to sit up, their faces only centimetres apart. She could tell he was trying not to breathe through his mouth due to the fact he hadn't left his bed in a couple of days, meaning he hadn't brushed his teeth in a while, either._

" _You…" His hand lifted, searching for her face until she leaned forward, allowing his hand to cup her cheek. "Please don't ever say you're not worth anything."_

 _She blushed at his words and inwardly groaned when she realised Shisui could probably feel the heat of her cheeks. "Then please don't question your use or worth."_

 _Because each day that went by, despite knowing how wrong it was, she felt herself falling more and more…_

* * *

Real?

 _Was that real?_

Spinning on her heel with widening eyes, she prepared herself to demand answers from him, but much to her horror the edge gave way beneath her foot and gravity took hold. Dark eyes met hers, wide with horror and fear and she saw the way Shisui paled as he quickly reached for her, only for their fingers to miss by just a couple of millimetres, making them curse their luck.

"Sakura!" her shishou yelled from behind him.

He was already ten… twenty… thirty feet away from her and Sakura was grateful when her hair began to obscure her view. With the state her body was in, even if she managed to slow her descent, she wouldn't survive the fall. It was too much for her weakened state. Already, the speed of her descent was burning her skin. Maybe it was for the best? At least there would be no more confusion or pain if she fell to her death. Considering how fast she was falling and from such a height, she'd be dead as soon as she hit the ground. Wouldn't even feel a thing.

" _Sakura,"_ she heard someone yell from the opening. _"Shisui!"_

The same second as those dark thoughts filled her mind, she felt strong arms wrapping around her, her back being squeezed against someone's wide chest. It hurt. Agitated her wounds. But Sakura couldn't find a reason to complain.

 _At least she wasn't going to die alone._

Shutting her eyes as the person's head pressed to hers, she willed herself to calm down.

"I love you."

The words had her eyes snapping open in shock, only to be met by the sight of shockingly green chakra encasing them both. She wanted to turn in his arms. She wanted to meet his eyes to see if there were any signs of lies in them. Were his words the truth? Could she trust him? No matter what, she couldn't turn. He was holding her too tightly against him, turning them so that his back was facing the ground.

"Stop thinking so much," came his desperate words, his hold tightening. "Listen to your heart, Sakura. _Trust me. Please!"_

* * *

" _C'mon, Shisui," she goaded, grinning from ear to ear. "You need to be faster than that."_

 _There was frustration on his visible features as he reached for her, hands grasping at thin air. In response, he growled lowly, a bead of sweat running down his temple, soaking into the bandage._ " _Sakura," he warned lowly. "I don't enjoy being toyed with."_

 _From the awkward shifting of his feet to the uncertain grabs at air, it was clear Shisui was unsure of himself. He didn't trust his surroundings despite them walking around the garden several times a day to ensure he memorised the layout._

" _Maybe so, but you still have to exercise regularly to keep yourself in shape," she called, still smiling. Stepping back so she was just out of reach, Sakura couldn't help but giggle at his annoyed yell. "Stop thinking so much and just_ trust me _. You know the layout. You know you can do this. Trust me."_

* * *

"Trust me," he begged and his lips brushed the side of her head, surprising her with the gentleness of the gesture despite their situation. " _Trust me."_

 _Trust me…_

Shutting her eyes, Sakura relaxed in his hold, willing the racing of her mind to stop. She willed the ever present paranoia to leave her alone. The confusion, the pain, the sadness… She willed it all to just _stop._

 _Trust me._

 _Trust him!_

* * *

 **A/N - Annoying short chapter, I know. I just wanted to let you all know why I was on hiatus as of late (especially one I didn't warn any of you about). Basically, it's the end of my final year of university, meaning there's finals and assignments and a dissertation that needs my full attention if I want to graduate with my class. On top of that, me and my fiance (I still haven't gotten used to saying that) are moving into a place of our own, and we plan on having my adorable nephews over more often. So until everything is settled (moving house on the 11th, university ending on the 14th, returning to work on the 16th after a prolonged absence due to mental health reasons etc), please don't expect any updates. I can only promise to try my best, though realistically speaking, it may be _at least_ two months before you get any updates. I'm trying my best to stay positive about everything, but to do so, I need to pace myself (which, in all honesty, isn't going to be easy - May is going to be a big month for us).**

 **Anyways, I hope you all understand :-)**


	16. The Way We Were Before

**Chapter 15 – The Way We Were Before**

What the hell even happened?

Eyes wide as he stared at the woman he loved ripping through the sky, their hands still outstretched towards one another as if they still had a chance of stopping her descent, Shisui did the only thing he could think of in that moment: he followed her. Pushing off the side of the rocky cliff so that he had extra momentum, it felt like no time at all passed before she was in his arms, the relief he could feel lasting only for a brief moment.

Gods, she was going to be the death of him. Shisui readjusted his hold, bringing her as close as physically possible, willing himself to find some kind of strength to slow them down – _there had to be something he could grab._ But there was nothing. From somewhere far above them, he had the desperate yell of a friend who didn't want to be left behind again, the yell of someone who'd done everything in his power to protect everyone for so long. _Why couldn't he do the same?_

"I love you."

The wind carried his voice away and upon seeing the sea of trees waiting below them, Shisui shut his eyes. It seemed he truly was a coward. He couldn't even face death – maybe his own, but certainly not hers. Never hers.

"I love you," he said louder, wishing her to hear the words and the weight they carried.

At least, if he was going to die, it was with her. He wouldn't have to live without her.

Opening his eyes a final time, despite his sight being obscured somewhat by the matts of bloody pink hair, he was both startled and relieved to find green chakra enveloping them without his command, like it was responding to his emotions. The form of Susanoo came quickly and in response, there was a horrific wave of pain behind his eyes. He chose to ignore it. It was his chance to save her. _He could save her._

Sakura must have had her eyes open too, because suddenly, she began fighting him. Wait, why was she struggling? Was it fear? Couldn't she remember the stories he'd told her about his strengths? The stories Itachi told her?

"Stop thinking so much," came his desperate words, his hold tightening. "Listen to your heart, Sakura. _Trust me. Please!"_

Gods, he'd never felt more desperate as he begged the Susanoo to slow their fall. Soon enough, they would be submerged by the trees. Everything was a blur around them, even with his Sharingan activated, and for that, Shisui was grateful. He didn't want to remember any details, even if his Sharingan stored it all to memory. The less memories, the better. _Just in case he failed._

"Trust me," he begged and his lips brushed the side of her head. " _Trust me."_

 _I won't let you die._

She didn't need to say anything back to him – the fact she relaxed in his hold, but her hands still tight on his, said everything he needed to hear: she trusted him. Whether it was with her life, or her heart, it was a starting place for him and he couldn't let her down. He wouldn't let her down.

It was with a great amount of effort that he spun her around, forcing her to look him in the eyes. She flinched, at first. The sight of his Sharingan startling her. However, it was necessary. They needed it to survive and what better way to prove to her the Sharingan wasn't all that bad, then by saving her life with it?

"Keep hold of me," he pleaded, grateful that she immediately complied by wrapped her arms around him, wide, horrified green eyes glued to his. "Do you trust me?"

He couldn't hear the words, her weak voice being torn away by the wind, but he could read her lips as she murmured, "Yes."

In response, the Susanoo spread its arms, preparing itself for impact. Previously, he'd never used it for anything more than defence – well, once he allowed Susanoo to spray out a barrage of needles that rained down on his enemies, but that was beside the point – and he seriously hoped it was developed enough to take most of the impact. They were falling too fast for it to grab anything, proven by part of the cliff crumbling under its powerful grip.

Those hauntingly green eyes were still staring up at him, wider than usual and helpless, begging him not to fail and for some reason it… It strengthened his resolve. It made him _happy_ that she wanted to live. Somewhere deep inside of her, Haruno Sakura refused to give up. The woman he loved was still in there.

Much to his surprise, his Susanoo tried once more to grab at the cliff, this time, jamming a kunai it developed into the side, its hold unyielding as their descent began to slow. Shisui breathed out a deep sigh of relief at the sight of its feet submerged in the trees, completely hidden from view. Another fifty feet or so and it would be standing. Could the Susanoo make the drop without causing too much destruction to the area? They had to remain hidden, after all. Using Susanoo was a huge red flag, even if it _was_ necessary.

How much chakra did he have? Assessing his reserves, Shisui decided to take the risk, willing the Susanoo to take them in its hand and as close to the cliff as possible. From there, he applied chakra to the soles of his feet and readjusted his hold on Sakura, kneeling before her.

"Climb on my back," he ordered. "I'm going to walk down the cliff from here."

There was no hesitation like he'd thought there would be – she immediately followed his orders, the lightness of her body causing him to frown as he stood up, the hold on her thighs tight but not uncomfortable. Breathing in and out through his nose, Shisui placed one foot on the cliff and although he wasn't one to doubt his own abilities, he tested the control of his chakra first. It was only when he decided it to be sturdy that Susanoo evaporated around them.

"Down?" she questioned, voice quiet. Was she possibly going into shock? There were spots of wetness soaking into his back and he could smell blood in the air. Damn it, how many of her wounds had opened? They weren't even halfway healed yet.

"Yes. It's too far to walk back up. The others will meet us down there."

Feeling her nod against him, he turned to face the trees, shuffling her higher up his back. For a moment, however, he was struck with the memory of the time she had lifted him effortlessly, scaring the crap out of him, when he'd refused to move from his spot of darkness, brooding away for days at a time. Deciding she'd had enough, she carried him outside, where he was greeted with a smug Itachi. Shisui smiled and tilted his head towards one of the arms wrapped around his neck and shoulders. Despite seeming so delicate, Sakura was a strong woman. How could he have ever doubted her ability to grow stronger from this? There would be no need for his own vengeance against Danzo – Sakura would beat him to it.

He had to stop doubting her.

At that moment in time, however, she _was_ considerably weaker – injured, too. For now, she had to rely on _his_ strength.

"Are you ready?"

Again, she nodded.

It was a long walk down the cliff. Much longer than he'd anticipated. Every slight rustle of the trees below them, along with any noises that couldn't be excused as sounds of the forest, had them on edge. They were out in the open. Possibly the highest two on Danzo's hit list. He would have his spies everywhere, ready to strike the moment they revealed themselves. The anxiety it caused was suffocating.

"I don't see anyone," Sakura mumbled into his shoulder as they were finally covered by the trees. Struggling against him to try and get a better look, he could feel the beginnings of a scowl. "Where's Itachi?"

Itachi was the first person she thought of when it came to somebody rescuing her? Shisui shook the petty thoughts from his mind. He'd learned a long time ago that envy was everyone's downfall. Everyone's. "It is a large forest, Sakura," he explained patiently. "He will be searching for us."

"So what now?" she snapped, though there wasn't much anger behind her words. "What are we supposed to do?"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Shisui assessed the drop to the ground. It wasn't too great – there wouldn't have been one at all, had it not been for the awkward angling of the cliff. It would be simpler to jump the distance. Tightening his hold on Sakura, he took the leap, saying, "We wait."

Some part of Sakura clearly trusted him, even if she didn't want to admit it. The fact that's he didn't cling to him or freak out, instead trusting his ability to land safely, proved that to him. And inwardly, he smiled.

Glancing around them, he tried to spot if there were any hidden spots they could use, but there was nothing spectacular – all relatively obvious to those who were raised in or around a forest. For Konoha-nin, it wouldn't take long to find them. Though, he wondered, if his Sharingan and genjutsu skills were up to the test of protecting them? It was at the feeling of the blood spreading across the back of his shirt that made Shisui's mind up: yes. They couldn't not take the risk, really. At some point, either the fall or his handling of her had opened her wounds. He had to tend to them otherwise they risked infection. He would not prolong her suffering or cause her greater harm.

"We will take cover here," he stated, already making his way towards a tree. It was taller than the rest, effectively allowing them to hide in the leaves of the other trees while sitting on the branches. Once more adjusting his hold on Sakura, he sent chakra throughout his legs and jumped, landing on the branch better than he'd expected. "Here, I will look at your wounds."

But Sakura shrank back at the offer, arms coming around her bloody abdomen. "It's not necessary."

Considering the amount of blood he could feel soaking his shirt, he highly doubted that. Instead of arguing, however, Shisui sat in front of her, his legs dangling on each side of the branch. "This is me, Sakura," he said, trying his best to smile at her. It felt foreign, though. Forced. "You have seen me in various states of indecency throughout your time as my caregiver."

There was clear uncertainty on her features and for a selfish moment, he wished they weren't covered in the shadows of the forest. He wanted to know what it looked like when the sun hit her face. Surely, she looked radiant. Even with the injuries.

He sighed, knowing that it went deeper than trust issues or fear of being indecent. It was because of what that symbol meant by being on her body – something that still had his blood boiling with barely contained rage. No doubt she was deeply ashamed of it. The Sakura he'd come to know was a proud woman, one who cared about her image. Was it the same for the Sakura in front of him?

"You are not whatever the emblem means to you," Shisui said seriously, almost fiercely. "You-"

"What do you think it means?" she questioned. Peering up at him, she gingerly pulled her arms away, seemingly able to ignore the fact the pale skin was dyed red.

He took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. Seeing her covered in so much blood – being able to smell said blood – was wrong. So, so wrong. "I believe it is Danzo's way of manipulating you." At her inquisitive stare, he continued, shifting just the slightest bit forward. "I know of his plan – to have Itachi, Sasuke and myself succumb to the madness that is the Curse of Hatred. And while this is only a guess, am I right to assume it plays on your mind? That it makes you question your connection with us?"

Green eyes averted from his as Sakura decided to stare at the leaves behind him. From the sounds of it, there was a bird's nest fairly close to them. Was she watching them? "I'm… a possession of the Uchiha Clan. A whore."

The words caused the rage within him to swell, but he never let it show on his features, instead remaining calm for her sake. Being alone with her when she was so vulnerable (not to mention capable of having her mood switch in the space of a nanosecond) meant he had to tread carefully. Perhaps it was a sign that he still had the chance to get to know her? Maybe there was a small part of the woman he'd fallen in love with left?

"You? A possession?" he questioned, his smirk faint. "While I may not have known you as long as the others, I can assure you now: you could never be _anyone's_ possession, Sakura. You value yourself too much for that to happen – it's the same with being a whore. The Sakura I know could never be such a thing."

"Because she was innocent, right?" repeated Sakura harshly and the anger in her tone startled him. Had he said the wrong thing? "I'm not that person any more – you said so yourself. You don't know me anymore."

Damn it. The unsteady truce between them was falling apart. "And I regretted it instantly."

"Then why say it?"

"I said it because…" He shook his head, finally giving into the urge of looking away from her. It wasn't until he figured out a way to word his next sentence without offending her that he returned his gaze to hers, frowning somewhat. "How much do you remember of our time together? Do you remember Sasuke's return after I left the hospital?" Uncertainly, she nodded, though it took her a few moments to remember. "You didn't want to see him, correct?"

"Y-Yes…?"

"No, you didn't," he assured her gently, once more moving just that little bit closer. Their knees bumped together lightly and she flinched, eyes darting towards the closing distance between them. "You couldn't bring yourself to see the man he had become because you were in pain. You were hurting from his actions and said you needed time to think. About who he'd become and separating him from the boy you'd fallen in love with."

There was wary realisation on her features. She was clearly unsure whether to believe him, but at the same time, knew deep in her heart that there was some truth to his words.

"I suppose that was how I felt," explained Shisui, still carefully choosing his words. If he said one wrong thing, the moment would shatter and there was no telling how long it would be before they next spoke so calmly with one another. Would her madness put a stop to it? Would she be able to remember their conversation later? There was no way of knowing. "I felt as though I needed the time to separate the woman who cared for me so selflessly, without a single thought of herself, to who you are now."

"I'm… selfish now?"

"No, not at all." He sighed, losing what he was about to say and growing frustrated with himself. "You're different. Understandably so, but it still came as a shock to me. Although I warned myself of this possibility, I never truly believed it would happen."

Why did it feel so good to be speaking with her about such things? To be looking her in those beautifully green eyes and getting all the pain off his chest? It was like he was admitting his wrongdoing towards her – the giving up on her so easily. Almost like confessing a sin. Perhaps with it out of the way so early in the rebuilding of their relationship, it meant good things for them? For her?

For a few minutes, she didn't speak, the sounds of the young birds behind him chirping away being the only thing filling the silence around them. He didn't push her. Instead, Shisui waited patiently, wondering how he would treat her wound if she allowed him to. There were some spare bandages in the pouch he'd been given – for his eyes, but they would do for now, he supposed. They were clean and would just about cover the symbol. That was all that mattered.

"Before I fell, I…" She chuckled humourlessly, the previous cold demeanour returning briefly and making his heart sink, only for her to shake her head like she was trying to gain control of her emotions. "I think it was a flashback. Of our time together, I mean."

"Oh?"

Hesitantly, she nodded. "I was… comforting you. You were refusing to leave your room – wouldn't even get out of bed."

"That wasn't unusual for us back then," he admitted with a small, sheepish smile. It hurt to think back on their time together in their safe bubble. Gods, he wished he could go back so badly. Wished he'd spent less time shut away in his room and his head and more time with her. "You would spend hours every morning getting me out of my bed."

She was watching him closely, trying to detect any traces of deception. When she found none, Sakura continued slowly, once more hesitant to share her story as she told him, "It was almost like a confession, of sorts. We seemed really close."

"We were," Shisui said with a sad smile.

"Do you miss it?"

He didn't miss a beat in answering, didn't look away for a single second. "Every day."

The truth in his words seemed to trouble her, for Sakura once more fell silent. This time, it lasted a while – long enough for him to question where Itachi and the others were… unless he was trying to give them time alone? Would his friend really do that? And what did Sakura's silence mean? Was she unsure of her own feelings? Was she scared? Saddened? Was something whispering in her ear, telling her not to believe him?

"I…" She searched the area surrounding them, or as best as she could given their cover in the trees, green eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Please could you… change the dressing?"

There was no describing how much her request meant to him. Already, they were getting somewhere. Whether it was due to the scare of the fall, or being in shock or simply his insistence. It didn't matter what it was. They were getting somewhere.

Since they were already knee to knee, there was no way to get any closer. Instead, he reached into his pouch, placing the clean bandages between them before gently, slowly, lifting her shirt to reveal the bandages. As expected, they were drenched in blood, so he wasted no time in removing them, albeit carefully. Hurting or scaring Sakura was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Did the medic give you any medicine?" he asked in an attempt to fill the silence.

She shook her head, staring at the leaves above them so that she didn't have to see what he was doing. Had she even looked at what had been done to her? Honestly, as the last of the bandages fell away, revealing the sight of his clan's insignia, Shisui found that he couldn't blame her if she hadn't. Danzo had branded her. Upon discovering her feelings, he'd used them against her.

It was only when those huge green eyes fell to the side of them that she suddenly went rigid, nearly yelling, "Wait!"

His hands froze, senses quickly stretching out to try and pick up on any dangers. There were none. Just a rabbit beneath them hopping by. "What's wrong?"

"You're doing it wrong," said Sakura with a scowl. "There's supposed to be gauze."

Was there? He inwardly frowned and glanced down to the old bandages, sighing quietly in defeat at the sight of the bloody gauze. How could he not have known? Applying simple bandages – while clean – was risky.

"What should I do?"

"How should I know?"

"You're-" Shisui cut himself off.

"I'm?" she pushed, eyes narrowing. At least she was looking at him again.

Not for the first time, he lowered his gaze. "Forgive me."

"You confused the current me with the old me." It wasn't a question, but he nodded anyway. Then, quietly, she asked, "Do you think I'll ever remember that part of myself?"

"The selfish part of me wants you to be able to," he admitted, his voice low.

"But?"

Again, he sighed. The birds were chirping desperately and a single glance over his shoulder informed Shisui that the parents had returned with their lunch. It wasn't exactly a heart warming sight, he noted as the mother began regurgitating her meal, but the gesture wasn't lost on him. Family was a sweet thing.

"But I need to learn to accept that you are different now." As much as it killed him inside. "It's wrong of me to keep comparing you to who you used to be – not when this version of yourself could be twice the person you previously were."

"I don't see how," she grumbled in response.

Of course she couldn't see. He couldn't truly see either. However, there was every chance Itachi was right. There was every chance Sakura could bounce back from what had happened to her, using the experience to push herself. Gods, she was so beautiful. Ignoring the bruises and the wounds, her skin was pale and smooth. But other than her beauty, there was a power lurking within. He could see it in the delicately sculpted muscles – had seen it when she turned on Itachi. Her instincts knew exactly what they were doing, or what _she_ should be doing, even if Sakura couldn't remember. The person she was, was just beneath the surface. It was in her subconscious. That meant she wouldn't be starting from scratch.

"Itachi said you need to find yourself," Shisui finally managed to reply, ignoring the aching of his chest. "That is no easy task, Sakura. It will take a while." Deciding that the conversation was too much, he then said while gesturing the bandages, "What do you suggest I should do?"

She shrugged. "Wrap it up. I'll deal with it."

"Are you sure?"

"Just do it."

At the impatient snap, he did as he was told, carefully wrapping up her abdomen. Quick glances at her face told Shisui that she was uncomfortable and pensive. Her body continued to be rigid, eyes tight.

He went back to his job, watching how it just barely managed to cover the emblem, which was already seeping through the thin wrappings. The wound itself was around seven inches in length and just a little smaller in width, causing Shisui to despair for her. It was always going to be there – a horrific scar that would always remind her of the torture she'd gone through at the hands of Danzo. Damn it, they'd stripped the skin away entirely where the emblem was supposed to be red. How was she ever supposed to move on from that with such a permanent reminder?

His angry thoughts were interrupted as he sensed three chakras approaching fast, the most powerful of the three causing him to sigh. "They've found us."

"Who?"

The pure fear on her features had Shisui quickly reiterating, "Itachi and the others have found us."

Some of the stiffness eased away. "…Oh."

It had only been around twenty minutes since they sat down in the tree and surprisingly, Shisui found that he wished they had more time alone together. Despite his previous thoughts of wanting to avoid her, wanting to protect his heart from the agony of watching her in her madness… It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore her. It was bordering on impossible. He loved her too much.

Dropping the genjutsu once the three shinobi stopped directly below them, Shisui stood, offering his hand to Sakura. Similar to the other day, however, she didn't accept it. Instead, she stood by herself, using the trunk for support, her old bandages being held tightly in the other hand. But that didn't upset him. The previous Sakura, he'd noticed, hadn't enjoyed spending time by herself unless there was something for her do. She preferred to be of use, to have someone relying on her, to be taking care of their every need and following their orders. Like she was unsure on what to do with herself without said orders. It had him wondering if the new Sakura was more independent – whether she was too scared to rely on others, or merely wishing to prove herself. Maybe it was even a mixture of the two?

" _Shisui? Sakura?"_

Their only response was to drop from the tree, landing before the group. Alongside Itachi was Kakashi and the Hyuuga male, their stances relaxing upon seeing them.

"I was unable to see through your genjutsu," came the smooth voice of the Hyuuga. "We had to follow Kakashi's sense of smell."

Good. So his genjutsu skills didn't need too much work. Then again, they'd always been above average – even before he activated his Sharingan. For his skills to have slipped in that specific area would have meant he truly let himself go.

"Are you both okay?" Itachi questioned, assessing the pair of them closely. His eyes were drawn to the opened wounds on Sakura's body, expression smoothing out when he noticed her discomfort at their staring. "I noticed you used Susanoo, Shisui."

"It was risky considering we need to stay hidden, but-"

"But you had no choice," Kakashi cut in. "Don't apologise for it."

"It wasn't activated for long," said Itachi. "Anyone on the ground would not have seen it."

"Either way, we should keep an eye on the area."

There was no telling whether or not Danzo had his spies hiding around the forest. After all, he allowed Itachi to 'rescue' Sakura. How could they be foolish enough to believe he wouldn't have spies hanging around the area? Then again, if he did, he would simply send in his strongest forces to dispose of them all. It wouldn't take much considering how weakened they all were.

"I agree with Neji," Kakashi said with a nod in the younger man's direction. "Station the shinobi at the entrances."

"It would be best if we continued this discussion inside," Itachi reminded them all. Turning in the direction they'd come from, he ordered quietly, "Follow me."

It struck something within Shisui when Sakura picked up her pace so that she was side by side with the Copy-Nin, his single eye saddening at the restless way she watched their surroundings. It was clear to him that Kakashi had Sakura's trust – how, he was unsure, but he _did_ have it and that was enough to make Shisui ache inside.

The walk back to the hideout was silent and uneventful, with Naruto and the others waiting worriedly by the entrance for their return. Ignoring them all, Sakura walked straight to the medical room, refusing to give so much as a backwards glance. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Shisui followed her example, returning to the main hall. Or, at least he would have, had Itachi not stopped him once they were out of earshot of the others.

His friend was visibly worried. Partly shaken, too, if Shisui wasn't mistaken. And why wouldn't he be?

"Shisui, was that…?"

Many would have succumbed to the horrors they'd been through, had they been in Sakura's position. Sighing, he faced Itachi, eyeing him momentarily before saying, "No. It wasn't a suicide attempt."

"Then what happened?" he demanded, wary of keeping his voice low as his red and black eyes darted to the archway. The others were walking past but if they knew what was good for them, they wouldn't pay any attention to them. Looking back to him, Shisui narrowed his eyes fractionally. Was there a reason why Itachi's Sharingan was still activated? Was it the heightened emotions? Was he stressed? Or was it something more sinister, like his sight? "Shisui."

He sighed. The eventual blindness that came hand in hand with the Sharingan was a fate all Uchiha had to face at some point in their lives. As far as he was aware: there was no escaping it.

"She slipped – that's all there is to it."

"She slipped."

"Even shinobi are capable of being clumsy at times, Itachi."

"Not that particular shinobi," he argued seriously. "I have seen Sakura train and I have seen her in battle-"

"Yes, but this Sakura is different to the one we once knew." Turning on his heel to continue to the main hall, Shisui threw over his shoulder, "The sooner we learn to accept that, the better."

* * *

 **A/N - So for those of you who follow STIL (not sure if many of you do, considering it's ItaSaku), you will know about all the changes in my life. For those of you who don't, I'll make a long story short: I'm pregnant - still only the first trimester, but it's been a nightmare. To update you all on that, however, I had to have an emergency appointment with my doctor, who immediately sent me to hospital with hyperemesis gravidarum. Simply put, it's a pregnancy complication caused by severe nausea and vomiting. It got to the stage where I couldn't keep down any food or water and it made me severely dehydrated. They had to hook me up to a few drips to hydrate me, inject a load of anti sickness meds into me and monitor my meals.**

 **Thankfully, I'm home now that they've eased me onto oral anti sickness tablets. It's my first day at home and so far, so good, but HG is tricky and can last either a few months of the pregnancy, or for the entirety of it. God, it was awful. It felt like the life was being drained out of me!**

 **Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know that, if I do ever randomly stop updating, it's because I'm genuinely unwell. I'll do my best to keep updating, but understand that I'm obviously going to be putting myself and the baby first. Although it may seem easy enough to sit at a computer and write a story, it's difficult at the best of times. Adding nausea, dizzy spells and headaches brought on my dehydration to the mix and you've got yourself a nasty combo.**


	17. A Love That Wants To Live

**Chapter 16 – A Love That Wants To Live**

She wasn't sure what to think of Shisui. The guy was unpredictable. One moment he was avoiding her like she carried an infectious disease, watching her with guarded, pained eyes. The next, he was confiding in her, saving her life and trying to spend time with her. What was she supposed to think about that? Was she right to feel unsure?

Whatever was happening with him – what _was_ happening with him? What about her? What the hell had she even been thinking before the fall? That memory – the seemingly simple memory – had shaken her. Enough for her to nearly fall to her death.

Love… If her memories served her correctly, then it was such a fleeting emotion. Unless it was her heart that was fickle? For her to love Sasuke so deeply, but to move onto his brother and develop a deeper, meaningful bond with him, only to _then_ discover she also had feelings for Shisui… What did love even mean? Did she even understand it? _Could_ it be understood?

Curiously, Sakura found herself peeking over at the young boy laying in what had once been Hinata's bed. His mother fussed over him endlessly despite her own deteriorating health, always asking him if he was comfortable, if he needed another drink. Was he warm enough? _That_ love was certain to her… at least, she thought it was. The look in his mother's heavy eyes was certain. But they were also helpless. At times, she would look over at Sakura with disdain or disbelief, the growing hatred making her turn away because _for some goddamn reason_ , it _hurt_.

Her eyes were drawn to the entrance of the medical room when Itachi entered. It was like clockwork now. When the sun began to rise and the inescapable noise of the refugees woke her, Itachi would soon be by her side. Sometimes they talked. Mostly, however, they sat in silence for a solid hour while the others went about their business, the morning rush hour quickly proving to be too much for her to handle. Only when they were settled once more and breakfast was being served would she be able to leave, using the luxurious bathroom that was nothing more than a hole in the ground, mere feet from where they would bathe. Previously, she supposed it would have made her skin crawl. Now, she understood that they couldn't have their… _bathroom habits_ discovered.

That morning, Itachi allowed her extra privacy to bathe – and by privacy, she meant he continued to stand close to her, but trusted her enough to turn his back. She didn't argue. Instead, she warily eyed the flowing water, hesitantly crouching to dip her fingertips in.

* * *

 _She clawed at the barrel, green eyes wide as she screamed and fought with all her might, struggling against the beast of a man who was keeping her head under the water. There was a searing pain in her fingertips as her nails gave way under the pressure of her strength, but it didn't bother her for too long. Not when the edges of her vision dimmed, the water filling her lungs._

 _It was only when her body slumped against the barrel that they yanked her head out from it, tossing her carelessly to the ground._

* * *

Sakura mentally cursed at herself when she instinctively fell backwards, having moved too fast in her _need_ to remove her hand from the water. With shaking hands, she assessed her fingers, swallowing at the sight of them. For the nails she had left, they were filled with crusted blood and debris, the ones without causing her stomach to twist as she stared at them in morbid fascination. She really was filthy, wasn't she? Many parts of her body resembled her nails – broken, coated in dried blood. And _her hair_ …

Weakly, she approached the water once more, daring to glimpse at her reflection. The woman who stared back instantly captured her attention. Pink hair was matted and tinged red in most places and when Sakura felt the back of her head, she noted that it would have to be a short cut. She brushed the hair from her shoulders, ignoring the twinge of discomfort caused by the mats, and felt the wounds around her neck, green eyes narrowing on what she saw via the reflection. They were disgusting to say the least, the noose causing more damage than she'd originally thought. The wounds were struggling to heal – the medicine the doctor had given her was only to combat the infection.

"Sakura?"

Itachi's voice broke through her thoughts and she glanced over her shoulder. Still with his back to her, she noticed the tension of his muscles, the very slight turning of his head before he forced himself to continue facing forward. The trust he was showing her – as wavering as it was – had her breathing out a sigh, a weight she hadn't been aware of easing from her shoulders.

The ground they were on was higher than where she'd been yesterday and it had her wondering how big the hideout was. Sakura breathed in deeply, the cold, crisp air causing a dull ache in her lungs. Winter was going to halve their numbers, of that she was sure. The boy she was sharing a room with probably wouldn't even make it to winter. Neither would his mother. Hell, Sakura knew she was going to struggle fighting through the cold herself, given her weakened condition.

"I…" The words died on her tongue when her gaze returned to her reflection. Could she trust her own mind? She couldn't trust her memories – not entirely. They'd been toyed with and warped, mixing together or locked away completely. How much of her personality was a lie? "I don't know who I am."

He sighed deeply at her words – not out of annoyance, she thought. It sounded more pained then that. Like he was a man who was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and couldn't catch a break.

"I can only answer with what I know of your personality before…" Before she was captured and tortured. Before the devastating fall of the proud village Konoha had once been. "I believe we are all trying to find ourselves," Itachi answered after a pause. "Some of us have to search deeper, but it is a battle we all must face."

It took her much longer to continue the conversation, to force herself to explain to him, "I… I can't get in."

There were no questions. No uncertainty. Itachi always accompanied her. While it would have been more comfortable with a woman being her watcher, she understood he was the only one physically capable of going against her strength. The others, such as Hinata or Tenten, wouldn't know how to counter should she suddenly turn on them. As much as she hated him standing close by while she relieved herself or tried to bathe, she understood his reasoning.

"May I?"

It took more effort than she previously realised to voice her agreement and Sakura felt her throat grow tight when Itachi slowly turned, assessing her as she sat pitifully at the edge of the river. There must have been something in her expression or body language, something that was enough to make him pause in approaching her. Still, he did so, kneeling beside her, closer to the river than she dared.

She was annoyed with herself for flinching when Itachi reached out to the water, other hand in mid-air between them, patient as he waited for her to respond. Unlike his steady hands, her own shook and Sakura squeezed her eyes shut when her skin met his, her mind screaming at her to pull back, to not trust him, to _run_. Could he hear how heavily she was breathing? Could he hear the thunderous pounding of her heart? She could. It was maddening – she could hear it behind her ears, could feel it pulsating throughout her entire body.

His other hand was wet when it gently touched hers and again, she flinched, though fought the urge to put distance between them. He started slowly, trying to get her used to the feeling of the water as he covered her hand with his. His thumb moved once, twice – it wasn't until the movement was repeated a seventh time that she realised he was attempting to comfort her, his thumb stroking a small, gentle pattern on her skin.

It wasn't without a great amount of trepidation that Sakura opened her eyes, though she found she disliked the look on his face as he stared down at their joined hands. He was lost in his thoughts, his emotional pain easy for her to read and in the same way she'd inspected her mangled fingertips, Sakura continued to watch him, unable to fully comprehend the pain. What hurt him? The state she was in? Their bond or what was left of it?

Slowly, probably trying not to startle her, Itachi cupped his hand in the water, eyes searching hers until she nodded. There was no masking her small sound of fright when the water splashed against her skin, or the increased shaking of her body. Still, she kept her eyes open, trying to breathe through her fear as she watched the droplets of water roll off her hands, dropping to the grass below them. At least the feeling of Itachi cleaning the dirt from her hands was nice… sort of. It certainly distracted her from the sickening memories threatening to overwhelm her.

Bile burned its way up her throat when they shifted closer to the edge, but she didn't fight it. She continued to try and breathe through it, green eyes meeting black, as Itachi's hands carefully made their way up her wrists, her arms and soon enough, her shoulders. However, that was where it stopped, the fear becoming too much when his fingers grazed her shoulder.

"I-I can't," she barely managed to whisper through her panting for breath, her hands behind her, grabbing fistfuls of the grass after collapsing backwards. "They…"

The pained expression was back, Itachi's eyes tight as he asked her, "What did they do?"

She looked to the river, chest rising and falling with her heavy breathing – something she stressed to herself. She was _breathing_. They were just memories. Danzo wasn't standing somewhere in the background, watching with a cold, disinterested glare as Ibiki closed in on her, his large hand fisting in the back of her hair, other electrifying the water when she continued to refuse to talk and–

"I can't breathe," Sakura whimpered and she fought an invisible force to get away from the river, her legs kicking out weakly. "I c-can't…"

Much to her gratefulness, Itachi didn't make a move towards her, his outstretched hands going to his folded knees. "Couldn't," he corrected quietly. "You are not a prisoner anymore, Sakura. You are here with me."

It disgusted her when tears filled her eyes, wasting no time in running down her cheeks. The sight had Itachi's eyebrows knitting together, his expression twisting in what she could only describe as heartbreak.

"I won't let them harm you again," he swore and despite his voice being quiet, the words were spoken fiercely. "I will protect you."

"I want to protect myself," she eventually managed to reply. The lump in her throat made it difficult to talk and combined with her struggle to breathe… Sakura swallowed hard, nails digging into the dirt like she was trying to anchor herself to it. "I n-need…"

There was a moment of pause before Itachi stood, holding out his hands to her. "Before an infant learns to walk, they first have to learn how to stand – they must learn about balance."

"A-Are you trying to say-"

He cut off her angered, breathless demand, saying, "Not at all. However, you are adjusting to what you have been through, Sakura. To do this – to learn how to live with what happened – you must start from the beginning." It took more convincing than she was comfortable with to take his hands, to allow him to help her stand. "Last week, you struggled to so much as look at the river. Today, we washed your hands. Soon enough, you will diving into the water without flinching."

She doubted it. Pulling her hands free of his, her arms came around her middle, green eyes assessing their surroundings. The scenery was beautiful – at least, that was what a small voice in the back of her mind said – but they were out in the open. Danzo would spot them a mile away if they weren't careful. He would take her back to that place.

"I want to go inside."

Nodding, Itachi didn't question her, instead gesturing for Sakura to lead the way. Of course, she had yet to gain enough trust to walk behind him – not when there were so many places for her to hide and especially not when she had access to her chakra again.

As they approached the medical room, despite her mind telling her not to, Sakura came to a stop and turned, looking up at Itachi. It took a few moments for the words to form, her discomfort once more threatening silence her, but eventually, she found the strength to say, "By next week, I'll wash my feet in the water."

The proud smile in his eyes brought forth a strange feeling in her chest, almost daring her to hope.

* * *

"You're lowering your guard."

The condescending voice of her shishou had Sakura lowering her head, inwardly wincing. For the past few days, she'd been watching her closely and more often than not, Sakura caught Tsunade glaring at her, expression alone demanding to know what the hell she was even thinking. At that moment in time, Tsunade was blocking her exit of the medical room.

"They're real," she argued weakly.

"They're also the reason why you're in this state," she spat in return, arms crossing beneath her ample breast. "Don't forget why Danzo attacked Konoha or kept us locked away. We were tortured because of them."

* * *

" _Where is Uchiha Itachi hiding?"_

 _The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth as Sakura bit down on her tongue in her attempt to remain silent. She struggled against her restraints, body acting on instinct as it recoiled from the flame drawing closer to her skin once more. The heat alone, before the flame even touched her, was enough to blister her skin and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the sight._

" _Where is Uchiha Shisui?"_

" _I can stop this torture," Danzo informed her from the other side of the room. He was stood beside the door, flanked by his ROOT operatives. "All you have to do is tell me where they are."_

 _Nodding, Sakura breathed a deep sigh of relief when the flame was taken away. The blurred vision of Danzo approaching her reclined position had her silently pleading for as much strength as possible, had her gripping a tight hold of the chair she was in._

" _Are you finally ready to talk?" he questioned._

Forgive me.

 _The blood that had filled her mouth flew through the air as she spat at him, somewhat glad to witness his minute flinch when it splattered across his face and robes. There was more than she'd been expecting, but it didn't bother her._

" _G-Go to hell," she said with as much venom as possible. Even while fear wrapped around her heart and threatened to make her immobile as Ibiki returned to her side and Danzo walked away, she snarled, "I'll never tell you where they are. You'll have to kill me first."_

 _He wiped the blood from his face with a tissue handed to him by his lackey, muttering over his shoulder, "I won't kill you." She barely heard him as the flame licked her skin, never leaving the spot Ibiki had chosen to burn. Throwing her head back the measly couple of inches she could lift it, she sucked in a sharp breath, begging herself to remain strong. "Willing or not, you are going to submit to me and follow my orders, Haruno."_

* * *

"No, I made a choice," she argued despite the trembling of her hands. "I chose to stay quiet – nobody forced me to."

"Are you sure?" questioned Tsunade, a single eyebrow raising. "How do you know they didn't force you to stay silent? It's a simple task for eyes as powerful as theirs."

They wouldn't have done that to her… right? Sakura took a step back, glancing around the room unsurely. The mother and her son were both asleep – something they did a lot of due to their constant fatigue. One day, she was expecting to not hear their laboured breaths of a morning. Instead, there would only be silence. Eerie silence that she wouldn't be able to place for a minute or two, mind struggling to understand what was missing in its slow wake from slumber. And there would be nothing they could do for them once she realised they weren't breathing. They would be dead and the world would move on without them.

"Think about it," her shishou pushed. She continued to block the exit, her stance defiant and assertive. "You were certain Uchiha Shisui could barely see, let alone use his Sharingan before the attack on Konoha." Honey brown eyes narrowed. "Why can he suddenly use it? And the Mangekyō, too. You know what sort of power his eyes possess, don't you?"

Faking going blind was impossible, though. He couldn't have faked it. Not when she worked tirelessly on his sight, trying to restore it. Whatever had happened to his eyes was damaging enough to almost _liquefy_ them. It was why she'd been so goddamn certain the Shisui she saw when first waking up was an impostor. She would sooner believe he was an impostor than faking being blind.

"I'm not an idiot," she found herself snarling suddenly, anger pulsing through her.

"No, you're just their _pet._ "

"Go to hell!"

"Sakura?"

The sight of Shisui had her faltering, memories clashing as she felt a searing pain in her mind. Tsunade was yelling at her, demanding to be heard over whatever the Uchiha was saying, refusing to be ignored.

" _Kill him before he kills you."_

"No," she shouted back at her shishou, green eyes wide with horror. While Tsunade had always ordered her around (it was her duty both as her shishou _and_ her Hokage), she had _never_ outright demanded that she killed someone. No matter how evil that person was, she never told her to kill them. Injure, yes. Maim, yes. But not murder. "Get out!"

Arms were wrapping around her when she tried to run and Sakura thrashed, flinging her body backwards to try and fight the hold. It terrified her when her feet no longer touched the floor, the person lifting her off it altogether in their attempt to subdue her.

"Follow me," she heard someone order.

There was more of them? Damn it, she inwardly cursed and threw her head back, hoping to catch the person's nose. However, they were expecting it, refusing to give her any chance of gaining the upper hand. She heard the man grunt, but not once did he loosen his hold.

"Relax," he told her and she knew instantly that it was Shisui holding her. "I'm not going to hurt you, Sakura."

Damn right he wouldn't. She was tired of people hurting her. She was sick of them thinking they could manipulate her. Growling angrily, Sakura kicked out again, praising herself from she managed to knock him off balance long enough for her to use the wall as momentum, slamming them backwards into the opposite wall. Shisui grunted at the impact and for the briefest of moments, his hold slackened.

That was all she needed to break out, hand grabbing at the wall so that she could push off it.

"Sakura-"

"Don't come near me," she warned darkly, unable to stop her wince when Tsunade continued to yell at her, demanding that she got rid of him.

"Sakura-chan, you-"

"Just grab her," Sasuke snapped and moved forward to try and restrain her.

He was unprepared for her full strength as she threw her arm out, launching him into the wall with a sickening thud. While it didn't cause horrifying damage, it was enough to stun him, to wind him, leaving his red and black eyes to widen, watching her in disbelief. But what the hell was he expecting? For her to give in? Like hell they were taking her back to her cell. She wasn't going to be Danzo's favourite pastime any longer. They weren't going to hurt her again. They weren't going to twist her mind. And if she had to reduce their headquarters to escape, even if it meant her death, then so be it. Whether it was through running or dying, she was escaping. She would be free.

Noticing movement out of the corner of her eye, Sakura prepared herself, fists clenching and she noticed several sets of the Sharingan focusing on the chakra she was summoning.

"Stop-"

"Sakura-"

"Sakura-chan, you're gonna kill-"

" _Kill them already!"_

"Shut up," she screamed, face flushing red. Damn it, how the hell was she supposed to think when they were all shouting at once? "Shut the hell up!"

With noticeable anger, Sasuke pushed away from the wall, his Sharingan seeming eerier than before due to the building rage on his features, twisting them into a harsh scowl. "You-"

Blue chakra showed around her fists when he made a move towards her and Sakura narrowed her eyes. Had it been the real Sasuke, she would've been worried – no, scratch that, she would never have dreamed of harming him. But that was the point. Tsunade had made her see the truth: they weren't real. The real Shisui couldn't use his Sharingan. He was blind. So who the hell was the man approaching her bravely, coming to a standstill mere feet from her?

Sakura wasn't sure how she felt about Tsunade coming to stand by her side, for the blonde was still muttering her orders like she was stuck on a loop, threatening to drive her insane with her voice alone.

"Kill them. Kill them. Kill them. Kill them. Kill them. Kill them-"

How bad would the damage be if she was to lash out at her shishou? How badly would she be punished? She was so damn close to finding out, her fist itching to slam its way through her face. Growling, she looked up at the woman, snapping, "Shut up!" But she wouldn't. Tsunade only grew louder and for a few seconds – the scariest seconds of her life – her once honey brown eyes glowed red. "I don't want to hurt you, Shishou!"

The others were forgotten when Tsunade met her gaze, her expression cold, stony. Red eyes bore down on her, lips moving hurriedly, repeating the same order over and over and over again, telling her to kill them. She looked down on Sakura in such a way that it had her stumbling backwards and into the wall, hands coming up to cover her ears, green eyes wide with horror. For the briefest of moments, she didn't see her shishou.

She saw Danzo.

She was back in the torture room, strapped down to the reclining chair, eyes pried open and forced to meet his, the sight of his Sharingan making reality slip away from her. The worst part about it was that she could never remember what happened after their eyes met – seven sessions in total, all of which were wiped from her mind. They were far worse than the physical torture. At least she knew what was happening. When he used the Sharingan on her, she was in the dark. Everything would go blank. And she would wake up hours later, unable to tell what had been done to her, though always vaguely able to tell something else was missing. There was always something from her memories that she could no longer remember.

" _Kill them!"_

Sakura was quick to react to the hand that reached for her, gripping the man's wrist tightly and yanking him downwards. With her chakra, it was laughably easy pinning him to the ground, her wide eyes fixated on his Sharingan as the breath was ripped from his lungs.

"You're not using that on me again," she snarled, keeping him down with her left hand. The other raised, glowing blue. "You'll never use it again."

Horror had his eyes going wide, hands desperately struggling to keep hers from reaching his eyes.

 _"Forgive me, Sakura."_

 _"Neji, don't-"_

The familiar pain of her chakra pathways being shut down stunned her into silence, body jolting, and she was just barely able to catch herself from collapsing on top the man below her, his hands still holding her (though becoming more comforting, supportive). It felt like time froze when their eyes met, faces only centimetres apart and something lodged itself in her throat when his Sharingan faded, those familiar black eyes sucking the oxygen out of the universe.

 _She nearly…_

"Sh-Shisui," she whispered weakly, trying to fight unconsciousness.

* * *

 _"Your eyes…" He swallowed and leaned closer, pupils dilating._

 _Her breath caught in her throat when Shisui's fingers shifted from her hair to her face, shaking faintly. As she had him, he cupped her face, thumbs stroking beneath her eyes._

 _"What about my eyes?" she whispered, unable to speak any louder._

 _A beautiful smile – the first_ _real_ _smile she'd seen from him since meeting Shisui – pulled at his lips and it stunned her when his forehead bumped against hers._

 _"I can't see them all that clearly, but…" His smile widened. "Your eyes are really green."_

* * *

Realisation had tears slipping soundlessly down her cheeks, the guilt doubling at the pain and betrayal she could see in his eyes. The one thing she knew would definitely break him, the one thing she had witnessed tear him apart, throwing him into the dark abyss that was depression…

Lost in her madness, she tried to send him back there.

"I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly.

* * *

 **A/N - I'm struggling so much with writing Sakura's insanity, but at the same time, it's so much fun (in a really morbid way).**

 **Did any of you catch onto what Danzo has done with his Sharingan? I think I made it really obvious in this chapter, but at the same time, Sakura can't outright admit it because the person is kind of like a lifeline to her. She needs them too much for them to disappear.**

 **Thank you to all who congratulated me/wished me well. I'm still struggling and unfortunately have lost enough weight for it to be noticeable to others, but we're doing our best. My poor fiance is run ragged with trying to keep us healthy and comfortable - I don't know what I'd do without him.**


	18. Lost Along The Way

**Chapter 17 – Lost Along The Way**

"…Shisui?"

Having begun stirring over five minutes ago, Shisui wasn't taken by surprise, though couldn't deny that hearing the tired mumble eased the worry from his shoulders. Adjusting his hold on her, he brought her closer, his cheek pressing to the top of her head.

"Did I fall asleep?" she questioned and he could tell she was refusing to wake up fully, as she nuzzled his chest, sighing in content. The feeling of her arms coming around him, returning his embrace, caused a lump to form in his throat. "How are your eyes?"

Was she stuck in a memory? Had her mind gone back to their bubble? Shisui wouldn't deny that he often thought back on those times, allowing himself to get lost in them. In his – no, in their home, they were at peace. They had a routine. They had comfort and safety. _Stay there,_ he silently begged her fragile mind. _For as long as you can, stay there._

They had never woken in such a way, despite growing so close. There was the time Sakura had fallen asleep in his bed – once – but that hardly counted, as she had been the one holding him, her body trying to curl around his comfortingly. If he shut his eyes, would he be able to go back to their bubble? To convince himself nothing had changed? That they were home and together and Sakura wasn't…?

"Good," he managed to tell her, voice level. For as long as possible, he would allow her mind to be at peace. He would not shatter the illusion created to protect herself.

"I'll get up soon," she promised, but went against her words instantly by snuggling closer. The lump thickened, almost choking him. "Make breakfast-"

"No, stay," Shisui interrupted. Gods, what he wouldn't give to continue holding her. To have her mind return to its previous state. She seemed so calm, so… _okay_. There were no signs of the manipulation that had warped her mind. "As soon as we move, it goes back to being…"

"Professional?" finished Sakura quietly. She sighed again and nodded. "Then I'll stay."

Reluctantly, Shisui opened his eyes to the room surrounding them. After she had lost consciousness, Itachi had guided them to a room that was out of the way of the other refugees, bringing her futon to them so that they would be comfortable. Although not entirely alone, he had soundproofed the room, allowing him to speak privately with Sakura once she woke up. It would also hopefully prevent anything from triggering her, preventing another outburst.

He noticed another watching them from the doorway, his gaze briefly meeting Sasuke's before returning to the mess of hair resting on his chest. Itachi had informed him of Sakura's struggle to bathe, making his heart ache horrifically as more torture methods flew through his mind, filling in the gaps. A mundane task – though it wasn't mundane to her, as she'd always taken pride in her hair – couldn't even be completed because of what they'd done to her. Blocking out those waiting for them outside the room, Shisui shut his eyes, hand coming to the back of her head, bringing her as close as physically possible. Through his actions alone he tried to tell her that she was safe, that she couldn't be harmed in his arms. He wanted to protect her so much that it hurt.

While he couldn't see her smile, he could feel it, her cracked lips stretching against his throat. "I like this side of you, Shisui," she murmured. "You're not as closed off."

How much longer did he have? When would the switch be flipped in her mind? How long until she realised she had no access to her chakra? What was going to trigger her? He didn't have to wonder for long, feeling the tension creeping into her muscles and slowly, weakly, Sakura pulled away from his embrace, hands flat to the futon, caging him in as she leaned over his reclined position. Their faces, like earlier, were centimetres apart and Shisui found himself unable to look away as he witnessed the realisation entering her eyes, expression returning to the cold mask of suffering and hatred. There was a responding pain in his chest, one that only increased when he noticed the minute trembling of her body.

"What-"

Making no move to touch her, Shisui asked, "Do you remember what happened?"

Uncertainty rippled through her, features like an open book to him as he regarded her silently. Still, she didn't move away from him and he took that as a positive sign. Did it mean she remembered what had happened before she lost consciousness? Did she remember how she felt after nearly blinding him? The pain she felt for nearly harming him? That moment between them – no matter how brief it was – told him she was still in there. The woman he'd fallen in love with was a prisoner in her own mind, struggling to the surface.

Green eyes shot to the entrance of the room, breath leaving her at the sight of the others.

When her back hit the wall, hands struggling to steady herself, Shisui knelt before her, blocking her view. "Ignore them," he ordered quietly. "Just focus on me, Sakura."

"Th-They…"

Her fear was choking him. He could feel it in the air around them, leaving her in waves as she fought hard to keep their eyes locked, desperate to free herself of the emotion. "That's it," came his quiet encouragement and daringly, Shisui slowly lifted his hands. "Breathe through it."

She didn't take his hands, but her eyes continued to stay connected with his, wide and scared. "My… M-My chakra. I can't…"

"You scared a lot of people, Sakura," he tried to explain to her, eyebrows knitting together. "It's just a precaution. Soon enough, it will return to you. Please, prove to them that they don't need to fear you. Show them that you don't need to be watched like this."

"Like that'll happen," she snapped, breathless. However, he could see her panic fading and hesitantly, her hands left the wall, instead coming to rest on her thighs. "Just now, I – I mean, why did I…?"

"Itachi and I wondered what would happen if we were to take you away from anything that could potentially trigger you," Shisui stated, though didn't gesture to the room for fear of destroying the unsteady calm between them. "The room has been soundproofed, too."

She was still hesitant, frowning softly. "I thought I was…"

"Home?"

There was a quick, jerky nod. "I forgot about everything, even if it was only for a few moments."

When her eyes suddenly moved to the left, widening fractionally, Shisui followed her line of sight, hiding his frown when he saw nothing. All that was there – to him, at least – were a few boxes. The room was more or less empty, hadn't even been lit up until they entered it.

"Do you see her?" he asked after a few moments, catching her eye once more. "Your shishou?" The feeling of his stomach twisting when she nodded was sickening. It was as he and Itachi feared, then. But how deep did the insanity go? "Is she how you remember her?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?" She flinched, glancing in the direction of the boxes submissively and seeing that she was closing up, Shisui said, "I take it she doesn't like me."

It didn't surprise him when she shook her head. He and Itachi had their suspicions on what Sakura was seeing – and it wasn't her shishou. Well, technically it was. To her, it was. But it wasn't really her. It was a lie. A fabrication based on her feelings and emotions, hoping that it would sway her and make her easier to manipulate. After all, there was a reason why she was scared of the Sharingan, just like there was a reason why she'd repeatedly gone after his specifically, rather than Sasuke's, or Itachi's or even Kakashi's. It was always _his_.

Unknowingly, Danzo had targeted Shisui's feelings, too. Had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have hesitated to use his Sharingan to reverse the damage. But he couldn't do that to Sakura. He couldn't look her dead in the eye, knowing and _seeing_ how utterly terrified she was of him, as he invaded her mind and changed her way of thinking and the way she viewed the world. He just couldn't do it.

He glanced towards the others when there was movement, nodding once when Itachi stood at the front of the group, his features relaxed but eyes questioning. Unlike every other time he saw him, the younger Uchiha's Sharingan was not activated and he knew it was for the same reason Shisui avoided using his. The last thing they wanted to do was give Sakura more reason to fear them.

There was conflict evident on Sakura's features as she regarded Itachi silently, watching him entering the room and approaching them. Her muscles were tensed, hands clenching into fists in the sheet, but her eyes were uncertain, questioning whether she could trust him.

On his way, he grabbed a box, using it as a chair once it was placed beside their futon. "How do you feel?"

"Empty," she accused. They noticed her gaze darting towards the boxes, eyebrows faintly coming together. She was struggling to stay composed, to hide her true feelings from them. "You took my chakra."

"We discussed why," Shisui reminded her quietly.

With his back to the group and the soundproof barrier keeping their conversation private, Itachi told her, "You are going to show them that it is unnecessary."

"I-" She cut herself off, once more looking over at the boxes. "I know already."

Was she answering Itachi, or her twisted mind? How powerful was the image of Tsunade? Was it constant? Or did she appear whenever Sakura was uncertain and appeared to be trusting them too much? What would he see if he was to activate his Sharingan? He wouldn't, not without her permission, but it didn't stop him from wondering. Would he see through the lie? There was no doubt about it. Prior to his blinding, no Sharingan had been able to go against his. Perhaps Itachi's Mangekyō could give him a run for his money – assuming he'd mastered it.

It was an unspoken agreement between himself and Itachi that they wouldn't disclose any discoveries with the others. Although they surely had their suspicions, they would not entertain them. Those who _needed_ to know what was going on, knew enough. Sakura did not need people gawking at her like she was an animal trapped in a cage, wondering how soon it would be until she snapped.

"Before we allow the others to join us, there is something I want to ask you, Sakura." She immediately looked to Itachi and Shisui didn't fail to miss the flash of sadness in his friend's expression as he witnessed the lack of trust in her eyes. "This." He gestured to the space around them, then to the futon she was seated on. "This set up – would you like this to happen more regularly?"

When their eyes met, he told her, "With or without me. It's entirely up to you."

There was no use in lying about what he wanted. Shisui wanted her to want it. He wanted her to want him to hold her close, to pick up where they left off. He wanted to wake up with her in his arms every morning. That brief moment of peace, where everything was perfect and calm and their worlds hadn't been savagely torn to shreds – he wanted it. Even if it only lasted a few moments, he wanted it.

"You can think about it," Itachi added at her continued silence.

"What about the boy and his mother?"

Her question – no matter how offhandedly it was spoken – stirred up hope within Shisui and he held back the urge to smile in her direction.

Itachi sighed at that, admitting, "The chances of them surviving through the winter are close to none. Keeping the illness isolated is all we can do."

"Keeping _them_ isolated, you mean."

It stunned Shisui when his friend averted his gaze, reminding him of the child he'd once been – confused about life and death, unsure what his position in life truly was. Before he was attacked by Danzo, Itachi had been more sure of himself. Not perfect and certainly didn't have his future written in stone, but he knew what he wanted and was determined to protect it with everything he had. How big of a step back was Danzo's attack to the younger Uchiha?

"I already said I can't," she suddenly snapped at the boxes, fists clenching against her thighs. Shisui watched the way the skin strained, her healing wounds threatening to reopen if she wasn't careful. "I don't know the first thing about healing someone."

After only a brief meeting of their gazes, Itachi shifted in his seat and Shisui nodded once, informing him he was keeping her shielded from the curious stares of those outside the room.

"Just because you-" She flinched, sentence cutting off abruptly, before nodding once. "Yes, Tsunade-shishou."

How often were her conversations with the fake Tsunade? How real did they seem to her? Real enough for the image to talk over Itachi. Real enough to demand her full attention, evoking a kaleidoscope of emotions that Sakura had no hopes in deciphering. Surely, some part of her understood that Tsunade was dead. She had even stated once that they tortured her with the Hokage's blood – to make _that_ big an impact, they would need a lot of blood. They would need to keep the torture constant. The Sakura he'd come to know before the attack was strong. No matter what others thought of her, she was strong mentally. To face life's struggles, to continue fighting for what she believed in, to protect their village, to become his carer… Yes, Haruno Sakura was strong. He dared people to argue with him.

It wasn't about the titles she'd earned. So what if she was known as the second Tsunade? So what if she was taught by the infamous Copy-Nin, followed by one of the Legendary Sannin? So what if, during spars, she was known to keep up with the prodigy of the Uchiha clan, the heir, Itachi?

Sakura, no matter who taught her and for how long, clawed her way to where she'd been. She faced countless obstacles, countless heartaches, and still came out on top, even if it took her a while to get there. Her patience, her loyalty, her compassion and determination, was what he'd fallen for during their time together. Every day, without fail, she would wake him in a way that was almost a response to his possible mood of the day. If he was down? She was quiet, but comforting. Silently telling him that she was there when he was ready to talk. If he was feeling determined? She encouraged that determination and added to his hopes with her own, working hard enough for them both and more.

The woman before him was not broken easily. She had held on for an impossibly long time – proven by the fact she was still capable of aiding in not only Hinata's escape from Danzo's tortures, but also releasing him from the slug world. Despite everything that had happened, she was still capable of thinking of strategies and getting the job done. If it ended in her prolonged torture? If she had to keep suffering for her loved ones to be freed? For the refugees to have an extra trump card? She would hand herself over willingly.

She had the heart of a healer. The mind of a fierce warrior. The determination of a loyal friend and protector.

Shisui found himself almost breathless as his eyes greedily took in her features, commanding each and every part of her to memory. Either Sakura would find her way back to them, or the woman sitting before them would learn to adjust, to adapt. But either way, she was going to grow from it. It wasn't going to keep her down. His interference wasn't necessary, but if it was, he wouldn't allow it to keep her down. Just like she didn't allow his loss of sight and the responding depression to break him.

"My offer is still on the table," he spoke without thinking, getting carried away with his own thoughts. "I am willing to learn the ways of healing with you – if that's what you want."

"Why do you all keep adding that to your sentences?" she demanded, green eyes narrowing. " _If that's what you want_." He hadn't even realised and he could only watch as the annoyance in her eyes grew. "I get that I'm not like the rest of you – Danzo screwed with my mind to the point where I don't even know what the hell is real anymore," she added with a bitter laugh, looking in the direction of where he assumed she could see Tsunade standing. "But _stop_ treating me like I'm a child you're trying to manipulate into behaving." Cold green eyes narrowed once more, though this time, on the boxes. " _All of you_."

A child they were trying to manipulate into behaving… She couldn't have worded it better. And he could tell with a single glance in Itachi's direction that he was equally as stunned by the realisation that wrapped around their hearts, taking their breath away.

"How are you supposed to move on if we keep holding you back?" questioned Itachi, almost to himself. Faintly, he smirked and leaned back, eyes searching her features until he finally decided on something, asking her, "We have a meeting later this evening, where we will discuss our supplies, living arrangements and most importantly, the safety of those in our care and how we can gain more support from surrounding shinobi nations." After a brief moment of pause, Itachi then added, "I must warn you, Sakura, that during these meetings, we take note of Konoha-nin who are recently listed as missing in action, or killed. There is the possibility that the names of your friends could be on that list."

Would she be able to handle that? What if she heard a name and was struck with memories she couldn't fully understand? What if she was triggered by it?

"I'll be there."

No, he wouldn't worry excessively over what her triggers were, Shisui decided as he watched the determination in her eyes growing. He would let her take risks, but if she happened to wobble, he would be there to steady her. He would offer her strength in times when she felt weakest. He would comfort her as much as she allowed or needed.

Most importantly, he would not hold her back.

* * *

They were separated not long after the talk with Itachi. Sakura chose to return to the medical wing until the meeting started, whereas Shisui decided a few hours of training wouldn't do him any harm.

It was an uneventful day other than her explosion – everyone was walking on egg shells around her and each other, doing all they could to prevent another episode. After all they'd been through, they merely wanted an easy life (or as easy as one could live in their situation). Shisui did not argue about Kakashi's presence outside the medical room, nor did he disagree with Sasuke and Naruto situating themselves beside the archway to the main hall, pretending like they weren't listening in on Sakura. To voice his disapproval was to give her unwanted attention. So, Shisui remained silent.

"How bad?"

Instead, he had a new battle he had to face. One that came in the form of faintly twitching red and black eyes, their pinwheel design slowly fading to the usual tomoe at his question. There was exhaustion written all over Itachi's features in that moment, sweat beading on his temple and for a brief moment, Shisui feared the worst. He feared his friend had been spending way too much time with the sick child. The effects of the Sharingan rarely showed outwardly – it was mainly headaches. Sometimes passing out if it had drained them of chakra.

Sensing that they were alone, Itachi eased himself down on to a protruding rock, breathing out a deep sigh. It was with a wary frown that Shisui joined him, the pair of them watching the surrounding area, listening out for potential threats. They were out in the open, though not far from the hideout. Nobody could hear them from inside.

"I am not losing my sight," he explained after a few moments of admiring the freedom of nature around them, his Sharingan refusing to be deactivated. "However, I fear any further use of the Mangekyō will start the process."

Of course. It wasn't the ordinary Sharingan that caused such devastating long-term effects. No, it was the power ups. New power ups always came with a price they had to pay eventually – sooner, rather than later in most cases. It quickly became apparent that overusing the Mangekyō resulted in them growing blind and it was a fate one had to learn to accept, for it was inevitable. After discovering his fate, Shisui always asked himself a single question before using his most deadly weapon: did the village need him to risk going blind, or could he protect them with his ordinary power? If the opponent was strong, then Shisui held nothing back right from the start. The sooner the battle ended, the better.

"It's unavoidable," Shisui stated the obvious with a sigh. "And the headaches?"

"Manageable."

Meaning they were causing extreme pain. Did Itachi really think he could hide such things from him? He watched him grow up. He knew his tells. "The chakra depletion?"

Silence.

"I understand you wish to protect everyone here, Itachi," he said without hesitation, understanding it was a sensitive topic but knowing his friend well enough to know that he needed hitting around the head with the truth sometimes. "But you cannot do that if you are exhausted. If Danzo attacked us today, you would be leading us in the battle against him. You would have to face him yourself. Trust me when I say Danzo is much stronger than he appears. We wouldn't stand a chance in our condition."

"And that is not including ROOT," added Itachi, his gaze going upwards as he watched a bird soaring over their heads, one of its feathers coming loose. Reaching up once it was close enough, he held it in his grasp, admiring the silkiness of the black feather. "They are scouting the area," he informed him after another pause, listening carefully to the resounding caws of his crows. "Other than a family of travellers several miles south, we are alone."

Crows were remarkably intelligent creatures. Shisui admired the bird as it disappeared from view, cawing a final time before it settled in a tree. Although risky, Itachi's choice to have his crows scout the surrounding areas was wise – they blended in when they weren't coming to his defence or attacking. The only time they would cause someone to do a double take was when they were together, for while a murder of crows was not unusual, the sheer amount Itachi could summon _was_. Sometimes, crows in the area – ones that weren't even a part of his summoning contract – responded to his needs. He'd always had a connection with them, as far as Shisui could remember.

"Itachi."

His friend sighed and within seconds, the feather in his hand was incinerated, leaving no trace of its existence. Then, their eyes met and he said, "I will take care of myself."

"That includes sleeping."

Like the rest of them, Itachi suffered with insomnia and when he _did_ manage sleep, it was as though he was captured in his own horrifying genjutsu. He once told Shisui he'd rather be exhausted than go through the horrors of his own mind.

"Including sleep."

Satisfied with his vaguely defeated tone, Shisui resumed his watch of nature, his eyes soon settling on the sight of the river. Itachi had informed him on Sakura's promise to herself, of her struggle to bathe due to the tortures she'd been through. He wondered what that must be like, witnessing the beauty of the flowing river, the sun shining off it and promising them a warm, pleasant swim, yet being too afraid to try it for herself, unable to dip so much as a fingertip into the water.

"We can't help her if we don't take care of ourselves," Shisui murmured to him, trying to ignore the all too familiar pain in his chest that always accompanied his thoughts of Sakura.

"I know."

* * *

They were loud when they approached the meeting hall and in response, he assessed her features out of the corner of his eye, though not once did Shisui question if they had made the right decision. Sakura needed to be there. She needed to hear the harrowing reality of their situation. Keeping her in the dark wasn't helping anyone.

" _We can't trust her,"_ he heard someone snap. " _She doesn't even know who she is!"_

 _Deep breaths,_ he told himself, refusing to let their words anger him. For Sakura – for his own sake – he would remain level-headed. Holding out his hand when they approached the archway, they waited, allowing Itachi another moment to try and calm the other shinobi.

" _Regardless of how you feel, Sakura is a valuable asset to this cause and has had first hand experience in fighting Danzo."_

Perhaps not wanting to hear anymore, Sakura brushed past his outstretched hand, stepping into the room without hesitation. She didn't falter at the sight of their hard eyes, watching her with clear distrust and she seemed unaffected by the whispering that soon joined the staring. The silence had only lasted a handful of a seconds, every set of eyes regarding her critically.

Shisui remained by her side as she stood there, her eyes on Itachi's as the man sat in front of them all, his body language relaxed but gaze careful. Despite looking so at peace, Shisui knew he would be the first one there should anything happen. The others would not get close enough to Sakura to cause harm, or be harmed by her.

"She only had one use and she can't even do that anymore."

"Shut the hell up," Naruto suddenly snapped back at the older man, blue eyes livid. "Sakura-chan has lots of uses. She was the Hokage's apprentice!"

"If she's so great why is that child still sick?"

"She has nothing to offer us."

"Why did you risk your life saving her when she's useless to us?"

Sakura remained unmoving, seemingly not hearing their harsh words as she stood calmly. It was something Shisui admired greatly, as he himself was struggling to hold onto his composure. He desperately wanted to come to her defence, to argue that the others didn't know enough about the situation to understand her. They had no right to question her usefulness to their group.

"Go, Sakura," he ordered quietly while the others continued to argue amongst themselves about her. To their right, Naruto was one of the most animated in his argument, now red in the face and threatening to beat all kinds of shades out of the small number of shinobi badmouthing his friend. Hinata tried to calm him, but it was a wasted attempt. It only made him angrier. "We will stand closer to Itachi."

Nodding, she walked forward and Shisui kept himself directly behind her, once more admiring her composure. For someone who struggled so greatly with what was real, with her own mind, she was doing so well.

The meeting room wasn't large – not even half the size of the main hall – and many of them were squashed shoulder to shoulder, unable or unwilling to offer them aid in making their way to the front. Only those who knew her personally, as more than just the Hokage's disciple, showed her kindness. The former guard of the Hokage pushed back at the aggravated crowd, parting them and giving her access to Itachi.

"Why does she get to stand with Itachi-sama?" someone demanded. "She doesn't deserve to be so close to him."

It wasn't the typical fan-girl snarling the demands, Shisui noted, assessing the hard eyes around them. They disliked how she was being favoured over the rest of them – over people who had fought alongside the man who had offered food and shelter to them. They had a point, he supposed. Since the rescue, Sakura had rarely interacted with the rest of them, with Itachi soon going out of his way to help her avoid the others when it grew too much for her. Nobody else had their meals brought to them. They weren't under his protection when they went outside to bathe or relieve themselves. They couldn't understand why Itachi went that step further for Sakura and were now angered that she was allowed to stand so close to him during an important meeting, suggesting her opinion was more important.

When someone blocked their way, halfway through a demand of their own, Sakura reacted on instinct, eyes wide with fright as she slapped their raised hand away from her. A second later and she was behind him, his Sharingan activating and staring the man down coldly.

"Don't touch her."

Genma grabbed the furious man by the back of his collar, throwing him back into line and once more allowing them to move forward. He nodded once at Sakura, something in his eyes causing her to quickly look away, lips turning downwards as she mumbled her thanks.

"How about you try eating with the rest of us before joining something like this?"

"You can't even handle being in the main hall. What makes you think you'll handle this?"

"Enough."

The following silence was surreal to him as Itachi stood to his full height, raising his voice just enough to speak over the rest of them. The way they responded to his authority was something Shisui had yet to grow used to. While he'd always known Itachi would make a fierce leader (he was heir to the clan, after all), he hadn't expected that leadership to spill outside of the clan. People were wary of trusting the Uchiha.

"I understand your distrust and your reasoning for feeling that way," he said to them, gesturing with his chin for Shisui to take Sakura further to the side, where Kakashi and Sasuke were currently stood. They were focused on Itachi when they reached them, but he noticed how they parted, silently ordering Sakura to stand between them. Shisui stood on Sasuke's other side, his back to the crowd of gathered shinobi, whereas they had a view of the younger Uchiha's profile. "The Sakura standing with us now is not the same Sakura many of you knew, saw or heard stories about."

"Because of Danzo," added Naruto angrily, forcing his way to the front of the others. "Tell them she's in the same boat as the rest of us, Itachi. They're trying to ostracise someone who went through hell because of Danzo whereas most of these assholes don't even know what Danzo looks like."

"Naruto-kun-"

"I'm not staying quiet any longer," he snapped before offering Hinata a look of apology for losing his temper. "They're crying about her standing almost side by side with Itachi, but she has more right to do that than any of us here. Most of you wouldn't even be here right now if it weren't for her that night, y'know!"

Noticing their uncertain glances and questioning whispers, Itachi stated, "His words are true. After aiding my parents – the leaders of the Uchiha Clan – Sakura then fought several ROOT operatives, soon followed by battling Danzo himself. All for the sake of allowing as many of us to flee as possible. Sakura did this knowing she would be captured and tortured, or killed." His voice carried throughout the meeting room, the authority everyone could hear warning them not to interrupt him. Shisui wondered if he knew how much he resembled his father in that moment – his presence alone commanded the respect of his followers. "Above all else, Sakura is one of my closest friends and someone I care for dearly. Ask yourselves: if one of your precious friends is not among us, would you go to the same lengths for them? How would you feel if they received the same welcome as you have given Sakura? After all they have been through?

"Sakura is by no means a victim – she is a shinobi. One of the strongest kunoichi I know. And as shinobi we must endure. That is what Sakura is doing – enduring. If I can offer her support, then I will. Those of you who knew Sakura before the attack know in your hearts that on many occasions, she has supported our village. Now, it is our turn to support her."

There is was. What Shisui had always seen in his friend, only magnified. The leader he was born to be and altered to fit his own gentle way of thinking. While proud and strategic like his father, Itachi gained his followers' favour by showing a more vulnerable side to himself, allowing them to see his emotions and hear his fears. To them, he was relatable. He understood them and vice versa.

"Isn't that what we cherished so much about our village? Konoha was a village where we protected and supported one another. It had its faults – nothing is perfect – but we were united."

Risking a glance over his shoulder, Shisui noted that most of the occupants, if not all of them, were once more on his side, nodding their agreements at his words.

"When we take back Konoha, we will do so united."

He faced forward following their responding yells and cheers, allowing a minute smirk to play on his lips. What had they been so worried about? Itachi had it under control. His friend had to stop doubting himself so much – _he_ had to stop doubting him, too. Itachi was no longer the thirteen year old boy who was torn between his loyalty to his clan and his love and need to protect his village. He had grown from that.

"We will start the meeting now, so please seat yourselves. This will be a much longer meeting than usual," Itachi informed them, copying the rest of them as they sat by sitting in his chair. For the briefest of moments, Shisui noticed his discomfort of facing the rest of them in what looked like a throne while they sat on the cold, hard stone, but he reigned in those emotions and returned to being their leader. He supposed it was quite the change for him, but he would have to grow used to it eventually. It was in his blood to lead. "I would like to start by following on from the previous topic – Sakura and her position."

Why it only just occurred to him that Itachi's Sharingan was not activated, Shisui was unsure. It wasn't until he met Sakura's eye that he noticed she was still calm – no flinches or noticeable fear like when she caught sight of their Sharingan.

"While everyone here deserves an explanation as to what happened earlier today, please understand that I will only share necessary information to protect my friend's privacy." The silence was intense and Shisui found himself holding his breath, muscles slowly tensing. What the others were about to hear was not going to go down well. "Simply put: Danzo has unethical methods of manipulation and torture. And it was recently discovered that after the attack, Danzo acquired the Sharingan. More specifically, my father's."

There was noticeable tension in Sasuke's body as his expression darkened, leading Naruto to glance his way, possibly wondering if he was best switching places with the youngest Uchiha. Shisui shook his head at him when the blond sent him that same question with his eyes. _Take a closer look,_ he wanted to tell the boy. Sasuke was fighting the activation of his Sharingan, as he knew it would only exacerbate the situation. He knew how important it was that Sakura was accepted into the group. He would not jeopardise that. For the first time in a long while, he was pushing aside his rage and putting someone else first.

"It was unknown by most that my father had gained the Mangekyō. He kept it a secret from both the village and his own clan, for he knew it would only cause more conflict. For those of you who don't know, the Mangekyō is an advanced form of the Sharingan, created by great emotional trauma. Only a handful of Uchiha manage to obtain it."

It felt odd sharing their clan's secrets with what were classed as outsiders. After growing up under their strict rules, Shisui had grown used to protecting their secrets, to sealing away Sharingan if he happened upon dying clansmen. The Sharingan was their most prized possession – it was what made them the fearsome Uchiha Clan. However, it was necessary. The others had to know what they were up against.

"Due to my father's secrecy, it is unknown what jutsu and techniques he acquired through his Mangekyō. Like no two people are the same, no two Sharingan are the same. They can learn the same jutsu and share similar traits, but they each have one unique ability. My own Mangekyō, for example, has the ability to trap the minds of whoever I choose in a powerful genjutsu. Only a second will pass on the outside, but in the person's mind, I can draw out the genjutsu for as long as I wish. It can last hours or days."

There was an uneasy feeling around the room, Shisui noted as he watched the others from the corner of his eye. Sakura was all but on the edge of her seat, green eyes hard and narrowed as she listened intently, fists clenching on her thighs and giving away her true emotions. She wasn't as calm as she appeared – she was scared. Just the mentioning of the Sharingan filled her with fear.

"My friend and fellow clansmen, Shisui, is known to you all. You know him as 'Shisui of the Body Flicker'. A prodigy of our clan. However, what many of you don't know is how terrifyingly powerful his eyes truly are. They are classed as being of the highest calibre. No other Sharingan can withstand his Mangekyō or go up against it, warranting many to try and steal them over the years once his abilities became known to enemies."

He pretended not to notice the startled look in Sakura's eyes as they snapped to meet his, a fraction wider than usual and skin growing sickly pale. By her side, Sasuke shifted in his seat, more than likely preparing himself for another one of Sakura's attempts to take his eyes.

"Sakura." That startled look soon became more palpable as it filled her entire features, no doubt the pressure of the meeting weighing down on her as Itachi spoke with her directly. "There is a reason why, when you are feeling threatened and lash out, you always go for Shisui."

"Danzo," she replied numbly, swallowing. He noticed her fists faintly trembled.

Itachi nodded once. "And there is a reason why Danzo has ordered you to take Shisui's eyes every time you see the Sharingan," he began patiently, then briefly glanced out at the gathered shinobi. Fortunately – whether it was due to the tension that was slowly choking all hope out of them – the rest of the group was staying silent. "While Danzo possesses my father's eyes, he knows he is unable to go against Shisui's. The rumours of his eyes being the most powerful since Uchiha Madara's time are not an exaggeration."

Having grown used to the ever watchful eyes of his clan, Shisui was unaffected by the many gazes boring into his back, instead continuing to watch Itachi. On many occasions, Fugaku and the elders had spoken of him as though he wasn't even in the room with them, discussing the abilities of his eyes and how they would benefit their clan during the coup d'état. It wasn't a stroke to his ego and it didn't make him feel good about himself having his techniques boasted about. It was merely something he endured, since being powerful always came at a cost.

"Danzo knows that he cannot run a village for long on fear and punishment. Eventually, people will fight back. However, with Shisui's eyes, he would be able to resolve that issue before it even arose." There was a long silent pause, one that seemed to drag out for an eternity and allowed them to hear the children playing in the main hall. "Shisui's Mangekyō – more specifically, the technique Danzo wants more than anything, is the technique that allows him to enter a person's mind and manipulate them. This is done by giving the person false experiences, resulting in them believing they are acting on their own free will. They are responding to the false images and experiences. The worst part is that the victim never notices they are being manipulated."

"And whatever's been done to me, can easily be undone by Shisui," she added, her voice sounding thick. Once more, uncertain green eyes met his, the fear in them forcing him to look away. "Why haven't you done anything?" she demanded quietly. "Instead of leaving me like this, as a liability and a threat to everyone here, you could've reversed whatever he's done to me."

His answer was swift and simple as he told her, "I refuse to manipulate you and take away your freedom."

"What freedom?" came her snapped response. "Do I look free to you?"

"How would I be any different to Danzo if I was to use that jutsu on you?" he questioned without missing a beat, finally braving her fear as he met her gaze steadily. "Like Danzo, I would be manipulating you. I would be in control of your mind, Sakura. Do not take Kotoamatsukami lightly."

But she didn't seem to care, her expression growing desperate as she moved closer, begging him to reverse the damage. It wasn't hard to notice the heaving of her chest or her heavy breathing, however. She was panicking despite her desperation to be free of her mental torture. More than anything, Shisui wanted to help her. He wanted to take away her pain. But in the long run, it would do her no good. It could even have adverse effects on their relationship down the line. Who was to say his own selfish wants wouldn't transfer to her? What if he unknowingly manipulated her feelings regarding him? Shisui would never forgive himself.

"The mind is already a delicate thing," he explained after a moment, interrupting her. "Yours more than anyone's-"

"I don't care," Sakura snapped. "It could help me get back at him."

"You're going after Danzo?" Sasuke scoffed suddenly. "Even if Shisui reversed the damage, you're in no state to go after him."

"Damaged or not, I'm going after not only Danzo, but whoever was involved or there during my time being tortured by them," she muttered coldly, that rage he'd grown used to seeing taking over everything else. "They're going to regret everything they've done to me."

"Don't be ridiculous," someone shouted from further back. "You can't possibly know every face that was there and even if you did, how the hell will you fight them? We've all seen you be subdued. You wouldn't last five minutes against ROOT."

Another stood up, her single eye piercing as she went against the shaking of her hands and body, her expression trying so hard to show her determination as Hinata told her, "I was by your side in that cell, Sakura-san. I will be by your side when you face Danzo, too." Glancing around herself and nodding her thanks to her sister and cousin for their unwavering support, Hinata then said, "As we are in this moment, Sakura-san and I have no chance in winning against Danzo. But we will grow stronger together. We will _naturally_ move past all that has happened."

"No more manipulation," Naruto agreed with them.

"We won't follow in Danzo's footsteps," Genma stated, the senbon in his mouth moving with his words. "The people we lost that night would be sickened with us if we went back on who we are. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have a beautiful woman waiting for me on the other side – she'll give me hell if I'm anything like the man who sent her there."

"The Will of Fire," Itachi spoke over the rest of them, commanding their attention once more. "Konoha is a family – we cherish, believe in and fight to protect our village and the people in it. Just as our predecessors before us."

"The Will of Fire," the occupants of the room repeated.

* * *

 **A/N - A reader on one of my other stories has said they're interested in me posting my playlists for my stories. For each story, I have a completely different playlist, one that inspires me or fits with the story and they said they love listening/seeing what inspires the author. Is that something any of you would find interesting too?**

 **ANYWAYS what did you all think of this chapter? How do you think Sakura should respond to the with or without Shisui part and why? ;-)**


	19. The Things You Put In Your Head

**Chapter 18 – The Things You Put In Your Head**

Glancing over her shoulder, she pulled the blanket away, tutting under her breath at how heavy the ugly checked thing was. It was similar to what the inns had to offer around Konoha, reminding her of the countless nights she'd spent lying awake, worrying herself sick about how her current mission would turn out, worrying endlessly about the boy she loved.

"Fever," she murmured to herself, agitated to say the least. "How many times do I have to tell those idiots?"

She felt her stomach grow knotted as she spotted the state of the child's skin, the strange, mottled shade of blue filling her with a dread she couldn't entirely understand. Whatever illness he had, for some reason, she knew of it. The name of it was on the tip of her tongue. Ready to be blurted out so that the others could treat him.

 _So that_ you _can treat him_.

Sakura frowned at that, unable to place where the thought had come from. It surely couldn't have been her own. She wasn't fit to be a medic – couldn't even take care of herself.

"You-"

"Where's the man who treated me?" demanded Sakura, cutting the wide eyed mother off. "Why hasn't he seen to your son?"

The woman was wary as she approached them, clearly attempting to assess the situation as she took in the room, then her son. "He has – there's not much he can do without the specialist equipment needed for testing."

But surely someone of his age would have at least _some_ experience? Surely ordinary medics were capable of noticing symptoms? So what if they didn't have chakra to probe the patient's body? They were _trained_ to spot warning signs and symptoms and the child laying before her, sucking in grunting shallow breaths, was riddled with them. The skin, the fever, the lethargy and the breathing – just to name a few. Goddamn it, why couldn't she name the illness? Why did she _know_ the illness and the signs? What the hell did she do?

Just as the mother made a move to replace the blanket on her son, Sakura once more tugged it away, throwing it carelessly to the ground. "Stop with the blankets," she snapped. How stupid were these people? "You're going to kill him."

"But he's cold-"

"No, he's not," she argued without pause. "He's not shivering like the rest of us – he's doing it because he's got a fever." Shooting a warning glare towards her when the mother eyed the blanket unsurely, Sakura asked, "How old is he?"

"Five."

 _Ask when he started to show the signs of being sick. Did he receive any medical treatment beforehand?_

The questions had her raising an eyebrow, green eyes once more assessing him. What would it matter if he'd received medical treatment before getting so sick? What kind of infection was severe enough to–

 _There. You have it. Treat him._

"When did he start getting sick?" she asked, trying to hide her nerves.

Just as uncertain, the mother sat beside her son, gently taking his hand with a frown. "Around the same time we got here – a couple of weeks before yourself." Noticing Sakura's expectant expression pushing for more information, she added hesitantly, "We'd run away from Konoha, claiming that we were visiting family when we requested leave from the village."

Even civilians had to request to leave now? Shinobi had always been burdened with the dreaded process of requests, having to inform the Hokage weeks in advance unless it was an emergency. Anyone unaccounted for on the register to leave or enter the village, was questioned and treated with great suspicion. But civilians had never been tied down by such a rule, since they weren't assets like the rest of them. The rules were far more lenient, to the extent that there _were_ no rules.

"I think we were wandering through the forest for a total of four days when we got caught in the crossfire of a battle." Sadly, she looked to her son's sweating face before reaching out with the rag from the bucket beside his bed, wiping his face down with water that was no doubt room temperature. "Hatake-san's ninken guided us here. Fortunately we weren't too far."

"What kind of injuries did you both sustain?"

The illness she had in mind was not contagious. Though, Sakura supposed, occasionally parasites were equally as capable of causing or spreading it. Fungi and other bacteria, too. Said pathogens were more than capable of being transferred, usually through contaminated objects. Had they been treated with the same medical utensils? Was it due to the medical room so painfully obviously being unsterilized?

"Nothing too severe," she assured her with a shaky smile. "I had a few scrapes and a fairly deep gash on my calf."

"And the boy?"

"Hisoa was the same as myself – scrapes and a gash. A few bruises here and there. We were relatively untouched. One of the shinobi told us to run, but we fell into a ditch because we were frightened and running blindly, too afraid to truly focus on our surroundings. That's where we were injured – the ditch, I mean."

Even if the pathogens were transferred, it wasn't a guarantee for the second person to contract the illness. Was that why the mother wasn't effected as greatly as her son? No, that wasn't true. She _was_ suffering, but for Hisoa's sake, she hid it the best she could. Instead, she continued to put his needs first, clawing through her own pain to try and give him a fighting chance at life.

 _That's a real hero for you. Not someone like that monster Danzo – someone who claims to have the entire village in his best interest – but her. Those who work to the point of exhaustion to protect the ones they love. Who risk their lives fighting for them. Like the_ real _Tsunade-sama when she almost died to save us all. Not the–_

"Hurry up."

The agitation in her shishou's voice had Sakura wincing but much to her confusion, the other voice she'd been hearing up until that point fell silent. Like it was never there to begin with, simply a random thought of her own that she couldn't place. Chuckling once under her breath, she shook her head at her own paranoia. What was she so shocked about? The state her body was in was shocking, sure, but they couldn't see that her mind was a thousand times worse. There was no comparing the damage. Hearing voices was the least of her problems.

"You know what's wrong with him. Treat him."

"How?"

"You know how," Tsunade snapped at her, honey brown eyes narrowing with frustration. "Stop blocking everything out."

But if she let it all back in, it would overwhelm her. The dams in her mind were doing a remarkable job and even then, she struggled. Immensely. If they were lowered, there was no telling what state she would be in. Would she become a zombie, trapped in her own mind, reliving the torture? She couldn't become more vulnerable than what she already was. She couldn't.

"Haruno-san?"

No. She couldn't do it. She wasn't about to dive headfirst into the madness for some kid who didn't mean a damn thing to her. He was dying anyway – what good would sending herself down that dark path do?

"What are you doing?"

"Haruno-san?"

"Treat him."

"Are you okay?"

"You're wasting your talents. All that time I spent on you. Training you. _Raising you_."

"Sakura-san?"

"Sakura-chan?"

"Sakura."

Biting down on her tongue to the point of drawing blood when her back bumped into a chest, Sakura spun on her heel, unable to keep the fright from her expression as she met the cold stare of her former teammate. Sasuke was unmoving, his features composed. Not once did he look around the room, refusing to allow her to break eye contact. She felt cold. Sick. Dizzy. The room around her was spinning, their voices sounding distant as she fought hard to hear them through the pulse thundering throughout her body, threatening to deafen her. Weak. She was so goddamn weak.

"What's wrong with him?"

Chest heaving, limbs shaking with the effort of keeping herself standing, Sakura took a half step back, but was unable to look away from Sasuke. His question repeated itself in her mind, accompanied with scattered memories of a youth that evoked heartbreak and suffering, elation and love. Throughout it all, she saw those eyes. Those cold, lonely eyes.

"S-Sepsis," she barely managed to whisper.

"Hyuuga. You're trained in medical ninjutsu."

The woman moved behind her, more than likely checking the boy's vitals. "Only the basics," admitted Hinata, her voice hushed. "I can try-"

"Your chakra is too unsteady," Naruto argued. "It's too risky – you could kill him."

The fake Naruto. Pain barely registered in her mind when she bit down on her abused lip, that voice in her mind whispering harshly that if she looked behind herself, she would see for sure that the Naruto with them, was a fake. Tempted, her head turned an inch or two to the right, only to come to a stop with Sasuke's eyes narrowed minutely.

"We have to do something, Naruto-kun," she replied brokenly and there was the sound of more movement behind her, followed by the rustling of packets. "He has been in this state for too long already."

Both Hinata and Naruto spoke amongst themselves, discussing ways of treating the child, using medical terms and mentioning treatments that Sakura _knew_ the latter knew nothing about. There wasn't a chance in hell that Naruto knew–

"Don't."

Eyes still glued on his, she didn't miss Sasuke's warning and instantly, she stopped moving. "He's-"

"The civilian medic should know what to do," Hinata suddenly told Naruto. "Please watch over Hisoa-kun while I go find him and explain the situation."

What was Hinata thinking? Despite the Uchiha's warning, she turned quickly, unable to hide the disbelief as her friend left the room hurriedly. Why the hell would she leave such an obvious fake with the boy?

"You noticed it, too," Tsunade stated, not asked.

How could she not? He didn't even look like the boy she caught glimpses of in her memories. Didn't have the same personality. It was such a poor impersonation that it was laughable, because how _stupid_ were the rest of the group to fall for it? Unless they did know? Were they humouring whoever had planted the fake? No, that made no sense. Too much valuable information was shared with it in the room with them. Itachi wouldn't do that if he knew the truth – he was too determined on protecting everyone.

"It's not impossible to fool someone like Uchiha Itachi," her shishou warned her quietly, fingers tapping a restless rhythm on her bicep once her arms were folded. Together, they watched Naruto explaining to the mother what was happening, telling her they had a name for what was wrong with the boy now. "Difficult, yes. But not impossible. All you would have to do is distract his mind with a bigger problem."

With her. It was clear Itachi was shouldering the problems of everything and everyone, refusing to burden anyone else with the issues. Damn it, Danzo had planned it all, hadn't he? By allowing Itachi to rescue her, his rat went unnoticed. The changes in Naruto's appearance and personality, due to the stress of everything else, didn't occur to him.

"You need to get rid of him," ordered Tsunade.

How in the hell was she supposed to do that? She didn't have access to her chakra. Why did her shishou keep ordering her to do stuff, when it was so blatantly obvious she wasn't physically able to do any of it? Without her chakra, without her strength, she was nothing. Even a fake Naruto was more than enough to take her out. Sakura didn't even want to consider how she would stand against Sasuke. He was the kind of guy who was usually a step ahead, although acted as though he was several steps ahead. _However…_

If she managed to move faster than him, she would reach the medical cabinet first. She could get to the scalpels. Once she had a weapon, he would be wary. He would keep his distance unless he was also armed.

"Sakura," he warned her, voice low to the point of silence, forcing her to read his lips. "Don't."

Don't what? Protect Itachi and everyone else from the mole Danzo had planted amongst them? Stop the fake Naruto from sharing information that could get them all killed? Why couldn't any of them see it? The changes were too great. Too obvious. Unless…

Maybe Itachi _did_ know? Maybe, in some twisted way of – no. He wouldn't put hundreds at risk in such a selfish way. Itachi wasn't selfish. The man in her memories was kind and compassionate, he was gentle. Danzo was taking advantage of Itachi's bonds, dangling her in front of him like he was baiting a starved animal. He knew Itachi would cause him a great amount of damage – he was a troubling opponent to face. Using her against him, he blinded her friend to the dangers lurking around the corner. He was distracting him, baiting him, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

* * *

" _We will bring him home," he assured her, hands gentle as they held her, allowing her to weep in his arms without judgement. "But first, we will continue to grow stronger. Then, once Orochimaru and Sasuke reveal themselves, we will strike. Together."_

* * *

He was always being weighed down by something. There was always _something_ he had to take care of. Whether it was his brother's treason, his best friend's disappearance and blinding, or her abduction.

"Danzo knows he can get to them through you," Tsunade murmured. "Itachi, Shisui and even Sasuke. If he has you, he has them."

Danzo was a man who exploited weaknesses. He manipulated and butchered the minds of others. He did whatever was necessary – no matter how unethical – for his personal gain.

Reluctance flashed through Sasuke's eyes, the sight almost enough to make her stop. Almost. Ducking beneath his suddenly outstretched hand, she barely evaded his grasp, sucking in a sharp breath as the signs of chakra depletion made themselves known immediately, trying to stop her battered body from being further pushed to the limits.

Before she could yank the doors to the medical cabinet open, a hand was wrapping around her throat and they moved much too fast for her to keep track of. All she could tell, was that they were no longer in the medical room. They were somewhere smaller, darker. They were alone. Her back was against the wall, breath trapped in her lungs as Sasuke loomed over her, his body pressed against hers and ceasing all movements, refusing to let her so much as twitch. She could feel the hard muscles of his body with every breath he took, his panting giving her a moment to assess his features as he fought hard to calm himself.

It stunned her once she figured out there wasn't much pressure on her throat, his hand tilting her head back more than trying to choke the life out of her.

* * *

 _She couldn't do it._

 _Standing behind the boy she loved, she trembled, the poisoned kunai in her grasp useless as she struggled to gain composure, to complete her personal mission. It was necessary. For the sake of their village and for the sake of saving the once innocent boy she'd watched from across the classroom._

 _But she couldn't do it. She loved him too much. More than she should. More than he deserved._

 _He spun the second he sensed her hesitation, hand closing around her throat and kunai yanked from her hold, eyes wide with betrayal and hatred._

* * *

Why?

Helpless. She was so helpless as she stared up into his dark eyes, vision growing blurred as tears slipped soundlessly down her cheeks. The ache in her heart – it felt familiar. Old, dull, but strong enough to break her should she let it. But… The strangest part, she realised, was that it didn't feel like _her_ pain. It felt like she was in tune with another, experiencing upset because of _their_ heartbreak. It was like there was a part of her – the old Sakura, perhaps – who still loved him unconditionally, who continued to war with herself, who wanted nothing more than to have him come home willingly. Not because they wanted him to, but because _he_ wanted it.

Did she feel anything towards him? Sakura wasn't entirely sure. She couldn't say yes, but she couldn't say no either. He felt familiar. The heartbreak he never failed to deliver felt familiar. Was her old self really that used to being abused by him? Did she really let him walk all over her heart, time and time again, simply because she was too in love with him? More in love than what was good for anyone?

"Stop," he ordered, finally catching his breath. "They'll only give you so many chances."

He said it like he was talking from experience and Sakura felt herself relaxing as his hand slipped away from her throat, fingertips grazing her arm when it fell away. Despite releasing her, he didn't step away, his chest continuing to press against hers with each breath.

"Why?"

Why did she feel so helpless around him? Why wouldn't he let her get rid of the rat? Why was he trying to help her? Why was he helping the fake Naruto?

 _Why did he leave me?_

The question was not her own, though was added to her thoughts like it was. The vulnerability in the words, the feelings they evoked, were something Sakura found she couldn't understand. Was that what love was? Allowing someone to hurt you? Running back to them like a scared child desperate to feel loved?

"We won't speak of this," Sasuke stated, voice cold as he took a step back. "If they find out what happened just now, Itachi will have no choice but to act. For the safety of everyone else." Weakly, she could only nod. "Go to Itachi. If you know what's good for you, don't leave his side."

Walking away from him felt wrong. While she wanted nothing more than to get out there, part of her screamed to go back. Why? She had no idea. What was there to gain from staying by Sasuke's side? Nothing. She would gain nothing. Only suffer more.

Despite the strange aching of her heart, Sakura did not turn back.

* * *

 **A/N - Sorry for the delay in updates - I had no choice but to go back to work and got really sick again. This time, with both hyperemesis and my mental health, since I've been so drained by the sickness. On a brighter note, we're keeping down food again and have been for the past week and a half (probably more than I should be eating, but who cares?), I'm off work again because of the constant back and forth between my panic attacks and hyperemesis (one triggers the other now, apparently) and in a couple of weeks, it's my engagement party. Hopefully, I'll be up for it. Our families have taken charge of it all, so all I really need to do is be well on the night.**

 **With this break from work, I'm hoping to be able to write more, so fingers crossed.**


	20. They Will Stay Here Forever

**Chapter 19 – They Will Stay Here Forever**

He'd yet to receive an answer, but Shisui knew that was only because Sakura had yet to decide on what she wanted. If it was time she needed, then time she would get. He would not force her to make a decision she wasn't ready for, no matter how badly he wished to hold her in his arms once more.

Leaning back against the freezing stone wall, he allowed it to cool his body, head falling back with a quiet thud. His chest was rising and falling, his pants for breath causing his lungs to burn uncomfortably. Across from him, Hatake Kakashi and the Hokage's former guard were no different, all in various stances of exhaustion, barely capable of holding themselves upright after their unforgiving training session.

Like himself, they believed they were growing sloppy from sitting around, doing nothing with themselves all day. They were all men who were used to being under pressure, used to barely catching a break, used to having _orders_. Now, without them, they all felt a little lost. What did one do with himself after decades of serving their village? They'd fought, stolen, seduced and _killed_ all in the name of their beloved Konoha. How were they supposed to take being locked in a hideout, unable to show their faces for fear of endangering everyone else? The men surrounding him, the Copy-Nin especially, were the highest on Danzo's hit list. Not a stone would be unturned. Nowhere was safe for them. For any of them.

"What's the situation with Haruno?" asked Raidō once he'd caught his breath. "Any improvement?"

Kakashi looked to him, like he was expecting Shisui to answer the question, before sitting on the ground with a heavy sigh, knees bent upwards. "I want to say she has more fight in her – a will to live – but I'm still unsure how deep it runs."

"Can't say I blame her," came Genma's gruff response as he placed a new senbon in his mouth. The previous one had been lost during their sparring session and, much to Shisui's annoyance, was much too thin and fast for him to see without the use of his Sharingan. "Kid can't even look me in the eye without getting lost in that head of hers."

Iwashi was the next to speak, his dark eyes narrowed. "Makes you wonder what they did to her. Who they used against her in their manipulation. We've all heard her speaking to herself-"

"We don't need to talk about it, do we?" They weren't stunned by Genma's harsh demand. "All that matters is helping Sakura. Shizune'd kill me if she could see the state she's in right now."

"Only if Tsunade-sama didn't get there first. Not many saw how much she cared for her," Raidō stated, trying to smirk. He clapped a hand to his teammate's shoulder and offered a single nod when Genma looked to him. "For them both."

Like Sakura, the Hokage's guard and Kakashi were still beaten and bruised, though not to the same extent. Their wounds were mainly defensive, some more superficial than others, but all were healing at a much faster rate than Sakura's. No, their deeper wounds were all emotional, Shisui noted as he watched Genma. The man was reserved, with his teammates offering silent apologies for speaking so insensitively. It didn't take a genius to work out that he and Shizune, the Hokage's assistant, had been romantically involved. While he didn't always show his grief, it was clear to them all he was drowning in it. Shisui couldn't begin to imagine what that pain felt like. He didn't want to.

"How're the eyes?"

It took him too long to realise the question was directed towards him, having been too lost in his thoughts to pay any further attention to the conversations surrounding him. Genma was the one who asked the question, more than likely wanting to take the attention away from himself.

"Better than expected," Shisui replied truthfully. He left out the part about the constant headaches and dizzy spells – they were nothing he hadn't experienced before. He'd coped with the strain when he was just eleven years of age, meaning he could sure as hell cope with it now. "But now I am training myself for life without sight. Itachi didn't explain it, but growing blind is inevitable for those with advanced eyes."

That, he could cope with. Going blind for the sake of his village – or, in this case, for the sake of taking back said village – was honourable, in his opinion and well worth the sacrifice. Losing his sight at the hands of Danzo, from _escaping_ his clutches, was not worth it. Neither was losing himself.

"It's still surreal seeing you after all these years," stated Kakashi with a small smirk hidden beneath his mask. "You almost became a myth – people questioned whether you truly existed, or if you were a figment of our imaginations."

Genma joined him in the smirk, the senbon between his teeth shifting to the side. "A horror story for the children. Misbehave and _the_ Uchiha Shisui of the police force will take you away. You'll never be seen again."

Not that Shisui could really blame them for it. His clan had never held back in boasting about his eyes, claiming they were the most powerful since Uchiha Madara's time. It had been so ingrained in their minds that even Itachi had mentioned it so offhandedly during the meeting, having heard the same line repeatedly throughout his childhood. Adding his sudden and unexplainable disappearance, as well as the deaths of his family members, and bang. A bedtime story, a warning, for the children to keep them in place.

"Seriously, though," Raidō interrupted their joking, eyes inquisitive. "You went through a great trauma. How're you holding up?"

"And not just physically," Iwashi added.

Honestly, it felt surreal being with them all. Prior to the whole incident, Shisui was pretty certain that he had never held a real conversation with any of them. The guard… He spoke with them every now and then, though only in passing. They didn't stop and talk about their days or go out for friendly dinners or train together. And it was the same for Hatake Kakashi, too. They had all been busy people who put their professions above all else.

" _Come, Sakura."_

They each glanced in the direction of the archway, silent as they watched Sakura trailing behind Itachi, features determined but scared. Considering the direction they were headed in as well as the time, Shisui knew that they were heading outdoors, no doubt attempting to bathe.

According to his friend, the progress was slow. But slow progress was still progress, he'd added seconds later. At first, she couldn't even dip her fingertips into the lake. A few days ago, she allowed Itachi to wash her hands and arms, though it wasn't properly, as she was still caked in dried blood. That changed yesterday, however, when she allowed him to repeat their routine, soon growing brave enough to truly scrub at her skin. But she'd grown frantic at the sight of it coming away, desperate for the rest of it to be washed away too and because of that desperation, she'd worked herself up, unable to go any further.

" _I want to try again,"_ she murmured, almost so quietly that they couldn't hear her at all. " _Putting my feet in the water."_

Shisui noted he wasn't the only one warmed by her determination. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw both Kakashi and Genma's features lighten, even though it was by the smallest amount.

"Regardless of what everyone else thinks, Danzo had better prepare himself for her," stated Kakashi and with a grunt of exertion, he stood. Unlike others, he didn't dust himself off, uncaring of the dirt covering his already tattered pants. "The rest of us won't get a look in."

Continuing to watch the space he'd briefly seen her in, Shisui allowed a small smile, repeating his friend's words to himself.

 _Slow progress is still progress._

* * *

"Enough with the suspense, Itachi," he couldn't help but snap.

Too worn out from the gruelling task that bathing had become, Sakura returned to her bed the second it was over, already asleep before her head had even hit the pillow. Shisui wasn't sure how long it had been since he last witnessed her sleeping so soundly – well, he assumed it was soundly. She didn't fight sleep for once, anyway. Whatever happened, it well and truly exhausted her.

He and Itachi sat to the far right of the main hall while they ate their meals, allowing themselves just a fraction of privacy to discuss the events that had transpired. The food was adequate and rarely filled him, but that could only be expected considering the sheer number living at the hideout. They had to ration their supplies meaning more often than not, many came away from meals still hungry. It couldn't be helped, though as he ate a spoonful of the unflavoured slop that was porridge, a small voice in the back of Shisui's mind wondered when the next supply run would be. They wouldn't be able to train or fight or recover fully without taking in proper nutrients.

"How do you think it went?" asked his friend, a faint smile pulling at his lips.

"Well, considering how chipper you are." Gods, it was rare for him to feel so impatient, but damn it… "Did she manage to complete her goal?"

There was no mistaking the pride in his eyes. "That and more."

The weight that lifted from his shoulders was indescribable and Shisui found himself returning the smile. So much for slow progress, he thought proudly. Although it clearly exhausted her, he couldn't help but admire the determination and strength it would have taken to push herself so far.

"Not only did she dip her feet in the water – she washed her upper arms and shoulders, too."

They – no, Sakura was getting there. She was proving to them that she was still capable of fighting. Proving that they shouldn't have doubted her ability to bounce back in the first place. Inspired by her internal strength, Shisui finished his tasteless slop quickly, determined on returning to his training. No matter how hard he had to push himself to get there, he _was_ going to stand by hers and Itachi's sides when they returned to Konoha. He would be there the day justice was served.

"Before you leave," Itachi began, pausing in his eating. He looked to him inquisitively, silently asking him to continue and with only a brief moment of consideration, he stated, "The others believe Sakura is too great a liability to test at this moment in time. However, we are all in agreement that it is time for you to stretch your legs and join us on a supply run."

Damn, that kid never stopped, did he? And Shisui didn't mean it in terms of being a workaholic. He meant the suspense. The surprises. Itachi was full of them, wasn't he? "When?"

The thought of leaving the hideout, if only for a few hours, was almost too much to handle. It was like a dream he hadn't known about, one that was suddenly within reach, poking at the hidden giddiness he'd been experiencing only moments ago. Leaving the safety of the hideout was exactly what he needed in order to push himself further, to test his abilities, to see the results of his training. It also proved that others were seeing his hard work and determination.

"Tomorrow, noon – if you are up to the challenge, of course."

Up to the challenge? He was raring to go. It'd been many years since he'd last been excited at the mere thought of a mission – he hadn't felt such a way since he was six years old. After that, they became predictable and dull. Genin missions were too easy for him. After a month or two of being promoted, so were chūnin missions. But this… It felt like his first ever mission all over again.

"What does it entail?" he questioned and placed the empty bowl down between them.

"You will be accompanying myself and several others on a supply run," explained Itachi quietly and he returned to his meal, eating calmly. The only time his composure slipped was when a child waved to him cheerily, asking if he would like more food. Politely, he shook his head, ordering the young girl to finish her meal. The sight, the easiness of the interaction, warmed Shisui's heart. Had they been back in Konoha, it wouldn't have been the same. The child would have been shooed away by her parents, warned in hushed tones to stay away from their clan. At the hideout, they could see the Uchiha Clan wasn't as bad as the rumours made them appear. It was a shame there were only three members of their clan left to witness the change. "We split in small groups, with the exception being myself. Until this point, I have worked alone. However, as of tomorrow, you will be my partner."

"Working together," Shisui reminisced. They had always made for a great team, playing to each other's strengths and making up for the other's weaknesses. There was no one Shisui would want to return to duty with more. "It's been a while."

"It has."

* * *

When he found her, she was back in the medical wing, green eyes focused intently on the sight of the Hyuuga girl caring for the young boy. No chakra was being used, as it was too risky given her injuries, but the basic knowledge she showed in her care seemed to be enough for Sakura in that moment in time. It was good to see her focused. A motivator, perhaps.

"Sakura."

She didn't look away from the pair, muttering, "What?"

It seemed she was in a bad mood, too. Seeing the tension in her muscles, the scowl threatening to mar the smoothness of her features, told him that. No doubt the bad mood had stemmed from the bathing, which would have stressed her out greatly.

"May I speak with you for a moment?" he asked, undeterred. "Privately."

There was a debate going on in her mind, one that was settled when she finally, reluctantly, met his eye and nodded, sighing. Shisui paid her reluctance no mind, understanding it wasn't anything personal. Only once she managed to stand from the bed did he turn to leave, pausing by the door to make sure she was following him. Certain that she was, he guided her in the direction of somewhere more private, although they were still out in the opening. Those in the main hall would be able to see them, should they look up.

Sakura was the one who decided they had gone far enough, coming to a standstill in the hall. Arms hanging by her sides, feet spread slightly and eyebrows furrowing, her stance could almost be described as defensive.

"What?"

Saying the coldness didn't affect him was a lie. "Have you thought about it?"

Her gaze dropped to the ground, no longer able to meet his eye. "About sharing?"

"Yeah."

The lack of answer had Shisui giving a small smile, fighting back the urge to reach out to her, to activate his Sharingan to see every line of detail on her face. What other expressions could she make? He'd seen angry and scared – he wanted something _positive_. Something that would make their darkest days seem worth it. Her smile… how beautiful was it? Did it light up her entire face? Would it affect him in the same way her frowns did? Would it make him want to smile, too?

"I will stand by you regardless," he assured her. It'd been years since he'd felt childish butterflies, but the second her eyes met his and widened, there was no denying that they were there. He, a grown man who'd seen hell and had created hell for others, had _butterflies_. All because a pretty girl looked to him with just the faintest glimmers of hope. Holding back his smile was difficult. "Just try not to keep me in the dark too long."

Was that a smile? Even if it was only a ghost of a smile, he was still classing it as one. "Itachi told me you're going on a run with him."

"I am."

She hesitated for a moment, frowning slightly. "Part of me feels happy about that. Happy for you."

She was in there. Danzo could try and lock her away all he liked, but it wouldn't work. The old Sakura was in there and she was fighting hard to come back to them. Shisui smiled. "Soon enough, you will join him, too."

"You think?"

"Of course." As much as Shisui wished he could stand around and talk with her, to continue seeing more traces of the woman he'd fallen for, he could sense the others preparing to leave for the supply run. Damn it. "I'll see you soon."

A nod. A small, uncertain nod that had him faltering in reaching out, wanting to smooth the frown lines away. Instead, he sighed, hand returning to his side. It would get easier – it had to. For Sakura's sake more than anyone's. More than anything, he wanted her to be able to go at least one hour without having to question everything that ran through her mind, or having to question something she had seen or heard.

Just as he turned to leave, trembling fingers caught his sleeve and as ridiculous as it felt to admit it, Shisui felt his heart stutter. She swallowed, head bowing a fraction.

"Be safe."

* * *

 _Be safe._

 _You have to live._

"Are you sure?"

He nodded once, eyes fixated on the thriving town they were assessing. It had been so long since he last witnessed so much life in one place, so much normality. Seeing it for himself, with the aid of his Sharingan, reminded Shisui of the village they'd once called home, reminded him why it was imperative they continued to grow in strength and numbers: to help restore Konoha back to its former glory.

"Very well," Itachi agreed with ease, though it didn't surprise him. "I trust you know your own limits."

Better than anyone. "The sooner I reacquaint myself with my jutsu, the better."

"Do you believe you will have to relearn them?"

Finally, he looked away from the town, only to find his friend already watching him closely, taking in the detail of his Mangekyō. It was incredibly risky having it activated, let alone using it, but it was a risk they had to take at some point. Was it too soon? Perhaps. However, they would get nowhere if they continued to hold themselves back. They had to push where necessary. Had to push even when it felt impossible. Sakura had shown him that. She was proving to them all that it was possible to overcome the worst.

"We will find out."

The others had already scattered into several groups, all of varying numbers, infiltrating the town from different directions at separate times, not wanting to gain too much attention by approaching simultaneously. Anything that was considered to be even the slightest bit suspicious was avoided, each group going that extra mile to ensure they successfully completed their mission.

Due to it not being the first time they'd hit the town, Itachi had decided that they should be the ones who went after the medical supplies, for they would have increased security surrounding the hospital. It would be good practice, Shisui had agreed without hesitation. It gave him the perfect opportunity to test how out of practice he was in terms of his dōjutsu.

"Let's go."

* * *

 **A/N - Just a quick update to let you all know I haven't forgotten this story! I know it's been forever since I last updated and I'm sorry for that. The good news is that I'm doing so much better than the last time I updated. I hardly throw up anymore and don't feel nauseated all day every day. I still get sick from time to time, but it's much more manageable and I no longer need tablets to keep food and water down. However, I'm also just over 5 weeks away from my due date with killer BH, meaning updates are going to continue being slow for quite a while. Sorry!**

 **ALSO, I was sat in a cafe today with my SO and there was a group of girls at the table next to us, no older than 13-14 years old. At first they were talking about vampire kinks and I perked up a little when they started talking about The Vampire Diaries, but then they started talking about Naruto and how there's all this amazing fan art on Tumblr AND THEN one of the girls brought up my username and Saviour and I was just like OMG. And I was dying to get involved in all the girl's theories, simply because I've never met a reader in person before. Granted, I didn't actually meet her and was sat near her eavesdropping, but still. It's so crazy. I've never paid much attention to the stats page before but the UK is in the top three major audience thing. I never thought I'd meet a reader.**

 **So, to the girl who couldn't even keep her voice level while talking about my story: thank you so much! You probably won't see this as you were only talking about ItaSaku, but if you do: I was the heavily pregnant woman in the green knit dress and you gave me the motivation to finish this chapter despite the writer's block. Thank you so much!**


	21. Our Blood Is Cold

**Chapter 20 – Our Blood Is Cold**

With Itachi gone, she was able to convince Kakashi into allowing her time outside – supervised, of course, but that didn't bother her too much. Outside, she wasn't surrounded by a miserable, overbearing atmosphere. She didn't have to find ways to cope with accusatory stares or people muttering under their breaths about how she wasn't much use to their cause.

Did their words bother her? If she was being honest: no. She couldn't care less. And that irked her, for some strange reason. Like her heart, or a part of her that had been locked away, wept at the mere thought of being ostracised or disliked, that pain only increasing by her own indifference towards it all. But why would she let it affect her? What would it achieve by allowing it to weigh her down? They didn't like the new her – big deal. That was their problem to deal with.

Standing before the lake, Sakura shut her eyes, breathing in deeply. The air was crisp, filling her lungs uncomfortably, burning them and making her throat itch. She could sense Kakashi and Sasuke in the background, hovering, whereas Itachi wouldn't have made such an obvious effort to try and make his presence less known. Would they attempt conversation at any point?

She sat after a few moments, taking the time to roll her pants up to her knees. Just because Itachi was away, it didn't mean she couldn't continue making progress. If she stopped even for one day, there was no telling how it would affect her. What if she couldn't bring herself to continue? What if taking a break made the inescapable panic return? How long would it take her to get back to where she currently was?

For a while, Sakura remained motionless as she watched the ripples in the water, continuing to breathe slowly, deeply. The usual panic she suffered from withdrew the longer her meditation went on for, allowing her to eventually unfold her legs, feet growing closer to the edge. Calmness of the mind was key, Itachi had told her. It was the key to gaining the upper hand in battle, to remaining level headed. It was how he made difficult decisions, how he went through with them and how he coped afterwards. It was why and how he'd walked away the victor of many battles.

It was with a hard swallow that her feet dipped into the cold water. Momentarily, the panic spiked, her hands clenching into fists in the moist grass until Sakura forced herself to calm down. It took a few moments longer to calm her racing heart, but once it had slowed, she moved further, the water soon reaching her shins. Her fingers released their death grip on the grass and her eyes opened, taking in the sight of her feet underwater. The sight was unnerving, her mind threatening to become overwhelmed by the memories of her torture, but once more, Sakura resumed her meditation.

 _Calmness of the mind was key._

Raising her left foot, she wriggled her toes, watching the droplets of water that returned to the lake, creating ripples. So enraptured, she almost missed the presence of another approaching. _Almost._

"Why?"

Green eyes drifted to the figure beside her, unsurprised to find he wasn't looking her in the eye but instead watching her foot. He seemed to be in deep concentration, watching as her foot flexed and arched.

"What?" she questioned.

Something in her voice forced him to look at her face, his dark eyes trying to read her expression. "The water. Why can't you stand it?"

Had Sasuke always been so forward? Nobody – not even Itachi – had been so direct about her torture. They hinted at it, indirectly asking what had happened to her. However, Sasuke was the first to outright ask her about it, not bothering to hide his curiosity. She wasn't sure how to handle the question. If it weren't for her determination to beat yesterday's time in the water, she would have removed her feet as a sickening chill swept through her body, like the cold water was suddenly replacing her blood.

"Danzo is a big fan of bringing his prisoners to the brink of death, only to snatch them back as soon as they catch so much as a glimpse of escape."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Bitterness had her snorting. "Most people would read between the lines." When only silence met her, Sakura once more met his eye, saying carelessly, "At one point during my torture – hell, probably more than once – I had to be resuscitated. On a particularly bad day, Danzo decided he didn't want me removed from the water before I was shocked into breathing again." Pausing, she took in his odd expression before looking away, adding, "Or maybe I was holding my breath too well, managing to hold it for a bit longer each time my head was held underwater?"

"They electrocuted you."

Why did it sound so horrific? Like he couldn't – or didn't want to – picture it happening to her? Hadn't he tried to kill her with his lightning element before? "Water is a great conductor for electricity." Again, she snorted at his silence, demanding, "Do you think I like smelling like this?"

"Well, I wasn't going to mention the smell," stated Kakashi cheerfully from behind them. "But now that you mention it…"

Her lack of response to his obvious baiting had him sighing, leading Sakura to believe that, previously, she would have responded to his teasing. She wondered how those conversations went down. Did she respond with equal amounts of teasing? Did she get riled up? Was there some kind of connection between her and Kakashi like there seemed to be with the other sharingan users? Was she just as obsessed with those deadly eyes as Danzo was? No, that couldn't be right, because she was branded as the Uchiha Clan's whore, not Konoha's. Unless Danzo classed Kakashi as an Uchiha due to possessing the sharingan? No, she doubted it, since Danzo himself had the sharingan and he clearly had some unresolved issues with the clan that even the most experienced psychiatrist couldn't begin to understand or dissect.

Dark eyes returned to hers, assessing her, like Sasuke was trying to see into her mind and witness the torture for himself. "Do you think that's partly why you're confused?"

"Maybe."

"It probably goes deeper than that," Kakashi argued calmly and sat beside her. He was silent for a few moments during her questioning staring, watching her dangling legs before he copied her, unknowingly allowing Sakura to take an easy deep breath. Obviously, Kakashi wouldn't have put himself at risk. There was nothing in the water with her. "Danzo used the sharingan on you, didn't he?" Slowly, hesitantly, she nodded. "Not just any ordinary sharingan, but the Mangekyō – the patriarch's, no less."

There was a pause in Sasuke's response as he sat on her other side, staring out at the lake. "And my father's abilities were kept secret. Only a select few know-" He cut himself off, then continued bitterly, saying, " _Knew_ of his techniques."

"Itachi-san said no two sharingan are the same, but what if Fugaku-san had similar techniques to Shisui-san?"

"It's possible. Even though it's not as extreme, Itachi's abilities are powerful enough to destroy minds too," Sasuke agreed quietly and his brows came together. "He's told me about Tsukuyomi. It's left many of his enemies brain dead."

Why did that name sound so familiar? Frowning, Sakura looked between the two men, wondering just when the hell they were going to include her in their brainstorming session. It _was_ about her, after all. Or had they forgotten about her entirely?

"Perhaps with your seal, Sakura-"

"Seal?" she couldn't help but interrupt, frown deepening. "Like Tsunade-sama's?"

He briefly looked away, anger flitting over his expression, but then Kakashi met her gaze again, face once more neutral. "It was one of your greatest achievements. The day you activated your seal was the brightest you'd smiled in years. You were extremely proud of yourself – your hard work paid off."

Was that why he looked so pissed off? Was it because it had been stripped away from her? "Then where is it?" came her annoyed question. "Tsunade-sama's was always activated-"

"Unless she was seriously drained of chakra," argued Kakashi.

"Give me my chakra back, then."

Beside her, she felt Sasuke shift, felt his eyes searching her expression again. Then, he surprised her by saying, "Perhaps we should."

"Sasuke-"

"Don't use that tone with me," he warned darkly and the sudden drop in temperature had nothing to do with the fact it was almost winter. "You're not my sensei and I'm no child."

"Then don't fill her head with false hopes."

"Why shouldn't we?" he demanded. "How is she supposed to get anywhere in terms of strength or remembering how to be a medic-nin if you're all draining her of her chakra? She can't perform any of her techniques without it."

It was obvious to them both that Kakashi was quickly losing his patience with the wayward Uchiha, his gaze dark and narrowed as he muttered lowly, "Stop manipulating the situation by making us out to be the bad guys, Sasuke. You know why we can't allow Sakura access to her chakra-"

"Because I'm too much of a liability, right?"

"Yes," replied Kakashi simply, shrugging. "I'm sorry, Sakura, but it's too risky. I want nothing more than to help you, but we have to take every life in the hideout into account. Even without chakra, you're a threat to many here. With chakra, you're a threat to everyone. Itachi-san is gambling with his life by going against your strength."

"I would never hurt-" The fierceness of her own words stunned Sakura into silence, her lips thinning when Sasuke's head snapped in her direction, no doubt surprised, too. Since when did she display such great concern over Itachi? She knew they were all thinking it. "The only difference between being here and in Konoha is the torture," she snarled and yanked her feet out of the water, standing and turning her back on the men. "Other than that, nothing's changed. I'm still a prisoner here."

"Sakura-"

"Leave me alone."

* * *

No, she hadn't been insane before. She was now, though. She had to be, because it'd been however long since Itachi and Shisui left and she found that, while sitting on her futon, she'd never felt more alone despite the fact her room was far from empty. Both Naruto and Hinata were fussing over the ill child, trying and failing to make themselves useful. It was difficult to watch, really. If the child hadn't been in and out of consciousness, surely he would have expressed annoyance at their endless fussing. Nobody in their right mind would put up with it for long.

At their incessant chatter, Sakura stood and left the room, growling under her breath. The problem wasn't Hinata, even if it seemed that way. No, she would go through hell and back for her – already had and would willingly do so again. The fake Naruto was the problem. Part of her _was_ annoyed with Hinata, because for someone who'd admired him for so long, who'd always watched him from afar, she easily missed major flaws in his new self. She missed huge warning flags. Anything that should have warned her about him being a fake, she somehow couldn't see and it was driving Sakura insane. How could she not see that the man she loved _wasn't_ the man she loved? Was Hinata delusional? Was she so overwhelmed by the sudden attention that she couldn't see it?

"Are you stalking me now?"

He pushed away from the wall at her words, approaching without hesitation. "This goes deeper than that idiot pissing you off."

No, really? What gave him that idea? "It's a lot more than him pissing me off like when we were kids, that's why."

"Why?"

Gods, she was going to tear her matted hair out. At least that would solve the problem of trying to sort through it all. It was without pause that Sakura brushed past him, walking towards one of many entrances to the hideout. She only ever approached said opening when in the presence of another, always staying well back from the edge.

Holding onto the protruding rock, she looked out at the vast forest, gaze drawn to the image of the trees rustling in the wind as it picked up, reminding her of the ripples in the lake as it travelled. Leaves danced in the sky, flying higher and higher until the wind died down, leaving them to drift to the ground once more. Due to how high up they were, it was much colder, goosebumps breaking out over her exposed skin and she shivered, though didn't dislike the feeling.

"That's not Naruto."

There was a snort of dry amusement. "There's nothing I want more than to agree with you."

"You _want_ a fake Naruto?" she demanded in disbelief, glaring at him. "Why the hell would you want that?"

"Because maybe the fake would mess up his personality and I'd finally be left alone," he replied simply. Glancing at her from the corner of his eye, he added, "You're both as persistent as each other."

Hand lashing out behind her, she snarled, "And you think this version of him is persistent? He doesn't even look like-"

"Say what you want, but even in that pitiful state, Naruto was willing to lead the way back to Konoha to rescue you once he found out you were alive. Until that point, he refused to give up hope. He knew you were alive and fought anyone who said otherwise."

The words silenced her, but only long enough to send him another glare before walking forward, her hold on the rocks as secure as she could manage. "And now?"

"Nobody knows how to act around you," he stated and followed her example of staring out at the forest. "And if you're not glued to Itachi's side, then you're talking to yourself or lost in your own head."

Was that true? Was she really isolating herself? Did it matter? Something nagged at her, in the back of her mind, that yes it mattered. It mattered a lot. The voice cried out at her thoughts, disagreeing with them wholeheartedly, begging of her to make a difference. They needed the comfort of others, they needed the security and support of camaraderie.

 _Don't do this,_ the voice begged. _Don't shut out their love._

Sakura wanted to laugh in return. Did that foolish voice truly believe Sasuke loved her? After he'd abandoned her? Attacked her? Broke her heart? Those were not the actions of someone who was in love. They were the actions of a man – of a _boy_ – who wanted to be left alone, who was tired of those around him and the bonds they continuously tried to forge. He didn't care about them. They could die at his feet and he wouldn't think twice about it.

Despite her dark thoughts, Sakura glanced at him from the corner of her eye, frowning when she found he was already looking at her.

 _He isn't a bad person,_ that voice returned, telling her. _There's a reason why we fell in love with him. There's a reason why we still love him._

We? Who in the hell–

 _Still_ love him? She–

Frustration had her grip on the rock increasing in strength, had her sucking in a sharp breath. How was she supposed to know her feelings for someone else when she couldn't even figure out what emotion she was experiencing? It was ridiculous.

 _Don't._

She was seriously growing tired of that whiny voice in the back of her mind.

 _Don't ignore our feelings or our love for them._

How did she make it shut the hell up?

 _It's what makes us stronger. Loving them. Fighting for them. Healing them. Protecting them. We got to where we were in terms of strength because of them. Because of our love._

Instead of making it shut up, the voice only grew louder and more demanding, all but yelling at her to take notice. Sakura's hands shot up, grabbing at her hair and scalp like she could claw it out, eyes squeezing shut so that she couldn't see Sasuke's expression when he spun to look at her.

 _Stop shutting them out!_

"Don't tell me what to do," she snarled in response and her scalp ached in protest to the death grip she had on her matted hair.

 _Face your feelings for them, damn it._

"Shut it out, Sakura," came her shishou's warning. How long had she been lingering for? Sakura would have questioned the older woman, but her mind was spinning, head beginning to throb. "It's Danzo's influence on you. Remember what he's trying to do with them. He wants them at each other's throats."

That was right. She couldn't let them in. Couldn't accept any sort of feelings. It was too risky for them _and_ her.

 _No!_

"Sakura!"

Her forehead burned when it slammed into the rock, no doubt grazed and her fingers suddenly dug into the cold stone, her breathing heavy and unsteady, threatening to make her dizzy. Hands grabbed at her shoulders, attempting to pull her away, but it only worked in causing her to headbutt the rock once more when she struggled against Sasuke's strength.

"Stop resisting," he ordered.

 _Look at him!_

"Don't," warned Tsunade, voice raising. "He might have his sharingan activated."

What was she supposed to do? Tears of frustration filled her eyes and she once more squeezed them shut, willing herself to stay strong. Who was she supposed to follow? Usually, it would be Tsunade, but that voice was manipulating her feelings – it had to be, because that weight in her heart couldn't possibly belong to her, could it? An impossible ache in response to the feeling of Sasuke's hands on her?

Desperation was clawing at her insides, confusing the hell out of her as Sakura's breathing turned shaky and shallow, causing her head to spin. Fortunately for her, she had great support from the spiky rock protruding from the ground.

"Ignore it, Sakura," Tsunade snapped at her.

She was trying! She–

The fear was overwhelming as her body moved against her will, straightening her from her slumped position against the rock, forcing her to stand to her full height. It was a struggle, however. A battle of wills, in a way. She fought against the foreign feeling of her body moving of its own accord, fingers curling into the rock, leaving indents. Her fear was so great that she didn't even feel the pain of her wounds reopening.

More hands grabbed at her and she felt Tsunade's overbearing presence to her left, forcing her to remain still. "Don't let him take control!"

"Stop," she begged, body beginning to tremble from the different pressures working against it. "Stop it, please."

"Sakura."

How she managed to hear him over Tsunade's sudden yelling, she'd never know, but Sakura wished she couldn't as the voice in her mind seemingly lunged, taking her breath away because she _knew_ for a fact that it wasn't just a voice. Whatever it was – whoever it was – was taking control.

" _Shannaro!"_

Arms wrapped around her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides and she felt Sasuke's shaky breath in her ear, the side of his face pressed firmly to hers.

"Stop, Sakura," he ordered quietly, his voice a murmur, evoking a memory she knew her past self once clung to. "Stop."

* * *

 _No. That wasn't Sasuke. It couldn't…_

 _But it was. And the boy she loved was turning into a monster. He was going to kill them all, wasn't he?_

" _S-Sasuke-kun," she whispered, body shaking as she forced herself to stand._

 _But he couldn't hear her. He couldn't even see her, could he? Tears filled her swollen eyes and before she knew it, Sakura was rushing forward, crying out Sasuke's name. Her arms wrapped around him from behind, eyes wide when he glared over his shoulder at her with a dark rage._

" _Please, stop."_

* * *

"They'll use this against you," he warned her in an almost whisper and she swallowed at the feeling of his lips so close to her skin. "You'll never have access to your chakra again."

Was that voice still in control of her body? Was it the voice that had her reaching up with trembling hands, clutching at the arms that were securely around her, like she was begging Sasuke to never let go? It had to be, didn't it?

Didn't it?

* * *

 **A/N - Finally, now that I actually have something to update with, I get to tell you all about the safe arrival of my son. He was born on the 18th of December, at 1:34am, weighing 7lbs 2oz and he's absolutely perfect. We're both healthy and finding ourselves and I honestly don't think I've ever felt so much love for one person before. He's beautiful!**

 **I promise I'll update when possible, but said updates _will_ be slower than usual. I write bits at a time now, barely even 500 words per writing session.**


	22. And We're Alone, Love

**Chapter 21 – And We're Alone, Love**

"Shisui!"

"Don't fuss," he muttered, squinting as his grip on the tree tightened.

It felt as though the world was too bright, making it damn near impossible to see even a couple of feet in front of himself. Everything was much too loud, but at the same time, nearly drowned out entirely by an intense ringing that threatened to bring him to his knees.

Apparently using his Mangekyō was out of the question. Chest shaking with the weight of the sudden pain, Shisui leaned more heavily against the tree trunk, eyes finally losing their battle and shutting to block out the light. If he was in such a state from merely activating his Mangekyō and placing genjutsu down on their targeted building, he sincerely feared the results of using Kotoamatsukami. In his weakened state, in that moment, he believed it would probably kill him or cause some kind of brain damage.

"What happened?" questioned Itachi. Shisui could feel him hovering, though at the same time, he was fully alert, surveying the area and blanketing them in his own powerful genjutsu. Should they be happened across, they would remain undetected. "Did you cast the genjutsu?"

Even an Uchiha was unable to detect his genjutsu, Shisui had to remind himself. His back hit the trunk before he slid down, sitting on the branch with a quivering sigh. The pain wasn't easing off like it had previously – no, scratch that. The pain he was experiencing was by far the worst it had ever been before. Previously, all he'd suffered with were dizzy spells and headaches. At that moment in time, he believed he was experiencing a migraine and if not, then it was something along those lines. It was certainly more than the average headache.

"Perhaps you should have rested more," he murmured.

No. Continuing to sit around and do nothing was definitely not what he needed. What Shisui needed was to push himself and continue his training. He needed to grow stronger. Overcoming his weaknesses, moving past his current obstacles, was the only way to do that. Shying away from the pain wasn't an option – it was cowardly.

"Where would that get me?" demanded Shisui in response before wincing once more. The sound of his own voice reverberated throughout his head, seemingly bouncing around, growing louder each passing second. "I cannot be the only one who remains stagnant in terms of progress."

"You also cannot risk your health," came Itachi's simple reply. There was a pause before he spoke again, telling Shisui that he was probably assessing his body language to gauge his reaction. "You are too important-"

"I am more than my eyes."

"Don't interrupt me," he stated. "You are too important to too many people for you to harm yourself – irreparably or fatally."

Sakura's face flashed to the front of his mind. That beautiful, tortured expression replaced by the wonderful smile that had caused her eyes to crease, the results of their healing session rekindling their hope. Itachi was right, Shisui told himself. If not for himself, then he had to pace himself for her. To undo all of her hard work, or to leave her alone in a world that had already screwed her over so horrifically, was not an option. For her, he would take better care of himself. He would not push himself beyond his capabilities.

"Here." A hand came to his face, his palm coming to rest on his forehead. "Sakura taught me a basic healing jutsu to numb my own headaches. This should help for a short while."

And it did. Kind of. No, it didn't erase the pain entirely, but it was bearable. He could complete their mission with a headache – it was nothing. He stood with ease, taking a few moments to open his eyes to the world once more. The sun continued to shine down on him harshly and every sound seemed louder than usual, but he would manage. He would persevere.

"To be a shinobi is to endure," he muttered the words his father had told him as a child. "Let's go."

* * *

The hospital was intense, Shisui realised. Security-wise, anyway.

"They must be onto us," Itachi stated under his breath.

Oh well, he thought to himself. At best they were chūnin level – rogue-nin, too, he gathered, considering there were no forehead protectors on display. Nothing they couldn't handle, not with their teamwork. Their only issue would be keeping a low profile, as their techniques were hardly unrecognisable. It would bring Danzo closer to discovering their hideout. It would bring him closer to Sakura.

Even if it cost him his life, he would stop at nothing to protect her from him.

"You can't continuously steal from their village and not expect anyone to notice."

They remained unnoticed in their disguises, having decided to sit around the waiting room until they found an opportunity to go further into the hospital. As he'd noticed moments before: security was tight. Walking around the hospital when they didn't know the layout was bound to attract attention, even if they were disguised as mother and child.

Pouting childishly, Shisui glared at the waiting room, discreetly taking in his surroundings. He was under the guise of a young boy with a sprained ankle, having spotted 'cool' shinobi climbing up the side of buildings and wishing to do the same. His friend was far better at pretending to be a woman – no, scratch that. He was good at pretending to be a parent. Scolding when necessary, nurturing when required to be. Overall worried for the well being of her overactive child.

When they entered the hospital, it quickly became apparent they would need a pass to leave the waiting area. That meant they had to wait for the medical personnel to grant them entry to restricted areas of the hospital, hence their disguise. According to Itachi, security hadn't been a fraction of what it currently was, but Shisui countered that by reminding him of their recurrent theft. Of course they would begin to notice. Several questionable members of staff in all the businesses struck by them were probably under investigation.

The original plan was to infiltrate the hospital using his Sharingan, using genjutsu to alter the memories of those who happened across them. Given the circumstances, however, that obviously was no longer an option – well, using _his_ Sharingan was no longer an option, anyway. It seemed he had his good and bad days regarding his most feared weapon. Some days, he would barely feel any strain. Some days, he would suffer immensely, though nowhere near as extreme as he had earlier. Perhaps he could test it later, but in that moment, no.

It had him questioning the lingering effects of whatever jutsu was used on him to transport him eight years into the future. The jutsu was great enough to almost liquefy his eyes, according to Sakura, but then again, time travelling was bound to come at a cost.

His memories surrounding that particular event grew hazier by the day and Shisui found it difficult recollecting what happened. There'd been a voice, he was sure, but whose voice was it? What had the person said to him? It frustrated him to no end that he could no longer remember. Simultaneously, however, he believed he had much bigger problems to stress about.

"Yamamoto Arashi-san?"

His five year old body leaned heavily on Itachi for support when they stood, his supposedly sprained ankle causing a limp and constant whining as he struggled on. Acting was one of the many skills a shinobi must possess in order to successfully complete the majority of infiltration missions – hell, any mission, really.

There was a demure sway to Itachi's hips as they followed the doctor, Shisui noted with little surprise. Anything bigger would have been too noticeable. His appearance as a whole was reserved, if not a little shy. It was the appearance of a wife and respected member of the community. It was the appearance, dare he say, of his mother. Long, dark hair was sleeked back into a neat bun, not a hair out of place and his qipao was creaseless and clean, loose enough to conceal the curves Itachi had given himself in his woman form, but not too loose that it looked ill fitting. There was no denying that he'd taken his mother's appearance into consideration when designing his disguise, believing her to be the best example of a traditional, forgettable woman.

The doctor was more approachable once they were in the examination room, aiding Shisui in climbing onto the bed and smiling encouragingly when he pretended to fight back the tears.

"May I call you Arashi-kun?" the doctor asked, her gentle eyes bright with empathy when he nodded pitifully. "Well, then, Arashi-kun. My name is Airi-sensei and I promise I'll take good care of you. Yamamoto-san, are you comfortable in that chair – I know they're not of the best quality."

Itachi's feminine smile was equally gentle. "I'm fine, Airi-sensei. Thank you."

Sitting in the stool situated on the left side of the bed, Airi placed her clipboard down, only a few inches from Shisui's feet before pulling herself forward on the wheels, using the edge of the bed to make it easier. Pretending to be interested in the wheelie chair, he looked on with wide, childish eyes, grinning up at her once she reached him.

"May I?" she asked, indicating towards his weak foot.

It was hanging limply on the bed, looking as pathetic as he felt when he winced at her cold hands touching his skin. There was a murmured apology, but it was obvious Airi was focusing entirely on her task at hand, careful as she attempted to move his foot during her examination.

"Well, Arashi-kun," she began with a sigh and sat back. "There's no break, but you have definitely sprained your ankle. What caused this?"

His fake mother sighed in exasperation, those dark eyes shutting. "Yes, Arashi-kun. Tell the good doctor what happened."

Pretending to be embarrassed, he looked away, cheeks warming. "I wanted to be like the shinobi," he mumbled with obvious embarrassment. "I saw them running on the side of next door's house-"

"Arashi-kun," gasped Airi in horrified shock. "You mustn't copy the things shinobi do! They've been training their whole lives – you can't just copy them."

Very wise advice. However, that would never work on a child. "I was practising my skills," he argued, scowling.

"Yes, but you need chakra to-"

"I don't care!"

"Arashi," Itachi scolded. Turning to the doctor, he lowered his head apologetically. "Airi-sensei, do you mind giving us a moment, please?"

They were moving the second the doctor left them alone, dashing to the medical supply cupboards and filling the summoning scroll they'd brought. Itachi was murmuring something to him, possibly the directions for the corridor with all of the supplies on, but Shisui couldn't hear him over the thundering of his heart. Adrenaline was a wonderful double edged sword, one he was welcoming wholeheartedly. Being back on his feet, putting his skills to good use, was addicting, he realised.

Crouching low, he unhooked the wires, ignoring Itachi's widening eyes but still muttering, "Hyuuga needs specialist equipment, does she not?"

"Yes, but-"

"But nothing," he argued without looking back at him. Finally untangling the mess of wires behind the bed, he wheeled the monitors and drip stands over towards Itachi, adding, "If we want to give that boy a fighting chance, we have to do our best for him."

Resolve hardened his feminine features and Itachi nodded once, deciding in that moment that Shisui was right. Turning, he scanned the shelves and cupboards, grabbing what he could. Soon enough, however, they'd taken all they could from the room, leaving it close to empty. They felt bad, truly they did, but Shisui didn't allow it to take hold of his heart as he instead made a single hand sign, encasing the room in genjutsu. In the genjutsu, nothing had changed. Not a single item was out of place. It wouldn't hold for long – anyone who tried to use the equipment would dispel it instantly. Hopefully they wouldn't be there for that long, though.

There was a low tap on the door, one that was followed by the door sliding open, revealing the doctor. By the time she entered, they were back in their previous positions. He put on a pout of upset and annoyance, turning his back on his fake mother, who looked on with the stern expression of a parent firmly standing their ground.

"Forgive me for interrupting," Airi began. "I-"

Upon taking a seat on the stool, the genjutsu faded around them, though was once more strengthened as Shisui sat up quickly. He slipped off the edge of the bed, kneeling before the fallen woman as she tried to understand what happened. Her startled brown eyes shot to his, widening when they bled to red and black, swirling ominously. Fortunately for him, there was no headache this time.

"Arashi-kun, your eyes-"

"Quiet," he ordered calmly. It sounded odd in his childish voice, the order losing its intensity. It didn't matter, though. Airi had no choice but to listen and follow his orders, her pretty features emptying of all emotion. "Calm your mind." Not that she had much of a choice, Shisui reminded himself as he felt her mind grow calm. "You are going to be given three tasks and you will complete each one successfully."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Itachi shift his weight, watching him warily – rightfully, so. Having his Mangekyo activated, using his deadliest technique, was extremely dangerous and Shisui knew he was pushing his luck (it'd been out of habit activating it). However, they had to act fast. They had to do whatever was necessary to complete their mission and return to the hideout.

"Tell me, do you have access to all medical supplies?"

"I do."

"Will you be able to take said supplies?"

"I…" The hesitation had him strengthening his mental grip on her, forcing Airi to answer, "It shouldn't be too much of a problem, if you're willing to wait around."

Waiting around wasn't in their best interest, but it couldn't be helped, he supposed. "Very well. What time does your shift end?"

"Eight."

In five hours. If they didn't get word out to the others, they would search for them or spread the news in the hideout that their fearless leader Itachi was missing – or worse, dead. Which, in turn, would have a detrimental effect on everyone, especially Sasuke and Sakura. Itachi was the only one capable of truly getting through to them, as much as it pained him to admit that. Sakura needed her friend.

"Throughout your shift, you will take small amounts of supplies, storing them in these summoning scrolls," he told her, holding said scrolls up for her to see. "I want medicine, equipment, monitors. I want an entire operating theatre and intensive care unit."

"Sh-"

"Quiet," he warned Itachi. "If we want to survive, we need to do this."

"But to take so much…"

"Is necessary." The young boy alone would need the ICU equipment, should he be overcome by sepsis. "Anything else you deem necessary for a makeshift triage, store it. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Your second order is to falsify our information. Should anyone start snooping around asking questions, you are to keep up the farce that we are mother and child. Understand?"

There were no questions, no confusion as to who they were. She didn't have a choice. "I do."

"Your final order is to always pick a shift on this day, every month. I don't care what commitments you have. You will be here, at the same time, every month on this day. You will find us in the waiting area, personally examine us and repeat what you are about to do today. Understand?"

"I do."

"Go."

* * *

Witnessing the success of his jutsu, Itachi didn't question the flaws in their plan – there were none, now that they'd seen the first success. They knew the rest of the plan would follow along those lines. If Shisui ordered the woman to keep them hidden, she would do it until her dying breath. Nobody would know of their involvement or presence in the village. Not even his own death would break his hold on her mind.

"You want to go shopping?" Itachi asked indignantly.

"Did I stutter?"

"Why?"

Instead of answering immediately, he eyed the nearest drug store, stepping inside once he spotted the items he was looking for. The store was busy, with people shuffling around one another, browsing the shelves almost desperately in a sad attempt to hurry and get out. Signs guided him to the section he needed and Shisui narrowed his eyes, wondering how in the hell he would find the right one.

"Shampoo," came Itachi's flat voice. "You are shopping for shampoo." When only silence met him, followed by him leaning forward, focusing on the women's shampoos, he asked, "You know what shampoo Sakura used?"

No. Not at all. However, he'd spent months with her, his blindness enhancing the rest of his senses. "I'm sure I can find the smell."

"Oh? I was under the impression that-"

"Nothing happened." Was that regret in his voice? Disappointment? Could Itachi detect it?

"But you wish it did." Damn it. He could.

He stooped low to grab a bottle from the bottom shelf. It seemed promising, the brightly coloured packaging catching even his eyes. The writing was too small for him to distinguish and so he took a brief glance around himself, discreetly activating his sharingan in order to read it. Apples, it read. That sounded close, but there was always that slight tang to the scent and upon smelling the contents of the bottle, Shisui found that he was right. It wasn't the right one.

Apparently, Itachi wasn't done with the questions. By the time Shisui had sniffed his fifth bottle, he asked, "Are your feelings sincere?"

He froze mid-sniff, eyeing him through narrowed eyes. "Excuse me?"

"It is not unheard of for people to forge a bond when-"

"Our bond is not _forged_ ," muttered Shisui. Continuing with smelling the bottle, he frowned. Wrong. Again. "It was created and it grew – deepened – over time. _Naturally_."

From beside him, he heard Itachi sigh before he reached out, plucking a plain looking bottle from the top shelf, handing it over. "Do not be so sensitive. I am not underestimating your feelings. I am trying to say that you still have the chance to figure things out in terms of your feelings for one another."

His frown deepened. The scent was the closest match he'd found so far, but at the same time, wasn't the exact same. There was no slight tang – without it, it smelled entirely of apples. Holding it to his chest, he assessed the shelves once more, warily glancing at the sign that read conditioner.

"How likely is it that Sakura would mix her hair products?"

"Extremely." Raising a brow, he then said, "Do not change the subject."

Once more, he sighed. "There is no use in discussing my relationship with Sakura until we both figure out where we stand."

"Then-"

"What about you?" he questioned without pause, still focusing on the conditioners. What was the tang he could smell? It wasn't apples. Was it lemon? Nope, he quickly found out and returned the bottle to its place. "Are your feelings sincere?"

Had his questions been too harsh? Did Itachi sense the bitterness seeping into his words? Did he sound like a jealous lover? Shisui refused to look in his direction. If that was the case, then there were feelings there. That much was obvious. If the relationship was strictly platonic, then being upset by such questions made little sense – at least, he believed it did, anyway.

"My feelings for Sakura are…"

Itachi was at a loss for words? Straightening, Shisui finally met his eye and for the first time, immediately saw him as the man he'd grown into. Not the young boy he'd mentored, but a man who'd fought through many obstacles alone. They were eye level now. More or less the same height. And instead of being the scrawny child he'd once been, he was now lean. His appearance boasted speed _and_ strength, while his aura screamed confidence and peace.

"Complicated," he finally admitted, holding his gaze steadily.

Why did it feel like his heart was in his throat? Like his face was incredibly hot? "She said nothing happened."

"It didn't."

Why was he closing up? Why was he becoming impossible to read? Why wasn't he letting him in? "Then explain how it is complicated. You either have feelings for one another, or you don't."

"We are connected," came his vague explanation. "That is all anyone needs to know."

"You believe I don't need to know the relationship status of my-"

"Of your what?" he demanded, patience running thin. "Nobody other than ourselves needs to know anything, just as nobody needs to know your own situation with her."

"You asked first."

"Then I apologise for overstepping boundaries."

They had never had a standoff before, the pair of them always having similar beliefs and the such, but in that moment, they clashed. Itachi's gaze was piercing, his shoulders rigid and features cold, appearing as though they were carved out of stone – and Shisui knew he was no different. The cold aura coming from him was like a tsunami, threatening to wash him away in order to keep the distance he'd created, refusing to allow him in. Whatever had happened, he didn't want to share. But it was painfully obvious that something _had_ happened.

His grip tightened on the shampoo bottle. Sakura had lied to him. For some reason, she felt the need to keep her connection with Itachi a secret. Was it something to be ashamed of? Had something happened that she wasn't proud of?

"I don't want to fight," Itachi told him suddenly. "So please, respect my privacy and understand that there are certain parts of my life that I do not care to explain or share with others."

He faced the hair products again, then glanced to the shampoo he was carrying.

Something had happened.

And Sakura had lied to him about it.

* * *

 **A/N - Just a quick update to fill you in on what's going on in and why updates are slow. My son is going to be four months old in ten days, but one month and six days after he was born, my mum passed away quite suddenly and I'm feeling really lost. I'll update when I can, so please don't think I've abandoned any of my stories.**


	23. But I'm Alone With You

**Chapter 22 – But I'm Alone With You**

They were back. Something was off, though. Even she could tell that.

Deciding it was best to stay out of the way, she remained by Sasuke's side, watching the group closely as they showed those in the hideout what they managed to procure. She noticed out of the corner of her eye that a small number disagreed with how they gathered the items needed, their gazes averting when they discovered just how much the group had taken.

One woman stated the food would get them through the month. Another said they would be smelling much fresher now and _thank you_ for managing to find toilet roll and toothpaste.

It seemed, without trying, Shisui met her eye in the large crowd of eager refugees. Surprisingly, however, he looked away just as quickly, leaving the main hall. Odd, she thought, arms dropping from their folded position over her chest. Usually, she had to beg him to leave her alone. What had gotten into him? She looked to Itachi, frowning when he finally looked to her. Something had definitely happened out on their mission.

" _Go to him_ ," he mouthed when the attention was diverted from him, the others too busy sorting through the supplies.

Great, because _that_ wasn't foreboding at all. Ignoring Sasuke's intense stare, she pushed away from the wall and followed in the direction Shisui had left in. She doubted anyone saw her slip away – they were too busy rifling through everything, snatching and gasping in shock. They looked like savages, she thought to herself, sparing them a final glance over her shoulder. It was pitiful, really, but she wondered if she would've been like that had her mind not been screwed with.

It took her too long to find him. Why she didn't consider the room that was to be theirs, she'd never know. It was pointless lingering on the thought for too long, however. So, instead, she stepped into the room, assessing it critically before settling her gaze on Shisui's hunched over form on the futon.

"If the mission-"

"Don't."

She couldn't help but stare at him in shock. No, his voice wasn't cold, but she'd rather it was. He sounded broken – heartbroken, in fact. The thought of having to console him made part of her yearn to ease his suffering, whereas the other itched to get away. Did she stay? She _was_ curious to know what the hell had crawled up his ass and died. But was it because she cared or was it out of morbid curiosity?

"What happened?" she found herself asking.

Laying back on the bed, he threw an arm over his eyes, like he was trying to shut her out and for some strange reason, it hurt. Deeply. "Leave me."

Was she always so defiant, or was it because she once cared for him? "No."

The fist of the arm over his eyes clenched and in response, she narrowed her eyes. He'd assured her on more than one occasion that she was safe with him – Itachi had told her she would always be safe with Shisui, too. Were they about to make her regret believing them? Was he about to show her that she couldn't trust anyone?

"Fine. If you will not leave me, then I will-"

It was daring, but she had to know. Grabbing his shoulders just as he started to sit up, she forced him down with little strength, having to rely on her weight entirely since they'd yet to trust her with chakra. His eyes flew open at the movement, his body automatically responding to the offensive move, already attempting to gain the upper hand. Should he truly want it, he'd get it. Sakura knew that. All she could do was hold on.

"You're not going anywhere," she told him coldly, gaze narrowing. The feeling of his hands gripping her, freezing in their attempt to throw her off, sent a chill down her spine. Much to her surprise, however, it also had a voice in her head rejoicing. What was that about? "Talk to me."

"I…" He was at a loss for words, leaving him to stare at her dumbfounded.

"You?"

Suddenly, he chuckled, his head hitting his pillow. It was a dry sort of chuckle. Like he wasn't actually amused and it had her frowning. Was it a bitter laugh? "All the times I've fantasised having you with me like this… _touching_ me."

The words didn't make her want to let him go. "What about it?"

Goosebumps broke out over her skin when Shisui met her gaze once more, the pain and want in his eyes pinning her. What was she supposed to do? Had they ever been in such a position before? So close? So…

* * *

 _"Sakura," he whispered, trembling hands coming to her face. He'd done his best to fight with her, but as he was still recovering, he hadn't been much help. "You don't have to do this for me."_

 _But she did. She had to protect him with everything she had. Not because it was her duty as his medic and not because it was ordered of her._

 _She stunned him by pressing her lips to his, ignoring the fact it made her busted lip sting. Her hand came to the back of his head, about to run through his hair. And then she did it. Her hand connected to the back of his neck and she felt him go limp in her arms._

 _"You have to live," Sakura told him quietly._

* * *

What was that? Was it a memory? A fabrication? Did it matter what it was?

Sat there with him, on him, it felt oddly familiar. Not that it'd happened before but being intimate with him felt familiar. Or did it? Was her mind lying to her again? Sakura couldn't even tell what her heart was saying anymore. There was so much in her mind, so much that had been twisted and toyed with, that she couldn't even tell if the things she was seeing or hearing or remembering, were true.

"I didn't think it would hurt," he eventually replied, growing motionless beneath her, making it clear he wouldn't push her away or reciprocate. "Emotionally, that is." There was a deep rumble in his chest and the hand that'd previously been covering his eyes, now rubbed at his face, indicating his exhaustion. "To have you do this to prove a point or get my attention is hurtful."

It was? Slowly, hesitantly, she relinquished her grip on him, fingertips trailing down his arms as she sat back on her haunches. While she remained on top of Shisui, there was now a considerable distance between their faces, allowing him to breathe more easily. Or could he? Was it enough distance for him, or was it still too much? He didn't seem too against it, she thought. But maybe she was wrong? Gods, was it always so confusing?

Much to her surprise, he sat up, closing the distance once more. "Is this what you want?"

Was it? "I… don't know."

Dark eyes glanced down at her legs, but just when his hands raised, he met her gaze once more, asking, "Can I?"

Could he? The erratic beating of her traitorous heart said yes, yes he could, but her mind was lost. Had they touched in such a way before? Was it new? Yes, it had to be, because he said he'd _fantasised_ about it. But they _had_ kissed before. Or had they?

"Stop thinking so much," he ordered gently. After what seemed to be careful consideration, his hand came down on her hip, his thumb stroking the exposed skin between her pants and shirt. "Relax."

Relax? Stop thinking? It wasn't that easy. Every time Sakura tried to silence her thoughts, other thoughts would bombard her mind – thoughts that weren't her own. They were so loud. So painfully, excruciatingly loud that she wanted to bash her head against the wall until everything was black.

 _Kiss him_.

 _Gauge his eyes out._

 _Touch him._

 _Strangle him._

The heel of her hand slammed into her forehead and Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, willing away the voices. They were so conflicting, tearing her apart with their opposing thoughts. It was hard to think for herself, hard to hear herself over their constant yelling.

"Sakura?"

 _He's lowered his guard – now is the time to attack._

 _He's opening up – accept him._

"Stop it."

 _He'll only hurt you in the end._

 _He's trying so hard to understand you._

"Sakura."

The stiffness of her muscles was new, she noticed belatedly, her entire body going rigid as she fought hard to control the rampant voices. There was nothing she could ever say to describe how it felt – the different directions she was being pulled in, the slip of control. Should she give in even the slightest amount, they would seize control. She could feel them waiting in the darkest corners of her mind, ready to lunge and wreak havoc.

 _He'll use his Sharingan to control you._

 _Let him in._

"Sakura!"

Something was shaking. Was it her? Shisui? The room? It was–

It was her. Green eyes flew open when she felt herself being lowered to the bed on her side, head tilting back. The hands on her were strong, steady. Comforting. For a moment, Sakura was glad he was there as her mind snapped in and out of focus, her short glimpses of his worried expression granting her extra strength.

"Sh-Shisui," she whimpered without consent, much to her utter horror. "Help. H-Help me."

The look in his eyes – his horrified realisation – was what she presumed to be an exact mirror image of her own. Could he see that something was trying to control her? That those words weren't her own? She didn't need his help. Besides the obvious, she was okay. She was fine.

" _Please_. Use it." Dread had her body feeling cold, had her mentally _screaming_ for the voice to shut the hell up, because for some reason, she couldn't speak out loud. "Use your Sharingan."

 _No!_

Why couldn't she regain control of her own damn body? She was shaking with the exertion and could feel herself sweating.

"No."

Could he see the desperation in her eyes? Was that why he refused? It didn't matter to her why he refused. What mattered, was that he _did_ refuse. He knew that she didn't want him to use his Sharingan. Wait… Hadn't she asked him before to use it? Had she? Why couldn't she remember? Why–

* * *

" _Stay here with me," she whimpered through the tears, gulping in air between words. "And if you can't…" There was a shift in his body language as the clouds unveiled the moon in all its glory, his head lowering a fraction. "Then take me with you, Sasuke-kun."_

 _When he turned back to look at her, his expression was one she'd always been torn over – it never failed to break her heart and make it race, all at the same time. His smirk, as cruel as it could be, was beautiful._

" _You're so annoying."_

 _And then he was walking away, like her confession meant nothing to him. Like he didn't care about breaking her heart, even though he could see it shattering right in front of him. Like her feelings, her love, didn't matter._

 _He was leaving_

" _Don't leave me!" she all but screeched, hand coming to her chest as she rushed forward. "If you go, I-I'll scream and-"_

 _How was he so fast? How did he gain so much speed, when only a few hours ago, he'd been in the hospital? Her breath caught in her throat as Sasuke appeared behind her, his chest bumping against her back as she faltered in her step, his breath fanning over her ear and neck when he leaned forward slightly, closing the distance between them._

" _Sakura."_

 _That tone of voice was new. The air around them was different. All was silent for a moment as it settled deep into her gut that he was truly leaving and there was nothing she could do to stop him. He was leaving her. Her gaze zeroed in on the leaves that swayed in the breeze, skimming by them carelessly._

"… _Thank you."_

 _The dancing leaves became a blur by the time they reached the ground, the returning silence deafening, her stomach twisting sharply at the feeling of a hand connecting with the back of her neck, with arms wrapping around her tightly, with a forehead pressing to her hair, a shuddering breath being released._

" _Thank you."_

* * *

What?

 _What?_

Sasuke…

"Sakura," Shisui called worriedly. "Are you okay? You blacked out."

She blacked out? For how long? What actually happened? Was it the Sharingan? Danzo? Had she simply spaced out? Oh, Gods. Whatever happened, it caused an awful pain in her head. But that pain in her head was incomparable to the sudden weight in her heart – no, not weight. It ached. _Burned_.

"Sakura?"

He… left her.

A sharp cry left her, eyes growing wide.

He left her.

"Sakura, breathe. Tell me what's wrong."

He left her.

The pain she was experiencing felt familiar. Normal, even. It felt like something she'd been living with her whole life. Only, because of how badly Danzo screwed her over, she'd forgotten how to deal with it. And instead of breathing normally, she panted. She gulped. She whimpered. Cried. _Wailed_. Because how the hell could she be in love with someone who treated her so coldly? Why was she unable to stop those three seemingly insignificant, but monstrously powerful words, from repeating themselves?

 _He left her._

She was going to give him everything. _Everything_. And he… left her.

The world was shaking again and even though she _knew_ it was her making the noises, she couldn't connect the sobs as her own.

He left her.

He left her.

He left her.

 _He left her!_

"What is it?" Shisui demanded. She barely even felt his grip on her, couldn't tell if it was comforting or restraining. Didn't want to find out. "What can I do?"

* * *

 _It was happening. It was finally happening._

 _She_ knew _when the blush filled her cheeks. She knew she would forever be able to recall the exact moment it happened. Just when their gazes met, she spotted a vulnerable look in his eyes that surprised her, taking her breath away. And was it just her, or was he shaking, too? Was he nervous too?_

 _Almost there…_

 _Part of her didn't even want to close her eyes, for fear of missing even the slightest of details. But it would be weird keeping them open, Sakura reminded herself reluctantly, her heart skipping a beat at the thrill that rushed through her when they closed, when she felt his breath leave him, washing over her._

 _Their noses brushed and her lips parted._

 _He paused, the suspense nearly causing her to groan._

 _And then the oddest of sounds caught her attention, though only because Sasuke had already pulled back, clutching his stomach._

" _Not now!"_

 _The words mirrored her thoughts and despair washed through her in humongous waves as he disappeared._

* * *

Had they ever picked up from there? Did they kiss at some point in their lives?

 _He's always leaving you._

 _You'd better leave him out of this._

 _He'll leave you again._

 _Don't listen–_

 _He'll betray you and leave you the first chance he gets. Maybe he'll even hand you over to Danzo if he's given the right bargain._

Would he? Would Sasuke really do that? Even after all their time together? After their kiss – _nearly_ kiss, she meant. Wait, it was an almost kiss, wasn't it? Had Sasuke ever shown an interest in her after that, or was the moment permanently destroyed by his irritated stomach? What if the only time they returned to that bench, was when he abandoned her on it? When he left her?

 _No, he won't. Sasuke-kun isn't like that–_

 _Kill him before he gets_ you _killed, Sakura._

 _No, please–_

* * *

" _-kura!"_

 _The pained shouting was what guided her back to consciousness, her eyes fluttering as she fought to focus on her surroundings. The last thing she could remember was… was running in front of Sasuke, who was injured and unable to defend himself. They'd been ambushed and hadn't stood a chance._

" _Sakura!"_

 _Was she imagining the anguish in Sasuke's voice? The desperation? Did it make her pathetic for enjoying the heartbreak? No, enjoy was the wrong word, but it was the only one she could think of in that moment._

 _Lifting her head, she found that she was mere feet from Sasuke, who was tied up securely, his grazed chin digging into the dirt as he used it to drag himself towards her. It was a heart-warming sight – the relief in his expression would stay with her always._

" _Are you okay?"_

* * *

"Sak-"

"W-What's real?" Gods, her own mind was going to tear her apart. _"What's real?"_

"This." Strong, steady hands settled her into a seated position and Shisui demanded her undivided attention as he knelt before her, eyes firm. "This is real, Sakura. Don't focus on anything else for now. We'll figure that out later."

That was easy for him to say. He wasn't the one somehow losing control of his own body. He wasn't constantly wondering just what the hell was going on in his own damned mind. Every time Sakura was certain of something, a voice would pipe up and give its unwanted opinion, shattering her beliefs and thoughts. Just the other morning, she'd argued with herself about her natural hair colour. It was so red and crusty and matted at that moment in time that she couldn't really tell _how_ pink it'd originally been. Had it even been pink?

"Look at me."

It didn't register in her mind that she did so without hesitation, without a flicker of fear.

"I'm real," he assured her, and it wasn't until then that she realised they were holding hands. No, _she_ was holding _his_ hands. "We're real."

Yes, he was. He was real. They were real. But… So were her memories with Sasuke.

What did it mean? Why was she suddenly seeing her past with Sasuke? Did it have a deeper meaning? Was something about to happen? Had Danzo selected those specific memories to bombard her with when she grew to close to someone else? Why? Wait, she knew why, didn't she? It was the whole curse thing – it pissed her off. Why the hell was she the one being screwed around with? Surely there were others who were precious to the Uchiha men?

Flashes of red hair filled her mind, accompanied by glasses and black hair and the Sharingan and fits of jealous rage. Who were they? Did they matter? Was she supposed to care about them? A woman from the Uchiha Clan – obviously not Mikoto – smiling at her, like they were friends. A connection via Itachi, maybe? If they were friends for a while, she must have crossed paths with the woman.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"I can't-" Out of frustration, Sakura paused, biting her lip despite the pain it caused. "I don't know where to start – I don't know _what_ I'm thinking or why or _how_ I even–"

He tried to smile. "It's okay-"

"No, it's not! I just…" Had she always been such a crybaby? Shakily, she wiped at her face, glaring down at her wet fingers. "I want things to be simpler. I want to know… what I want."

There was an emotion in his eyes, feelings it evoked within her, that she couldn't fully comprehend. "What do you feel right now?"

His gaze drifted downwards, focusing on her lips and she swallowed, copying his example, focusing on the fullness of his lips, the even lining. Had he always been pale? Something in her mind told her no, he hadn't always been pale. A lack of sunlight would do that to a person – apparently he hadn't been out long enough to make a difference to his appearance. There were no fine lines, no wrinkles to be seen and not for the first time, she questioned how old he was.

"I was twenty when Danzo attacked me," he murmured thoughtfully, then frowned. "I guess I should be twenty-eight." He smirked faintly. "Not that it really matters anymore."

No, she supposed it didn't, given the circumstances.

Her eyes shut when his fingers grazed her cheek, soon cupping it. "Do you want this?"

The sensation of his thumb brushing against her lips had them parting and she felt her cheeks burn. "Yes."

* * *

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _Her forehead pressed against his collarbone, thighs pressed tightly to his, fingers tangled in his shirt. The smell of body wash and toothpaste filled her senses and her lips twitched, a ghost of a smile crossing her features._

 _"Yes."_

* * *

Who…?

Horrified, she pulled back, wide eyes fixated on Shisui's features. His eyes were still closed, lips parted just as hers had been, but upon sensing her retreat, he looked to her with a frown of confusion.

"What's wrong?"

It was on unsteady legs that she climbed off Shisui and the bed, hand falling to the wall as she attempted to regain her balance. There was an intense pounding in her head, most likely the voices since she couldn't make out a single word they were saying. They were too busy talking over one another, _screaming_ at each other, not caring in the least about the pain they were putting her through. Why would they care about her vision dimming? About her legs suddenly giving out beneath her? They were only voices planted inside her mind, threatening to finish the job of driving her insane.

"Sakura?"

* * *

 _Soft, soft hair_ – _so surprisingly soft, given his new lifestyle_ – _was gripped tightly in her fist, tipping his head back to continue their feverish kiss, her moans lost to the training grounds that had once been a second home to Team Seven. The hands holding her were firm, strong, guiding her into a steady rock, their joining hips refusing to be silent. Should anyone happen across them, there would be no disguising what was happening. There was no way to sweet talk her way out of it._

 _What she was doing, after all, could be classed as treason. The worst kind of treason._

* * *

"Sakura?"

Ignoring Shisui, she fought her way through the haze, struggling forward on weak legs, hand trailing the wall so that she would remain upright. She had to find him. Had to know if what she was seeing, was true. If it was… Then, what? What did it matter? She doubted it would even change anything. There would still be that wall between them, wouldn't there? Was there even a wall? Were her memories true?

* * *

 _With his legs bending at the knees and falling open, she could feel the tension in his muscles draining away, his face soon being buried in her neck, panting and leaving open-mouthed kisses, nipping at her skin._

* * *

No. It couldn't be true. It couldn't. _It couldn't._

"Calm down, please," Shisui begged, grabbing her shoulder. "You're working yourself up."

She continued to ignore him, desperately searching through the main hall to try and spot him, but he wasn't there. No one of importance to her was. Just the scavengers she'd spotted earlier as they oohed and awed over the stolen goods. It seemed as though they were already putting themselves to work, the scent of the feast that was being prepared causing Sakura's stomach to twist sharply.

"Where is he?" she demanded and pushed away from Shisui, tears of frustration filling her eyes. _"Where is he?"_

"Who?"

A hushed conversation managed to grab her attention and Sakura all but darted towards the smaller meeting room, stumbling into the room. They reacted quickly, as they were trained to, each moving to steady her, but she brushed each of them off, gaze going straight to _him_.

"Tell me it's not true."

Realisation had him assessing the others, but she took no notice in their curiosity. Didn't care about their bewilderment. Nothing else in that moment mattered to her. Not when she needed her answers. Everyone else could go screw themselves, for all she cared. "Sakura-"

* * *

 _"Sakura," he groaned into her ear._

 _The damp grass tickled her knees as she readjusted her position, clinging to him as her hips worked an intense rhythm, previously closed eyes opening and gazing up at the night sky, the sight of the stars soon blurring when his lips returned to her throat. The hold on her increased in strength before his hand fisted in her hair, their eyes locking and a shiver of pleasure running up her spine._

 _Their bodies were tense as they met their end together, clinging to one another almost desperately, refusing to leave a single millimetre of space between them._

* * *

"Now is not the time, Sakura," he warned her and she finally noticed the way the others were staring at them.

Like hell it mattered, though. Those memories _had_ to be real. They were too detailed, _too real_ , to be planted there. Danzo wouldn't know about little details such as the tiny mole on the inside of her thigh, or the way his eyes looked when up close.

"Answer me," she snapped, heart in her throat. The rest of the world was just noise as she stepped closer to him, panting. "Did we sleep together, Itachi?"


	24. Recognise The Weapon In My Mind

**Chapter 23 – Recognise The Weapon In My Mind**

Well… He couldn't say he'd been expecting _that_.

He hadn't been expecting her explosive revelation – one that shook him to the core. He hadn't expected it to happen in front of so many outsiders. He hadn't expected Sasuke's initial reaction to be as dark, as hateful, as it had been, forcing Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto to remove him from the room, one hand around his throat, the other covering his deadly sharingan with Naruto's forehead protector. Most of all, however, he hadn't expected the flash of pain in Itachi's eyes. His friend tried his damned hardest to hide it from them all, to remain unaffected by Sakura's demands for answers. But Shisui knew. He could see it clearly.

"Itachi?" he called out once the others had left, ignoring their backwards glances.

The trembling of Sakura's hands hadn't ceased, not for a single moment. Part of him worried for her, worried that there would be a repeat of whatever the hell had happened in what was supposed to be _their_ room. The other part was too tied up in the agonising pain in his chest, trying his best to keep in control of the rampant emotions swirling within him, demanding to take control and make him lash out – that couldn't happen. He had to be rational.

Gods, he wanted to be irrational for once. He wanted to give in to the pain of his heart. However, from Itachi's reaction alone, Shisui could tell there was more to the story. His oldest friend would not allow so much emotion to shine through unless it was too great for him to manage – and that was something he simply could not ignore.

"You told me nothing happened," he accused quietly.

Itachi's heavy gaze returned to Sakura, his expression shifting to concern in response to her suffering. Reaching out, he gently took her hand, guiding her to the table and instructing them both to sit. They were both reluctant to do so, although Sakura seemed more impatient to have her questions answered than anything. No doubt the thought of possibly straightening out one of her many messy relationships appealed massively to her.

 _That was petty_ , he inwardly scolded himself. Sakura was allowed to have a life before him. But, the lies, on the other hand…

"Sakura, I-" Itachi's loss for words stunned Shisui and he watched, just barely keeping his mouth closed, as he attempted to find the right way to word his sentence. "Our relationship is complicated, but no, we did not sleep together."

He breathed out a heavy sigh, the squeezing of his heart easing slightly.

"But I _saw_ and _felt_ so many details. I-"

"Look at me," he ordered softly and once more took her hands, steadying the shaking fists. "I swear to you that I am not lying. I would never lie to you."

The squeezing returned, eradicating his ability to breathe as he assessed the situation, as he witnessed the way Itachi handled and spoke with Sakura. What killed him most were her responses. The natural way she responded, relaxing like she'd no doubt done so many times over the years. It was simple, the interactions between them, like it was the easiest thing in the world to be in each other's presence. Whereas with him, they'd only ever known complications.

"Shisui, I did not lie to you, either. Nothing happened."

There was a but coming. For the life of him, he couldn't push him to continue.

"However, I did…" He breathed out a weighted sigh and returned his gaze to Sakura, who was frowning up at him questioningly. "I attempted to court you."

And there it was.

He sat back, barely resisting the urge to rub at his face in frustration.

There was a brief, worried glance in his direction, the cold façade dropping entirely as Itachi continued, telling them, "We had bonded and been friends for several years when I came to the realisation that I had developed feelings for you, Sakura. From what you told me, those feelings were reciprocated, albeit shadowed by your love for my brother."

"So… It's true," she all but whispered, eyes dropping. "The reason why _he_ branded me-"

"No," both he and Itachi said firmly, simultaneously.

"Having feelings does not make you a whore," Shisui continued with the same firm tone. His gut twisted with anger at the mere thought of her thinking that way of herself. One could not help the confusing mess that was love – not when there were so many different kinds. "Two loves are never the same."

Unsurely, she nodded once. "My love for Sasuke was unhealthy – from the bits and pieces I can remember." Again, Itachi sighed and nodded once. It looked as though he wanted to interrupt, but he held his tongue, allowing her to try and sift through her thoughts unaided. "My love for you was based on us bonding over his betrayal." There was reluctance in the way Itachi nodded. "What about you, Shisui?" she questioned, looking to him helplessly. "What kind of love did we have?"

What kind of love did they have? That was a good question. _What kind was it?_ Had they grown fond of each other due to the constant, close proximity? The intimacy, perhaps, that came with a constant carer by his side? Sakura had seen him at his absolute lowest – a sight not even himself had predicted to be possible. In all his life, he hadn't known there'd been such a darkness within him. The depression he'd sunk into had been beyond destructive. If that happened to be what bonded them, would that make their love more toxic than her love for Sasuke?

"I don't know."

"Companionship," Itachi added, frowning. "Your feelings for one another developed naturally, though weren't fully developed when you were taken hostage. There is still room for you to grow."

Was Itachi supporting it? Their potential relationship? Why?

"I'm so confused," Sakura suddenly growled, ripping her hands from his and slamming them down onto the table. It creaked and shook warningly, though not for a second did Itachi look away from her eyes – not like himself, who focused on the deadly, shaking weapons that were her fists. "How can I have feelings for three different people? Surely falling in love with a second person – _with a third person –_ means my feelings for the person before weren't important?"

Damn, there was no mistaking the aching her words caused Itachi. He couldn't even look at her for a handful of seconds afterwards, his jaw clenching.

"Not necessarily-"

"Who's to say I won't do it again?" she demanded, clearly growing more agitated by the second. "Who's to say _you're_ not _lying to me?"_

"Even in normal circumstances, you can never truly tell if a person is lying to you," Shisui answered after several moments when it became apparent Itachi had no answer. It was odd witnessing such a vulnerable side to him – vulnerability in terms of a romantic relationship, that was. How often had Sakura seen it? Was it why she valued their friendship so much? Why she defended him and stood by him so resolutely? "You must take their word for it."

Her eyes tightened, lips turning downwards. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do," she confided in them, voice shaking. "I don't even know how I feel."

"You don't have to do or feel anything," Itachi assured her, finally speaking up once more. "I cannot speak for my brother and Shisui, but I do not expect anything from you, Sakura."

"Now is not the time to be focusing on relationships," Shisui said, voicing his thoughts. "There is too much going on."

Pushing her the way he had, he quickly realised, had been a mistake. Instead of expecting her to know what she wanted, merely because of the pain it caused him waiting around, was inexcusably wrong of him. Sakura was suffering in ways he couldn't even imagine and he'd been expecting romance out of her. How could he do that? She didn't even know who she was anymore. How could he expect her to love anyone? To know them enough for that?

" _Get the hell off me,"_ came a harsh snarl and he sighed.

"Sasuke," Itachi said, almost reluctantly. Looking back to them, he admitted, "I was hoping this day would never come."

That, Shisui could believe. Never before had Itachi ever betrayed his younger brother or gone against his love for him. To him, Sasuke had always come first. He'd always been his first and most important priority. But, he'd blatantly disregarded said love when feelings for Sakura began to bloom. When Itachi said he attempted to court her, that meant he would have gone to his parents and the clan elders. It would have been official, not simply dating. Marriage had been awaiting them, if they'd accepted his wishes. Part of Shisui wanted to know how it all went down. Who was the one who said no? Was it their clansmen, or Sakura?

"It won't be an easy conversation."

The younger Uchiha didn't answer, keeping his eyes on the opening when he noticed a trembling, pale hand grab at the arch, clearly being held back. His knuckles turned white under the pressure and they heard a grunt of frustration.

" _Get a hold of yourself, damn it,"_ Naruto growled with a great deal of strain in his voice. That strain only became more obvious the louder he got, all but screaming, " _What are you gonna do, huh? Kill him? Try to kill her_ again _?_ Huh? _"_

It was instinctively that Shisui stood over Sakura with his back to her, hard eyes fixated on the opening to the meeting room – like his body moved of its own accord. Should Sasuke try to kill her, he would put him down. Itachi would have had to improve exponentially over the years to stand against him if he went at full strength, even if Shisui was sloppier now. Like hell would he allow for Sasuke lay another offensive hand on her.

Apparently it was only Naruto attempting to hold Sasuke back, Shisui noticed and his sharingan activated, preparing himself even when Itachi grabbed his shoulder, holding him in place. He ignored his friend, focus zeroing in on the youngest Uchiha when Sasuke's murderous eyes spotted them as he managed to drag himself half into the room, blood oozing down his cheeks, his vicious scowl twisting further at the sight of his brother.

"Let him come."

"Shisui-"

"I'm owed-"

Shisui ducked when he sensed danger, the table slamming into the wall and breaking apart like it was nothing more than a stick.

"I don't owe you a goddamn thing!" she yelled, voice echoing around them.

The pure malice in her voice had Shisui finally looking away from Sasuke, focusing on the way she panted and shook with her strength of her emotions, eyes burning into Sasuke's. For once, she didn't fear the sharingan – she stared it down coldly, daring him to harm her as she took a step closer to him.

"I don't owe you anything," she repeated, the words much quieter, but voice certainly not steady as it shook.

There was a harsh tug, a shake, almost, and Sasuke managed to free one of his arms completely. He swung, striking at the person directly behind him before kicking away from them. It seemed Kakashi had left it up to Naruto to calm him down, perhaps assuming the blond was capable of doing so, because he was nowhere to be seen. It infuriated Shisui beyond belief, because clearly, Sasuke was much stronger than his former teammate.

"My brother?" demanded Sasuke murderously and Shisui felt his eyes automatically going to the next stage in response. Who gave him the right to speak to her in such a way? Why did it seem so… natural for them? It sickened him. Unhealthy was an understatement when it came to them. It was toxic. "You slept with my brother?"

Itachi spun on his heel, warning him, "Sasuke, stop-"

"Stay the hell out of it," he spat.

He glanced back to Sakura upon sensing the change in her, as did Itachi, whose eyes widened in surprise, immediately going to her forehead. Why, he wasn't entirely sure, because there was nothing there to be seen. It was as pale and bruised as it had been moments before the sudden gain of chakra. Did she have a reserve pool of chakra he didn't know about? Wait, yes. Yes, she did. It was the Hokage's technique. And somehow, she had figured how to tap into it, or had done so unknowingly with the help of her heightened emotions.

Within seconds of sensing it, Itachi was on her, blocking her view of Sasuke and holding her still. He dared to close her fists in his hands, despite the fact they were glowing blue. "Do not-"

It sickened him to hear a sudden crunching of bones when she opened her fists and Shisui questioned just how monstrous her strength truly was, for the move seemed to require no effort on her part, whereas Itachi had attempted to fight her, using his own chakra to enhance his strength.

"Shit," grumbled Naruto and he once more tried to restrain Sasuke. His arm came around his throat and he spun him into the wall, other hand grabbing the back of his head to hold him still. "Look at what you're doing to her," he snarled, increasing his strength at the struggle. There was an awful sound of his skin scraping along the stone, cheek squashed and almost shutting his right eye entirely as he was forced to watch her. "Look at her, you bastard! Why the hell do you always do this to her? _Why?"_

It was becoming too chaotic, Shisui thought to himself. And others were quickly involving themselves, rushing to the defence of no doubt their leader – not the rest of them, just Itachi, for he would be the one to lead them in taking back Konoha. He assessed the area, eyes meeting Sasuke's enraged bloody eyes, showing that he was almost completely consumed by the Curse of Hatred. Then, he looked to Sakura, who was equally as lost in her own madness. Only, now, she had access to a frightening amount of chakra – enough to freak out his usually composed friend, who was barely managing to restrain her, no longer possessing the use of his hands. It was getting dangerous. Somebody was going to get seriously hurt.

He shut his eyes, breathing out slowly.

And then all those involved in the scuffle fell to the ground in boneless heaps.


	25. What's Left Of Me

**Chapter 24 – What's Left Of Me**

Her hands came to her face, covering her mouth in muted horror, as they fell to the ground around her.

Upon hearing the commotion, she had come rushing – not to Naruto's defence, but Sakura's. She had learned long ago through watching the dysfunctional team not to involve herself in their disputes. Too many times, Sakura had been caught in the middle, her feelings trampled on mercilessly. Even if she hadn't, she would have come to Sakura's aid rather than Naruto's. Naruto could handle himself. Her friend, at that moment in time, was vulnerable.

There were several gasps behind her, but fortunately the civilians were kept back by her cousin and his teammate, allowing her the chance to collect herself and approach Sakura's motionless body.

"Genjutsu," noted Kakashi. He'd taken it upon himself to check Itachi, perhaps wishing to soothe the civilians' concerns for their leader. His sharingan was revealed and he followed a trail, single eye narrowing on the eldest Uchiha in the room. "Shisui-san's doing."

"They won't be getting out of this until he releases them, then," Genma informed them all and he huffed, lifting Shisui and propping him into a seated position against the wall. From what she could see of him, the Uchiha was relaxed, almost peaceful. "Probably for the best given what we heard."

Was Shisui truly that powerful? Of course, she'd heard rumours, however, seeing the power for herself was a different matter entirely. "There are sharingan users among them," she began, frowning slightly. "Will they be capable of releasing the genjutsu?"

"No," Kakashi replied simply before copying Genma's example, setting Itachi down beside his friend. "Shisui-san possesses the most powerful sharingan of them all – it is rumoured to be the most powerful since Uchiha Madara's."

Madara, she had definitely heard of. The elders of her clan had spoken multiple times of him and each time, it was with great displeasure. To shorten the war stories of old men: he fell victim to the Curse of Hatred, becoming a menace to Konoha, one who could only be defeated by their honourable first Hokage. To think that there were another set of eyes out there, powerful enough to be labelled as on par with Madara's, was frightening.

"Can you move her, Hinata?"

Yes, of course she could, she wanted to say in disbelief. Instead, Hinata smiled and knelt beside her friend, turning her onto her back, only to freeze at the blood soaking through her shirt. Instantly, Kakashi was by their side, nodding once to her to quickly examine the wound on her stomach. It sickened her doing so, the sight of the Uchiha emblem that marred her once flawless skin oozing with fresh blood.

"It must have pulled open when she fell," she explained to him and looked to her cousin, asking, "Neji-nii-san, please could you escort the civilians back to the main hall?"

"Yes, Hinata-sama."

It only took a handful of moments for them to gain more privacy and she smiled in thanks when Tenten returned with medical supplies, allowing her to cleanse and redress the wound. Apparently, she was not the only one who found it difficult to look at, for Kakashi spared it a single glance and averted his gaze, his fists clenching on the ground. Biting the inside of her cheek, she leaned Sakura's chin against her shoulder and switched her shirt, handing the bloodied shirt to Tenten to dispose of.

"That will never heal, will it?"

Sadly not. "Even Tsunade-sama would have struggled to reduce the scarring," she admitted to him and feeling self-conscious for her friend, she tugged the shirt further down, wishing more than anything that she could remove it for her. "It would take skin grafts to cover the… _mark_." It was a struggle even calling the brand a simple mark. "Even then, she would remain scarred in some way."

"Random scars would be better than that," Genma stated. She'd forgotten he was even there, since he was on her blind side. "The bastard branded her."

How far into Sakura's mind Danzo had been able to get and was any of it true, she couldn't help but wonder. How deep was her love for all three men laid out before them? They all seemed calm, yet devoid of all emotion as she gently placed Sakura between the two eldest of the three Uchiha, her expression equally as relaxed. It was on odd picture, she had to admit.

Throughout their years at the academy, Hinata had often heard Sakura's proclaims of love and boasting of how she would become an Uchiha one day. Like herself, they had all assumed it would be through marriage with Sasuke, given how close they grew during their days as Team Seven. But what if that wasn't the case? What if Sakura was right about marrying an Uchiha, but wrong about which one? She disliked getting involved in others' business, however for Sakura's sake, Hinata truly hoped she would not marry Uchiha Sasuke.

She liked to believe that she was the last person to judge another, for nobody held that right, but Hinata couldn't deny that Sasuke was an awful person – no, that was wrong of her to say, wasn't it? Naruto would be incredibly disappointed. In his eyes, his dearest friend was lost and from the rumours she'd heard: he was lost to the Curse of Hatred. It was a fate that wreaked havoc, devastating the lives of all those who came into contact with it.

A strong emotion filled her chest and Hinata leaned forward, brushing the coarse hair from Sakura's forehead. Already, her friend had been deeply affected by Sasuke's hatred. Despite her love for him, she had been ready to kill him, wishing to free Sasuke from his torment, but while she had reluctantly made that decision, it appeared Sasuke had tried to kill her in a moment of blind rage.

According to Naruto, Sasuke _did_ love Sakura. He loved her, but didn't understand said love. It was why he felt so betrayed, why he felt so helpless. Tilting her head to the side, she peered over in his direction, eye drawn to the blood dripping off his chin as he was sat upright beside his brother.

Was that how an Uchiha loved? Through fits of rage so great it blinded them entirely to the bigger picture? To the extent that, seeing a single fault in the one they loved, caused such an explosion? And when said love was threatened, it began the Curse of Hatred? _That_ was how they loved another? She pitied the Uchiha clan for such an unfortunate curse, she really, truly did. However, that was not love. Not a healthy love, anyway and it certainly was not what Sakura deserved.

Would she support her friend if she decided to pursue a relationship with Sasuke? Hinata sighed deeply and stood. Yes, she would support her. If anything, Hinata would support Sakura more, given how toxic the Uchiha love was.

"Maybe you should cut it while she's out," came her sister's serene words, startling Hinata since she hadn't seen her arrive. "It can't be comfortable."

No, it wasn't. However, to cut her hair while she was unconscious, without her permission and while knowing how big a deal her hair was to her, was asking for trouble. Had Yamanaka Ino been around, perhaps even catastrophic, although, Hinata supposed, the blonde had always been capable of _aiding_ Sakura in making decisions. Perhaps if she'd been there with them, or she and Ino had switched places, Sakura wouldn't be half as lost as she currently was?

"Are you doubting yourself, O-nee-sama?"

She eyed the men in the room, noticing how they watched their interactions, watched even closer at how Sakura was managing in the world Shisui had conjured in his genjutsu.

The torture Sakura had endured while Danzo's captive was nothing short of horrific – and that was just physically. A mere glance in her friend's direction strongly indicated the war zone that was now her mind, alerting them of her instability. The dishevelled appearance, the zoning out or focusing on things that weren't there, the talking to herself and the inability to differentiate reality from lies. There was a strict protocol for the mentally ill in her clan: lock them away. They could not be seen. To have outsiders know of the issues within their clan was disastrous to their reputation. Hence why those with flaws or weaknesses were looked over or locked away entirely.

"O-nee-sama?

There was extra enunciation on her sister's words and Hinata felt the blood rush to her cheeks in response, the red shade deepening when she found the others were watching her, also. "I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, much to her own annoyance. "I cannot cut Sakura-san's hair without her permission, Hanabi."

"Father-"

"We are not in our clan's district anymore," she told her sternly. "We cannot control others as Father controlled us."

Knowing how to handle her younger sister had always been tricky, for Hanabi was her total opposite. Growing up, Hinata had believed she needed to be gentle with her, to be a caring, protective older sister, however, she had been wrong. Hanabi was tough – far tougher than Hinata was – and didn't need to be babied. The best approach, the best way to get through to her younger sister, was to be honest and firm in her stance. To be any different was an insult, in Hanabi's eyes.

"Was he ever wrong?" she countered. Like their father, like many others in their clan, Hanabi had mastered the stern pokerface, the perfect expression-less mask. "Did Father ever make a bad decision?"

That was difficult to judge. To an outsider, yes. Their father would have made several decisions they did not agree with or viewed to be 'bad'. To their clansmen? No, probably not. To them, everything happened for a reason, for a bigger purpose, to help shape their clan's future. Every person within their clan withstood an awful amount because to go against decisions made by their elders or patriarch, meant to go against the clan. It was the ultimate betrayal and was punishable by death.

"When it comes to the clan, no, Father was not wrong," she told her honestly. It wasn't a complete lie, merely saving herself from being labelled as a traitor.

"That hardly matters right now," Kakashi intervened when Hanabi's eyes widened a fraction, much to Hinata's gratefulness, her heart skipping a beat with fear. "Sakura is not having a haircut, no matter how bad it looks. She will cut it when she's ready."

"It's hardly a priority."

A twitch in Shisui's features grabbed their attention and she frowned. What happened? They looked closer, trying to spot the cause of the movement, but there was nothing and nothing happened to any of the others, either.

Biting her lip, Hinata looked over to Naruto's unmoving body beside Sasuke's and tried to ignore the shiver that ran up her spine at his unnatural stillness. It wasn't him. Uzumaki Naruto was a man full of life and positivity – someone who was capable of inspiring others in the direst of situations. He was the one who woke her up to her clan's unhealthy, manipulative ways. It was because of him, that she was who she'd become.

"They'll be okay," said Kakashi. "I doubt Shisui-san would do anything to harm them."

No, he _hoped_ Shisui wouldn't do anything. What did they actually know about the Uchiha who'd been missing for eight long years without a single explanation? Without even an attempt at an explanation? One didn't simply disappear off the face of the earth, no matter how strange and chaotic their lives as ninja were. He could have been–

" _Hatake-san!"_

Her thoughts were halted abruptly by the civilian woman who rushed into the room, her child clinging to her, crying hysterically into her chest. Releasing a quivering breath, making it apparent she'd been running with her son for a while, she shifted, awkwardly shuffling him closer, her arms coming around him more securely.

"What is it?"

Despair washed over her features when she caught sight of the unconscious Uchiha Itachi, tears filling her eyes. "It's Danzo," she cried helplessly. "Danzo has found us."


End file.
